Elixir (23 reviews)
Genesis Boost Youth Mangosteen
I've seen these drinks around a few times, but the $4-$5 price range always deterred me from trying it. When I saw it on sale for $2, I realized it was time to give it a chance. I've had dried mangosteen in the past, and it was pretty decent, so I was looking forward to this. When I opened it, there was brown gunk on the inside of the cap, I checked the expiration date, and it hadn't passed, so I chalked it up to "health food sludge." The smell is pretty terrible, like a fruit that is past ripeness. First swig it wasn't so bad, but it was kind of hard for me to finish the bottle. It reminded me of cider when it's just on the verge of becoming alcoholic. This is definitely not the beverage for me.
- Website
- http://www.genesisboost.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Elixir, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/16/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Cell-nique Super Green Drink Dark Chocolate
Mike and I have had our collective eye on the Cell-nique drinks for months. We would see it in the store every time we went. More often than not we would pick it up and look at the bottom of the bottle. There is so much sludge there. It was equally enticing and disturbing. The $4 price tag deterred us for a long time, but I finally gave in this week. I wish that I had put it off even longer.
Let's start with the fact that this has the longest list of ingredients that I have ever seen on a drink. There are 36 different ingredients. Sheer insanity. There is so much crazy stuff in here that I never in a million years would have expected to drink. Also, everything says "Organic" before it. I hate when companies do that. It's such overkill. This is pretty much supposed to be the healthiest thing you can ever drink. By default that means that it's going to be one gag shy of a trip to Pukeland, USA.
Here is my thought process starting with smelling it:
-Wow this doesn't smell nearly as bad as I expected. It has a general cocoa smell, with some undertones of weirdness. This might not be nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Oh wow it would rule if this actually tasted good for how healthy it is for you.
*Bottles Up*
-Okay that tastes like a strangely fruity dark chocolate bar. It’s not the greatest thing ever, but not that bad. I also expected this to have little chunks of grain (Quinona) in it.
*.2 seconds later*
Oh sweet Jesus what the hell is that flavor. It's like someone took every single thing that was in a fridge and put it all into a blender. It's a complete assault on the taste buds. There is absolutely nothing good about this flavor. Show me someone who enjoys this and I will show you someone who is either a liar or someone that was tragically born without taste buds.
*Again .2 seconds later*
Okay now it tastes like I just ate a spoonful of black licorice and hot chocolate mix, but the taste of liquid hell is still lingering in the background. Oh man this flavor just will not leave my mouth. I may have to cut out my tongue if this doesn't go away. I'm going to try and wash it down with something else.
*Hands bottle to Mike, goes into the kitchen and downs a tasty fluid*
Mike wanted to add that it tasted like he was eating a campfire somewhere in the middle of the flavor spectrum. I can't comprehend how disgusting this is. It's now a few hours after my initial tasting and I still have the memory of the flavor on my tongue. I've eaten several things since then as well.
Mike said that I should give this a two. Things this healthy don't have a chance in the flavor department. Sometimes you have to deal with something purely disgusting for the sake of health. This is so disgusting that the only way I could give it a two was if it gave me supernatural powers. I'm still normal me, so it's getting the loneliest of all numbers.
- Website
- http://www.cell-nique.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Elixir, Juice, Other/Weird, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/24/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Prometheus Springs Spiced Elixir Lychee Wasabi
Fun. I don't know how else to describe it. It's not refreshing, but it's not, not refreshing. It tastes good, but burns. See, it's got capsaicin in it, the stuff that makes spicy things spicy, so it's...spicy. I had the Pomegranate and Black Pepper flavor and it was around the same deal. It took me about three days to drink it as I had more fun sharing it and seeing other people's reaction than actually drinking it.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Elixir
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/7/2010
- Comments
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Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir Grapefruit Goji
I'm not the biggest fan of grapefruit. Why? I don't know. I just don't like it too much. This was not too much like grapefruit, though. It was more light, an ultra-light lemonade. It's not terribly sweet, but has a nice, lemonade tang/zip to it. It doesn't linger too long, which is nice because it's more refreshing that way.
If you love lemonade and want something a little (emphasis on "a little") different, give this a try. You won't be disappointed.
- Website
- http://www.adinaworld.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Elixir, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/14/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir Peach Amalaki
God I hate that tribal monkey. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it just rubs me the wrong way. It's unfortunate because I really like their drinks. I also appreciate the shape of the bottle.
Monkey aside, the tea in this really stands out more than in their other elixirs. It has that unmistakable green tea flavor. It also has a very clear peach aftertaste. I had never heard of amalaki before this, so I did some research. It turns out it's another name for Indian gooseberry, and it has been used to fight a mess of diseases. It's supposed to have a bitter taste, so it works well with the green tea.
I can only hope that monkey design is based off of a real monkey that hangs out in their head offices. I bet they got him to fetch them drinks and do their work for them. Too bad this primate has self-esteem and he's nobody’s monkey-slave. I hear he's gunning for vice president next quarter.
- Website
- http://www.adinaworld.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/17/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Cell-nique Super Green Drink Citrus Vanilla
What a relief. After the dark chocolate debacle from a few weeks ago, I was anxious to find some redeeming product from Cell-Nique. This did it. Not a hard competition to have something better than "the worst" rating you can get but all the same, this isn't bad.
Let it be known, that this is probably a health food drink over a standard juice or whatever. It's sludgy, gritty, bold, and flavorful. It's pretty good, though. It's like an orange juice with vanilla in it, for some reason, and then some jerk threw a handful of (edible) sand in it. Cell-nique claims that it's like "A farmer's market in every bottle" and I might give it to him. I really feel like this is good for you and the thickness and color don’t convince me otherwise.
This drink makes me happier to try the other flavors we have in stock. I'm finding it kind of fun and strange simultaneously to not have anything in my mouth, take a drink, swallow, and be left picking stuff out of my teeth with my tongue. It's an experience, I can tell you that much.
- Website
- http://www.cell-nique.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Elixir, Juice, Other/Weird, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/11/2011
- Comments
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Celsius Sparkling Orange
A couple of friends and I were planning on riding to Niagara Falls on our bikes today. It was close to, if not over, 90 degrees out but we figured we'd be riding next to the river the whole time, so it should be cooler. It was, but it was still pretty hot. Before we left I downed this can of Celsius. I definitely enjoy their sparkling drinks over their teas. They both taste so overly diet (they are weight loss drinks what so I don't expect otherwise) but the bubbles mask it a bit. This tasted like a really cheap diet orange soda that you would find at Aldi or some such discount grocery store. It wasn't the greatest, but for what it is and what it does I can't really expect a gem. I definitely felt an energy burst from it, and I will assume it helped burn calories. So I downed the can pretty fast, let out a humungous burp and hit the pedals.
We made it about halfway through Wheatfield when we decided to stop at a gas station and refill our water bottles. We were sitting outside sipping on some crisp cold water when suddenly my front tire let out all its air. It was loud and it was fast. The bike was laying on the ground for about ten minutes without being touched for ten minutes before it happened. I blame the sun. I really think it got to hot and burst. Stupid sun, you're just fighting dirty because I put on SPF 85 sunscreen!
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Elixir, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/17/2011
- Comments
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Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir Jade Green Tea
It's crazy how much my taste buds have changed and evolved since starting this website. It used to be that drinking anything tasting even remotely floral was like getting shot in the mouth with a perfume gun. My tastes have become more refined and now it's a flavor that I enjoy, well when it's not overly strong.
This tastes like a sweet lightly floral green tea. It also has a fairly prominent honey flavor to it. Truth be told it's a little sweeter than I would like it to be, but for most people it's probably just right. I'm on a big unsweetened green tea kick myself. It doesn't have that bitter "kick" of straight up green tea, but again I think that is what turns a lot of people off to that style of tea. The more I drink of the bottle the less floral it tastes and the more honey I get, Yes, I did shake it up before I opened it.
- Website
- http://www.adinaworld.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/17/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Tumeric The Elixer of Life Vanilla Bean
This is one of the craziest drinks I have ever tried. In true Thirsty Dudes fashion I tried it before looking at the ingredients list. I like to see if I can figure out what’s in it on my own, instead of actively looking for flavors that I know to be in it. Now due to that I had expected this to have a juice base with everything else thrown in the mix for the health benefits (anti-oxidant, cleansing, increased metabolism, alkalize muscle tissues, boost your immune system, help with digestion and circulation, promote skin health, and help with detox). After one sip, I knew I was wrong. What we have here is a water based drink that has raw honey, lemon juice, turmeric, ginger, Celtic sea salt, spearmint, cayenne and whole vanilla bean added to it. Depending on who you are that could either be ridiculously enticing, or make you want to dump it into a landfill without so much as cracking the seal. For those of you who fall in the latter category, stop being such babies and give “weird” things a try.
I will be the first to admit that this is certainly not a drink for everyone, and I’m not even certain that it’s for me, but I happily gave it a try. It basically tastes like someone took a bunch of spices and mixed it into a drink to be a jerk and give it to their friend. The thing is that it didn’t work the way the jerk was hoping. His friend didn’t throw up. The honey and the vanilla made the rest of the spices not seem too insane. They mellowed it all out a bit. The friend didn’t blow chunks upon drinking it, and in fact he enjoyed it in some strange way.
While this is not something that I would ever drink for enjoyment, it’s an interesting twist on a health-based beverage. If I think about them as I drink it I can taste each individual ingredient. When was the last time you had a drink that you could do that with? Tumeric calls this “Yoga in a bottle,” and I have no complaints to say otherwise.
- Website
- http://tumericalive.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Raw Honey
- Categories
- Elixir, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/12/2013
- Comments
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Prometheus Springs Spiced Elixir Pomegranate and Black Pepper
This was my first try at a spiced elixir, as Prometheus Springs like to call it. I can describe it like this:
Remember hot Warheads? The candy that you had as a kid that was hot and you thought you were awesome because you could eat a whole one without spitting it out? This is that, but in a drink. It's not terribly refreshing, even chilled, but they are nice enough to give you pairings like "Serve neat for maximum spice" and "Serve warm and get well soon", so I give them credit for being witty and not so stuffy. It's a completely organic drink, so you can feel good about drinking it, and it's so spicy you have to feel like it's doing something good to your body besides ravaging your taste buds.
If they come out with another flavor, I'll buy it, but I will not be surprised if I just copy and paste this review for that flavor, too.
EDIT
As Jay previously mentioned in his re-review for the Lemon Ginger, we were new to the game and didn't know what to expect. Now that this review is in retrospect, it is one of the more outstanding drinks. Is taste all that matters in a drink review? No. Not anymore. The Hey Song Shaking Jelly Soda Drink was tasty, but it was also a load of fun to have people try. Also, we reviewed a lot of ginger beers since this and it turns out we like and prefer the ones with burn. This was not a bad drink. It was just hot. It's a sipping drink, not a chugging juice like we may have previously expected. For that, I am re-editing this review and adding two points to its previous score of 2. Congratulations, Prometheus Springs, you've earned it.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Elixir
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/7/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
