Coffee (103 reviews)
Taylor's Tonics Cola Azteca
I'm not a fan of most coffee drinks, but I do occasionally enjoy a mocha. I unfortunately did not enjoy the Cafe Azteca. I guess it remotely tastes like mocha, but it is extremely strong and burns a lot. It wasn't what I expected after having the other Taylor's Tonics drinks. At first I thought it might have been my dislike of coffee drinks that was weighing my opinion, but after having some avid coffee drinkers taste it, everyone agreed it was way too strong for its own good. Out of the seven or so people who tasted it, only one really enjoyed it.
- Website
- http://www.taylorstonics.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Honest CocoaNova Mocha Cacao
This has been sitting in my fridge waiting for the perfect moment to drink it. It sounded incredible. The Honest company has a history of making amazing drinks, so when I learned that they made a chocolate line I was very interested. I'm not a huge fan of coffee, but I have enjoyed every Mocha that I've ever tried. You know Mocha, hot chocolate with a little kick. I hardly consider it coffee. It's more of a chocolate drink with a little coffee added.
Since today is supposed to be the so-called rapture, I decided it was now or quite literally never. I guess that's not true. If it were the rapture all of the good Christians would be raised up to heaven while my friends and I had some more time left to suffer on Earth. I would celebrate that suffering with a whole mess of drinks. Seeing as it's all a fairy tale anyways I will drink this mocha cacao in celebration of me being intelligent enough to realize that angels aren't going to come carry people away today.....or ever.
On first smell this has a weird scent. Almost like the chocolate milk that is left in the bowl after you eat some Coco Puffs, but stronger. I took a sip, and this was not what I was expecting at all. It was as if they melted down baking chocolate, watered it down and added two shots of black coffee. First you're hit by the watery baking chocolate taste. It's bitter, but not the good bitter like when you get some quality dark chocolate. As you hold it in your mouth that flavor stays, but as soon as you swallow and take a breath the coffee sets in. I always find it odd when drinks have distinct waves of flavor. In some juices it's nice, but for this it's not working for me. I would have preferred this all blended into one tight flavor.
I really, really wanted to like this, but to be honest I couldn't make it through half of the bottle. I had expected a richer chocolate taste. If you really like coffee maybe it will be something you really enjoy. I'll pass it off to an angel if I see one today.
- Website
- http://www.honesttea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/21/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Havana Cappuccino Mocha
I don't know where I got this. I know why I got it, though. Answer; because it was there. This is not a fantastic representation of mocha cappuccino. I promise to you that if you're looking for a "quality" drink, you won't find it constrained within the glass walls of this bottle. It's terrible fake tasting like they had some chocolate milk, cut it in half, poured bad instant, powder mocha cappuccino into to it, skipped all the "red tape" one would need to put out something legit and pushed it right to market. I probably got this on sale. The same people also make these chocolate milks that just tasted unpure.
Look. I enjoy a nice, sweet garbage drink. Give me a Nesquik in those gargantuan thirty-two ounce bottles and I will use all the strength inside of me to not Gregory House the whole thing. This is half that size and I'm going to probably have no choice but to dump half of that. Strong percentages. Weak drink. I don't know why a company called "North American Beverage" would market a drink called Havana. I do appreciate, slightly, that illustration of the most 80's bottle I've ever seen. It looks like it should be on the wall of a victim’s house in Miami Vice. I felt like I should have been wearing a Panama hat and a Panama Jack shirt that I would have had to scour multiple Salvation Army's to find just to fully appreciate this drink. Since I'm wearing a fifteen-year-old hoodie that is ill fitting, this drink did not deliver.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/23/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Archer Farms Coffee Energy Drink Vanilla
Well this isn't good. I do enjoy a nice coffee drink, not to be confused with actual coffee, which I can't stand. Strange right? Welp, what are you going to do? This is very vanilla and, as reported by two separate colleagues, metallic tasting, which is not a strong selling feature unless you are advertising to sell to a tired goat. As for the energy, I don't get any "energy drink" taste. Mostly it just tastes like the vanilla and milk. I also did not get much coffee, which I was hoping for.
I will say that if we were playing darts, you know, Target CEO Gregg W. Steinhafel and I, I would think they were hitting a ton of low, non-counting numbers like three, or eight, because this drink missed the mark. It's missing what I wanted and expected. Now, Gregg might be a fantastic dartsman, but in the game where I asked him to play like this drink was playing, I beat him and looked great doing it. I didn't rub his face in it and I bought him a root beer for being a good sport.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/5/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Freeze Black Coffee
My buddy Dave said it best. His review of this drink was, "You can really taste the 11% sugar." This might be some of the sweetest coffee drink I've ever had. Jay, Dave, Editor Dan, and I went to a couple stores and just hung out all day. It would have been the same day we had when we were ten years ago. A couple small markets, clothing stores, the mall, and so on. Bunch of dudes hanging out. Oh, and Chili's. We all love Chili's. We easily co-drank two gallons of unsweetened blackberry tea that day.
Anyhow, we went to a favorite Asian market and did some shopping and this was one of the drinks we got. Dave got one as well as I and he drank his in the car. We spread it all around because we're all very good friends. Everyone's sentiments were all the same. It's too darn sweet. It's got a good iced black tea taste but the quantity of sugar will inevitably put the majority of this drink down the drain, on the parking lot next to you car where you bought it, rudely on some kid's head, on your table because you accidentally knocked it over forgetting there was still so much in there, or anywhere else that isn't down your gullet.
- Website
- http://www.nuboon.com
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/3/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Arizona Joltin' Joe Espresso
Walk into a 7-11. Go towards the back where the Slurpee machine is. Now here is the hard part. Grab a cup and put some soda water in it. Like when you press the small white button next to the Coke or Mug root beer. Then shimmy over to the coffee machine and fill that bad boy up with the oldest, most burnt coffee, right to the brim. Shift back over to the fountain center and put some ice in there to cool it down. Then take a handful of sugar, all of them, artificial or real, who cares? Pay your $0.99 and go to your car. Give it a swirl and take a sip. Promptly make a face that looks like you just ate out of a momma bird's mouth.
I looked far and wide for this drink and now I found it and it unfortunately sucks. It tastes like how I described the scenario above. Gross. Joe DiMaggio, you should arise from the grave and White-Out Your name from this contract.
- Website
- http://drinkarizona.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/9/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Havana Cappuccino Diet Vanilla
The coffee machine at your office has been on the fritz all week, which means that you have had to bring your own caffeinated beverage into work. The thing is that today your alarm didn’t go off for some reason. Luckily your internal clock woke you up, but with only 20 minutes to get to the office. So it was get up, brush your teeth, drag a comb through your hair, put on a suit and you’re out the door. You didn’t even have time to stop at a gas station for the sludge that they deem fit to call coffee. As a result of all of this you have been a wreck all day. You’re sluggish and you can’t concentrate because you haven’t eaten since you grabbed Taco Bell on the way home from work the day before. You’re a mess.
You know it’s not something that any human should do, but you still go into the break room and look for some food to steal out of the communal fridge. Sure, it’s not the most moral thing to do, but the GM is coming in shortly and if she sees you like this, it probably wouldn’t bode well for your career. The fridge is full of Tupperware containers full of moldy leftovers. Doesn’t anyone ever clean this thing out? Things are looking grim. You’re about to give up when you move a container of soup that is dated seven months ago and behind it is this bottle of Havana diet vanilla cappuccino. You find yourself thinking that you should probably rethink your stance on the existence of god as you look around and grab the bottle. You scurry away to your cubicle and crack the seal. After a gulp you think that it isn’t half bad. Sure the milk to coffee ratio seems about even, which is more than you usually like, but it has a nice vanilla flavor to it, so you feel a little fancy. After that each sip gets harder and harder to get down. The taste of the Splenda is getting stronger by the second. Diet coffee; is there anything worse for someone who normally drinks it black? By the time you finished the bottle you’re feeling more normal. You’re stomach has a little something in it, and you’ve got a little caffeine buzz going on. The only downfall is you can taste the Splenda seeping out of your gums, and that is something you never want to experience again. What do you expect from a drink that was abandoned at least seven months ago?
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Splenda
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 1 day ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Royal Mills Iced Cappuccino
I am not a big fan of coffee. On occasions I like really sweet iced coffee drinks. Due to that my lady friend made me try this. I was shocked at how much I liked it. It's super, super sweet, and the coffee flavor isn't too strong. It reminds me of coffee ice cream. If you’re a coffee fiend, this may not be strong enough for you, but it's good for me.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/16/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Bigelow Chai Latte Mocha
I don't really do chai. I don't do coffee. This should not have been something that I bought. That's what I thought before I tried it. Hey, sometimes when you see things that look interesting, you have to just suck it up and try something new.
Since I don't drink chai, I'm not too familiar with how it is supposed to taste or smell. I can tell you that because of this, I think that it smells a bit like bubble gum. Strange? I know. It's not a turn off. It's just not what one would think when reading the flavors. It might be mocha and light, light coffee together with the milk. Whatever. To me, if there were such thing as mocha bubble gum, this would be the smell.
Now on to the taste portion of this competition. It tastes good. It's creamy and doesn't have too much coffee. It's more of an undertone than a prominent flavor. The mocha covers that up nicely. I don't get a lot of tea, if I get any at all.
This company also makes the same drink in a vanilla, as opposed to the mocha that I'm doing now. I bet it's nice, but for my money if I have to get a spiced tea, I'd stick with Thai tea.
- Website
- http://www.bigelowtea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/3/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Pacific Simply Coffee Vanilla Latte
I believe that in high school every group of friends has a restaurant that they hang out in all the time. For a lot of people it's a local diner or a Dennys. For my friends it was a Perkins. We probably spend almost as much time in that restaurant each week as the average person spends at a full time job. We never caused any problems, so the wait staff would let us stay for as long as we wanted. Since we were in high school we had to act like grown ups and intellectuals. What better way to do that then by drinking insane amounts of coffee? Keep in mind that I don't like coffee, but what is a kid to do? Sure I could have ordered a Cherry Coke, but then I would have had to deal with being mocked by my closest friends for the rest of the night. My solution was I would dilute the hell out of my coffee. I would put four creams and eight packets of sugar per mug of steaming coffee. My goal was to just make it taste like sugary milk, with just a hint of coffee flavor. Oh the lengths one will go to in order to avoid a good ribbing from their best friends. This is exactly what the coffee I used to drink would have tasted like if two of the four creamers I used had been vanilla flavored.
- Website
- http://www.pacificfoods.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/13/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
