Coffee (243 reviews)

Nestle Coffee Crisp

Nestle Coffee Crisp

Living on the border of Canada has its advantages. One of them is the awesomeness that is Canadian candy. Seriously, they put the U.S. to shame. When I was in high school/college I knew a ton of people that would take trips up to the Great White North to stock up on confectionery supplies, as well as a lower drinking age and strip clubs. Nowadays there are a ton of convenient stores and gas stations started carrying one of those three.

Even though (for the millionth time) I'm not a big coffee fan, I do enjoy Coffee Crisp. This evening some friends and I went up to Canada to eat at Licks Home Burgers. They seriously have some of the best veggie burgers and onion rings I've ever tasted. We stopped at a corner store to check out the beverage scene up there, and my eyes got pretty huge when I saw this in the cooler. It tastes pretty much like you would expect; chocolate milk with a hint of coffee. It's smooth, but it somehow leaves the impression of the grittiness of the candy bar. Okay it tastes like a liquefied candy bar. Fans of Canadian candy and chocolate milk take note.

Website
http://www.nestleusa.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 20th, 2011
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Mint Chocolate

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Mint Chocolate

Well this is something different. I don't drink hot coffee. I just don't. I get gimmicky drinks when I go to coffee shops as you can probably tell with my copious amount of Frappuccino and Coolatta reviews. This iced cappuccino is no different. It's a frothy, foamy, iced coffee drink. Also, the fact that it's chocolate mint screams, "not legitimate coffee." Back to something different. What's different is that I bought one today (pictured) and it is currently and by the time you read this, was disgusting. I will describe that in detail and then describe all the other ones that I've had.

I woke up, felt fine, but didn't have time for a proper breakfast so I got little doughnut holes AKA "timbits." While I was there, I thought it would be a good time to get a little drink for myself to review/enjoy. A nice woman with a not so nice crustache took my order and delivered to me the worst iced cappuccino I've ever had. I don't need to tell you that I don't drink so I am basing this off assumption but this drink tastes like someone pulled the old teaspoon/tablespoon mixup and put way too much creme de menthe in this because it tastes borderline alcoholic in it's concentrated mintitude (not a word).

All other ones that I have had are a nice blend of chocolate and mint and I don't need to drink from the top in hopes to avoid the mint disaster that is sleeping at the bottom. It's a good, refreshing drink that I enjoy getting on rare occasions. I also only get a small and I never get the "supreme" option, which is like the top trim of a car. Whipped cream and chocolate and caramel syrup. Oh, it looks great and nothing looked sadder than the drink that I received today, all naked in a clear cup, but I don't need/want those extra calories and it's honestly aesthetic unless you really have an affinity for whipped cream. I might save myself more extra calories by throwing this in, what the British call, "the bin."

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 11th, 2012
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Tim Horton's Cappuccino English Toffee

Tim Horton's Cappuccino English Toffee

If bakers know one thing, it's that measurements count. "Heaping" is not a word that bakers use. "Heaping" is a work that cooks use. Learn how to measure, cooks. While making this drink, I was ordered by the Canadian Government that is Tim Horton's to use three "heaping" teaspoons to water. This drink is weak. Weak, son. Get that weak stuff out of here. I am not completely penalizing them because I could have just added more stuff but when I follow directions to their ranged rate, there is clearly room for error since "heaping" is a variable amount.

What does it taste like? It tastes like cappuccino that you might get from a gas station but not as good. Something about those crappy gas station blends are good. It's just that it's so much like an adult hot chocolate that it borders on just a mockery of coffee related drinks and pure, unadulterated garbage. As for the English Toffee, eh, I guess if you left a Heath bar in a crappy cup of cappuccino that it would taste a bit like this so that is a pass. This whole drink is a pass. If this were a graded class, it would be a C+. It would do better on a pass/fail scale where everyone is either one or the other with no quality, just pass or fail.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 2nd, 2014
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Tim Hortons English Toffee Cappuccino Beverage Mix - Two 16oz Cans - Imported from Canada

Illy Issimo Cappuccino

Illy Issimo Cappuccino

I am not one of those dudes who wake up and has a coffee before anything nor am I the guy that has a coffee at any point in the day. "Dude, sometimes you just need that jolt." you might say, but you know what I say? No, dude, I don't. If I'm tired, I'm tired. My body is exhausted from doing stuff all day and needs to relax, not take an adrenaline shot to keep going at the pace I was going at. Sometimes I get down and sure, coffee might make sense, but I push through it and get to the end of the day and sleep like a baby.

Ignoring that entire entry paragraph, today I thought it might be a nice change to give it a whirl. Now I'm not going to drink a drink and then sit around like a turd and wait for the effects to kick in. I'm sure it's there, but I don't care and I'm not looking for it. It's all about taste and not function with this guy. If this were supposed to do something, I would let you know. It's a coffee drink. You know what it does.

Taste. It's, once again, just coffee enough that anyone in the range of "kind of likes the taste of coffee" to "loves coffee" will enjoy. There is enough milk and sugar to smooth it out and leave it with its inherent coffee bitterness. This wasn't bad. It's more "adult" than a Starbuck's Frappuccino because it's not as sweet and still tastes like coffee in its base rather than a melted iced coffee drink.

I got this at a steal from a local discount store so you might be able to do the same. Fifty cents doesn't buy you a lot these days but if it buys you a nice, refreshing coffee drink, wicked.

Website
http://www.illyusa.com/
Country
Denmark
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 28th, 2011
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illy issimo Cappuccino Coffee Drink, 8.45-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

Illy Issimo Mochaccino

Illy Issimo Mochaccino

Coffee, frappe, cappuccino, mocha, Frappuccino, Mochaccino...there is a lot going on these days in the world of coffee. Is it all good? Eh, it depends on who you ask and what you drink. Me personally, I don't like straight coffee but canned, usually of Far East descent I enjoy. When a Denmark makes a coffee, for some reason, I feel you should listen. This comes from no sort of knowledge of the country as a whole so if you know something about Denmark, and more specifically something that would validate/invalidate me, I'm all ears.

As I lead in with an intro like that, I quickly wonder why I spent the time to write it because this isn't particularly great by any stretch. Why? Well I'll tell you, why. Numero uno is that there is not enough coffee taste. With a "coffee" drink, I expect, nay, demand a coffee taste. This tastes mostly like a coffee flavored low fat milk. Milk first, coffee second. It's a little sweet but that's to be expected. If they could work out the ratio of coffee to milk that would make this great but it's a pretty wide miss as far as canned coffee drinks are concerned.

Mr. Brown, I once again would like to shake your hand for nailing this category and it's different blends and types of coffees out of the park. Illy, I have praised you in the past and although I am not looking down on you, I cannot in conscience mind recommend this product to my faithful followers. My apologies to you and yours.

Website
http://www.illyusa.com/
Country
Denmark
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 26th, 2013
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illy issimo Coffee Drink, Mochaccino, 8.45-Ounces Cans (Pack of 12)

Nescafe Regular

Nescafe Regular

Ringing in the new year is an exciting time for all. People make resolutions where they are really going to turn things around. Sure, come February you are back to eating at Arby's, but you had a solid month of eating well. One month at a time, friends. I spent last year doing what I do best: apathetically living my life. Oh, there are things that I care about, but in the least depressing way possible, I don't care about a lot of things. I don't really care about what anyone posts on Facebook since most of it is dumb e-cards, stolen phrases, or internal conversations that shouldn't be posted on a public forum. I've got a great group of friends that I love and anyone else I've met in the last five years has been promptly forgotten because they haven't done anything. I take care of my family and friends and everyone else can basically piss off. It's too hard to fake interest in everyone's nothingness so I just don't.

Today, in the new year, I decided to wake up and start this year off with a bang. Yes, on the second day of the year. Yesterday I was busy. What do you want from me? Coffee, right? Wake up, dude. It's coffee. This coffee drink comes to us from Hong Kong and is in that lovable, bulletproof container. It's just the right amount of coffee and just the right amount of sweetness. It's not too dark which I appreciate and although I am more tired than when I started, I can say that I tried with this one.

Kick in the new year's teeth with this drink and internally reflect on what you care about this year. Do you care about pictures of your acquaintances' cat? Nope. Do you care about meeting some dude at a bar that you will never see again and are questioning why you are shaking their hand in the first place? Nope? Don't waste your time but spend that time focusing on what you really want, like starting a band that sounds like Sade or creating a racket in order to legally bring in more money but make people second guess who you are as a person. That's what I've got planned for the rest of this year. Good luck to you and good luck to me.

Website
http://www.nescafe.com/
Country
Hong Kong
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 2nd, 2013
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Nescafe Extra Bold

Nescafe Extra Bold

My mom always jokes around. I clearly get my sense of humor from her and my money management skills from my (Jewish) dad. I'm fine with that. I like it that way. If you asked my mom how she likes her coffee, she would say, "Black. Like I like my men." which is funny because it's funny but also funny because the man she married is so white… so white. My dad. My dad is so white, and Jewish. My white, Jewish dad is very white.

This coffee, like my mom's faux preference in men, is "extra bold" which is just black. "Black like the night" as my (Jewish) grandma would say about her hair, which was more brown than black but her eyes were bad. Lay off. You know how Jewish women love that black bob haircut. My grandma would always ask for it but somehow left the salon with a mouth full of gossip and brown hair. I do not remember her choice in coffee but her husband, like my mom's husband, my daddy, was a pasty white, Jewish dude.

Back to the coffee. It's dark and less sweet than you would expect. These Nescafe drinks are nice because it's right at the limit where I can take coffee before it gets too much. I strongly dislike actual coffee but these drinks are great. It's darker and less sweet than the regular one that I drank.

Grandma, if you're reading this from beyond the grave, know that I am inside wearing a jacket. Mom, if you are reading this in between handing out milk and opening brat kid's Capri Suns, I'm talking about you behind your back. Deal with it.

Website
http://www.nescafe.com/
Country
Hong Kong
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 14th, 2013
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Frizz Coffee

Frizz Coffee

I just found my new favorite drink. I wish I could say I was exaggerating but I’m really not. This is exactly what I always hoped a coffee soda would taste like. It has a really strong coffee taste, but it is also sweet and bubbly. It almost has a cream soda taste to it as well. I just passed this bottle around a room of skeptical people and they all said it was delicious.

This little bottle was $2 but it is so worth it. It would be awesome if they sold this in larger bottles because I feel like I’m drinking all 6 oz of this way too fast and I want it to last forever. Isn't a normal cup of coffee like 12oz? That would be a good size. I'd pay $4 for that, probably far too often than I'd like to admit.

Website
http://www.frizzusa.com/
Country
Italy
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on August 10th, 2012
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Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

Kirin Espresso Tea Lemon

Kirin Espresso Tea Lemon

The flavors behind this drink take you where you want to go when you retire, around the world. Tea taste? Present. Lemon taste? Wildly present. Coffee/espresso taste? Lacking. The lemon though, man...there in full effect like Reggie. I don't know what an espresso tea is since none of the ingredients are reflective of anything coffee related. The tea, though, is a sweet lemon tea. Although I assume it's black, I can't taste because of the sweet lemon going on in the forefront.

I didn't know what to expect with this drink because I thought that I was going to get a trifecta of flavors but instead, I only got a duo. Instead of getting the Thompson Twins, I got Tears For Fears. Instead of Beastie Boys, I got Lightning Bolt. I was discounted by 33.3% and I think that I would have rather gotten the full lineup.

Country
Japan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 19th, 2012
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Seoul Milk Coffee Milk

Seoul Milk Coffee Milk

Yesterday we went to the Buffalo 66 (watch it) Denny’s, which has been turned into a Mexican restaurant. It was wonderful and if I didn't know better, which I do, I would never guess that it was ever a Denny's. I would never guess that I would eat there around once a week after some punk show downtown.

Jay proposed that we go across the street to an Asian market get our dessert. That dessert? A honeydew popsicle. Look, Jay and I like the simpler things in life. We're by no means simpletons, but we like simpler things. We're kids, basically. We're children. Either way, I ate a delicious honeydew popsicle and made our boy Jerid drive my car, which is standard, so that I could eat it.

While I was at said market, I bought this little number: coffee milk. You want to know what it tastes like? Coffee and milk, right down the middle. Fifty fifty. I've tastes a lot of drinks in the vein of this but never with so much milk taste. It tastes like I made a sweetened coffee and then poured milk in it and called it a day. So much milk flavor. It took me by surprise.

After all that we went to Big Lots, as usual, bought drinks, as usual, and traded drinks, as usual. Typical Thirsty Dudes hangout.

Website
http://www.seoulmilk.co.kr/
Country
Korea
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 30th, 2012
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