Chunky Drinks (118 reviews)
Mamma Chia Vitality Beverage Cherry Lime
Let me tell you the tale of Chia Steve. His cousin Joe is the founder of the Chia Pet empire. The fortune that he amassed during the late 70's an the 80's was enormous. We're talking Scrooge McDuck money here, like swimming pools full of money-money. You're probably thinking "Well good for him. He had a great idea and he ran with it and it paid off." Chia Steve would break your thumbs if he heard you say that. Steve was, and I guess still is, a botanist. Early in his career he came across the salvia hispanica (chia plant for you non-scientists out there). He became obsessed with how easily the seeds germinated and it was his life goal to discover all of this plants secrets. He spent so much time with the chia plants that the seeds would often get lodged in his unruly beard. It was at Thanksgiving 1976 when Steve went to his family dinner. He had been up all night with his plants and had yet to sleep. He didn't have much time so he just jumped in the shower to rinse off. Steve didn't realize that there were a whole mess of seeds in his beard and by the time dinner rolled around they had begun to sprout on his face. The entire family, including Steve, had a good laugh about it. He gave everyone a quick lesson on the plant and then ate his weight in mashed potatoes and stuffing. Steve had no idea that Joe was even paying attention until six months later when Chia Pets hit the market. Joe wouldn't even return Steve's calls and the infamous "Chia Court" battles ensued. It really broke poor Steve's mind grapes and he became a bit of a shut in.
A few year ago his sister finally got him to open his door to her. She came over weekly to drop off food, and clean up the place a bit. Once she got grossed out because she thought thousands of tiny spores had sprouted in one of Steve's juice glasses. It took quite a while for him to convince her that they weren't spores and were in fact chia seeds. He had been adding them to his morning juice for years for their health benefits. That was the moment that turned Steve's life around. His sister convinced him to market this juice. He was reluctant at first until she convinced him they would give cousin Joe a run for his money. Thus Mamma Chia was born.
Their flagship flavor was the cherry lime. It's weird because in a world obsessed with mojitos whenever you taste lime you expect the cool crispness of mint to follow. That is not the case with this beverage. Instead you are met with the tartness of cherry juice. It's not a combination of juices that I could drink a lot of, but the seeds really work with it. They are coated with some sort of gelatinous casing that makes them go down smooth. It's almost frothy feeling. The taste of the lime and the cherry mixed in with the entertainment of the coated seeds make this a tasty and interesting beverage. Here's to hoping that Chia Steve will soon be diving into Olympic swimming pools full of gold doubloons.
ps. Everything stated above with the exception of how awesome the drink tastes is a complete fallacy. Sincerely, Known Liar Jason.
- Website
- http://www.mammachia.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Agave
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/22/2011
- Comments
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Wonderfarm Aloe Vera Juice Drink Melon
For years I've trudged across this planet in search of a holy grail of sorts. No not Ecto Cooler (well I have been looking for it, but I can buy expired stuff on eBay), what I speak of is the elusive cantaloupe juice. Why can't I find it? I'm beginning to thin that it just doesn't exist which is ridiculous because cantaloupes are super juicy and messy to eat. Someone needs to harness that power so I can enjoy a nice tall glass of it.
On my last trip to Toronto I found this in an Asian market and I briefly thought my arduous trip had come to an end. That full melon sure looks like cantaloupe, but on closer inspection the slice is green and very obviously honeydew. Drats. I have nothing against honeydew, but you have to admit it's doesn't come close to touching cantaloupe. That being said this is one heck of a drink. Even though the ingredients list it as "melon flavor" I sure thought it was actual honeydew juice. It taste exactly like biting into an extremely ripe melon that has been soaking in sugar water. The aloe chunks in it are great. It's easy to forget that they are aloe and not melon pulp. Oh man cantaloupe juice with pulp in it would be a dream come true. Until someone gets up the guts to make the worlds best juice looks like I'll have to settle for these little cans of awesome.
- Website
- http://www.wonderfarmonline.com/
- Country
- China
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/17/2011
- Comments
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Frubob Natural Fruit Float Pineapple
If I didn't know any better I would have gathered from this bottle that Frubob was a company that made knock off Pez and then tried their hand at the beverage game. Look at that picture. It looks like little Pez with pineapple stalks coming out of the top. Lucky for everyone involved that is not the case. This does not taste like a gross candy beverage, and they needn't worry about receiving a cease and desist letter from a classic candy company.
This is in fact a mixture of pineapple and apple juice, with no sugar added. To be honest if they had added sugar it would have been so sweet that it was undrinkable. The best part of this is the chunks of pineapple in it. They are the size of the chunks in most aloe drinks, but with a slightly different texture. It gives the juice a more natural flavor, and feel. I know what you're thinking, and you don't have to worry. This does not cross the line into vomit pineapple flavoring. It's sweet and perfect.
- Website
- http://www.frubobusa.com/
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/28/2011
- Comments
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Alo Coco Exposed Mangosteen + Mango
This could not be a more disgusting drink. I mean it. This is hardly drinkable. I took one sip and essentially signed off on the whole thing. I love aloe. This has so much chunk in it that you think that you're drinking something else. It's downright thick. Second, it's got coconut water in it which I am not the largest fan of, but I thought that since it's got fruits in there, both prefixed with "mango" ironically, it might be alright. Nope. It stood out like a sore thumb. I can taste the fruit but it's so masked by chunks and coconut that you'd be better off just not adding flavor, or more flavor. This drink is a Frankenstein of all things bad and no, I'm not using that phrase because it's a week away from Halloween.
- Website
- http://www.alodrink.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/26/2011
- Comments
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Paldo Aloe Mango
It's been awhile since I've had an aloe drink. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I started drinking this bottle of Paldo. No matter what flavor they are they all have such a specific underlying flavor. It's almost a white grape flavor, but it's slightly crisper. So this tastes like a crisp white grape and mango hybrid. If it was a juice it would be great on it's own, but when you add the aloe chunks into the mix things get even better. Paldo uses smaller chunks than other companies, but they make up for it in flavor.
- Website
- http://paldofood.com/
- Country
- Korea
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/15/2011
- Comments
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OKF Aloe Vera King Strawberry Taste
Grandpa was the king of cookies. Whenever we'd go to visit he had a smorgasbord of confectioneries that he would sneak us when no one was looking. Grandma on the other hand loved her hard candies. Her assortment would change, but there would always be the strawberry candy in the mix. You know the ones whose wrappers are printed to look like the fruit. As soon as I tasted this drink it made me think about those candies. They were never my favorite, of course they couldn't compete with grandpa's cookies, but I never turned one down. I feel the same way about this drink. It's not my favorite aloe drink, but if it was offered to me I would always happily take it. It has average sized aloe chunks in it, which almost come off as bits of berries. It may not be the best, but it's a nice walk down memory lane. Drink one and think of your grandmother.
- Website
- http://www.okfcorp.co.kr/
- Country
- Korea
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/28/2011
- Comments
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Aloe Water Original
My girlfriend bought this bread from a local, organic bakery. They are known for their hand crafted, unique, flavorful breads. She bought a loaf of apple cider bread. All day I wanted that bread but we had a million things to do. Next day? Half of the day was filled with stuff to do and finally, in the late evening, we had our chance. I got a knife out and cut a nice slice of bread for each of us and sat down to watch "Jon Benjamin Has A Van" because it's wonderfully hilarious. Do you want to know what wasn't hilarious? How simply awful this bread was. Aside from it having no flavor, the sheer "whole wheat" of it all left a sandy, unwanted aftertaste.
Thinking that we, perhaps, got a dull slice, I brought it to work where I cut another piece for myself. Just as bad. Thank God I had this drink to wash it down. It's very sweet and today I needed it because I couldn't deal with the feeling of someone chewing flavorless, whole wheat bread and spitting it into my mouth like some sort of baby bird. Good sized chunks and totally natural ingredients are the key to a good aloe. I actually like this better than some of the flavored aloe that I have had from these guys.
So there is still half a loaf of bread and it's on the fast track to staying half a loaf of bread with mold on it really soon. Don't mess with Texas and don't mess with bread.
- Website
- http://naturalaloewater.com
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/16/2011
- Comments
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Fruit 2 Day Morning Triple Berry Sunshine
It's been a long day here at the juicery. Jerry called in sick, so I had to work a double. I told him that milk was two weeks expired, but he wouldn't listen and chugged the carton. Now he's laying in a pile of vom on his bathroom floor and I'm stuck at work. At least the boss just told me that I could leave as soon as I get through this batch for Fruit 2 Day. I wonder what would happen if I only blended the fruit for a quarter of the time that we're supposed to. I'm sure no one will be able to tell the difference, and it would get me out of here like two hours earlier than I expected.
**Cut to six hours later**
Okay, let's see here.
Apples? Check.
Grapes? Check.
Bananas? Check.
Strawberries? Check.
Raspberries? Check.
Blueberries? Check.
Pears? Check.
Cherries? Check.
Looks like I got through all of the fruit that is supposed to get mixed together for this juice. I'll just check the consistency quick and then I'm home free. Fudge. This is really chunky. I mean really, really chunky. Some of the fruit was soft enough and was liquefied, but the strawberries and a few of the others are still in like quarter inch chunks. I already told Sharon that I was going to be home early and dinner is waiting. Ugh. What to do? What to do? I guess I'll taste it and see if it will be acceptable. Well it tastes awesomely fruity. It's definitely way more berry than any of the other fruits that are involved and I for one applaud them for that. The chunks are actually kind of nice. It makes this stand out amongst other juices. It's a bit chalky because of the whey protein, but that's not my fault. You know what this is actually super awesome. I think Fruit 2 Day owes me a thank you for making their product awesome. I'm going to let this slide. Let me fill out the completion slip and Sharon here I come. Oh it actually says on here to only blend it 1/4 of the normal time. Apparently my laziness is the way things were supposed to be. No great reward for me.
- Website
- http://www.fruit2day.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/8/2011
- Comments
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Alo Enliven 12 Fruits & Vegetables
I'm not a fan of V8 vegetable juice. I've tried it several times over the past 20 years and it never tasted good to me. When I saw this on the shelf at the co-op, that's what I instantly thought of. But then I remembered how delicious V8 Splash is. Plus, Alo has never failed us in the past so this couldn't be that bad, could it?
First, lets look at the list of fruits and vegetables that are in here:
- Broccoli
- Cabbage
- Celery
- Spinach
- Passion Fruit
- Carrot
- Grape
- Pineapple
- Lemon
- Apple
- Orange
- Strawberry
So the question of the hour is, does it taste like soup? Indeed it does! It's like drinking a bottle of vegetable noodle soup, with the aloe chunks acting as the alphabet pasta. While it's not something I see myself drinking on a daily basis, it's actually not bad at all. If I was in the mood for soup on a hot day, I could totally see this being amazing. There's no distinct fruit or vegetable flavors to it. It's just a jumble of all the flavors. With the addition of the aloe, fruit, and cane sugar, it's slightly sweet but allows the flavors of the soup... I mean vegetable juice to stand out.
- Website
- http://www.alodrink.com/
- Country
- Taiwan
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 8/7/2011
- Comments
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Mamma Chia Vitality Beverage Blackberry Hibiscus
Yesterday we did this video review for Mamma Chia. That's right it has the same seeds in it that are in Chia Pets. With any luck I will grow a plant beard where my normal one is now.
It looks like it would be a pretty rough drink as there seem to be approximately 50 million seeds in each bottle, but they are covered in some sort of coating that makes them go down smooth. They actually give the impression of the drink being really frothy.
As far as flavor goes, it's pretty great. It has a very strong blackberry flavor. Actually the seeds kind of feel like someone systematically separated all of the "balls" from a berry.
- Website
- http://www.mammachia.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Agave
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/27/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment