Juice (942 reviews)

100% Fruit & Veggies Purple Rain (Beetroot-Apple-Grape-Black Currant)

100% Fruit & Veggies Purple Rain (Beetroot-Apple-Grape-Black Currant)

Do you think this product was named before or after Prince passed away? Not that it really matters, I just find myself curious about marketing strategies. I will choose to believe that whether it happened pre or post, it was meant as a tribute to the greatness that is the 1984 album/movie. I can picture a juicer in a room draped with purple velvet yelling along with Darling Nikki while squeezing the juice from a variety of produce, or you know to a lesser extent humming Computer Blue while mixing concentrates (which compose this juice).

I mean I know beets are more maroon that purple, but I get where they are going with this. Do you think Prince would only drink grape and beet juice to keep up with his image? I’ll choose to believe, yes.

This tastes like an apple-grape juice that has a bit of beet mixed in. I could use it to be a little more beety and taste more like earth. Yes, that is what I want from juice, an earthy flavor. I know it’s not for everyone, but it’s for me. Even without the dirt taste this is still great. It gets a little sweet, so I’m not able to drink more than a small glass at a time, but who needs to drink more than that anyway?

Website
http://www.sparkelbeverages.nl/
Country
Netherlands
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 15th, 2018
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V8 + Energy Kiwi Melon

V8 + Energy Kiwi Melon

Mark, I was happy to come over and help you tear our your kitchen. I mean it’s always great to help out a pal in order to save them some money. The thing is, this is day three of what was supposed to be a couple hour job. As I said, I’m happy to help out a friend, but I’m calling into work for this and old man Jenkins is getting pretty pissed, not to mention my paycheck is going to be light this week. I feel the need to mention that one jar of salsa and a bag of tortilla chips, does not really count as a meal, especially since you are a known salsa addict and eat 80% of it. The one thing I will say is that these energy drinks you picked up are pretty nice. Sure, you forgot to take the tag off of one of them and I see you picked them up at Big Lots for $.80 each, but I’m not one to care about cost, as long as the flavor is there. There is some taste here too. I’d say this is 20% kiwi melon, 70% apple, 5% sucralose, and 5% other. For something that is supposed to be carbonated kiwi melon green tea, it really tastes strongly of carbonated apple juice. That’s not a complaint, more of an observation, so you can put down that pry bar. If you drink it while it’s cold that artificial sweetener doesn’t come through much, but the warmer it gets the more obvious it becomes. Overall it’s pretty tasty and it’s probably the thing I would complain about this situation the least. I’m hungry, jacked up on caffeine, and my body feels like it’s breaking down. Why are there six different layers of flooring on top of the subfloor? Whoever owned this house before you was a real turd, you know that? By the way how much are you saving by us doing this work? $300?!?!?! Are you serious Mark? You know what? Screw you and screw your house and while you’re at it screw your pittance of salsa. I’m taking the rest of this V8 I’m leaving. Yes, you will see me at Margret’s on Saturday for Louie’s birthday and yes I will have gotten over this by then, but as of now. You my friend are the turd.

Website
http://www.v8juice.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 29th, 2017
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Zhivchic Pear

Zhivchic Pear

For a drink that expired six years ago from the Ukraine, this sexy pear drink wasn't too bad.

Website
http://zhivchik.ua/
Country
Ukraine
Sweetener
Couldn't Read Ingredients
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 17th, 2017
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R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Pumpkin Spice

R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Pumpkin Spice

For camping in this chilly autumn weather I really wanted a bottle of Reed's Spiced Apple Brew to sip while I sat at a fire. There is something wonderful about sipping some spiced sparkling apple juice while fire consumes everything it touches in a controlled setting while chatting with some good friends. At the store I discovered that they no longer seemed to stock that particular product (I am more than slightly concerned that it has been discontinued and I need to do some research). While I didn't find what I was looking for I did find this bottle which appeared to be similar, but with pumpkin added to the mix.

So I sat at my campsite and threw a rouge pumpkin I found on the fire and cracked this bottle open. As the fire distorted the face carved into the gourd I sipped on a glass of this sweet treat. It turns out it is very similar to what is one of my favorite drinks that I was bummed I couldn't find. The pumpkin isn't too overpowering and I'd have to say that it is mostly a sparkling apple drink. It is fairly sweet tasting. I could only drink a smallish glass (which is what a human should drink, we don't need to be the gluttons we tend to be). It was very enjoyable for that glass, but I can't imagine drinking more than that in a sitting (or even over an extended period of time). It's good that it's a seasonal product. I hope to enjoy it again next year.

Website
http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 8th, 2017
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Caribe Cana Guava

Caribe Cana Guava

It’s fairly sad that walking through the grocery store and a new fancy juice presents itself to you, and that is the highlight of your day. I guess it is understandable when the juice is guava flavored, one of the elusive fruits that doesn’t make its way into beverage form nearly enough. I personally can’t get enough of this tropical treat.

This is a cold pressed juice from the Dominican Republic. It is simply cane juice, guava puree and filtered water. I shook this bottle with all my might, but the first half of the bottle was fairly weak and was more like a guava flavored water drink rather than a juice. As I pressed on, the taste got stronger with each sip. By the end it tastes like a great guava juice. I was hoping that the entire bottle was going to be a flavorful guava puree, but I will take what I can get when it comes to the world of guava.

Website
http://www.caribejuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Raw Cane Juice
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 11th, 2017
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Telula Blackberry + Chia

Telula Blackberry + Chia

I’m pretty sure that as I was going to take my first sip of this I fell asleep, because surely this must be a dream. This is absolutely wonderful. The only ingredients are blackberry puree and chia seeds. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Blackberries are one of, if not my favorite fruit and chia seeds just make drinks fun. This is 95% juice. That means that blackberries make up 95% of what is contained in this bottle. I wish I could have this flow out of my sink as water currently does. I want a never ending stream of it at the ready. I could drink an Olympic size swimming pool full of this and it still wouldn’t be enough. Are you getting the picture yet? This is perfection.

Website
http://www.drinktelula.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 6th, 2017
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Odwalla Quencher Hotter-Melon

Odwalla Quencher Hotter-Melon

After drinking over 4,000 beverages to review, things can get boring. There is only so much one can say about the same old drinks day in and day out. Sure, I still really enjoy a lot of them, but my inspiration is running dry and that means Thirsty Dudes has slowed down a lot from when we first started seven years ago. I wasn’t even looking for something new to review in the grocery store when I found this. I just really wanted some juice. While I’m in this frame of mind I almost always go for a 100% juice, but when you have a bottle of jalapeno watermelon juice staring you down, you settle for the 20% in order to experience the wild ride it’s inevitably going to take you on. So, sit down, strap yourself in, crack open the bottle and let the adventure begin.

First off, when I opened this up, I hated the way it smelled. It doesn’t smell unpleasant, but it also does not smell how I want a juice to smell. It smells like a liquefied, fruity salad. Lucky for all of us involved it tastes much better than that. The makeup of this juice includes apple, lemon, watermelon, raspberry and jalapeno. The watermelon actually makes up a very small portion of the ingredients, but I’ll give it to them for leaning on it to have a great name for the juice. Instead of tasting just like a spicy watermelon juice, this is more of a spicy fruit punch. It is a great fruit punch though, where you can make out the individual fruits used and not just a general hodgepodge of sweetness. I’d also like to note that the spiciness of it is not overwhelming either. The pepper is there as more of a flavor than a heat factor. The more you drink the hotter it gets, but it never gets to a critical level.

This is now someone’s favorite drink. It’s not mine, but I certainly appreciate it for being something new and unusual. It’s not the type of thing that I would drink the entire 15oz bottle of in one sitting, but I have found myself continuously going back to it throughout the day to take a sip here or there. There are different kinds of beverages in the world and this is the kind you sip and ponder.

Website
http://www.odwalla.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 3rd, 2017
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Natalie's Orange Beet

Natalie's Orange Beet

I spend far too much time reflecting back on my trip to Mexico last winter. I didn’t go to any resorts, or the coast. I toured with friends’ band and we hit the major cities and were in the real deal heart of the country. I even had an interaction with a member of a cartel, who happened to be at a show and really liked the band. I only knew because he was bragging to me about his custom made suit that was bullet and stab proof. What a life. I actually never think much about those things, but I always find my mind wandering to the food and drinks I consumed there. My outlook on tacos has forever been changed. I’m glad to have experienced them in their true form, but now the ones back home are lacking and leave me wanting. Another thing I had a lot of was juice, which was obscenely cheap for fresh squeezed varieties. My favorites were the orange/carrot juice that I had with my morning tacos every day and what I believe was hibiscus beet juice that I would buy in the markets. They were both incredible in their own ways, and this juice is like a combination of them both (minus a few ingredients). It’s simply oranges and beets juiced with nothing else added and it is completely fantastic, to an extent that it is kind of dangerous. I feel like I could consume mass amounts of this if I wasn’t paying attention. Would that really be such a bad thing though? It’s just juice and it tastes so fresh and healthy. I already want another bottle. So long savings account.

Website
http://www.orchidislandjuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 31st, 2017
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Natalie's Honey Tangerine

Natalie's Honey Tangerine

When I first saw this I thought it was going to be tangerine juice with honey in it. I salivated at the thought. When I looked at it I realized that it’s just a type of tangerine. I was a little disappointed until I took as sip and I realized that it didn’t need the honey, not at all. This is nothing but juice of the previously mentioned fruit, and it needs nothing else. Sure it’s a little acidic, but what do you expect? I think I might get a stomach ache if I drank too much, but this bottle is the perfect size for such a wonderful juice.

Website
http://www.orchidislandjuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 29th, 2017
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Telula Green Fusion

Telula Green Fusion

I’ve spied this little fella right here for quite a while at my local Target when scoping out other drinks. I will admit that I am cheap and the $5-6 price tag on it always left me picking it up, looking at it for far longer than I needed to, realizing that I look like an idiot, and then putting it back on the shelf after a quick glance left and right. Sure it looked great, but I couldn’t bring myself to pay that much for a juice that wasn’t perishable. Is there a difference? Probably, but it’s also just a mental thing for me. When something needs to be refrigerated I just assume that it is fresher than something that sits on the shelf. Well cut to a few days ago when I’m at Aldi to pick up some carrots to feed the ponies. Yeah I hang out with ponies on a somewhat regular basis. What can I say I live a charmed life. Anyway, at Aldi I see a bunch of these and they are two for $5. Now that is a price I can accept, so I picked this and a bottle of the blackberry chia up.

So now that my penny pinching has been explained away, let’s actually talk about this beverage. It is a cold pressed juice that is composed of spinach, apples, kale, lettuce, cucumber, celery, green tea leaves, and a bunch of mint thrown in to make the whole thing weird, but also wonderful. There is both spearmint and peppermint in here and they make up at least half of the flavor. It truly is strange. I’ve never had minty vegetables before, and you know what? I don’t hate it.

Once you make your way past the tidal wave of mint you get to a juice that tastes very much like the vegetables that make it up. It definitely tastes like I’m drinking a minty salad, but somehow I mean that in a good way. I wish they would have held off on the celery, because it’s one of those foods that always taste far too strong for me. I love celery on its own, but mixed in with other vegetables it’s so overpowering.

This is way different from what I anticipated it to be, but I will definitely be purchasing some more of it if I can continue purchasing it at this price.

Website
http://www.drinktelula.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 22nd, 2017
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