Coconut (41 reviews)
Hansen's Smoothie Pineapple Coconut
Hey. You know when you throw up and then try to cover up the taste with old popcorn? You do? Then number 1; I'm sorry. Number 2; you don't need to drink this.
For a company that has the best pop I've ever drunk, this stuff belongs in the filth can.
Here's how it went down...
I drank it and liked it while it was in my mouth. As soon as I swallowed it, I got a strange barf taste and I thought it might be the metal from the can so I poured it into a glass. I took another drink and it was worse. Afterwards I felt sick because you always are reminded of throwing up when your mouth tastes like, or recently tasted like, up-chuck.
I made this site with my bare hands and I wish I had created a 0 rating because this would get it.
Hansen's, I am happy that I reviewed this drink before your Cherry Vanilla Creme pop because you can only go up from here.
- Website
- http://www.hansens.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/17/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Coco Exposed Mangosteen + Mango
This could not be a more disgusting drink. I mean it. This is hardly drinkable. I took one sip and essentially signed off on the whole thing. I love aloe. This has so much chunk in it that you think that you're drinking something else. It's downright thick. Second, it's got coconut water in it which I am not the largest fan of, but I thought that since it's got fruits in there, both prefixed with "mango" ironically, it might be alright. Nope. It stood out like a sore thumb. I can taste the fruit but it's so masked by chunks and coconut that you'd be better off just not adding flavor, or more flavor. This drink is a Frankenstein of all things bad and no, I'm not using that phrase because it's a week away from Halloween.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/26/2011
Coco Exposed Pure Coconut Water Wheatgrass
Nope. I went into this thinking it was going to be gross and hoping to be wrong and I was right. Story time? You've got it.
There was once a bar that Jay DJ'd at and it was pretty great. They sold everything and also served food and drink. You could go in there, buy a nice meal and the chair you sat in to eat it. Tables, chairs, toys, odds and ends, and more; everything was for sale. It was cool. Jay and I were there for a night he was playing and he took a break and they offered wheatgrass so we split a shot of it. It wasn't bad. We thought it was going to be gross, but it just tastes like the smell of freshly cut grass. A little sweet but very...fresh. Very green. It's got some immense amount of vitamins and minerals equivalent to multiple servings of vegetables.
This is just a strange, smooth, chunky texture, like if you watered down your morning oatmeal and drank it, except your oatmeal smelled like if you poured the dust from a box of Cheerios into a cup rather than actual cereal.
This is bad. I have said it before and I'll say it again. How does stuff like this make it to market?
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/6/2012
Coco Exposed Pure Coconut Water Peach + Kiwi
Alo what have you done! Your mother and I leave you home alone for two hours, entrusting you with keeping the house safe and this is how you repay us? It looks like you filmed a Beastie Boys video in here! All we can say is how deeply disappointed we are in you. You've always been such a well-behaved beverage. Sure you hung out with the weird flavored nerdy kids every once and awhile, but overall you got good marks. Lately you've been getting mixed up with an unsavory crowd like that Johnny Coconut kid. I don't like the cut of his jib. Don't argue with me! I don't care if it's the only jib he's got! That kid is bad news. Just look what he's done to our home and more importantly our precious aloe juice! He's tainted it! It no longer tastes wonderful and sweet. It doesn't even taste like chalky coconut water. How on Earth did you two get all mixed together and end up tasting like some sort of cereal milk? Have you been drinking? Please tell me you're not on the pot! The fun has even been taken out of the chunks. I don't believe this. We're you supposed to be babysitting the neighbor's kids, Peach and Kiwi? Where have they gotten off to, because I sure don't taste them in here!
- Country
- Taiwan
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Aloe Vera, Chunky Drinks, Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/29/2011
O.N.E. Active Grape Berry
It’s Groundhog Day. You’ve run into Ned Ryerson more times than you can even remember. The same goes for that ungrateful brat who keeps falling out of the tree. The perpetual winter has got you down, so very down. You’ve learned piano like a pro. You’ve creepily stalked the girl you like to find out every last detail about her, in order to finally win her over. You’ve done everything you could think of, but you’re still in a rut. You blame the constant grey skies that plague your eternal life. To try to combat this you start taking vitamins and working out. It actually works. You start to feel better about yourself and life in general. You’re beginning to have a more positive out look because you’re no longer a lazy slob. It feels great to be in good shape. The only problem is that you get so darn thirsty when you work out and the water in this town just doesn’t cut it. You read that coconut water is good for replenishing electrolytes. The local health store only carries one brand and one flavor. Oddly enough it’s called O.N.E. The flavor that you are stuck forever is grape berry. At first you don’t really like it. It has a strange harshness to it that is not quite the same harshness as grape juice. The more you drink the more you become accustomed to it. You realize that it tastes like watered down grape juice with a tinge of berry thrown in. It shouldn’t be good at all, but it is and it’s refreshing. After a couple of sips you no longer even notice the flavor of the coconut water. All you taste is watered down grape juice with a slight stevia aftertaste. It’s not great, but it will do the job. It’s too bad that you’ll never be able to get the shop to order other flavors for you because the day of their arrival will never come.
If you would like one of the greatest comedic movies of our time to be turned into a tragedy for you read this article. The folks at What Culture use science to determine that Bill Murray’s character was stuck in the same day for 33 years and 358 days. As we learn in the movie he has tried to kill himself several times. Who could blame him?
- Website
- http://www.onedrinks.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Leaf Extract
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/2/2012
Coco Rico Coconut
Jeremy, do you have coconuts for sale? You do? How much are they? Oh that's way too much. Do you have dent and scratch coconuts? You do? Is there anything wrong with them? They're old? Hmm. How old is old? Oh, that is old. You know what? If they smell fine, I'll take them. Can I get a discount since they're old? Awesome. Alright, I'll take a couple cases. What am I doing with them? Making pop. Yeah, coconut pop. I figure I'm one of the only ones I can have a nice corner of the market. Yes, I'm sure that better quality coconuts would make a better product. Sweetener? Corn syrup. Look, I've got to conserve money. This economy is garbage. Corn syrup and old coconuts is what my company will start with and as soon as things get better, we'll upgrade to better things.
I have made a sample batch, yes. It tastes a little thick and a little like coconut. The sweetener is a bit off, if I can be honest. I'm hoping people get hooked so when we pull the switch on cane sugar, it's a significant improvement. It's nice to have a constantly improving company and that's why I'm sacrificing quality initially.
Jeremy, thanks. I appreciate your help. I have written you a check for sixteen dollars for eighteen cases of old and damaged coconuts. I will send you some samples when I get them finished up. You don't want any? Alright dude, your loss.
- Website
- http://www.goodo.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/14/2012
Rob's Really Good Organic Coconut
Thirsty Dudes, as a whole, unfortunately do not fancy coconut drinks. I like Mounds bars as much as the next guy. I like coconut shavings on ice cream. I have never handled a raw coconut, but I feel like it's probably not that bad. Let's make a compliment sandwich for this drink.
Good: The added sugar in this drink makes it a more "candied" coconut like you might be used to in candy and sweets.
Bad: It's reminiscent of, and I'm quoting girls in the office here, watered down pina colata and sunscreen.
Good: This is the best coconut drink I've had.
It's more sweet and less...water than the Vita Coco or Zico. If you like coconut water, this might be a nice, sweet treat for you. If you don't like coconut, this still isn't the drink for you.
Now here's the kicker. I can't penalize due to me not liking something. I think that if you liked coconut you would like this. I'm going to give an extra bottle because I know some people will really like it. I don't want to discourage people from getting it.
- Website
- http://www.robsreallygood.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 5/26/2011
Coco Water All Natural Coconut Water + Pineapple
I’ve never been to anywhere in the world that could be considered tropical. The closest I’ve ever come is Disney World in Orlando, Florida. While some may call it the happiest place on earth, I don’t think anyone has ever called tropical. That label is reserved for places like Hawaii and the Bahamas. I have no desire to go to these places because they are very hot, and I don’t like extremely hot weather.
But if I were forced to go to somewhere tropical at gunpoint, I would imagine drinking this there would be very fitting. While I’m not crazy about coconut water, this one is actually pretty good. It tastes really fresh and has a real creamy taste to it. While the summer heat in Buffalo doesn’t compare to the tropics, this is definitely helping me ‘beat the heat’ as they say. My only complaint about this is you can’t really taste the pineapple. This is disappointing to be because pineapple drinks are delicious and I was really looking forward to tasting the combination of coconut and pineapple.
- Website
- http://www.naturalcocowater.com/
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/8/2011
Zico Pure Premium Coconut Water Pina Tropicale
All of my life I have thought of coconuts as the vilest of fruits. I straight up hated it and anything that it was in. I feel like a lot of food, especially desserts were ruined for me. Mounds and Almond Joys? No Thanks!
When coconut water started to become popular I didn't understand it. None of us at Thirsty Dudes were a fan of coconut, so we kind of ignored it existence. Normally we try to give objective reviews to drinks that we know we won't like because of our personal tastes, but with coconut water we didn't think we'd be able to down enough of the bottle to even do that. A while back I got a carton of a fruit enhanced version of it. It tasted like it was curdling. So gross. Now thanks to Zico I know what my problem was. I drank it at room temperature. Coconut water is made to be drank ice cold and when it is it is actually kind of awesome.
Even ice cold it still has a remote chalky taste to it, but nothing terrible. It is crisp and refreshing. The pineapple in this isn't very strong. It's more of a general tropical citrus flavor.
Coconut water will never be one of my favorites, but I can now appreciate it for what it is. Just remember to drink it as cold as possible, or it could be completely gross.
- Website
- http://www.zico.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/25/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Zico Pure Premium Coconut Water Lima Citron
My first time I ever had coconut water was in Toronto. Me and a bunch of friends drove up there for a hardcore show and were walking down Spadina toward 50 Toppings Guy (a 24 hour hot dog vendor that serves veggie dogs and has over 50 toppings to put on them). A big area of Spadina is Asian markets and one of them was selling young coconuts with straws on the street. A bunch of my friends bought one, but I had my mind set on having an orange pop with my two veggie dogs. Being the curious person I am, I tried some and thought it was so gross. I avoided coconut water like the plague after that.
Jump to today, where I just got home from a show. I've had this bottle chilling in the fridge all day, waiting for me to come home. I will admit, the first couple sips brought back unpleasant memories. Once I pushed past those, I began to really enjoy this drink. It's a really smooth coconut taste. I was expecting it to have a strong lime taste, but it is subtler than I expected. I would have never thought lime and coconut would go together. On second thought, I do remember hearing the Harry Nilsson song "Coconut" growing up which has the lyrics "She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up". Music teaches us so much.
- Website
- http://www.zico.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/26/2011
