Diet (272 reviews)
Pepsi Next Paradise Mango
Apparently Pepsi is using their 'Next' line to try out new flavors. First was the Cherry Vanilla that Mike reviewed last week. Now I've come across this 'Paradise Mango' flavor. This is definitely a first for me, as I've never seen mango in a cola before.
Upon opening the bottle, a waft of mouth-watering mango hit my nose. I'm not joking, my mouth literally started to water when I smelled it. I don't eat mango that often, but I love mango flavored drinks. As soon as I took my first sip, my skepticism went away. This is incredible! It's got that classic crisp Pepsi cola taste, with a wave of mango right after. I keep catching myself smelling the bottle before each sip because I don't know if I’ve had a drink that has smelled this good in a while.
I hope Pepsi decides to expand this flavor into its normal line. I would love to see what this tastes like without all the fake sugar in it.
- Website
- http://www.pepsi.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 7/31/2012
- Comments
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Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero Rise
NASA has been having some trouble with their astronauts being little piggies. No lie those space commanders have become real porkers. Long gone are the days of the fit and cut astronauts from our youth. Instead they look more like your unemployed uncle on a good day. NASA decided something needed to be done. Not only is it bad for PR, but also the extra weight causes issues with the flights. They decided to launch a two tiered attack. The first thing they did was to start serving healthy vegan food in their cafeterias and on the flights (that is seriously not a lie, I just read about it today). Secondly, they decided that all of the sugar that “Major Tom” was injesting via Tang wasn’t helping at all. After half a century the relationship between the two companies was dissolved and our space scientists teamed up with Glaceau. Instead of the uber sugary Tang, astronauts now ingest a stevia sweetened alternative called Rise (get it, because they are rising to space). It really taste exactly like Tang with stevia instead of real sugar, but they do it well because they use less than 1% of the sweetener. It has a slight diet sting, but it’s mostly orange, and you can’t really ask for more than that. Now they just need to up the treadmill time. How are they supposed to find God (aka any array of Bowie characters) out there if they are too fat to get off the ground?
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/25/2012
- Comments
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Canfield's Diet Chocolate Fudge
There were two things that Mario loved in life. Those two things were chocolate and soda pop. What can you really expect from a six year old? Seriously though, Mario had terrible parents, or so his bedroom would have you believe. It was littered with empty pop cans and chocolate bar wrappers. They said it didn’t matter because he ate it all of the time and he was still “skinny like a bean.” Mario’s parents were idiots. A. All of that garbage would catch up to him weight-wise as he got older. B. I’m sure all of that sugar gave your poor child diabetes or some other disease.
One morning Mario woke up and found that there was not a drop of cola left in the house. On top of that he was out of chocolate bars. He felt like garbage. He now understood why his dad was so irritable on the mornings when he didn’t have coffee. The boy was going through withdrawal. It was as he was writhing in pain on the kitchen floor that he came up with an idea. He took one of his mom’s seltzer waters from the fridge and dumped a whole mess of cocoa powder into it. He grabbed a bunch of sugar packets and pours them into the mixture as well. It’s unfortunate for Mario that he didn’t realize that they weren’t actual sugar, but his mom’s “diet sugar” packets. Mario then took out an oversized spoon and mixed it until it was just a liquid with no powder on top.He took a whiff and it smelled like his mom's chocolate scented lotion. Pleased with himself he took a big gulp and immediately spit it all over the kitchen. His concoction was utterly disgusting. It tasted like a three day old, melted chocolate float that had aspartame in it for some reason. Even though the ice cream had melted, the carbonation remained. Ugh…so gross. Being the scumbag child that he was Mario didn’t even clean up his mess. He just took a five from his mom’s purse and walked down to the corner store to get his provisions. That little bastard.
Up until this pop touched my taste buds I had completely forgotten that Faygo used to make a chocolate cream pie soda. I remember convincing my grandfather to buy me a bottle. I took one sip and thought it was completely revolting, and I felt bad for wasting it. I pretty much had the exact same reaction with this similar tasting pop, except this time I wasted my own money instead of someone else’s.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/22/2012
- Comments
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Red Bull Total Zero
As if the 10 calories in Sugar Free Red Bull were too many, they recently came out with TOTAL ZERO. Imagine those words being emitted by an ominous voice and it makes the drink sound more intimidating. Sadly, it's not really that much different (taste wise) from Sugar Free Red Bull. I was hoping they were going to shake up the Red Bull recipe a little for this, but they stuck with what they know.
- Website
- http://www.redbull.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 7/18/2012
- Comments
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- Buy Now
- Red Bull Total Zero, 16 Fl Oz.
Crystal Light Cherry Pomegranate
"I don't like this. Do you want it?" she says to me. I don't often get proposals like this but I will always jump at the chance to drink something someone else doesn't want as long as it makes a good review. Obviously I said yes and the effect of that was over half a dozen packets of cherry pomegranate diet drink mix in my hand and a happy co-worker that doesn't have to look at them ever again. Everyone wins.
I made myself a glass of this and here's how it goes. If you fast-forward to Fall where people make candy covered apples, take their excess candy coating and roll some cherries and pomegranate arils in it and munch away on that. After you're done eating those at-one-time-healthy-snacks-now-made-terribly-unhealthy-snacks, imagine how they would be liquefied and that's about the slot that this drink fills. It's candy sweet but you can still manage to taste the pomegranate and cherry. That surprises me after thinking now of how good candy covered pomegranate is. Candy covered cherries doesn't appeal to me for some reason. If you're covering arils in the same stuff you use to make candy covered apples, you will have more candy than fruit. I guess I didn't think the logistics and dynamics of the comparison before I mentioned it. Oh well. It still stands. Enjoy your diet, everyone. Now with candy!
- Website
- http://www.crystallight.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Diet, Drink Mix/Concentrate, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/18/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Hansen's Self Beauty Elixer Blushing Berry
Baby girl you're getting married today and I have just the thing for you. Don't look at me like that! No, it's not an energy drink! It's a beauty elixir. It will make you glow girl! You know how they refer to people as blushing brides? Well in the olden days that would happen naturally, but with all of the artificial crap that is in food now a days your body needs a little help. That's where Hansen's comes in. They have come up with a formula with all of the vitamins and nutrients that a bride to be needs to give her the blush at the alter. On top of that they gave it a nice berry flavor. It's a mixture of blackberries, blueberries raspberries and strawberries. For a little extra something something they even added a little bit of cranberry in there. Unfortunately in order for the formula to work properly they did have to add a little sucralose to it, but it's so slight of an amount that you can't really tell that it's there at all. The acerola in there you can taste a bit and it gives it a weird twist. It's weird, but it's good.
Baby girl you are going to blush so hard at the alter after you drink this, your husband isn't going to know what to think. Seriously though, do you think anyone is really going to believe you just because you're wearing a white dress? Let's get real here.
- Website
- http://www.hansens.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/17/2012
- Comments
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Peace Tea Diet Green Tea
“To achieve a hippy utopia through the use of brewed beverages.” I’m pretty sure that is the mission statement of the Peace Tea company. For the most part I think they might be on the right track. Their beverages are inexpensive so the common man can afford them. They also use decent sweeteners for health reasons. On top of all of that 90% of their line of teas taste pretty fantastic. It’s a tea nearly everyone can afford and enjoy and isn’t that the basis for a utopian civilization?
As far as I know this is the only diet tea they have yet to put out. I had my reservations about it, hence it took me so long to actually get around to drinking and reviewing it. Happily it wasn’t all that bad. In fact I straight up enjoyed it. The strength of the green tea overpowered the sucralose and it didn’t have that gross diet taste to it, well not too much. I honestly expected to drink a couple of sips of this and then pass it off to someone else, but I ended up downing it all myself. When it was nice and cold is when it was at its peak. The warmer it got the more the sucralose was noticeable.
My only question for the company is if you’re striving for peace, what’s up with all of the weird propaganda slogans on your cans? Are you trying to lull everyone into a sense of peace and well being and then arise as our new overlords? Are you actually the bringers of the apocalypse? Either way, good job on the tea. I’ll be drinking many more.
- Website
- http://www.peaceicedtea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/1/2012
- Comments
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Xyience Xenergy Frostberry Blast
The name of this flavor instantly made me think of Gatorade. It’s like a word association in my head. You say “Frostberry Blast” and I think of “Frost Glacier Freeze.” The fact that there is blue in this packaging and the Gatorade is also blue helped as well. I’m glad I had that association because as far as I can remember they also taste similar. Well it tastes like Frost Glacier Freeze mixed with one of those random flavors of Mountain Dew (Voltage). It’s blue raspberry flavored, but it’s sweetened with sucralose, so it’s not overly sweet. It actually doesn’t taste overly diet either. I’m pretty into this. It’s a nice change up from your normal energy drink flavors.
Xyience was ahead of the game due to their name as it is. As a man who now owns a lab coat, I assure you that anything to do with science I will look upon with favor. I mean they must have scientists working for them to come up with the idea to ship their drinks in the canisters banks use for their pneumatic tubes.
They are also the official energy drink of UFC. I hope that when they unveiled this it was at a match. Two of the fighters entered the ring in lab coats and goggles. They were each handed a can of Frostberry Blast, which they instantly chugged and then proceeded to just beat the hell out of each other while they were all hopped up. I just really want to see two people in scientist attire go toe to toe. It can be ultimate fighters or it could be the nerdiest, gangliest dudes that NASA has to offer. I’m fine with it either way.
- Website
- http://www.xyience.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/26/2012
- Comments
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So Lieau Natural Weight Loss Water Mixed Berry Flavor
I think it’s safe to say that 95% of the people in America wished they were in better shape. From the slob couch potatoes whose idea of exercise is reaching for the remote to folks who spend a good deal of their time at the gym, everyone would like to improve themselves. It’s natural. People are supposed to be active. Companies know this is how people feel and they play to it. Why do you think there are so many “diet’ drinks out on the market? So L’eau took it a step further. They didn’t settle for a drink that had less calories and fake sugar. They went out and created a natural body supplement (I have no idea what it is) that actually aids in weight loss. The bottle says they ran studies with this supplement and the woman who took it lost significantly more weight than those who did not. After that success they produced their supplement in drink form. It basically tastes like Vitamin Water Zero, as both are flavored waters that use Erythritol as a sweetener. This bottle is supposed to be mixed berry, and it has a subtle berry flavor to it, but unfortunately the main flavor is the zero calorie sweetener, and it just gets stronger with each sip. You might think, “Well that’s not that bad, I’ll deal with the flavor if it will help me lose weight.” The rub is that in their study the woman who used the supplement had enough to equal three bottles of this daily for 8-weeks and still did a bunch of exercise. It’s not a magical cure all, but it apparently does help a little. You just have to drink a buttload of it.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/14/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Big Red Zero Calories
This has been sitting on my shelf for longer than any other drink I have to review. I don’t particularly like Big Red. It tastes like bubble gum with a hundred pounds of sugar added to it. After one sip I swear I can feel my teeth rotting. On top of disliking the flavor, I also am not a fan of most diet drinks. That is two strikes going against this drink and it was enough for it to sit in my cupboard for over six months.
I decided I should start working on getting all of these older drinks reviewed before I worry about the newer ones. Basically I was sick of looking at this can every time I opened the cupboard. The company sent us samples and it was a “preview” can that is just a silver can with a sticker on it. I actually like the look a lot, and I wish it were the real label. I looked online and apparently this new diet version of the drink is sweetened with sucralose, Ace-K, and aspartame. That’s a whole lot of artificial flavors that I want little to do with. The thing is, I found this to be better than the original version of the drink. It still has that bubblegum flavor, but it kind of masks the flavors of the artificial sweeteners, and it doesn’t tastes like you’re drinking an entire barrel of sugar. It’s sweet, but not cavity sweet, and with only slight fake sugar flavor. I think you may be onto something here Big Red.
- Website
- http://www.bigred.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/1/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
