Diet (272 reviews)
989 OnDemand Kiwi Strawberry
I have had these drinks where you turn the cap one way and magic comes out and then you turn it the other way and the cap comes off. I like them. They are fun. Until now the color of the dust that comes out is the color that you would expect. Strawberry drink? Red or pink dust. Lemon lime drink? Green dust. I turned this expecting a dust and was given a dark brown liquid. I'm not saying it was gross but it was unexpected. You know when you're at home and sometimes you turn on the water and the water is a little yellow and you have to let it run for a bit to clear itself out? It's like that except this won't poison you like old pipes might. The nice thing about the liquid is that you barely have to shake it. I know there are a couple Elaine Benes' out there that hate shaking things so I feel the need to point it out. Give it one quick jiggle and you're done for the rest of your life. The taste is a little different than I expected, though. If you sold this to me as an apple juice, I might say, this is a pretty fruity apple juice. It's the same color as apple juice and tastes a bit like apple juice. The more you drink it the more convinced you are that it is kiwi strawberry. It's hard to say if this tastes like "real" kiwis and strawberries or if it's something with the aftertaste of the Stevia leaving it with a bitterness that I actually like. This drink is a regular enigma. I like it. Keep it up, 989.
EDIT:
We got this note from the company, so that explains the color:
"I just want to explain the reasoning behind the coloring on Kiwi Strawberry. Out of all of our flavor, Kiwi Strawberry color changes the fastest. All of our coloring are ALL NATURAL and hence they do tend to change colors after some time. If you try any of the other flavor, you will see that their colors are much more vibrant."
- Website
- http://drink989.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Reb A
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/19/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Xyience Xenergy Lemonade Pineapple
You know what I like? Diet energy drinks that don't taste gross. See, we here at Thirsty Dudes consume a lot of empty calories everyday. Because of this, I have come to enjoy diet drinks because it means I don't consume more calories. The problem with this of course is the majority of diet drinks taste like someone mixed dirt and battery acid and made stew out of it. This is especially true for a lot of diet energy drinks.
I have been really tired this week, due to lack of sleep. It's starting to (finally) warm up here in Buffalo so drinking hot coffee in the morning isn't something I like to do. Because of this, I have been drinking more energy drinks than I'd like to. They do the job, but I’m trying to drink as little of them as possible.
All that being said, this drink is delicious! The lemonade is sweet and slightly tart, and the pineapple taste compliments it very well. It makes sense that UFC made this its official energy drink because it's a touchdown. Wait, UFC isn't football? Oh, fighting, hmmmm... It's a punch to the mouth? That doesn't sound too positive.
- Website
- http://www.xyience.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 4/19/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Roaring Lion Zero Original
It took a lot of ground up baby lion cubs to make this drink. They should have waited for them to mature a little bit because this is one wildly strong drink. The thing about matured lions is that they kind of calm down and make better drinks. This is super tart. Super tart. Super tart. It sat on the back of my tongue for an uncomfortable amount of time. It's an energy drink. It's rough because it's so strong. Strong little cubs.
- Website
- http://roaringlion.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Not Listed
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/17/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Vuka Zo-Cal Zero Calorie Think Pomegranate Lychee
A great thing about Vuka is that they specifically formulate their different energy drinks for different activities. They know that if you’re staying up for an all night study marathon, you don’t need a bunch of taurine or other chemical garbage junking up your drink giving you the jitters. You want to stay awake and to be able to concentrate at the same time. For this Think variety they use natural caffeine, gingko biloba, panax ginseng, same bitartrate as well as niacin and B-vitamins. Their other flavors use different ingredients and it certainly shows. The Renew Mango Peach gave me crazy energy and a bit of the old jitters, but with this one I don’t feel insane at all. I just feel alert, and it’s helped me get through a bunch of things I was not looking forward to on my to-do list.
The functional side of this energy drink is absolutely perfect. Unfortunately the flavor side of it doesn’t come through as much. I’m all for stevia being used as a natural zero calorie sweetener, but from the taste of this it seems like they went overboard with it. It’s like whoever was adding it to the batch got distracted by a dirty joke and accidentally dumped too much in whilst laughing. It’s supposed to be pomegranate lychee flavored, but the pom flavor is very mild and I don’t really get any of the old lady flavors of lychee in here at all. Mostly it’s just the cold taste of stevia. I will say that the more I drank the less I thought it was gross, but it’s certainly not my favorite tasting thing by any means. I would drink it again and power through the flavor to get the functionality out of it though.
- Website
- http://www.vuka.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/17/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Bulletproof Energy Sugar Free
In order to ensure that bullets don’t pierce your person there are a few things you have to sacrifice, limited mobility for one. Also, if you’re a sweet spy, the bulkiness of it all will ruin the lines in your suit. I also just learned that in order to become bulletproof, you also have to sacrifice flavor.
As with most energy drinks that don’t proclaim to be a specific flavor, I expected the generic energy drink flavor of sugary candy. Well, diet sugar candy. I actually prefer the sugar free Red Bull to the original variety, so I thought this was going to be a little bit of decent, but nothing out of the ordinary. That proved to be not the case. This definitely has the chemical energy drink flavor, but it also has a weird almond smell to it that comes across as something completely different and weirdly citrus in the flavor. It’s not something that I would ever purchase, as there are so many other varieties of energy drinks in every gas station ever. Maybe this will be your thing, but I couldn’t really enjoy it. Maybe I’ll unload a few rounds into it and see if it actually is bulletproof. My predictions: I’m going to tear this thing to pieces.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/10/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Vuka Workout Berry Lemonade
I'm not wonderful with energy drinks, usually because I run myself on "E" a lot of the time. It's how I keep my slender figure. One thing you don't do is drink one on an empty stomach, which I idiotically did, and go and get the shakes like an idiot. I feel like my fingers typing this review are going faster than my brain wants to send down the commands for the words. It's probably bottlenecking in my stomach where the fantastic taco I just ate is residing temporarily.
Shakes aside, and let's be honest, that was my fault. This isn't a bad drink at all. It's fruity and is defiantly more "berry" than "lemonade" but I'm not really complaining. If you are on the "hater" side of the fence when it comes to Stevia and friends, you might and probably won't like this drink. It's not as bad as it could be but there is a prompt and abrupt interruption when you are enjoying the berry lemonade of it. The sparkling bit of it is a nice touch.
- Website
- http://www.vuka.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Rebaudiana Leaf Extract
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/9/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Two If By Tea Raspberry
I think that if given the opportunity to run the United States, Rush Limbaugh would take the offer. Right there on the table. President Obama meets Rush at an undisclosed location (TGI Friday's) and he slides a piece of paper across the table. On the paper says the following words; "Do you want to take over?" and below it asked you to circle "Yes" or "No." He would answer, "Yes" and then they would eat a Jack Daniels burger, fried mac and cheese, and chicken tortilla soup.
If Rush had to win over America, which he would have to do to about half of the country, he could simply hand out this tea. It would be an olive branch that tastes like raspberry tea. No, not like diet raspberry tea, just regular raspberry tea. He could say something like, "I understand that some of you don't like me. My intentions are pure and to let you know how serious I am, I am giving you each a bottle of this tea. I am a man of research and that is why I have given unto you a bottle of diet iced tea that doesn't taste diet and still tastes great. I am a giving, generous, and genuinely care about this country. Please accept my prompt leadership and I will do my best to point us, much like the captain of a ship, towards greatness."
Rush, if you are reading this, which I assume you are, you can use this line when Obama meets you at a secret restaurant that may or may not sell deep friend green beans.
- Website
- http://www.twoifbytea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/18/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
VBlast Gator Pit Lemon Lime
Hi, Skip Gator here. When diving into the gator pit to get your wrestle on it’s very important to be hydrated and to have your daily serving of vitamins. Now many of my competitors do this the old fashioned way with a bottle of water and some multi-vitamins from the drug store. I say, “Who has time for that?” I need to get getting myself psyched up for the rush of the fight. That is why I combine the two and down a bottle of V Blast. They even have formulated a specific blend for me that they call “Gator Pit.” They know my love of all things green includes limes, so they made my drink lemon lime flavored, heavy on the lime. Mrs. Gator says that it smells like a green freeze pop, I can’t argue with her. She also says it’s way more lime than lemon and tastes like that self same freeze pop if it didn’t have a harshness to it. What can I say? My lady knows how to exactly pin point a flavor. Don’t get her wrong, she doesn’t mean that in a bad way either, it’s just the way things are.
The fun in V Blast comes in the fact that the vitamins are stored in the cap and when you open it they are dropped into the liquid below. That helps keep the vitamins fresh for optimal use by the body. It also gives the whole thing a bit of a children’s vitamin flavor as well. It’s interesting and fun. Oh did I mention the vitamin flavor severely decreases the taste of the sucralose used to sweeten this puppy? Well it does, and for that I’m grateful. You gotta keep in top shape to tangle with a gator and sugar is a big no no in my world.
Welp, the bells a ringing and that means it’s time for me to jump into the pit. With the extra boost I got from V Blast this fight will be a cinch.
- Website
- http://www.vblast.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/11/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Crystal Light Liquid Peach Bellini
There are two things that this drink reminds me of. First is the most suburban America restaurant I can think of: Olive Garden. I would like to go on record and say that anywhere that has endless breadsticks, salad and soup is in no way shape of form a fancy restaurant. There is no need to pull out your fanciest clip on tie, and your slightly stained suit coat to take your family out for a meal there; t-shirts and jeans are just fine. Also, it’s not gourmet food. It’s a crappy chain restaurant that has a fake fancy image to trick the common folk. The one thing it goes have going for it is that they serve peach bellini, which is a nice tasting peach and raspberry iced tea with chunks of peach in it. Now that is something to brag to your friends about, not how large the portions of mediocre pasta are.
To be fair Olive Garden is my only form of reference for peach bellinis. Apparently, it’s normally an alcoholic drink that is a mix of peach schnapps and champagne. That sounds horrendous, especially because in the way back time in the early 90’s when I actually would drink alcohol I drank way too much peach schnapps and vommed everywhere and it was black and stringy. I couldn’t eat anything peach for years.
This is closer to the Olive Garden version than that other unmentionable version. In moderation it tastes like a watered down peach/raspberry tea, but if you add more mix to give it a bit more flavor there is some weird taste floating around beneath the surface. I don’t know what it is, but it tastes remotely like plastic. This is to flavor water though, not make a sweet drink, so follow the directions and go light on your squirt and it’s a nice treat that has no sugar and no real diet taste.
Oh, and that other thing that each bellini reminds me of? Well, that would be the Kids in the Hall’s “Touch Bellini” contest. In fact I’m going to have my own “Touch Bellini” contest. For the next week anyone who sends us an email to thethirstydudes@gmail.com or comments on our Facebook page as to why they should be able to “touch bellini” will be put into the running to receive what is left in this squeeze bottle of drink mix. Kraft sent it to us to review, so we shall pass along our leftovers to you, our twelve readers.
- Website
- http://www.crystallight.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Drink Mix/Concentrate
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/26/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Crystal Light Liquid Blueberry Raspberry
Sometimes you can just cram a couple berries together and make something nice. This isn't always the case. Most fruit and berries are pretty good but sometimes you find something that just sucks up your drink. I feel like, for the most part, you could add grapefruit to anything and it will turn your concoction into the equivalent of a fruit poop. Yeah, if fruit had butts, it would make that. Blackberry, a pretty sacred berry, and blueberry...eh..., come together for an epic collaboration that you will talk about like it was 1992 and you just heard "Nothin' But A 'G' Thang" for the first time. Now, sure, in that case, Snoop and Dr. Dre are both blackberries since they are both awesome and calling either of them blueberries would be insulting to their bodies of work.
This is a pretty great drink, though, all jokes aside. It's diet but does not taste like it and just tastes like a juice. Go ahead. Go to a Snoop Dogg/Lion show and make him a glass of this. He'll love it. He'll (slowly) say that it's sweet, tastes like the fruits that are in it, and probably ask for another glass since, I don't know, I feel like he's eternally thirsty. Dr. Dre is in cahoots with Dr. Pepper so he probably wouldn't drink this for you. That's not a dis, it's just that I don't want you to get shot down. Go with Snoop.
Ps. Kraft sent us this sample. They want us to make sure we say that.
- Website
- http://www.crystallight.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Drink Mix/Concentrate
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/25/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
