Diet (184 reviews)
Muscle Milk Protein H2O Sugar Free Raspberry
It's been a long day at the gym. I'm a sweaty mess and I'm also exhausted. What can I say sometimes you just need to juice your pecs. Did you see me in there though? I was benching so much that it could have been a beached whale. No not that one that blew up all over some Asian city when they were trying to transport it. That was insane and disgusting. Why would you bring that up? Seriously, you're the "bar tender" at the gym juice bar. Is that you're opening line to make conversation with patrons? If so you really need to work on it.
So what would you recommend that I drink at a time like this? Muscle Milk? Sounds disgusting. You know that milk is basically blood and pus right? Ugh. Seriously are you trying to make me sick here? Is that how you get people to lose weight in this establishment? Oh they have a water version that is raspberry flavored? I guess I'll take one of those. Hmmm it tastes like a diet Vitamin Water with a little milk mixed in. This is really weird. It's basically water, juice and whey protein. Flavor-wise they either need to ditch the sucralose or the whey. Both are needed for their formula, so I guess it's what we're stuck with. I don't hate this, but I can't see drinking it every time I come to this gym. Wait...what? This isn't a gym? This is just the basement of a construction site? Then why are you serving drinks? Stop looking at me like I'm insane!
- Website
- http://www.musclemilk.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2011
Drenchers Fit 'N Lean Grape Apple
Diet death. That is what in encased in this bottle. It is chock full of tons of things that are good for you, and that probably wouldn't taste all that bad, but then it's completely overloaded with sucralose. I've learned to accept sucralose in moderation, but it's so prevalent in this drink that I just can't handle it. It definitely has a grape and apple taste, but that stupid artificial sweetener gets in there and just messes it all up for everyone. Well everyone that has taste buds. On top of all that it is a neon teal color that has nothing to do with either of the fruits represented. It actually looks like toxic waste, just the way it tastes.
- Website
- http://www.nbijuiceworks.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2011
Jump Hot Pure Energy Raspberry
This can looks like one that would be used in a Foo Fighters video in order to show the ridiculousness of energy drinks. I can just picture Dave Grohl dressed as a club girl drinking this as he walks past a bunch of guys waiting to get in. And then just as he enters the doorway, he half turns around and winks at someone. Say what you will about the band's music, they have made some great music videos over the years.
Unlike the can, the taste did not make me feel like I was in a club listening to Euro Dance Mix 2004. It's a really light drink. This is probably because, as the can says, it is sugar, carb, and fat free. I can't put my finger on what the taste reminds me of, but it's good! There's no diet taste, and there's definitely no battery acid energy drink taste. I wish I had more than just this one can. I could drink this all the time.
- Website
- http://www.jumpbeverages.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 9/7/2011
- Comments
- 2 Comments. Leave a comment.
Cintron Liquid Energy Shot Pineapple Passion
A lot of the time I feel like we just shouldn't bother reviewing energy shots. The reason being is that even the best of them taste like a mouthful of pesticide. This just happens to be one of the best of them, so it tastes like pineapple pesticide. You know the kind they only use in Hawaii. I was a huge fan of the "drink" version of this product, so I had high hopes that this was going to be the messiah of energy shots. Nope. It still tastes harsh and like you got your hands on something as a child that really should have a childproof cap on it, but it's been sitting on the shelf since the 70's, before those caps existed. This was a valiant effort, Cintron, but I just don't think it's possible to do what you're trying to do. Take it from a scientist.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/5/2011
Sans Natural Diet Soda Black Cherry
When I was a kid, I used to have Estes rockets. They were awesome. I can't wait to buy them for my son and take all the precautions I didn't as a kid. I would go to the hobby shop, pick up one that I liked, buy a couple rockets, and head home to put it all together. I'd paint it and I had a rad launch pad with remote detonator so that I didn't blow my adolescent fingers off.
You could buy different rockets. Letters signifying power identified most of them. Some rockets could only handle a certain restriction of rocket so the thing didn't explode when you launched it. Some rockets were two stage rockets, which means they have two separate bursts of fuel. This drink is like a dual stage rocket.
First sip is a bit of a calm black cherry taste. Once you find yourself asking where the sweetness is, stage two kicks in with a rush of super sweet Stevia. After those stages of the flavor rocket are complete, the descent happens where they all kind of comes together for a limited time as a pretty nice aftertaste. The aftertaste keeps you coming back for More and is definitely the best part.
I used to launch my rockets with my parents and friends and they constantly got caught in trees or I just couldn't find them when they came down. If I have one bit of advice, paint all your rockets in bright or even fluorescent colors. You can get this drink when you are on your way to launch HQ.
- Website
- http://www.sanssoda.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Rebiana
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/3/2011
- Buy Now
- SANS Black Cherry Soda
Vegas Fuel Energy Drink Experience Sugar Free
In television and the moving pictures when a bunch of dudes go to Vegas there is about a 90% chance that one of them will get drunk/high enough that they end up marrying a complete stranger. I appreciate the humor in that. The episode of The Simpsons in which that scenario happens to Homer and Flanders is top notch. Mainly because Flanders on a bender is hysterical, and second because of all of the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas references.
My question is are the women who are the brides out there looking for someone to marry in some sort of scam, or are they generally just as messed up as the guys? I feel like the girl whose silhouette is on this can is out looking for love, not quick money. She goes out night after night, hitting up all the casinos looking for her match. She knows she's going to be out all night, either looking or gazing into her true love's eyes, so she downs on of these energy drinks. She likes it because it's sugar free, yet it actually tastes decent. It tastes like a diet fruit punch, Hawaiian Punch to be specific. Since it's a fruit punch it doesn't taste overly diet even though it is. It's nice that even though there is an artificial sweetener in the drink, it's way down towards the end of the ingredients list. It keeps her up. It keeps her looking. Her true love is out there somewhere. Let's just hope that he/she is also in Vegas.
- Website
- http://www.vegasfuel.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/1/2011
Celsius Apple Orchard Blend
Something must have gone terribly awry at ye olde apple orchard. You see I have this can of Celsius fitness drink that was made from the harvest of the orchard and it tastes like the entire orchard was marinated in pesticides, or that it was stewing in napalm. Perhaps this is actually made from the soil of the orchard that old apples had rotted in to. No I think it's actually apples covered in napalm. You see this has only the faintest apple taste to it. I think that might even be a stretch. In a blind taste test I would never in a million years be able to pick out that this is supposed to be apple flavored. It literally tastes like poison, like I'm drinking some fluid that is supposed to go in a car, but someone has apple artificial sweetener to it. I can't believe I finished the can earlier. I just needed to keep up the energy so Mike and I could talk all night scheming of what our plan of attack would be if we ever made it on to the TV show "Take the Money and Run." I bet we could totally get away with it. We're crafty and being imprisoned for 48 hours doesn't scare us. We're strong willed. Oh yeah, we were also riding our bikes for several hours while we were discussing this. Now It's almost 4 hours later. I'm sore, I'm all hyped up, and I can still taste this poison on my tongue. For shame Celsius. You can do better than this.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/26/2011
Rip It Energy Fuel Shot Strawberry
I have a 500 button order due tomorrow so it looks like an all-nighter for me. Luckily I picked this energy shot up at Dollar Tree a couple weeks ago so I should be good to go. At first this wasn't that bad. I thought I had found yet another decent tasting energy shot. But then on the second sip the usual energy drink gross taste kicked in. Shortly after, it started tasting like a mix of cough syrup and melted popsicles. While I'm sure this is going to keep me awake, the taste is not great at all.
- Website
- http://www.ripitenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 8/24/2011
Sans Natural Diet Soda Lemon Lime
Do you want to know what a terrible, non-vocal review for a drink is? Letting someone try a drink and then watching them cover it up with Arby's french fries. This drink is not good. It has a cleaning solution taste and although the end is a nice, small little sweet treat, the effort and endurance your poor mouth has to deal with in order to get to "the end" is pretty unbearable.
It just tastes like a citrus mess until the flavor dissipates and leaves you with the sweet Reb-a, or Truvia, which is what they say they're using. I am going to blame this on the flavor division and not the sweetener division, two separate entities that may or may not exist at the Sans Soda factory. I don't know if someone played a practical joke on the flavor team by contaminating their batch of lemon lime behind their backs.
It has been a long time since I've had a good lemon lime pop that stood out from the Sierra Mists and 7-Ups and I thought this would have done the trick. After Thomas Kemper's Naturally Diet Cola, I thought that I was going to have myself a little treat. Instead, I was punished.
- Website
- http://www.sanssoda.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Rebiana
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/23/2011
- Buy Now
- SANS Lemon Lime
Faygo Diet Vanilla Creme Soda
A couple weeks ago was the annual Gathering of the Juggalos. Sadly I did not attend (nor have I ever), but I can still enjoy the festival from the comfort of my home thanks to blogs, digital cameras, and Youtube. My favorite article thus far is Buzz Feed's 89 Things I Learned at the Gathering of the Juggalos.
Every year, as I mull over the thousand's of photos of ICP fans camping in the middle of the woods, I always learn something. This year I learned that ICP prefers to use 2 liters of diet Faygo to drench the crowd during their set. Their reasoning apparently is because it's less sticky than the high fructose corn syrup bottles and they are also physically lighter so they are able to throw them much farther into the crowd. I can't really attest to either of those, but I'll take their word on it because they definitely have more experience with Faygo than I do.
The one thing I can comment on is the taste. This is a pretty standard cream soda, there's nothing special about it. It has a nice vanilla flavor, but the fake sugar aftertaste cuts right though it. While it's not the worst diet pop I've ever had, I've had much better. Maybe I should go to the mall and spray the rest of this on some juggalos. They'd probably give me a high five and start chanting "fam-il-y! fam-il-y! fam-il-y!"
- Website
- http://www.faygo.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 8/22/2011