Coffee (241 reviews)

7 Eleven Go! Yum Chocolate Mocha

7 Eleven Go! Yum Chocolate Mocha

Well this was a pleasant surprise. I dropped my son off at school and his teacher said, "Are you ready for the planetarium?" which reminded me that I didn't make him a lunch like a pile of crap dad. That being said, of the top three things that I dislike doing in life, making school lunch, a task that takes no longer than five minutes is one of them. Putting dishes away, another job that takes five minutes is also there if you're counting.

What does any good dad do when he didn't make his son a lunch? Go to the closest store and buy a turkey and cheese sub and some fruit and a juice. What does he do if he's a Thirsty Dude? Look around for drinks he hasn't reviewed wasting precious time that he doesn't have. That's what. I found this and thought that it might be alright and I've really been sleeping on making cold brew this week. I thought wrong. It's actually great. It's got a great cocoa taste and a great coffee taste. It's not too sweet and everything has their chance to shine. There is milk in it but it's neither milky nor chalky. This is the cold brew I wish I could make at home. This is fantastic.

Website
http://www.7-eleven.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 1st, 2018
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Almond Breeze Iced Coffee Vanilla

Almond Breeze Iced Coffee Vanilla

There aren't a whole lot of non-dairy coffee drinks on the market. Asian markets usually have some, but they are just black coffee with nothing else in them. I drink my coffee with soy/almond/coconut milk and a little sugar. For this reason, I was excited to find this carton of iced coffee in the dairy cooler today.

It was hard to decide which to get first of the three flavors they are offering: vanilla, mocha, and caramel macchiato. The latter seemed like it would be the most exciting, but I decided to go with the classic vanilla to start. As I expected, it's heavy on the almond milk. This reminds me more of coffee milk than actual iced coffee. It's really sweet, but also has sea salt in it to give it a nice kick. I wasn't expecting that but I really like it.

Now if you'll excuse me, Arrested Development season 4 isn't going to watch itself.

Website
http://www.almondbreeze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on May 26th, 2013
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Almond Breeze Iced Coffee Mocha

Almond Breeze Iced Coffee Mocha

Can we all agree that almond’s provide the greatest of all milks? Any milk that comes from animals involves some sort of gross bodily fluid mixed in. Rice milk…well rice milk always tastes like rice. Soy milk is good, but you know too much soy can be bad for you, it also has a very specific taste to it. I do enjoy soy milk a great deal, but it simply cannot compare to the glory that is almonds. So basically what I’m saying is that not only are almonds the world’s greatest nut, they also are the source of the world’s greatest milk. I’m glad we’re all in agreement here.

I’m into the idea of an almond milk based iced coffee. It’s nice and smooth. The only thing is that this is 95% chocolate almond milk and 5% coffee. Now that is a nice treat for my personal taste buds, but for real coffee fans out there I’m sure it leaves them wanting. The coffee flavor is more of an aftertaste than anything. It almost has a malt like quality to it. I would like to try a stronger version of this, but until that exists I will enjoy this chocolate goodness.

Website
http://www.almondbreeze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 6th, 2013
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Archer Farms Coffee Energy Drink Vanilla

Archer Farms Coffee Energy Drink Vanilla

Well this isn't good. I do enjoy a nice coffee drink, not to be confused with actual coffee, which I can't stand. Strange right? Welp, what are you going to do? This is very vanilla and, as reported by two separate colleagues, metallic tasting, which is not a strong selling feature unless you are advertising to sell to a tired goat. As for the energy, I don't get any "energy drink" taste. Mostly it just tastes like the vanilla and milk. I also did not get much coffee, which I was hoping for.

I will say that if we were playing darts, you know, Target CEO Gregg W. Steinhafel and I, I would think they were hitting a ton of low, non-counting numbers like three, or eight, because this drink missed the mark. It's missing what I wanted and expected. Now, Gregg might be a fantastic dartsman, but in the game where I asked him to play like this drink was playing, I beat him and looked great doing it. I didn't rub his face in it and I bought him a root beer for being a good sport.

Website
http://sites.target.com/site/en/supertarget/page.jsp?title=brands&brand=archerFarms
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 5th, 2012
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Archer Farms Coffee Energy Drink Mocha

Archer Farms Coffee Energy Drink Mocha

Rain? Again? Drats. I've got so much gardening to do. What do you think, pup? What do we do? Sit inside and play video games? Pup, I'm not twelve anymore. I've got responsibilities and that rhubarb isn't going to make a pie out of itself. First thing's first, you've got to get a fresh bowl of water and some food. I've got to tell you, your food smells terrible. I suppose that your breath is the product of your food. Problem solved. I've got to wake up a little bit. Hey, do you know if your mom drank that...oh no. Here it is. Good. Archer Farms, pup, I don't know. I'm fifty-fifty on this stuff. It's half good and half real bad. I don't know what to expect but it says "coffee energy" so I'm going to take it at face value.

Hmm. That's not bad. It is way more mocha than coffee. Not much coffee at all. It's smooth, though, and that's nice. I hope this give me the pep to just bear the elements and take care of the garden. I'm telling you, pup. You take one day off and your garden looks like a pile of garbage. This drink is all right. It's not bad. It might be too sweet since it's closer to chocolate milk than coffee. I don't typically drink chocolate milk at eight in the morning so this is the start to a very strange day.

You know what, pup. You and I are going to see if this rain is going to subside. I don't want to have to towel you off because, let's face it, you're going to get muddy because you're short and you always get muddy. You also hate your little beans to be cleaned for some reason so let's sit in here for a bit, not brush our teeth, and catch up where we left off in Sonic 3. I'm stuck at that part where you've got super sonic and then you have to ride that dumb cart across the water, Knuckles punches you, and by the time you get to Dr. Robotnik, you have no rings. I hate it. Every time, pup, every time.

Website
http://sites.target.com/site/en/supertarget/page.jsp?title=brands&brand=archerFarms
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 12th, 2012
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Archer Farms Cold Brew Cinnamon

Archer Farms Cold Brew Cinnamon

Fall is upon us. What does that mean? Cinnamon. Ahh, cinnamon. Natures...cinnamon. I bought this because it was A: Cheap and B: Had a great selling line on the side which I will put here:

This creamy and sweet cinnamon cold brew coffee is big on taste with a warm, velvety texture.

So's I buy it, bring it in to work and have two dudes try it and the consensus is as follows: It's bad. Not even OK. It's not good. It tastes like someone made a passable cold brew and then dumped too much ground cinnamon in it, said to themselves, "Welp, no turning back now." put in one more pinch, and bottled it up.

The coffee is fine. I don't drink too much and what I do drink is cold brew and typically has some sort of disgusting chemical chocolate taste to it so I'm not one to judge but this coffee was light at best. The cinnamon was a ground cinnamon and not a candy cinnamon. After tasting it, though, I don't know which I would have preferred. Thumbs down, Archer Farms/Target. There's more to fall than cinnamon. There's more to you than bad cold brew. I feel like I just masochistically did "the cinnamon challenge" to myself. I feel like a moron.

Website
http://sites.target.com/site/en/supertarget/page.jsp?title=brands&brand=archerFarms
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2017
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Archer Farms Cold Brew Mocha

Archer Farms Cold Brew Mocha

Oh cold brew. What did you do to me? Now I drink coffee? Thirty years I didn't touch the stuff and then all of a sudden "maybe coffee ain't that bad." You jerk. While I only drink one cup a day in the morning, it's still there and wasn't before. It makes me more "adult" than I care to be. Regardless, I now buy and drink coffee like some suit bastard.

How is this? It's a bit syrupy. If I could take the words out of the colleague that I let/made try it, he said that it tasted like the mocha was some sort of syrup that had taken over. It tasted like mocha coffee but the chocolate was very lingering and overpowering. I didn't hate it but it could have been backed off a bit. First sip was great but after a while, you kind of realized that something was happening.

I don't think this was terribly expensive and it's only 70 calories so would I buy it again? Eh, maybe. There's enough "mocha cold brew" out there that you don't have to be married to just one. It's a wonderful, polyamorous world for cold brew. It's like the Utah of the coffee world. Does that make sense? It's the singles cruise for coffee? What I'm getting as is that if you can sleep around, do it. Don't get married too soon. Plenty of cool boobs and butts out there to discover. This is no longer a review of coffee and has taken a PG turn. Shield your eyes, children. Mike's talking about sweater meat again.

Website
http://sites.target.com/site/en/supertarget/page.jsp?title=brands&brand=archerFarms
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 4th, 2018
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Arizona Joltin' Joe Sparkling Espresso

Arizona  Joltin' Joe Sparkling Espresso

Walk into a 7-11. Go towards the back where the Slurpee machine is. Now here is the hard part. Grab a cup and put some soda water in it. Like when you press the small white button next to the Coke or Mug root beer. Then shimmy over to the coffee machine and fill that bad boy up with the oldest, most burnt coffee, right to the brim. Shift back over to the fountain center and put some ice in there to cool it down. Then take a handful of sugar, all of them, artificial or real, who cares? Pay your $0.99 and go to your car. Give it a swirl and take a sip. Promptly make a face that looks like you just ate out of a momma bird's mouth.

I looked far and wide for this drink and now I found it and it unfortunately sucks. It tastes like how I described the scenario above. Gross. Joe DiMaggio, you should arise from the grave and White-Out Your name from this contract.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Sparkling
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 9th, 2013
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Atkins Advantage Mocha Latte

Atkins Advantage Mocha Latte

First of all, no I am not on a diet. Sometimes, people just have drinks that are common and I haven't had and they are nice enough to let me snap a shot of it and take a sip. All diet jokes aside; this is actually a pretty delicious drink. It smelled familiar and I couldn't place it. Then it hit me like a ton of chocolaty bricks. Cocoa Puffs. It smells like Cocoa Puffs and tastes 80% like Cocoa Puffs. The last 20% is a latte aftertaste that isn't undesirable. It's got a nice creamy head on it once you take the 10 mandatory seconds to shake it. Since it's so thick, the foam lasts a pretty good amount of time and is enjoyable throughout your drinking endeavor.

There is no sugar in this drink either, and the calorie count is 160, a lot less than many other dietary supplements. If you are on a diet, Atkins or not, this would be a good drink to try.

I'm glad I'm done with this review because I am just going to slam the rest of this sample I have.

Website
http://www.atkins.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Coffee, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 10th, 2011
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Atkins Ready To Drink Shake, Mocha Latte, 11-Ounce Aseptic Containers (Pack of 8)

Autocrat Coffee Syrup

Autocrat Coffee Syrup

I have a housemate from Rhode Island who introduced me to Coffee Milk. I had never heard of Coffee Milk before, nor did I know it was the official state drink of Rhode Island. I didn't even know state's had official drinks. After reviewing this list, apparently most states really like milk.

Anyways, Coffee Milk is made by adding a little of this coffee syrup (which is basically high fructose corn syrup and coffee extract) to a glass of milk (or in my case, I added it to soy milk) and mixing it up like you would using chocolate syrup to make chocolate milk. The end result looks like coffee that has a good amount of cream/milk in it. More importantly, it is delicious! I had my doubts at first, but I now wish I lived in Rhode Island where this is the official state drink. It tastes like a coffee milkshake, which now makes me want to make a coffee milkshake with this syrup.

I need to order a couple of bottles of this soon. I can already see myself getting really addicted to this stuff.

Website
http://www.autocrat.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on August 24th, 2012
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Buy Now
Autocrat Coffee Milk Syrup - 16 oz
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