Diet (272 reviews)
Gatorade Low Calorie Perform 02 Raspberry Melon
Stephen was obsessed with looking like a troublemaker from the 1950s. He cuffed his jeans, wore Doc Martins (he knew it was more a modern adaptation of the greaser look, but he liked the way they looked), he wore his hair short with a slight wave to the side in front and always wore plain white shirts. In his mind he looked exactly like Kiefer Sutherland when he played Ace in Stand By Me. The only thing he needed to make his look complete was a leather motorcycle jacket. In his mind nothing would look cooler than him in his jacket. It was late July when he finally saved up enough money to buy the old broken in jacket he had been eyeing at the thrift store. His look was now complete and even though the weather was in the 90’s every day he wouldn’t take off his jacket. He felt he had to suffer for his image to prove how tough he was. He sure did sweat a lot though, and he felt dehydrated all of the time.
He decided he really needed to hydrate himself, so he went to the corner store and picked up a bottle of Gatorade. He decided that while raspberry melon didn’t sound like the toughest flavor, it did sound like it would taste wonderful. He glared at the clerk and paid for his drink and a pack of smokes. He didn’t really smoke, but he liked how the guys in Stand By Me rolled them up in their sleeves. Also, it gave him an excuse to take off the jacket for a few minutes and cool down. He went outside, through his coat over a railing and leaned against the building with one foot, all cool like. He cracked open his drink and took a big gulp. Man the drink was good. He hadn’t realized that he had grabbed a low calorie drink, but it wasn’t that bad. It was sweetened with sucralose as well as regular sucrose, but it didn’t taste diet much at all. It had a nice subtle melon taste that was somewhere between a honeydew and a cantaloupe, just where a melon flavor should be. He didn’t realize until he was drinking it how raspberry was an overlooked flavor in sports drinks. Sure it was around plenty in teas, but not in anything like this. This was one the best Gatorades that Stephen had ever tried. He was halfway through with the bottle and he decided it would look cool if he chugged the rest. Being the klutz that he was he spilled it all over his white shirt. He looked down in disgust at his once pristine white shirt that had instantly been dyed pink. He didn’t look touch at all. He looked like the turd that he really was. Shamed he road his Huffy bike that was made to look like a motorcycle home. Life sure is hard for this 27 year old.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/4/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Pepsi Diet Wild Cherry
Want to make this at home? Here's what you need: two parts diet Pepsi, one part artificial cherry flavor. That will about do it. There's not much else to say about this soda. Luckily the cherry flavor cancels out some of the diet taste and it's semi-enjoyable.
- Website
- http://www.pepsi.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 9/3/2012
- Comments
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Lo-Gly Low Glycemic Juice Blend Beverage Acai-Blue
Over the past decade or so it seems that America has become a more health conscious country. Sure there are still fast food restaurants all over the place, but to me it seems like less people are visiting them, and even when they do there are much healthier items on the menu. Actually I could be completely wrong here. Maybe it’s just the people I associate with. I mean people have to still be going to those places for them to stay open, but with the exception of Subway or Taco Bell (it’s a guilty pleasure that I can not and will not pass up) it’s extremely rare that I hear about someone that I associate with eating fast food. I hope I’m not crazy, because I am proud of people. It’s great that people are watching what they eat. I’m not a complete health nut, but I’d like to think that I eat healthy and for the most part watch what I consume on a regular basis.
To further people’s interest a bunch of companies are popping up offering healthier alternatives. One such company is Lo-Gly. I had no idea what the glycemic index as until I got my hands on this little guy here. It’s a way to measure how different foods cause your blood sugar to increase due to carbohydrate consumption. Foods with a low glycemic index (most fruits and vegetables) release glucose more slowly and steadily so they make you feel fuller for longer. Now that is a diet in the making. You can’t argue with science.
Foods like a low GI fall in the range of 55 or under. Lo-Gly was able to make this juice that lands at 23 on the chart, not too shabby. Everything in this bottle is organic, and mostly straight up juice. It’s a bouquet of antioxidant rich fruits. The pomegranate and acai make it fairly tart, but I’m okay with that. For some reason they felt they needed to sweeten it a little more than the blue agave was doing, so they added some stevia. Maybe it was even tarter than it is now, which would have been a bit insane. You can taste the stevia in the aftertaste, but the fruit juice mostly covers it up.
As far as beverages go that are marketed towards keeping a healthy diet and weight loss, this is one of the better ones I’ve ever tried. If it had just said it was Acai Blueberry flavored without listing any diet aspects I wouldn’t have noticed, with the exception of detecting the stevia at the end.
- Website
- http://www.lo-gly.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Blue Agave Nectar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/3/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
- Buy Now
- Ultra Lo-Gly Acai Blue 12 Pack
Jones Sugar Free Cola
Remember when Jones came out and you thought to yourself, "Green apple pop?! Woah!" Now, look, they've still got strange, fun flavors, those crazy Canadians, but you've got to pay the bills. Diet cola sells and people love the stuff. Even for a company that prides themselves on using pure cane sugar, they can't do that unless they make a super weak, odd tasting pop. Dry does it, but they're good at it and that's their thing.
This, and you shouldn't be surprised, just tastes like a diet cola. It has an alright cola taste but is still diet. I might say that this is a titch (scientific term) better than diet Pepsi. I'm not hating; just doing a poor comparison. I'm not a hater. I'm cynical, but I'm no hater. 'Nuff respect, Pepsi. Let these guys do what they do.
- Website
- http://www.jonessoda.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/23/2012
- Comments
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Powerade Zero Fruit Punch
I liked high school. That doesn't mean that I was great at it, but I liked it. I took a lot of great technology, shop, and music courses my senior year and it was like the school I always wanted. In hindsight, I wish I had gone with a trade school versus a traditional...or three colleges.
Back to high school: In high school we only had a Powerade machine. One. Singular. That was the one and only vending machine in the entire school. I would talk to other kids that would have all these pop machine and snack machines and stuff. I was jealous. For this reason, since I was 16 (1998) I have had a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, Powerade, it's because I'm a dumb idiot. Also, for no reason, I thought that Powerade was slightly carbonated regardless of how many times people told me that it wasn't. Without exaggeration, I have not had Powerade since I was a junior in high school; Today that all changed.
Jay and I came across it and I knew that it was time to change everything. Why should I hold a grudge against a company because they offered us something when no one else would? I should have loved Powerade these past few years. After today I have these regrets. This whole time I was missing a decent line of drinks that, yes, is like Gatorade, I'll say it, but it's good. I think that the fruit punch was good. Maybe the "zero" of it all calmed down the sweetness but I did a good job clobbering nearly thirty-two ounces of it. It was good. If you like fruit punch but don't like the strange bite that it sometimes has and like the drinkability of Gatorade and hate calories, this is the drink for you.
I'm sorry, Powerade. My alma mater thanks you and that's coming from a cynical jerk. It's been a long time coming. Sorry, guys.
- Website
- http://www.powerade.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/16/2012
- Comments
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Xyience Xenergy Melon Mayhem
Some of you may know that about five months ago Derek moved to Portland. You may have heard that he did so in order to open up a button/zine store. You my friends have fallen victim to a farce. The real reason Neuls Vern moved to the northeast was to train for UFC. Seriously, I’m not spreading false rumors here. You should see the before and after photos, it’s intense. Our mind manner drink reviewer is now a monster who could very easily rip off your head (It only takes 7 pounds of pressure to rip off someone’s ear, so home boy must be using a lot of weight to do this).
I got these sent to my home the other day, but it really should have gone to Thirsty Dudes West (officially Neulando Calrissian’s side of business). He would be crushing these cans in one gulp before getting into the ring and kicking the ever loving crap out of other zinesters come professional fighters. He is a baby and hates diet stuff, so I don’t know if he would like it. Who am I kidding he probably wouldn’t even taste it, drinking a full 16oz can in one gulp and all. If he were to taste it he would note that it resembles a melted down melon Jolly Rancher (Do those exist outside of watermelon, which this is not?) if instead of being made with sugar it was made with sucralose. It’s a pretty intense flavor, that I don’ t think I would have enjoyed at all if it weren’t diet. Real sugar would have made it unbearably sweet. Neuliana Hatfield is watching his weight these days though in order to get into a lower weight class. He really could have used this badboy. Oh, by the way, his fighting name is The All Things Ordinary Backstabber. I know it’s long and doesn’t really roll off the tongue, but if you have seen him lately you wouldn’t argue with him.
- Website
- http://www.xyience.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/15/2012
- Comments
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Zevia All Natural Soda Cherry Cola
Does anyone else out there find themselves at points in their lives where they just plain need a can of soda? It’s not the sugar, or even the flavor that I’m really after. I just sometimes get this itch in the back of my throat and I know the only way I’ll be able to appease it is with some carbonation.
At times like these I’m glad that Zevia is around. I usually don’t want a sugary drinks at these times, and the stevia they use makes my scratching utensil that much healthier. Unlike most diet sodas they actually taste decent. The diet death taste of sucralose and aspartame are not present, just the cool sting of stevia (as Mike says).
The cola flavor in this leaves something to be desired, but the cherry flavor makes up for it. For a second I forgot that I was drinking diet pop, which I guess is the end game for most diet things. If the cola were a little better this would remind me of Cherry Coke.
In the world of all sodas, this would get a 2 or a 3 bottle rating from me. In the world of diet pop this is a 4 all the way.
- Website
- http://www.zevia.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/14/2012
- Comments
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Lipton Green Tea Watermelon
I've been sitting on my computer for the past four hours working on a new project. Within that time I have listened to predominately electro-pop like Tesla Boy, Anoraak, Brookes Brothers, and Skinny Puppy "Remission," which could not be further from electro-pop. I'm in a fantastic mood and that's also considering I took ten minutes to walk down the street to see a car chase gone wrong with a criminal crashing into a tree and a cop car crashing into someone's front porch. I'm in the zone (chief) and I could stay up all night and get a good portion of this project done and over with if it wasn't for my better judgment and assumption/guarantee that my son will wake up between 7:30 and 8 in the morning and I will be drained all day.
As I'm working, I'm working on this iced tea. I was stoked to see this in the smaller bottles today instead of those gargantuan, thirty-plus ounce bottles. I had no choice but to fork over a buck and a half and get it. I took one sip and my glee promptly turned into disappointment. Why? Simple. Lipton forgot to add the watermelon. I was so excited to try a watermelon green tea but Lipton, in their haste, forgot to put the watermelon flavor in this. It's got a decent green tea taste and I commend that. It does taste a little diet, which is good considering this is a diet drink sweetened exclusively with sucralose and that stuff is grozz. I have eaten watermelon on numerous occasions and I've got to say that this drink is simply lacking that flavor.
I understand that the two is harsh, but it's partially a punishment for getting my hopes up with the promise of watermelon green tea and also the fact that all the flavors of this line of tea have been great. Bottom rung.
- Website
- http://lipton.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/11/2012
- Comments
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Snapple Diet Half and Half
Since we intake so many calories from consuming drinks all the time, I have actually come to look forward to diet drinks. 80% of the time they taste horrible, but every once in a while you'll find one that surprises you. This is one of those instances. Usually diet iced tea is really gross and tastes like a barrel of chemicals. Somehow Snapple has managed to keep the toxic taste out of this half and half. I have a feeling the lemonade might have something to do with it, but I’m not complaining.
As a half and half, this is just "okay". It's not the worst, but it's far from the best. It’s middle of the road. Medicore, so-so, or any other way you want to put it.
- Website
- http://www.snapple.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 8/10/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Cytomax Protein Watermelon
I’m a self-proclaimed outdoor kid. Hiking around the woods is one of my favorite things to do. With that being said, as I get older I find myself making it out into the great outdoors a lot less than I used to. This has left me feeling like a slob. I work then I hang out the house or go to band practice. As a result a few months ago I joined a gym. Well because of that and because the amount of sugar I intake is fairly astronomical due to this website. I’m shocked that I have actually kept going, and I find myself more or less enjoying it. I have a routine of when I go, and I stick to it. Even over the past week when it’s been 95+ degrees and I sweat just sitting still.
Today was one of my gym days and I was already sweating like crazy as I climbed out of the basement furnace that is my screen printing shop. I dried off as much as I could and then headed to work out. I feel sorry for the other patrons of the gym. Sure I follow the rules and wipe off the machines when I’m done, I’m not a savage, but while I was on the treadmill sweat was literally pouring off of me. When I was done there was a physical pool of sweat on the floor beneath me. Embarrassed, I cleaned it up and then went to do some lifting. I try not to look at anyone else while I’m there, so I don’t know if anyone was in the same boat as me, but I can only assume they were and I hope they paid me the same courtesy as I did them by ignoring my existence.
By the time I got back home I was completely drenched with sweat and dehydrated. I decided I should give this bottle of Cytomax recorvery drink a try. I figured there would never be a better time. It’s a protein drink, so I expected it to be thick. It’s also watermelon flavored so I expected it to be gross. What I didn’t expect was for it to taste like it does, and that is like a generic Pixie Stix. To be more specific it tastes like someone took a watermelon Jolly Rancher and crushed it to powder. Then for every part powder they mixed in three parts Pixie Stix. Shockingly it’s not disgusting, but it is insanely sweet, in the artificial sweetener kind of way.
I don’t really know if it helped with recovery, but it did quench my thirst, and I strangely enjoyed it. So at least it’s got that going for it.
- Website
- http://cytomax.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/6/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment