Juice (668 reviews)
Brazil Gourmet All Natural Superfruits Smoothie Acai with Cupuacu
I demand to know who is in charge of keeping track of ORACs aka antioxidant comparison. As far as I can tell companies just make up numbers. Acai drinks always seems to list the ORAC found in acai in comparison to other antioxidant rich fruits and the numbers are never even close to the same. I'm calling shenanigans!
As for the juice contained (yes I know they say it's a smoothie, but it has the consistency of juice so that is what it is in my world) it smells terrible. Vaguely rotting. I was skeptical to even drink it. I sucked up my fear and I took a sip, which actually tasted pretty good. The acai flavor isn't as harsh as I expected it to be. The other ingredients mellow it out a bit. It's not in my list of greatest juices of all time, but because of the health aspect of it I have no real complaints aside from the retched odor. I advise not breathing until it's in your mouth already.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Sugar Cane Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/24/2011
- Comments
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Brazil Gourmet Premium Nectar Guava
All three of us have reviewed a guava drink today; so let it be known that July 6th, 2011 will now be known as Guava Day. I, for one, welcome our new guava overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted blog personality, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
They have bestowed onto me a bottle of guava nectar to sample. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guava nectar drink and I must say it’s quite good. It’s not as thick as other nectars I have had, but that’s a good thing. I often find nectar to be way too thick and hard to drink. This is the consistency of a juice/nectar mix and it’s perfect.
**Disclaimer: this review was in no way influenced, edited, or forced by the almighty guava overlords.**
- Country
- Brazil
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 7/6/2011
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Bug Juice Wicked Sour Cherry
I got made fun of for buying this drink. I gave the excuse that "I had to review it", but my friends didn't care. They argued that there were plenty of other drinks in the gas station that I hadn't reviewed yet. The real reason why I picked this up is because I was hoping it actually was "wicked sour". I love sour things and have been searching for a good sour drink. Seeing as this is marketed toward kids, I thought it might actually be sour.
Once again I was let down. Squirt is sourer than this "juice". I use juice in quotes because there is no juice in this at all. It's just sugar water. I love sweet things, but I could only get a couple sips of this in before I had to dump the rest. If I had a kid, I would never give them one of these.
- Website
- http://drinkbugjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 12/21/2011
- Comments
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Calamansi All Natural Cane Sugar & Honey
While on a recent trip to the Philippians Franklin went to a restaurant to get himself a nice lunch. He had spent his morning climbing and exploring the Taal volcano and had worked up quite the hunger and thirst. As he is prone to do he asked his waiter to put a lime in his water instead of a lemon. He read somewhere that lemons in restaurants are full of germs and bacteria since they are left out and workers tended to cut them with bare hands. As per usual logic did not surface in the mind of our fair protagonist and to him limes were as clean as can be. The waiter informed him that he was sorry, but the restaurant did not have any limes. Now Franklin did not like being lied to. On his way into the restaurant he had seem into the kitchen and there was crate upon crate of limes. He had even thought to himself that he had never seen so many limes in his life. To be fair you don’t run across large congregations of citrus in western Pennsylvania. Franklin began to raise his voice and it took a whole two minutes of him giving the waiter a piece of his mind before the server could get a word in edgewise to inform Franklin that those were not limes, but calamansi. He then informed his guest that it was a different sort of citrus fruit that tasted like god put a lemon, a lime and an orange in his heavenly blender and then shoved the result back into a skin that looked like a lime, but was actually sweet. Being a man who likes to get a taste for local fare, Franklin asked if he could have a wedge of calamansi in his water. His server told him he would do him one better and bring him a glass of his island famous calamansi juice. It was his grandmother’s recipe that was a mixture of the fruits juice, cane sugar and a little bit of honey for flavor. He warned Franklin that it was a bit acidic so he should not drink it on an empty stomach and urged him to eat some of the complimentary bread on the table while he went to fetch a glass. Franklin was no dummy, he knew to never fill up on free bread at a restaurant. He was a well-read man who had read that factoid somewhere (he just forgot the part about not doing that at buffets). He didn’t touch the bread and when the glass was set before him, he chugged it down like a true Pennsylvanian. The waiter had not lied this was a tasty and refreshing drink that did in fact taste like the description he gave. It also tasted like the rind was left on the fruit when it was blended, but that was not a bad thing. It had a sweetness to it, but there was not so much sugar added to eliminate the tartness of the fruit. He could also taste the honey. It wasn’t very strong, but it was there enough that he noticed it. It was basically lemonade made with this exotic fruit instead of dirty old lemons. This was something that Franklin would rave about when he got back to the States. He let out a huge burp and asked for three more glasses to be brought out. He would forgo his meal in order to fill up on this delicious juice. The waiter tried to talk some sense into him, but Franklin would not hear it. He was a grown man and he knew what was best for him, or so he thought until a half hour later when he left the restaurant with the worst gut rot of his life. Let this be a lesson to you; always have some food in your stomach when you drink something with a high citrus concentration. Franklin would never make that mistake again, well at least not until he ran into another exotic fruit that was new to him.
- Website
- http://www.simplycalamansi.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/9/2012
- Comments
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California Garden Mixed Fruit
Ohhhh Bethany, this has chunks in it. Why would you give me something with chunks in it? You know I don't like chunky. I like smooth. I like my peanut butter smooth. I like my spaghetti sauce smooth. I like my jazz smooth. I especially like my drinks smooth. Honest to goodness, Beth, why would you give me this? If I wanted something with chunks in it, don't you think that I would have let you know years ago? We've been married 17 years and you've never known me, even a little bit, to go against the grain. I'm an accountant. I drive a base model Toyota Camry. I only own black and dark navy suits and white and light blue dress shirts. I have three ties and two of them are navy. I eat my sandwiches with the crusts cut off. Chunks, Bethany?! You know what? I will take another sip of it because I see that you're getting attached to these strongly rooted opinions that I have on my lifestyle.
On second though...yeah...on second though this isn't so bad. It's a very good fruit taste, and those chunks are just chunks of real fruit, so it's not that far fetched. It's just like eating a really juicy watermelon but a mixed fruit flavored watermelon. There is even a nice buzz that your lips get from the tang of the real fruit. You know what, baby? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. This is actually a wonderfully delicious drink that I could see myself drinking again.
Bethany, here's $20. Go to the local Indian market, buy a mixed case of this stuff and meet me in the Camry. We're driving with the sunroof open today!
- Website
- http://www.californiagarden.com
- Country
- Lebanon
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/27/2011
- Comments
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California Garden Pineapple
A drink called California Garden that is made in Lebanon. Well that makes sense. I don't even think pineapples can grow in Lebanon. There's some sort of mystery here that needs to be solved! I more than likely only think that because I started re-watching X-Files. I'm going to see conspiracy everywhere now.
Besides the great Lebanon cover up this what I like in a juice. Firstly, it's actually made from pineapple. You would think that would be a given, but through doing this site I've learned that "juices" are pretty artificial more than you would expect. Secondly, it's filled with wonderful chunks of fruit. We here at Thirsty Dudes really can't get enough of "chunky drinks" as we call them. This is different than most. Normally the chunks are soft and chewy. Since these chunks are pieces of pineapple they are a lot harder than I'm accustomed to. I was able to quickly adapt.
- Website
- http://www.californiagarden.com
- Country
- Lebanon
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/3/2011
- Comments
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Calypso Organics Limeade
Listen Cindy, I know you really wanted to have a lemonade stand today, but the truth of the matter is you plumb used up all of the lemons in the house yesterday. All we have left is a handful of limes that your stuck up older sister uses in her Mojitos. I don't think those would be what you want. I've been meaning to ask you, what did you do with eight dozens lemons? I'm catering a party for the Shemkovitz's this weekend and you know how they love lemons in their water. Yes I know you made lemonade to sell, but what did you do with the rest of them? You sold it all and you now have $137? Wow! People said they would be back today for more? Well I guess we better give these limes a go then! Hmmm. This actually isn't bad. It's really tart, but it tastes exactly like it should; lemonade with limes instead of lemons. No I don't think we should add more sugar. The tartness has a charm to it. You're sister is going to be so mad at us for using her limes. Hopefully your customers will love it. Oh honey your father wanted me to ask you if you knew where his records went. You what!?!?! You gave them away with the lemonade?!?!? Do you know how much some of those early 45's were worth? Looks like someone isn't going to college anymore.
- Website
- http://www.kingjuice.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/7/2011
- Comments
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Capri Sun Fruit Punch
Alright. I'll admit it. I'm no child anymore. Sure, mentally, I am as dumb as your average eight year old. I still enjoy when things blow up, I'm not opposed to sleeping in awkward positions or in the trunks of cars and have no concept of "clean" and "dirty." I eat chicken fingers, hamburgers, and hot dogs and love ice cream. I ride bikes, play video games, and still enjoy cartoons. That being said, regardless of my past times and eating habits, I turned thirty this week so I should at least think about becoming a full fledged adult.
Cut to today's review and it's the Big Pouch of Capri Sun. It's the loveliness of the old pack but...bigger. I grew up with the taste of this fruit punch so this is like a review I would have done when I was appropriately aged to drink them. Look, juice is juice. You can put an age restriction on alcohol, but not juice. If I, a grown idiotic man, want to drink fruit punch out of a metallic pack like a G.D. astronaut or fourth grader, I'm going to do it. You know why? I'm an adult and can do what I want when it comes to juice.
I've got to say, it's a good thing this guy is resealable because that is a lot of juice clocking in at just shy over 11 ounces. It's not bad, though. It's sweet fruit punch. No bite and all fruit. Sweet fruit. Drinkable but I am responsible and know my artificial juice limits. If I didn't, I would have tons of pimples all over my face and we would revert my complexion back fifteen years. I can't keep going back in time to all my different "eras" so I'm going to stop drinking this pack of juice.
- Website
- http://www.caprisun.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 5/25/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
- Buy Now
- Capri Sun Fruit Punch
Capri Sun Strawberry Kiwi
There is something you need to know about Buffalo. It's vital to understand why we, Buffalonians, are the way that we are. It has to do with vitamin D and the sun. You see, it's crappy here. A lot. It's probably a solid six months of gray skies whether it is our seemingly endless winters or just overcast days. It's quite tolling on our psyche and depression takes its toll on us. It's out of our hands, you know? It’s ecological and cyclical. Sure, everyone just takes medicine, turning them into drones and they wonder why they're in such a bad mood come February and March and then they are in a great mood when the weather is nice.
Last week and the week before were teases. It's spring. We all know it, but sometimes you get that fluke week that is picturesque and you just want it to be like that forever. You know the next three weeks are going to be rainy or at very least, moderately cold, but you just want to soak it in as much as possible. This week is slated to be wet and gray; a terrible combination. That's where this drink comes in.
Kiwi strawberry and strawberry kiwi, two separate animals, are summer delicacies. It's nice that it's always summertime in the eyes of Capri Sun. Just drinking it makes me see through the endless fog, rain, sleet, and potential hail into the sun. I would like to take my hoodie off when drinking this, but I know I would instantly regret it. It's a good juice and even though it has the dreaded corn syrup inside of it, you don't care because it's all you've got to keep you from going to the tanning beds to just feel the suns artificial touch on your pasty, almost translucent skin. You can't really taste it anyhow, so don't let it discourage you from getting "The big pack" next time you're shopping for nutrition food.
I know, I know. A couple more weeks of this and then it's jackets off, short pants, and sunglasses until mid-August when it's time to bundle back up and ready yourself for another doozy of a winter. Maybe you should stockpile some of this for the harder, colder months.
- Website
- http://www.caprisun.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/4/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
- Buy Now
- Capri Sun Strawberry Kiwi
Capri Sun Maui Cooler
My dad won a cruise and he gave it to my ladyfriend and I. I’m guessing there is some catch with this thing, but so far all I’ve found is that you have to pay the tax, which is about $150 per person. Also, we have to find our way to a port, which not shockingly is going to be the most expensive part. Here I sit looking into it, daydreaming about tropical locations and I decided to pretend I was a kid and drink a Capri Sun. They market these big boys as being for adults, but we all know they are for kids. I’m sitting here sucking on a chilidog, err I mean a Maui Cooler. I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be a tropical fruit punch, but the main fruits in it are apple, grape and orange (I guess you could consider that tropical if you really wanted to). The only other juice in it is pineapple, which I would expect in a Maui Cooler, but it’s not very present in the flavor. It tastes like a juice box, because that is what it is. It just tastes like a higher quality generic fruit juice. No flavors really stick out. I’m okay with it. It’s not my favorite, but I’m sure kids would be stoked to get these in their lunch boxes.
Now, to cruise, or not to cruise?
- Website
- http://www.caprisun.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/2/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment