Chunky Drinks (118 reviews)
Quinoa Gold Caffeine-Free Energy Mango Passion
When I saw this intriguing beverage I was pre-warned that this was "completely gross" by a friend who had already been roped into trying it. I was feeling adventurous (and I thought it couldn't be nearly as bad as he said it was), so I decided to give it a chance. Oh how I wish I hadn't. It was extremely bland. The quinoa "supergrain" gives the nearly flavorless beverage the consistency of a grits milkshake. I'm usually a fan of pulp and other floaty things in drinks, but this was just too much. I couldn't even finish a third of the bottle. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone as an everyday drink, but if you're drinking it for the health benefits, I say good luck to you.
- Website
- http://www.quinoagold.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Agave Nectar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2010
- Comments
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DeDe Basil Seed with Honey
First of all, look at the large image of this. The flavor tells it all. Basil seeds. This didn't taste like what you would think and all I can use to describe it is if you took a banana Laffy Taffy and rolled it around in birdseed for texture. You know what I hate? Banana Laffy Taffy. If anyone has a good gag reflex and loved banana Laffy Taffy, this could potentially be the drink for you. Otherwise I might advise you stay clear.
This trip to the Asian market is slowly ending up in a bust. I've got to go back, but I might be less adventurous next time.
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Other/Weird, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/29/2010
- Comments
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Caravelle Basil Seed with Honey
"That tastes like boring cereal!" That was our friend Dan's first response to trying this. He was totally right, but that's not all it tastes like. It's like someone got out their old pestle and mortar and ground up a handful of banana Runts into a fine powder. Then they used the self same tool and ground up a big ole box of Kix cereal. They made sure to mix it all together for consistencies sake and then dumped it in to some honey sweetened water. That's it. Oh wait no it's not. How could I have forgotten the hundreds of floating little amoeba looking chunks in the bottle? The manufacturer says they are basil seeds, but the weird slimy coating on them leads me to believe that they are in fact TADPOLE EGGS! Okay, I know they aren't really, but they really do look like them. It looks like tadpole eggs floating in the urine of someone who takes a lot of vitamins. It’s a nice rich yellow color. It's unfortunate for the Caravelle company and myself that I like neither Kix nor bananas.
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Fructose Syrup
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/25/2011
- Comments
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DeDe Longan Drink
It takes a lot for a drink to gross me out. I didn't know what longan was before I bought this, but I assumed it was a fruit. When I picked up the bottle, I noticed that there were big chunks of something floating inside. Then, I noticed on the ingredients list the following: Longan Meat (2.0%). My vegan instinct kicked in at the sight of meat on the label and freaked me out a little. The floating stuff did have a meat look to it as well. Luckily I was right, and longan is a fruit grown on a tree of the same name in South and Southeast Asia.
Upon opening it, I couldn't help but to smell it first. After drinking some nasty stuff over the years, it's instinct. The smell was something I have encountered many times, but never in a drink. If you guessed really dirty socks, then you are correct. How they managed to bottle the smell of dirty socks I will never know. A couple of my housemates said it smelled like dates or prunes to them, but I didn't get that at all.
To prepare for potentially getting a mouthful of dirty socks, I took the first sip over a sink. Luckily (or unfortunately depending on how you feel about drinks making you puke) it tasted better than it smelled to me. The taste can be summed up in two words: liquid raisins. I don't hate raisins, but I don't particularly love them either. The idea of a raisin flavored drink is pretty disgusting to me. After this revelation, I tried taking another sip and it was too gross. I don't want liquid raisins.
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 2/23/2011
- Comments
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Alo Coco Exposed Mangosteen + Mango
This could not be a more disgusting drink. I mean it. This is hardly drinkable. I took one sip and essentially signed off on the whole thing. I love aloe. This has so much chunk in it that you think that you're drinking something else. It's downright thick. Second, it's got coconut water in it which I am not the largest fan of, but I thought that since it's got fruits in there, both prefixed with "mango" ironically, it might be alright. Nope. It stood out like a sore thumb. I can taste the fruit but it's so masked by chunks and coconut that you'd be better off just not adding flavor, or more flavor. This drink is a Frankenstein of all things bad and no, I'm not using that phrase because it's a week away from Halloween.
- Website
- http://www.alodrink.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/26/2011
- Comments
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Alo Coco Exposed Wheatgrass
Nope. I went into this thinking it was going to be gross and hoping to be wrong and I was right. Story time? You've got it.
There was once a bar that Jay DJ'd at and it was pretty great. They sold everything and also served food and drink. You could go in there, buy a nice meal and the chair you sat in to eat it. Tables, chairs, toys, odds and ends, and more; everything was for sale. It was cool. Jay and I were there for a night he was playing and he took a break and they offered wheatgrass so we split a shot of it. It wasn't bad. We thought it was going to be gross, but it just tastes like the smell of freshly cut grass. A little sweet but very...fresh. Very green. It's got some immense amount of vitamins and minerals equivalent to multiple servings of vegetables.
This is just a strange, smooth, chunky texture, like if you watered down your morning oatmeal and drank it, except your oatmeal smelled like if you poured the dust from a box of Cheerios into a cup rather than actual cereal.
This is bad. I have said it before and I'll say it again. How does stuff like this make it to market?
- Website
- http://www.alodrink.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/6/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Kato Apple and Lemon
I enjoy chunks in my drinks. I like pulp in my orange juice, I like aloe vera drinks and for these reasons I was excited to try this. What's in it? Coconut jelly. They're gummy, too, so you have to chew it. You can swallow them whole, but I like the texture. Also, apple and lemon? Sign me up. This drink did have a little...bite(?) that you get from artificial flavors sometimes. Especially with Asian juice drinks, I feel that I get this strange tangy taste. This, unfortunately, kills my review.
I don't know why, but I think kids will like it. Kids are more adventurous than adults.
I've got more coconut themed drinks on the way thanks to a newfound Asian market.
- Website
- http://taveephol.com/
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/24/2010
- Comments
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Paradise Mango Bits
This is not nearly as good as I had expected it to be. The mango flavor somehow isn't very strong. It's actually pretty acidic. It seems to be on the verge of having that post vomit burn that everyone hates in their throat. The bits of mango are nice though. They are bigger than expected. It also comes in one of those cans that have the heavy bottom. Those have always annoyed me for some unknown reason.
- Website
- http://www.profoodcorp.com/
- Country
- Philippines
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/25/2010
- Comments
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Coco Loto Coconut
I did not have the stomach for this as soon as I opened it. I knew I wasn't going to like it. Was it psychosomatic? Possibly. Was it still kind of gross? Yeah, dude. I do not hate nada de coco. This is truth. I like coconut. I like coconut shavings. I like Mounds and Almond Joy. I do not like coconut juice or coconut water. Why? It's not terribly good, that's why.
I am actually pleased to say that this is my last "strange" drink and I am even more proud to say that this will be my last "strange" drink for a while. I had them all at work and every day I had to come in, drink something potentially gross, and write about it. At home is where the gems are.
Here is how I will sell it, not make it sound bad and undrinkable, because, let it be known, it was not undrinkable. If you like any of the new Vita Coco drinks and don't mind jelly coconut, this is perfect. That's not a far stretch as it's harder for me to get past the flavor than the foreign jellies.
Because I didn't drink the whole thing and because I barely made a dent in it would normally produce the rating of a 1, but I simply wasn't in the mood and don't like it. It's like ordering a meal only to find out that it's got something you hate in it and then having a sour taste in your mouth.
Once again, to reiterate, if you like coconut water, you would probably like this and I urge you to get a bottle. This company, Coco Loto can be found in Hispanic grocery stores and I actually found this in an Asian market. The company Mira also makes this same drink. It is gaining in popularity and you should see what people are talking about.
- Website
- http://www.cocoloto.com/
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/8/2010
- Comments
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Mogu Mogu Strawberry
This was strange. I have personally grown tired of the stingy flavor of these drinks. It doesn't taste bad, per-se, but it's not anything that I would drink out of the context of a mandatory review.
As for the taste, it's got a real strawberry taste. For that I give the fellas and ladies over at Mogu Mogu credit. They use actual strawberry juice in this drink. I saved this one for last and now I wish that I hadn't put so much hope in you, little drink.
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Fructose
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/1/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment