Chunky (166 reviews)

Orbitz Blueberry Melon Strawberry

Orbitz Blueberry Melon Strawberry

There are three out of print beverages that are the holy grail to me. They are Crystal Pepsi, Ecto Cooler and Orbitz. Seeing as I am a nerd I refer to them as the three pieces of the Tri-Force. I paid $14 on this bottle of Orbitz and I don't regret it a bit. Clearly Canadian stopped making this drink in 1996, so this is at least 15 years old. We expected vomit, but it actually wasn't too bad. I used to drink cases of this stuff when it was first discontinued. A store by me blew them out at a quarter a piece. You can't beat that.

Check out this video review we did of this mystical beverage. Due to some weird file conversion the video looks like we shot it in the year this drink was put on the market with a huge VHS video camera.

Website
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbitz_%28soft_drink%29
Country
Canada
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Chunky, Other/Weird
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 11th, 2011
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Zpirit Infuzion Peach & Basil

Zpirit Infuzion Peach & Basil

Is there anything more yuppyish than a juice bar? I’m sure there is (perhaps a wine bar) but it’s pretty high on the list. The thing is that I love them. They are like a dream to me. I don’t venture into one very often, but that is solely due to the cost, and I’m poor. Juice bars may be the only yuppie thing that I actually enjoy, but oh how I enjoy it.

At the juice bar that I occasionally visit along with their dizzying array of press made juices they also have a giant dispenser of water that is infused with a variety of things. Sometimes it’s fruit and sometimes it’s spices. My favorite times are when they have water infused with basil to sip on as you wait for your juice to be made. That’s right, basil isn’t just for Italian cooking anymore, and when you let it soak in water the water tastes incredible. It’s not something you would chug on, but it’s one fine sipping beverage.

When I saw this on a recent trip to Toronto I absolutely needed it. I forwent food and spent what was left of my Canadian money on this drink, and I made a wise decision. This is fantastic. It’s simply water that had peaches and basil soaking in it (there are actually some peach chunks floating in the bottle). There is also some sweetener added to it, which I don’t think is necessary, but humans like their sweetness. The cane sugar isn’t so much of a problem as the stevia is. When you infuse water the flavor is generally pretty light, whereas stevia is a fairly strong flavor. In here it’s pretty much kept in check, but it still distracts from the natural flavor of the peach and basil. My advice is ditch the sweetener and let the actual flavors work their magic. I’m excited to try the other flavors on future trips up north.

Website
http://zpirit.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 5th, 2014
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Zpirit Infuzion Spiced Pear & Vanilla

Zpirit Infuzion Spiced Pear & Vanilla

There are chunky drinks and then there is this. Take a good, hard look at that picture that I took. There are four, half inch chunks of pear in this drink. Cut up and thrown right in. It's a good drink, too. Very light. It tastes like somewhat spiced pear. The flavor of a pear isn't really prominent. As they said, it's an infusion. There is a nice, smooth vanilla taste. Since it's an infusion, the "spice" of the spiced pear isn't as strong as you might think. It's tough to accept that it's a spiced fruit drink that is restricted by the fact that it's an infusion rather than, say, and elixir. I do enjoy this even if I do despise pears. I would drink it again but given the opportunity, I would take the stronger one because this is only a teaser for what possibly could be.

Website
http://zpirit.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 27th, 2015
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Zpirit Infuzion Mandarin & Mint

Zpirit Infuzion Mandarin & Mint

I don’t know if there will ever be a time where the combination of fruit and mint doesn’t throw me for a loop. No matter what my first thought is always, “Wait, am I chewing gum and I forgot?” Luckily with Zpirit, the gum taste isn’t really there. The initial thought was, but that was just because I wasn’t paying attention to what I was drinking and thought I had grabbed the pear version, which does not contain mint. This is actually one of the better fruit/mint combinations that I have come across. Neither flavor is very strong, due to it being infused water and not “flavored.” There is no syrup being mixed into this drink, mandarin oranges and mint were simply allowed to soak in the water so some of their flavor was transferred. There are even a couple of slices of orange sitting in the bottom of the bottle.

My only real complaint about these beverages is that you can taste the stevia more than I would prefer to. I know they are mixing it with the cane sugar to keep the calories down, but I say if you’re going for infused water, leave the sweetener out of the equation completely. No one will really miss it. If they did then this drink isn’t for them anyway.

Website
http://zpirit.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 22nd, 2015
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Cici Jelly Juice Strawberry

Cici Jelly Juice Strawberry

Woah jelly. Get it? Like "Woah Nelly," the debut album from Nelly Furtado. Get it? Hilarious. I'm hilarious. I also write all my own jokes. Ladies, seriously, I'm a gem.

This is a strange drink. Do I need to say that? It comes in a bag like a Capri Sun except with a pre-installed straw. Nice of Cici to do so. Thanks, Cici. This drink has nata de coco but it is more like an aloe vera than, say a
Mogu Mogu drink. It's also way less "stingy" than that but, in exchange, way more potent. Almost like a strawberry perfume. Something girls would wear in 4th grade to attract boys, even though 4th grades should spend more time on long division and less time on perfume and boys.

Alas, this is not a great drink. I'm no yuppie, but I find this drink uncivilized. Kids though? Kids would/should/do (probably) love this stuff. You can too for the ultra low price of around 70 cents. They have a lot of different flavors, too, and multipacks with a couple in it. This of them like juice-boxes, in bags, with chunks, built in straws, and less good.

Website
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10270133646
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Jelly, Juice
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 16th, 2010
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Cici Jelly Juice Pineapple

Cici Jelly Juice Pineapple

Mike wasn't really into the Cici drink he had, but I think this is fun. It's not something that I want a lot, but it's a nice treat. It has both jello and nata de coco in it. It's actually more of a dessert than a beverage. It's not really very fluid. It's more of a liquid jello with nata de coco in it. It has a pineapple taste, but it doesn't taste exactly like a pineapple. That's my only real complaint.

Website
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10270133646
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Jelly, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 23rd, 2010
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Cici Jelly Juice Mango

Cici Jelly Juice Mango

Here we go with another one of these Cici drinks. It's basically a candied mango flavored Capri Sun that has nata de coco and jelly thrown into it. I thought the first one was kind of fun to drink, but by the time I got to this one, the novelty had worn off. I like stuff in my drinks, but the consistency of the jelly just seems wrong. I would have been fine with it just being the nata de coco. It's a drink for kids. They would love this. I bet they would be the envy of the lunchroom if they brought one of these in. They could easily trade it for a half dozen bologna sandwiches.

Website
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10270133646
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Jelly, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 5th, 2011
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Cici Jelly Juice Lychee

Cici Jelly Juice Lychee

You know how you have a grandma? I love my gramma. She makes the best cookies. It's a shame they had to juice her to make this drink. As you know, I am foolin' 'round here. Lychee is a strange fruit to me. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I loathe it. It's a fruity, nutty flavor that is very strong. Combined with the nata de coco and the fact that this juice is in a pouch, it had to be done.

It is actually one of the better lychee drinks I've had and if you like lychee, you should try it. There are about 1,000,000 chunks per sip (cps) so if you aren't a fan or you don't think you can look past them, perhaps the Maaza lychee juice is more your speed. Think of this drink as a poorly pureed, homemade lychee juice.

Honestly, for $0.60, you can't really lose, and there are more that I will probably try in the upcoming months. As if it needs to be said, I got this at an Asian market.

Website
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10270133646
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Jelly, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 18th, 2011
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Wonderfarm Aloe Vera Juice Drink Melon

Wonderfarm Aloe Vera Juice Drink Melon

For years I've trudged across this planet in search of a holy grail of sorts. No not Ecto Cooler (well I have been looking for it, but I can buy expired stuff on eBay), what I speak of is the elusive cantaloupe juice. Why can't I find it? I'm beginning to thin that it just doesn't exist which is ridiculous because cantaloupes are super juicy and messy to eat. Someone needs to harness that power so I can enjoy a nice tall glass of it.

On my last trip to Toronto I found this in an Asian market and I briefly thought my arduous trip had come to an end. That full melon sure looks like cantaloupe, but on closer inspection the slice is green and very obviously honeydew. Drats. I have nothing against honeydew, but you have to admit it's doesn't come close to touching cantaloupe. That being said this is one heck of a drink. Even though the ingredients list it as "melon flavor" I sure thought it was actual honeydew juice. It taste exactly like biting into an extremely ripe melon that has been soaking in sugar water. The aloe chunks in it are great. It's easy to forget that they are aloe and not melon pulp. Oh man cantaloupe juice with pulp in it would be a dream come true. Until someone gets up the guts to make the worlds best juice looks like I'll have to settle for these little cans of awesome.

Website
http://www.wonderfarmonline.com/
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 17th, 2011
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Cici Aloe Jelly Drink

Cici Aloe Jelly Drink

I do believe that giving this to an expecting person would very likely result in your shoes and shirt being covered in vomit. It looks like it should be a foreign take on the juice box, which it essentially is. The thing is that not only does this have chunks of aloe in it, but it also has bits of nata de coco. I imagine someone taking a big squeeze of it into their mouth, expecting juice city, and then they are greeted with a mouthful of slime and chunks. It's a chunk overload and I absolutely love it. I'm actually skeptical to call this a drink because there are so many chunks that it's more like a semi-solid.

Let me break it down this way. This is basically a blood bag filled with apple juice with aloe sludge in it that is peppered with bits of nata de coco. It tastes exactly like someone mixed some plain flavored aloe juice with some apple juice. This is so much better than it should be.

Website
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10270133646
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky, Jelly
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 12th, 2012
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