Energy Drink (562 reviews)

Quinoa Gold Caffeine-Free Energy Mango Passion

Quinoa Gold Caffeine-Free Energy Mango Passion

When I saw this intriguing beverage I was pre-warned that this was "completely gross" by a friend who had already been roped into trying it. I was feeling adventurous (and I thought it couldn't be nearly as bad as he said it was), so I decided to give it a chance. Oh how I wish I hadn't. It was extremely bland. The quinoa "supergrain" gives the nearly flavorless beverage the consistency of a grits milkshake. I'm usually a fan of pulp and other floaty things in drinks, but this was just too much. I couldn't even finish a third of the bottle. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone as an everyday drink, but if you're drinking it for the health benefits, I say good luck to you.

Website
http://www.quinoagold.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave Nectar
Categories
Chunky, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 8th, 2010
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Red Bull Energy Shot

Red Bull Energy Shot

I guess this energy shot could be considered a drink. It tasted like Red Bull mixed with poison; a complete chemical flavor. So gross. Not for me.
If you need to drink a Red Bull go for a regular one, they taste way better.

Website
http://www.redbull.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink, Shot
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 25th, 2010
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Red Bull Energy Shot, 2-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 24)

Royal King Korean Ginseng Drink With Honey

Royal King Korean Ginseng Drink With Honey

You know how when you have plants in junky pots you generally put a plate underneath them. It catches the water that seeps out of the dirt after you water them. This tastes exactly like I would expect that runoff water to. I couldn't get more than one sip into me. Our friend Dan also likened it to "sweet creek water." If you're into either of those gross dirty waters, boy do I have an energy boost for you!

Country
Korea
Sweetener
Honey
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 26th, 2010
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Royal King Red Panax Ginseng Extract 8000mg Extra Strength(contains 13.80 alcohol)

Korean Ginseng Drink With Root

Korean Ginseng Drink With Root

Jason had previously reviewed a similar drink to this one, so I had some idea what I was getting myself into. I found this at a local Asian supermarket and was simultaneously intrigued and terrified by it. So naturally, I had to try it.

I made sure to drink this over the sink in case it was so bad that it made me puke. Luckily, it wasn't as bad I expected it to be. It wasn't the worst taste in the world, but definitely something I never want to drink again. Jason said it best; it tastes like what I imagine the water run off from a potted plant to taste like.

Country
Korea
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 23rd, 2011
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Rhino's Sugar Free Energy Drink

Rhino's Sugar Free Energy Drink

I already have a hard time drinking most energy drinks. When you give me a diet/sugar free energy drink, there's no way this is going to be good. The first sip of this was pretty horrible, like swallowing battery acid. The next couple wasn’t too bad. Perhaps I've already acquired the taste for this drink? Nope, around the fourth sip the first couple sips finally hit my stomach and it feels very similar to the time I had food poisoning. For three days straight, I lied on the couch while my stomach felt like it was eating itself. It was easily in my top five worst feelings I have ever felt. Any drink that can give me that same feeling is not one I want to consume.

Website
http://www.rhinos-energy.com/en
Country
Austria
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on February 23rd, 2011
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FRS Healthy Energy Orange

FRS Healthy Energy Orange

At first, this was just orange juice. The further down the can I got, the more I hated it. I know, Dad. I shouldn't use the word "hate", but who cares in this case. I'm an adult man now and I can say what I want. We've had our differences, like that time I wore non-prescription glasses to Thanksgiving and we got in that fight and didn't talk for a year. That was awful. Sorry Dad, but this time I'm putting my foot down and saying what I want about this drink. It promptly starts tasting like someone poured orange juice powder in this can and filtered out the actual juice. Did someone just give me roofies? Man, I hope not. I've got stuff to do.

Don't spike my drink, and Lance Armstrong, sorry I don't enjoy what you endorse. Deal with it.

Website
http://www.frs.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 23rd, 2011
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FRS Healthy Energy Liquid, Orange, 11.5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Celsius Apple Orchard Blend

Celsius Apple Orchard Blend

Something must have gone terribly awry at ye olde apple orchard. You see I have this can of Celsius fitness drink that was made from the harvest of the orchard and it tastes like the entire orchard was marinated in pesticides, or that it was stewing in napalm. Perhaps this is actually made from the soil of the orchard that old apples had rotted in to. No I think it's actually apples covered in napalm. You see this has only the faintest apple taste to it. I think that might even be a stretch. In a blind taste test I would never in a million years be able to pick out that this is supposed to be apple flavored. It literally tastes like poison, like I'm drinking some fluid that is supposed to go in a car, but someone has apple artificial sweetener to it. I can't believe I finished the can earlier. I just needed to keep up the energy so Mike and I could talk all night scheming of what our plan of attack would be if we ever made it on to the TV show "Take the Money and Run." I bet we could totally get away with it. We're crafty and being imprisoned for 48 hours doesn't scare us. We're strong willed. Oh yeah, we were also riding our bikes for several hours while we were discussing this. Now It's almost 4 hours later. I'm sore, I'm all hyped up, and I can still taste this poison on my tongue. For shame Celsius. You can do better than this.

Website
http://www.celsius.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 26th, 2011
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Celsius Calorie Burner, Apple Orchard Blend Stevia, 12-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

Hyper Malt Original

Hyper Malt Original

For a few years I thought of how great it would be if someone would market cereal milk. All different kinds, but particularly Fruity Pebbles and Golden Grams. There is nothing better than that flavor infused cream after you've finished the "solids" portion of your two course breakfast cereal. It's like drinking the bathwater of the gods and sometimes, before moving onto that final stage, I refresh the first, making the inevitable payload that much more savory. It's a harrowing exercise of will power to be certain but like any work-out or period of time without smoking cigarettes, it's more than worth it once you cross that finish line. It is, essentially, the bathwater of TWO gods now. Perhaps they bathed together. Maybe there was just a water shortage and they needed to conserve so as long as the temperature remained comfortable they just wouldn't drain it in-between baths. There is no limit to their hygienic routines as long as your imagination is healthy.

What I'm saying is, though this might sound like a good idea to some (or no one after that unfortunate analogy), I have found upon drinking HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK that cereal milk is only delicious because the person drinking it worked so hard to make it. This energy drink tastes like someone took a bowl of apple juice, emptied the contents of a box of Wheaties into it, let it sit in the sun for a few days, took it back inside, gagged heartily, then ran the fluid through a colander into a bottle which went directly into my mouth. I don't see cereal milk being a big hit for anyone looking to be refreshed, and I don't see HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK being a big hit for anyone looking to be energized. Unless of course you only need the energy required to hurriedly rush to the bathroom to spit it out before going back to watching Maury Povich like I did this morning. But at least it saved me the tens of thousands of dollars I was going to invest in my new milk company.



When I asked Keith to rate the drink he said "0 of 5. No wait, NEGATIVE 0 of 5." Our scale only goes to "1" but keep in mind that if it was possible, it would be below that.

Country
Denmark
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Other/Weird, Soda Pop
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Keith Buckley - Singer for Every Time I Die on February 8th, 2012
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Cutting Edge Diamond Energy Drink

Cutting Edge Diamond Energy Drink

32 oz of the worst energy drink ever. Instead of being on the 'cutting edge' of huge cans, they should work on making one that a normal human can enjoy. I'm so disgusted at this drink that I’m not even going to give it the courtesy of an amusing story.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on March 7th, 2012
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Max Velocity Sugar Free Uncaged Energy Drink

Max Velocity Sugar Free Uncaged Energy Drink

Going into this I knew this was going to be bad. Any energy drink found at Big Lots (where drinks go to die) named "Max Velocity" is not good. On top of it, there's no flavor on this. What flavor is "Uncaged"? At least there's a grainy photo of a cheetah on the can.

Yup I was right, it's like a Red Bull/ Mountain Dew mix. So gross. It burns the throat as it goes down.

Website
http://www.albertsons.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on October 4th, 2012
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