Coffee (48 reviews)
Taylor's Tonics Cola Azteca
I'm not a fan of most coffee drinks, but I do occasionally enjoy a mocha. I unfortunately did not enjoy the Cafe Azteca. I guess it remotely tastes like mocha, but it is extremely strong and burns a lot. It wasn't what I expected after having the other Taylor's Tonics drinks. At first I thought it might have been my dislike of coffee drinks that was weighing my opinion, but after having some avid coffee drinkers taste it, everyone agreed it was way too strong for its own good. Out of the seven or so people who tasted it, only one really enjoyed it.
- Website
- http://www.taylorstonics.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Simpson Spring Coffee Soda
This smells like dust. I'm not exaggerating, it smells like someone went around the house and dumped a bunch of dust in the bottle. It's really gross.
I had really high hopes for this. I love coffee, and I love soda so I thought this would be awesome. I was so wrong. The smell was actually better than the taste. Monet said this reminded her of instant coffee that has been left out in the sun for a day. To me, it tastes like someone dumped coffee into a bottle of Pepsi.
I tried to give this to my friend Eva after she saw everyone else recoil after drinking it. She refused, but I at least she smelled it. In her words, "It smells bad and like nothing I want to drink."
- Website
- http://www.simpsonspring.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar and/or Dextrose and Fructose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 4/26/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Honest CocoaNova Mocha Cacao
This has been sitting in my fridge waiting for the perfect moment to drink it. It sounded incredible. The Honest company has a history of making amazing drinks, so when I learned that they made a chocolate line I was very interested. I'm not a huge fan of coffee, but I have enjoyed every Mocha that I've ever tried. You know Mocha, hot chocolate with a little kick. I hardly consider it coffee. It's more of a chocolate drink with a little coffee added.
Since today is supposed to be the so-called rapture, I decided it was now or quite literally never. I guess that's not true. If it were the rapture all of the good Christians would be raised up to heaven while my friends and I had some more time left to suffer on Earth. I would celebrate that suffering with a whole mess of drinks. Seeing as it's all a fairy tale anyways I will drink this mocha cacao in celebration of me being intelligent enough to realize that angels aren't going to come carry people away today.....or ever.
On first smell this has a weird scent. Almost like the chocolate milk that is left in the bowl after you eat some Coco Puffs, but stronger. I took a sip, and this was not what I was expecting at all. It was as if they melted down baking chocolate, watered it down and added two shots of black coffee. First you're hit by the watery baking chocolate taste. It's bitter, but not the good bitter like when you get some quality dark chocolate. As you hold it in your mouth that flavor stays, but as soon as you swallow and take a breath the coffee sets in. I always find it odd when drinks have distinct waves of flavor. In some juices it's nice, but for this it's not working for me. I would have preferred this all blended into one tight flavor.
I really, really wanted to like this, but to be honest I couldn't make it through half of the bottle. I had expected a richer chocolate taste. If you really like coffee maybe it will be something you really enjoy. I'll pass it off to an angel if I see one today.
- Website
- http://www.honesttea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/21/2011
- Comments
- 2 Comments. Leave a comment.
Havana Cappuccino Mocha
I don't know where I got this. I know why I got it, though. Answer; because it was there. This is not a fantastic representation of mocha cappuccino. I promise to you that if you're looking for a "quality" drink, you won't find it constrained within the glass walls of this bottle. It's terrible fake tasting like they had some chocolate milk, cut it in half, poured bad instant, powder mocha cappuccino into to it, skipped all the "red tape" one would need to put out something legit and pushed it right to market. I probably got this on sale. The same people also make these chocolate milks that just tasted unpure.
Look. I enjoy a nice, sweet garbage drink. Give me a Nesquik in those gargantuan thirty-two ounce bottles and I will use all the strength inside of me to not Gregory House the whole thing. This is half that size and I'm going to probably have no choice but to dump half of that. Strong percentages. Weak drink. I don't know why a company called "North American Beverage" would market a drink called Havana. I do appreciate, slightly, that illustration of the most 80's bottle I've ever seen. It looks like it should be on the wall of a victim’s house in Miami Vice. I felt like I should have been wearing a Panama hat and a Panama Jack shirt that I would have had to scour multiple Salvation Army's to find just to fully appreciate this drink. Since I'm wearing a fifteen-year-old hoodie that is ill fitting, this drink did not deliver.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/23/2011
Archer Farms Coffee Energy Drink Vanilla
Well this isn't good. I do enjoy a nice coffee drink, not to be confused with actual coffee, which I can't stand. Strange right? Welp, what are you going to do? This is very vanilla and, as reported by two separate colleagues, metallic tasting, which is not a strong selling feature unless you are advertising to sell to a tired goat. As for the energy, I don't get any "energy drink" taste. Mostly it just tastes like the vanilla and milk. I also did not get much coffee, which I was hoping for.
I will say that if we were playing darts, you know, Target CEO Gregg W. Steinhafel and I, I would think they were hitting a ton of low, non-counting numbers like three, or eight, because this drink missed the mark. It's missing what I wanted and expected. Now, Gregg might be a fantastic dartsman, but in the game where I asked him to play like this drink was playing, I beat him and looked great doing it. I didn't rub his face in it and I bought him a root beer for being a good sport.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/5/2012
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Royal Mills Iced Cappuccino
I am not a big fan of coffee. On occasions I like really sweet iced coffee drinks. Due to that my lady friend made me try this. I was shocked at how much I liked it. It's super, super sweet, and the coffee flavor isn't too strong. It reminds me of coffee ice cream. If you’re a coffee fiend, this may not be strong enough for you, but it's good for me.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/16/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Bigelow Chai Latte Mocha
I don't really do chai. I don't do coffee. This should not have been something that I bought. That's what I thought before I tried it. Hey, sometimes when you see things that look interesting, you have to just suck it up and try something new.
Since I don't drink chai, I'm not too familiar with how it is supposed to taste or smell. I can tell you that because of this, I think that it smells a bit like bubble gum. Strange? I know. It's not a turn off. It's just not what one would think when reading the flavors. It might be mocha and light, light coffee together with the milk. Whatever. To me, if there were such thing as mocha bubble gum, this would be the smell.
Now on to the taste portion of this competition. It tastes good. It's creamy and doesn't have too much coffee. It's more of an undertone than a prominent flavor. The mocha covers that up nicely. I don't get a lot of tea, if I get any at all.
This company also makes the same drink in a vanilla, as opposed to the mocha that I'm doing now. I bet it's nice, but for my money if I have to get a spiced tea, I'd stick with Thai tea.
- Website
- http://www.bigelowtea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/3/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Pacific Simply Coffee Vanilla Latte
I believe that in high school every group of friends has a restaurant that they hang out in all the time. For a lot of people it's a local diner or a Dennys. For my friends it was a Perkins. We probably spend almost as much time in that restaurant each week as the average person spends at a full time job. We never caused any problems, so the wait staff would let us stay for as long as we wanted. Since we were in high school we had to act like grown ups and intellectuals. What better way to do that then by drinking insane amounts of coffee? Keep in mind that I don't like coffee, but what is a kid to do? Sure I could have ordered a Cherry Coke, but then I would have had to deal with being mocked by my closest friends for the rest of the night. My solution was I would dilute the hell out of my coffee. I would put four creams and eight packets of sugar per mug of steaming coffee. My goal was to just make it taste like sugary milk, with just a hint of coffee flavor. Oh the lengths one will go to in order to avoid a good ribbing from their best friends. This is exactly what the coffee I used to drink would have tasted like if two of the four creamers I used had been vanilla flavored.
- Website
- http://www.pacificfoods.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/13/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Nestle Coffee Crisp
Living on the border of Canada has its advantages. One of them is the awesomeness that is Canadian candy. Seriously, they put the U.S. to shame. When I was in high school/college I knew a ton of people that would take trips up to the Great White North to stock up on confectionery supplies, as well as a lower drinking age and strip clubs. Nowadays there are a ton of convenient stores and gas stations started carrying one of those three.
Even though (for the millionth time) I'm not a big coffee fan, I do enjoy Coffee Crisp. This evening some friends and I went up to Canada to eat at Licks Home Burgers. They seriously have some of the best veggie burgers and onion rings I've ever tasted. We stopped at a corner store to check out the beverage scene up there, and my eyes got pretty huge when I saw this in the cooler. It tastes pretty much like you would expect; chocolate milk with a hint of coffee. It's smooth, but it somehow leaves the impression of the grittiness of the candy bar. Okay it tastes like a liquefied candy bar. Fans of Canadian candy and chocolate milk take note.
- Website
- http://www.nestleusa.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/20/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Pacific Simply Coffee Latte
I seem to be reviewing way more coffee drinks than I expected to. This one’s not too bad. It has tons of milk and tons of sugar. Just what the non-coffee drinker ordered. It tastes like coffee flavored toffees. Latte, that means coffee for kids, right? Is it considered a gateway drink to harder coffees? Are there programs at elementary schools to warn against this? They tell horror stories of kids pushing lattes on their classmates on the playground. Then it's them in coffee shops trying mocha on the weekends with their friends. It then cuts to them working in a cubicle downing obscene amounts of black coffee just to make it through the day. A video like that would steer me away from the caffeinated devil.
- Website
- http://www.pacificfoods.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/28/2011
