Energy Drink (232 reviews)
VPX Redline Xtreme Triple Berry
I was scared to drink this. I was recommended to try this out by my friend Mike Soto, because he said it was the most intense energy drink he has ever had. Challenge accepted! I finally came across it in a gas station in Bloomington, IN. I was feeling pretty tired before I started drinking this so we'll see how it goes.
Observation one: It's clear and non-carbonated. This is unusual among energy drinks. I've had plenty of non- carbonated ones, but I don't recall any clear drinks. It's nice because it means that they didn't add any unnecessary coloring.
Observation two: Terrifying reviews online. I came across this Amazon review that was titled 'You might die!'. This freaked me out a bit. I have definitely had my fair share of energy drinks over the years, but only once has my heart actually hurt from them. It was when I stayed up all night before an 8-hour shift at work and I ended up drinking five energy drinks in the course of 12 hours. It was not a pleasant experience and I have never done anything that stupid again.
Observation three: There is a gauge on the side of the bottle. Yes, to make sure you don't drink too much in one sitting (you're only recommended to drink half of the 8oz bottle at a time), they have a gauge to let you see where the drink level is at. On top of this, there are warnings ALL OVER the bottle. They all say "CAUTION, read label before drinking". I have drank about 1oz so far and I'm already really energized.
Observation four: It tastes good! Really good actually. It doesn't taste like an energy drink at all, especially not a diet one. It's like a slightly thicker berry vitamin water with more flavor. Trying to determine the flavor I ended up drinking another 2oz. Uh oh...
Observation five: This drink is intense!! In the name of science (reviewing drinks is a science, right?), I decided I needed to drink the entire serving of 4 oz to properly review this. Let's just say, this REALLY works. I feel more awake than I ever have been in my entire life. The term "hyper aware" comes to mind. The way I feel right now is what I imagine cats feel like when they see something flying in the air and their heads jerk back and forth really quickly. This is easily the most effective energy drink I have ever consumed. At the same time, I would be terrified to drink this whole bottle in one sitting.
- Website
- http://www.vpxsports.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralean
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 10/8/2011
- Comments
- 3 Comments. Leave a comment.
Rockstar 2X Energy
You know when you have weird connections to things and no matter how hard you try to disassociate them? I have one with Rockstar energy drinks. Anytime I see one of their cans, "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill pops into my head. Not just a quirky "oh remember the 6 months that song was played everywhere?" type of thing. Nope, it starts playing in my head starting with the chorus. I can honestly say it's been over 7 years since I have heard that song. My brain is an iron trap for music and in cases like this, I hate it so much!
So when I grabbed this can from the gas station, the song started playing in my head as per usual. Luckily, "Till the World Ends" by Britney Spears was playing inside the store and I was able to drown out Cypress Hill. (Yes, I like catchy dance pop like Britney Spears, so what?). Upon opening it I remembered the other reason I don't like Rockstar energy drinks: they are gross. This is just generic citrus flavor with a really strong energy drink taste. I've lucked out and haven't had many gross energy drinks lately so I forgot how bad that energy drink taste can be. After a few sips, I could feel my throat swelling up a little. It's as if my throat is talking to my tongue and wants me to stop drinking it. Gladly!
- Website
- http://www.rockstar69.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 10/6/2011
Monster Energy Absolutely Zero
The packaging makes this drink look like it's going to be ice cold. Like when mints have that weird coldness to it. I didn't expect it to be minty, but I hoped it would have the same freezing effect. It ended up just tasting like a regular diet energy drink. When Dan first opened it and took a sip he said it was pretty gross. I expected the worst, but it tasted fairly average to me. Underneath all of that chemical energy it took a second for my taste buds to register that it was even diet.
In the end this is one of the best diet energy drinks that I've tried. With no sugar or calories it's also probably one of the "healthiest" I've ever had as well. To be fair neither of those are really that crazy of achievements.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/5/2011
The Simpsons Energy Drink Duff
Someday Midge will see how much I love her and she'll come runnin' to old Moe. Sure I own a crap hole of a bar and I more than occasionally delve into some less than legal monetary pursuits (what was I thinking keeping a whale in the back of the bar?) but I've sure as hell put the time into winning her over. It's exhausting really. For the past 22 seasons I've been following her and Homer all around this god-forsaken planet just to be close to her. Oh Midge if you only knew the time and effort I put in each week following and watching you for all these years. Sneaking into the luggage compartments on planes, hiding in the flora of the restaurants they eat in, and a whole lot of creeping around watching through windows.
In the early days in order to keep up steam I had to rely on some classic meth that I would get from Cletus, but after what it did to my skin, and with my teeth falling out and whatnot I knew I needed to stop. Lucky for me Duff released an energy drink. I can tell you it's sure a hell of a lot better than that swill ale those low life drunks at my bar gulp down all day. It tastes like a classic energy drink with a nice citrus twist. Sure they use high fructose corn syrup, and I swore I was going to cut that down so I could get in shape for my love, but really what can you expect from such a low rent company as Duff. At least it keeps me up for my late night sessions of watching Midge sleep. That is when Homer's fat whale of a body isn't blocking my vision. Speaking of which it's about time for me to be climbing that old tree. Someday she will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.
- Website
- http://www.bostonamerica.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/4/2011
- Buy Now
- Simpsons Duff Energy Drink
True Colors Enhanced Energy Beverage Orange Tangerine
Hey Frankie, I thought I told you to pick me up an energy drink? This thing don't taste like no energy drink I ever had. It taste like a more juicy soda pop. You know with like fruit and junk in it. What do you mean does it have taurine in it? What am I some kind of ingredientologist? Fine I'll read the stupid can. Yeah it's got that "t" stuff in it. Sounds like something to do with a bull. Is that what gives Red Bull it's kick? Wait this isn't bull testicles is it? If it is and this is some kind of joke I'm going to box your ears. Okay, okay I believe you. This stuff still doesn't taste like an energy drink though. It tastes like a fancy orange juice with bubbles in it. Tangerines you say? Well ooolala Mr. Fancy Pants Frenchman. Now shut your mouth and help me rip up this carpet.
- Website
- http://www.drinktruecolors.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/3/2011
Blu Sugar Free Energy Drink
Matt loves going to dance clubs. He loves dancing so much that he weaseled his way into a job as a bar back at his favorite club in town, Blue Monday. Yes, they are so original that they named themselves after New Order's most well known song. They even host "New Order Mondays". It's pretty absurd if you ask me, but the kids seem to like it.
Another interesting thing about Matt is he's straight edge. He gets made fun of a lot for being around alcohol all day long, but he doesn't care. His love for dancing overrides his distaste for alcoholic drinks. Since he's been working at Blue Monday for so long, they started taking his suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks to stock. The owner was pretty loyal to Red Bull for a while, but when Matt told him there was a line of energy drinks called "Blu", he jumped for joy. Literally, he leapt into the air. I wasn't there, but I know the bartender on at the time and he said it was really weird.
A few weeks later they got their first shipment of Blu energy drinks. It was a huge success. The post-ironic crowd the club drew loved the idea of drinking Blu energy drinks, inside of a club called Blue Monday, while the song "Blue Monday" by New Order was playing. Occasionally they'd also play "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 to mix things up a bit. It was really gross.
Last time I was there was for the opening day of New Order November (don't ask). They were all out of the other flavors of Blu so I tried the sugar free version for the first time. I was expecting it to be gross, but it wasn't that bad at all. It tasted really similar to sugar free Red Bull. I'm glad to see my friend Matt is happy and the club is doing well with their Blu energy drink sales. I just hope someday the owner will realize that irony is dead.
- Website
- http://blu4lifeusa.com
- Country
- Poland
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 9/29/2011
Phix Energy Teaberry
Oh I'm so sweaty from getting my swell on. Four hours of just heavy, free weights does wonders to my deltoids. I don't ride the bikes because that's for girls. I don't use stair climbers because that's for old men. I use free weights and that machine that shakes you together to get the maximum amount of swell to my increasingly bulging biceps.
After two hours, I run out of steam and I need some pump up so that I can pump up. At the smoothie bar, they sell these packets called Phix that the gentleman behind the counter mixes it in a cup with a fancy, long spoon. Slammed. I slammed it, like I do those weights. Slammed. Like Onyx. It went down smooth. It wasn't too strong either. It was a light drink, like a watered down juice. It didn't really taste like an energy drink. It just tasted good with a light fruit taste. I'm used to slamming down energy drinks and protein drinks that are either too sweet, or too thick, or too gross. This is the perfect drink for me to pump iron long into the night, as I do frequently. I have a goal to look like I did in my high school picture and now that I am a hundred pounds heavier. I have to work harder to get rid of those last, pesky fifty pounds. I've got to strive to slip into those Sasoon jeans and Yes T-Shirt like I had in my senior picture. I've got to get back to working on my hammies.
- Website
- http://www.phix.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/28/2011
- Buy Now
- Phix Energy Teaberry - 5 Pack
Go Fast Sports Light Energy Drink
I've been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately. I'm not going to lie, all those empty calories have been going to my waistline lately. While I'm perfectly comfortable with my weight, it wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds. Why am I telling you all this? Well it's to say that since I've been drinking more drinks with fake sugar in them, I've gotten used to the taste, which used to repulse me. Sucralose and its friends no longer taste like chemicals to me. Is this a good thing? I don't know.
One aspect where it's a good thing is I am able to judge the taste of a diet drink a little better. I was expecting this to be pretty bland, but I was pleasantly surprised after the first sip. It tasted like a diet version of the original Go Fast Sports energy drink, but there was something else I couldn't put my finger on. I thought maybe they were using stevia as the sweetener, but that wasn't it.
Honey. That is the main sweetener in this. Totally took me by surprise! It works really well too. Now that I know there is honey in this, it makes sense and I can taste it. It's not strong, but it's really nice sweetness in the aftertaste.
- Website
- http://gofastsports.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Honey & Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 9/28/2011
On Go Energy Berry Blast
Energy shots are garbage. It's a scientific fact. They are concentrated so they taste like liquid trash. It's up to you to decide if the trade off it worth it. Do you want to chug a big sugary can of something that will make you pee at least twice, or do you want something quick and compact? The cans generally taste better, in their own chemical way, but the shots can be stored in a pocket for anytime use.
Normally the shots and cans are around the same price, but On Go has put out this line of shots that are less than a dollar each. So they are compact and inexpensive. This one also tastes like radioactive raspberries. It's sad that the flavor doesn't put it at a disadvantage against other energy shots. As I said they all taste like neon trash. I can say that this works, possibly too well. I drank it on an all day excursion of bike riding/hiking/beaver watching and pizza eating and I was unable to fall asleep until about 4am. I should have been completely exhausted like my friends, who passed out around midnight, but this little bottle kept me alert, even when I pleaded for it not to.
- Website
- http://www.ongoenergy.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/27/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Sambazon All Natural Amazon Energy Acai Berry
Most energy drinks are targeted towards people between the ages of 15 and 30. Companies market them as "extreme" drinks that give you a rush. Most of them are so jam packed with artificial chemicals that I won't be shocked when studies come out in 10-15 years showing that everyone has pickled their insides and we're all going to die, but hey I stayed out all night partying so who cares?
There are other people who need pick me ups as well, but they aren't going to drive to the local convenience store and pick up a Monster or a Rockstar. There are health conscious people out there who want a little extra help getting their day going. Typically those people drink coffee, but Sambazon offers an alternative. This drink is a mixture of sparkling acai and acerola juice that are both extremely healthy fruits. Then they mix in organic guarana, guayaki and yerba mate to add an energy burst. It's all natural, and it's not going to give you the jitters like you might expect from your run of the mill energy drinks.
It definitely tastes like acai, which I know a lot of people are turned off by. If it's a flavor you're not into, you should steer clear of this product. I personally enjoy it when it's not too overpowering and it's not in this drink.
- Website
- http://www.sambazon.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Green Cane Juice
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/24/2011
