Energy Drink (347 reviews)
Liquid Lightning Energy Drink The Original
The scientific community has been shocked that the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson of Ben Franklin strived to do for most of his life; capture the energy in a bolt of lightning in a can for human consumption. It was not widely publicized in the day that those were his true intentions with all his experiments and inventions, due to the fact that not that much time had passed since the Salem witch trials and no one wants to be drowned or crushed by a ton of rocks. Our Founding Father never succeeded in his quest, but each generation of his lineage has since added to his work. It wasn't until Stevie Franklin reached a 100% achievements in Skyrim, took a gigantic rip from his 4-foot bong and took a cursory look at his ancestor's work that everything fell into place. Being the consummate stoner, Stevie knew how to make any household items into a smoking device and he took that knowledge, skewed it a bit and by the next thunderstorm he had a can of lightning.
Most people have no idea that lighting is really made up of glucuronolactone, ribose, inositol, potassium citrate, caffeine and a whole mess of B vitamins. In its liquid form it can provide an individual with great amounts of energy that Stevie hopes to use in order to crush teenagers in Halo. Lightning has a strange chemical taste that is like most energy drinks, in a way that is similar, but with a berry flavor all it's own. The only thing is that it tends to be a bit tart. Stevie added 23g of corn sweeteners to combat that problem, but it still has that tartness to it.
This is a scientific breakthrough that could change the entire world, but in true form of his ganja freak friends, Stevie doesn't mind if others use his work, but he’s just too lazy to write any of it down for them.
- Website
- http://llenergy.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Sweetener
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/19/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Xyience Xenergy Lemonade Pineapple
You know what I like? Diet energy drinks that don't taste gross. See, we here at Thirsty Dudes consume a lot of empty calories everyday. Because of this, I have come to enjoy diet drinks because it means I don't consume more calories. The problem with this of course is the majority of diet drinks taste like someone mixed dirt and battery acid and made stew out of it. This is especially true for a lot of diet energy drinks.
I have been really tired this week, due to lack of sleep. It's starting to (finally) warm up here in Buffalo so drinking hot coffee in the morning isn't something I like to do. Because of this, I have been drinking more energy drinks than I'd like to. They do the job, but I’m trying to drink as little of them as possible.
All that being said, this drink is delicious! The lemonade is sweet and slightly tart, and the pineapple taste compliments it very well. It makes sense that UFC made this its official energy drink because it's a touchdown. Wait, UFC isn't football? Oh, fighting, hmmmm... It's a punch to the mouth? That doesn't sound too positive.
- Website
- http://www.xyience.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 4/19/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Roaring Lion Zero Original
It took a lot of ground up baby lion cubs to make this drink. They should have waited for them to mature a little bit because this is one wildly strong drink. The thing about matured lions is that they kind of calm down and make better drinks. This is super tart. Super tart. Super tart. It sat on the back of my tongue for an uncomfortable amount of time. It's an energy drink. It's rough because it's so strong. Strong little cubs.
- Website
- http://roaringlion.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Not Listed
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/17/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Vuka Zo-Cal Zero Calorie Think Pomegranate Lychee
A great thing about Vuka is that they specifically formulate their different energy drinks for different activities. They know that if you’re staying up for an all night study marathon, you don’t need a bunch of taurine or other chemical garbage junking up your drink giving you the jitters. You want to stay awake and to be able to concentrate at the same time. For this Think variety they use natural caffeine, gingko biloba, panax ginseng, same bitartrate as well as niacin and B-vitamins. Their other flavors use different ingredients and it certainly shows. The Renew Mango Peach gave me crazy energy and a bit of the old jitters, but with this one I don’t feel insane at all. I just feel alert, and it’s helped me get through a bunch of things I was not looking forward to on my to-do list.
The functional side of this energy drink is absolutely perfect. Unfortunately the flavor side of it doesn’t come through as much. I’m all for stevia being used as a natural zero calorie sweetener, but from the taste of this it seems like they went overboard with it. It’s like whoever was adding it to the batch got distracted by a dirty joke and accidentally dumped too much in whilst laughing. It’s supposed to be pomegranate lychee flavored, but the pom flavor is very mild and I don’t really get any of the old lady flavors of lychee in here at all. Mostly it’s just the cold taste of stevia. I will say that the more I drank the less I thought it was gross, but it’s certainly not my favorite tasting thing by any means. I would drink it again and power through the flavor to get the functionality out of it though.
- Website
- http://www.vuka.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/17/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Hi Ball Sparkling Energy Water Grapefruit
I’m sorry this is not what you expected sir, but in all honesty did you really expect to be handed a scotch and soda or some such libation? I mean we are at an elementary school music recital. It would be more than a little irresponsible to serve alcohol at such an event. I’m actually shocked that these Hi Ball energy drinks were available in the vending machine. I mean why would kids grade K-6 have any need for energy drinks? Actually, why would kids so young have access to a vending machine? Shouldn’t they be learning the basics of their educations, not chugging away at a soda?
Anyways, stop your complaining and try the drink. It’s like tonic water with a splash of grapefruit flavoring in it. It’s like a grapefruit seltzer, and it’s not bad at all. It has organic caffeine, guarana and ginseng in it, and you would never be able to tell from the taste. I know you wanted to get drunk to make it through this night, but at least this will save you the embarrassment of your child seeing you fall asleep during his/her solo.
Sir I will not get you another. I’d like to point out for the third time that I’m not a waiter. I’m actually just another parent who’s seat you have taken. Don’t give me that garbage about not having assigned seats. You clearly moved my jacket that was on the chair when I went to the restroom. You also dumped my wife’s purse out when she asked you to move. Now that I think about it, your trench coat leads me to believe that you’re child isn’t even in this production. Security!
- Website
- http://www.hiballer.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Sparkling, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/14/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Bulletproof Energy Sugar Free
In order to ensure that bullets don’t pierce your person there are a few things you have to sacrifice, limited mobility for one. Also, if you’re a sweet spy, the bulkiness of it all will ruin the lines in your suit. I also just learned that in order to become bulletproof, you also have to sacrifice flavor.
As with most energy drinks that don’t proclaim to be a specific flavor, I expected the generic energy drink flavor of sugary candy. Well, diet sugar candy. I actually prefer the sugar free Red Bull to the original variety, so I thought this was going to be a little bit of decent, but nothing out of the ordinary. That proved to be not the case. This definitely has the chemical energy drink flavor, but it also has a weird almond smell to it that comes across as something completely different and weirdly citrus in the flavor. It’s not something that I would ever purchase, as there are so many other varieties of energy drinks in every gas station ever. Maybe this will be your thing, but I couldn’t really enjoy it. Maybe I’ll unload a few rounds into it and see if it actually is bulletproof. My predictions: I’m going to tear this thing to pieces.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/10/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Rockstar Super Sours Energy Drink Bubbleberry
Two facts about me: I like sour things and I like energy drinks. Put them together and theoretically I will be very happy. Aside from the mash up flavor name of "Bubbleberry", this would have been one of the first drinks I would have proposed if I got a job at Rockstar.
Other things I will do in my first week at my less-than-ideal job at Rockstar include:
- Take the star out of the logo.
- Fire anyone who played "All Star" by Smash Mouth, "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill, or any other song that featured some play of "rock star" heavily in the lyrics.
- Make this drink not so gross by keeping the awesome sour taste but adding a good flavor to it that didn't taste like energy drink battery acid.
- Secure a deal with Rockstar Games to trade energy drinks for free video games for all employees.
- Ensure "Bubbleberry" is never on another Rockstar can ever again.
- Taco tuesdays.
- Website
- http://www.rockstar69.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 4/10/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Vuka Workout Berry Lemonade
I'm not wonderful with energy drinks, usually because I run myself on "E" a lot of the time. It's how I keep my slender figure. One thing you don't do is drink one on an empty stomach, which I idiotically did, and go and get the shakes like an idiot. I feel like my fingers typing this review are going faster than my brain wants to send down the commands for the words. It's probably bottlenecking in my stomach where the fantastic taco I just ate is residing temporarily.
Shakes aside, and let's be honest, that was my fault. This isn't a bad drink at all. It's fruity and is defiantly more "berry" than "lemonade" but I'm not really complaining. If you are on the "hater" side of the fence when it comes to Stevia and friends, you might and probably won't like this drink. It's not as bad as it could be but there is a prompt and abrupt interruption when you are enjoying the berry lemonade of it. The sparkling bit of it is a nice touch.
- Website
- http://www.vuka.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Rebaudiana Leaf Extract
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/9/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Energy + Juice M-80
For some reason when Monster adds juice to their energy drinks they give them some sort of destructive name. Their tangerine/pineapple one is called Khaos and this one, which is more tropical, is called M-80. I don’t know what juice has to do with causing trouble, but Monster has embraced it. Apparently their marketing department thinks that kids go to the grocery store, chug a few gallons of juice and then go out and blow up frogs and mailboxes. I’m all for blowing stuff up (well not frogs), but I don’t need juice to do it. Any beverage will do. I mean, you have to stay hydrated.
Now Khaos is one of my favorite energy drinks. It tastes more like juice than anything else, but something went wrong when they were developing M-80. It has apple, passion fruit, pineapple and guava juice in it. It should be a home run. I was fully expecting it to be the best energy drink I’ve ever tasted, but as I said something got mixed up. It has more of a general Monster flavor with a bit a generic tropical mixed in than it does any of the individual fruit juices that are combined to make it. None of the individual juices are distinguishable. The more I drank, the less I liked it. I would have preferred an original Monster with it’s generic energy drink flavor over this. You can’t win them all.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Glucose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/8/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
5-Hour Energy Berry
A couple weeks ago I went to PAX East aka Penny Arcade Expo in Boston, MA. It's basically a giant gaming convention stemming from a long running webcomic about video games. It was my first time attending and I had a lot of fun.
In addition to all the new and upcoming games, there was a 5-Hour Energy booth set up in the front lobby all weekend. Normally I would avoid these little bottles of death like the plague, but the line for the coffee shop in the hotel was always way too long and I didn't want to get my ass handed to me when I was playing Halo 4 against some 6 year old. Over the weekend, I lost count at 4 or 5 of these consumed. I'm afraid to know the actual number, but I did manage to bring an additional 5 home with me somehow.
Does this taste like "berry"? Sure. Could it be mistaken for another flavor? Most likely. Did I barely notice the flavor due to consuming this in one sip due to over-exhaustion and wanting to just "wake up"? You betcha! Did it work? Indeed it did.
- Website
- http://www.5hourenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 4/8/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
