Aloe Vera (59 reviews)
Foco Aloe Vera Drink Mixed Berry
Foco...come on. This is gross. It's so thick and syrupy. Dude, it's gross. It tastes diet but it most certainly isn't. It's somehow clear, regardless of how many colorful berries are on the can. It tastes like someone made aloe in cans that had a ton of soap residue on them. This might be the worst aloe I've ever had. I don't know what else to say. Thumbs down, Foco. There is no reason why a "regular" drink should get a one out of five review. I guess in those regards, you won. Congratulations?
- Website
- http://www.thaiagri.com
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/9/2011
FunctionALOE Cleanse Cucumber
I just finished off a container of hands down the best salsa I have ever tasted in my life. Christine Mackie’s mom made it, and I will love her forever for her salsa skills. The mass amounts of basil in it made it absolutely incredible. I am going to have dreams for months about this salsa. It will haunt me that it is not readily available in my life.
Now that it’s gone I just want a nice crisp tasting beverage. Cucumber drinks have never failed me in the past. They are always refreshing and tasty. Now you mix cucumber with aloe and you should have an award winning drink, right? Wrong! If I were a dirty child at some crazy strict olde timey Catholic school a nun would have smacked me over the knuckles with a ruler for that incorrect answer. Yes in theory it should have been amazing. In the world of functionAloe it was down right terrible. It tastes like neither aloe nor cucumber. It does taste like it should be some sort of cleaner. I really couldn’t get more than a few sips down before I started contemplating if I needed to call poison control. If I downed this entire bottle I think I might have to get my stomach pumped. I guess they weren’t kidding when they named this “Cleanse.”
Some people may blame the taste on the fact that it’s sweetened with stevia, but I can vouch for that little guy. I’ve had plenty of drinks that he has sweetened and he is my favorite “diet” sweetener. Also, there are no chunks in this. What is a point of an aloe drink without fun chunks?
For something that had the potential to be one of my favorite drinks ever this went in completely the wrong direction. It would have been hard for them to make it any worse. I really wish I had more of that incredible salsa to kill the poison on my tongue.
- Website
- http://www.lilyofthedesert.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Leaf Extract
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/28/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Coco Exposed Mangosteen + Mango
This could not be a more disgusting drink. I mean it. This is hardly drinkable. I took one sip and essentially signed off on the whole thing. I love aloe. This has so much chunk in it that you think that you're drinking something else. It's downright thick. Second, it's got coconut water in it which I am not the largest fan of, but I thought that since it's got fruits in there, both prefixed with "mango" ironically, it might be alright. Nope. It stood out like a sore thumb. I can taste the fruit but it's so masked by chunks and coconut that you'd be better off just not adding flavor, or more flavor. This drink is a Frankenstein of all things bad and no, I'm not using that phrase because it's a week away from Halloween.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/26/2011
Coco Exposed Pure Coconut Water Wheatgrass
Nope. I went into this thinking it was going to be gross and hoping to be wrong and I was right. Story time? You've got it.
There was once a bar that Jay DJ'd at and it was pretty great. They sold everything and also served food and drink. You could go in there, buy a nice meal and the chair you sat in to eat it. Tables, chairs, toys, odds and ends, and more; everything was for sale. It was cool. Jay and I were there for a night he was playing and he took a break and they offered wheatgrass so we split a shot of it. It wasn't bad. We thought it was going to be gross, but it just tastes like the smell of freshly cut grass. A little sweet but very...fresh. Very green. It's got some immense amount of vitamins and minerals equivalent to multiple servings of vegetables.
This is just a strange, smooth, chunky texture, like if you watered down your morning oatmeal and drank it, except your oatmeal smelled like if you poured the dust from a box of Cheerios into a cup rather than actual cereal.
This is bad. I have said it before and I'll say it again. How does stuff like this make it to market?
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/6/2012
Foco Aloe Vera with Honey
This is my least favorite aloe vera drink. Can you have a least favorite? Wouldn't your least favorite just be bad? Couldn't you just say you didn't like it or just not describe it as a favorite? Allow me to revise...
This was the worst aloe vera drink I've ever had. It's harsh, I know, and Foco has done me right with some of their nectars and stuff but this is just plain not great. It's got a strange odor to it. Someone I worked with described it as "...like Play Doh®" and because I can't think of a better description, I have no choice but to agree. The honey taste is very good, though. Not enough to save it, but a good, natural tasting honey. It reminds me of these honey hard candies I used to get from The Nature Company that had real honey on the inside. Those candies were the only things I ever bought in that store. Did you know that when The Nature Company did inventory, they had people count all of the tumbled rocks in a giant barrel? My mom had to count small rocks for a night and she probably still has nightmares.
Get that candy. Don't get this drink.
- Website
- http://www.thaiagri.com
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/16/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Yogo Vera Pineapple
Unfortunately this does not contain yogurt at all. It's basically tastes like the Aloevine Pineapple drink with milk added to it. I've had a bunch of drinks with milk in them lately, and I haven't been a huge fan. The chunks of aloe in this are no larger than pulp in orange juice. That's disappointment city. The chunks are what makes aloe drinks fun. In conclusion with is like a pulpy pineapple juice with milk. Who wants that?
- Country
- Korea
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/5/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
FunctionALOE Immune Lemon
Guys, thanks for coming over and helping me clean up the house. As you know I have this big party coming up for some foreign dignitaries and I want everything to be perfect. You guys have made that possible. This place is spotless. I can literally see my reflection in the floor. I think I finally have the proper setting to hammer out those peace treaties. I'll tell you this though; I am parched from all that work. Luckily I have this bottle of lemon-flavored aloe. This is going to be refreshing to no end. *twists off cap. chug. spit take.* Okay which one of you wisenheimers switched out my aloe for cleaning products!?!?! Guys this isn't funny I could get really sick! You swear you didn't? Well now that you mention it the freshness seal did check when I opened it. Apparently Lily of the Desert wanted this drink to takes the way that Lemon Pledge smells. It even smells strange. This is my first time around with this company and it's also my first time being disappointed with an aloe drink. The chunks are more like the pulp in orange juice than normal aloe chunks. I thought it might have just been me who didn't "get" this drink so I had five other people try it, and everyone had an identical reaction. The stevia and the lemon just do not blend well together.
- Website
- http://www.lilyofthedesert.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Leaf Extract
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/23/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Coco Exposed Pure Coconut Water Peach + Kiwi
Alo what have you done! Your mother and I leave you home alone for two hours, entrusting you with keeping the house safe and this is how you repay us? It looks like you filmed a Beastie Boys video in here! All we can say is how deeply disappointed we are in you. You've always been such a well-behaved beverage. Sure you hung out with the weird flavored nerdy kids every once and awhile, but overall you got good marks. Lately you've been getting mixed up with an unsavory crowd like that Johnny Coconut kid. I don't like the cut of his jib. Don't argue with me! I don't care if it's the only jib he's got! That kid is bad news. Just look what he's done to our home and more importantly our precious aloe juice! He's tainted it! It no longer tastes wonderful and sweet. It doesn't even taste like chalky coconut water. How on Earth did you two get all mixed together and end up tasting like some sort of cereal milk? Have you been drinking? Please tell me you're not on the pot! The fun has even been taken out of the chunks. I don't believe this. We're you supposed to be babysitting the neighbor's kids, Peach and Kiwi? Where have they gotten off to, because I sure don't taste them in here!
- Country
- Taiwan
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/29/2011
Jayone Aloe Pulp Juice Pomegranate
It's been a long time since I've had an aloe drink. It’s not that I have been avoiding them. I just haven't been able to find any that we haven't already reviewed. With a cupboard full of drinks to review, it's kind of hard to justify buying a drink for pleasure. Needless to say, I was excited when I found this bottle at a local Asian market.
First thing, there are barely any chunks of aloe in this. That is my favorite part of aloe drinks so this is already off to a bad start. You know how honey makes some root beers really good? Well it ruins this drink. Even though it's one of the last ingredients on the list, it somehow manages to ruin the delicious taste of pomegranate in this.
If I were to protest outside of the Jayone factory, my sign would say, "Less honey, more chunks!"
- Website
- http://www.jayone.com/
- Country
- Korea
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Juice
- Categories
- Aloe Vera
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/30/2012
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Aloevine Grape
Look, I'm a fan of aloe vera drinks. I was a fan of Orbitz when that came out and this is like a more socially acceptable, adult Orbitz. This is one of the most sweet aloe drinks I've ever had, but I'm actually excited that it comes in a small container because prior to this, I've only seen them in giant 40+ ounce containers. That's fine, but it takes me days to drink, which is also fine. Typically, this stuff is cheap, too, like ~$1.50 for the small ones, and ~$3 - $4 for the "honkin'" ones.
Is grape good? Yeah, it's alright. It's, as stated, mondo sweet and very close to a concord grape. You can even think that the aloe chunks are actual bits of grape, but they're not.
All in all, try it. Kids might think it's cool because it's got "stuff" in it. Aloe is good for the skin so it's that whole "don't tell kids that it's good for them or they won't eat/drink it" garbage the media is pushing on us, which I could not disagree with more.
- Website
- http://www.saluttiflorida.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Fructose
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/20/2010
