Juice (942 reviews)

Black River Pink Guava

Black River Pink Guava

Deep in the heart of the rainforests of Canada the Black River flows. It is an anomaly of the country. Every fruit ever imaginable grows on the banks of this river. Who knew that tropical fruit could grow just north of Moosejaw, Saskatchewan? On the southern banks of the river is where the guava orchard exists. Unfortunately the ground isn’t very suitable for this plant, so the fruit it bears is not as wonderful from that that grows in reality. The Canadians aren’t ones to waste anything so they still decided to bottle the mediocre juice.

I wish that were the actual case, but the downfall of this juice is that it is more of a mixture of grape and apple juice than it is guava puree. The other juices take away from the exquisiteness that is guava. It’s a shame for sure.

Website
http://www.blackriverjuice.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 12th, 2012
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Kiki Maple Sweet Water Seasons with Blueberry Juice

Kiki Maple Sweet Water Seasons with Blueberry Juice

Kiki darling, I simply could not eat a single pancake more. Why whatever are we to do with all of these buckets of left over maple syrup? Don’t give me that look. I have already eaten 37 of them, and they were all slathered with the delicious syrup you bought, but I simply could not eat another bite. To make matters worse the syrup is in open buckets for some strange reason, and we haven’t a thing to cover them. The rodents that run rampant on our palatial estate will devour it for certain and I can’t bear to see it go to waste in such a manner.

Wait, why don’t we water it down with some…well water and then we can store it in those ridiculous jugs your brother keeps bringing home. I don’t care if it’s buy a jug to take home down at the mead pub, those things are ridiculous, and until now useless. Hmm. Maple water is all fine and dandy, but I think we may have watered it down a bit too much. There is only the faintest tinge of maple in the flavor, but it does give it a nice sweetness. How about we add some of those blueberries you picked, but forgot to put on my pancakes? Oh well that made it a great deal better. It now tastes like a watered down lightly sweetened blueberry juice. I wish the blueberry flavor was a bit stronger, but we did have to spread it though all of these dumb jugs. I have no real complaints about it though. I bet the townfolks would love to try some. Why don’t you go take a few jugs down to them? Oh and Kiki, you’re the best helper monkey ever.

Website
http://www.trollbridgecreek.ca/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Maple Syrup
Categories
Juice, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 24th, 2013
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Nativa Organics Graepfruit Flavoured Drink

Nativa Organics Graepfruit Flavoured Drink

Color me jealous that this is a Canadian drug stores’ house brand. Why can’t Walgreens, CVS or Rite Aid have products this good? I live right near a couple of stores and I would walk to them more often for a drink such as this. It’s simply carbonated mineral water and juice. It’s a mixture of grapefruit, grape, lemon and apple juices, but it really just tastes like someone juiced a grapefruit into some sparkling water. I’m assuming the apple juice is there to sweeten it up a tad, as while it is fairly bitter, it’s not over the top face making bitter. It’s great regardless, and I wish it were available in the States. Looks like I will be stocking up the next time I head up to Canada.

Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 3rd, 2013
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True Blue Wild Blueberry

True Blue Wild Blueberry

This is going to be half review, half reminiscence, and half celebrators since this is our 3000th review. Since all of them have to happen at the same time, let's just start with the Thirsty Dudes ode to new drinks. Jay and I went to Toronto and stopped periodically at multiple shops. Our love for Thirsty Dudes is international. We travel beyond both state and country lines just in order to get drinks. This is a juice. I had to present my passport to get juice. Come on. Would you do that? You might? We do. When we are on vacation, we do it big. I went to Brooklyn this past weekend on an impromptu "vacation" and number one thing on my list was to get local root beer. Come on. What a waste of time but we love it. We're in Canada and there is a Whole Foods. We bought a ton of stuff, like forty drinks each, and yes, like this one, some of them were "house brand" but things need to get done. Drinks need to get drank. Sure, it took me well over two months to drink it but hey, we've got a cache of drinks. This, finally, was pretty good. It's about time that I get a nice, high quality juice. It's got a good blueberry taste but is dense. It's flavorful and bold. It's not cut with anything. I could have stretched this out probably 25% just by watering it down and it still would have been good.

In hindsight, this is not my favorite juice. It never was, but I'm summing it all up. Wrapping it up in a little package. It's good, I mean look, I gave it a four out of five. That's good, but this is the 3000th review. This should have been reserved for something epic like a cherry flavored slime with sparkles in it. I would have loved to reserve that for ol' Bernie Mac but we can't wait too long or we're not going to have reviews.

You know us. We don't only review good stuff. We review good stuff poorly and bad stuff well. We make up stories, tall tales, fish tales, and reflect on our past. We bring our family, friends, past relationships, and dreams into our reviews. You get to see inside our deranged minds with a lot of reviews and it gives you an insight into our lives and the people we are. We're three dudes that are friends that are creative idiots that like to drink stuff because it gives us something to talk about.

We talked about what we were going to do and the only thing we could think about was having a pizza party at a place that has been closed for probably twenty years that we each went to when we were eight and playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game and then talking about the advantages of each specific turtle. We're immature kids. We're dumb idiots. We love what we do. Thanks for letting us get to 3000. Tell your friends.

Website
http://www.leadingbrandsinc.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 14th, 2013
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Fruitopia Strawberry Passion Awareness

Fruitopia Strawberry Passion Awareness

Remember when you were a kid and you would drop something, like ice cream on the street, and the next day you would walk down that very street and there would be a seemingly infinite amount of ants on it? I feel like if you spilled some of this on the ground, ants would come from all corners of the earth. Anyone who has a dog knows that you could be anywhere in the house and if you as much as touch a receptacle with food in it, the dog is right there, faithfully by your feet. Fruitopia is like that to ants.

Doing my most careful attempt at not spilling any in fear that ants would inhabit my body as a home for themselves, I drank this perhaps faster than I needed to. It was good, though, so it wasn't like I had to choke it down. It was, quite literally, a strawberry juice with passion fruit in it. Not an inventive review, I know, but there are no clever branding techniques or misinterpreted messages. Strawberries and passion fruit: Done and done. Check and check.

I finished the can at night and did an attempt to take a picture on a building ledge but was unsatisfied so I left it in my car to take a picture of today with the fear that I would open my door and a frightening mass of ants would just fall out like the world's most awful prank.

Website
http://www.minute-maid.de/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar and/or Glucose Fructose
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 2nd, 2013
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Grace Tropical Rhythms Island Mango

Grace Tropical Rhythms Island Mango

I could go for some nice tropical rhythms. It’s getting cold here in Buffalo and I started to get ready for the inevitable winter. I put away all of the lawn furniture and I started putting plastic up on the windows I live in an old apartment and the windows don’t do much for keeping out the cold drafts). I could use a nice little island retreat before I get into the icy slump of winter.

Unfortunately this drink didn’t give me the feeling of hanging out in the sun with the waves crashing and some weird birds cawing. The title would leave one to believe that this is a nice mango juice from concentrate. One sip and I knew that there was some carrot in the mix. It’s not strong, but it’s a flavor that I have grown to notice in drinks. I have no problem with carrots being added to beverages, as the health boost is appreciated. I just like knowing that it’s in there beforehand. I do dislike the use of HFCS. All of the other Grace products I’ve tried have used real sugar, and that is always preferred. The sweetener in this gives it a weird syrupy taste that I could do without. I understand high fructose corn syrup in soda to an extent, but adding it to juice just seems completely unnecessary.

Had this been sweetened with sugar, or had no added sweeteners, and been labeled mango carrot I can guarantee I would have had a more pleasant ride with it. Now someone bring me more blankets. I refuse to turn my heat on before Thanksgiving.

Website
http://www.gracefoods.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 29th, 2013
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Treehugger Organics Organic Blueberry, Lime, & Pomegranate

Treehugger Organics Organic Blueberry, Lime, & Pomegranate

I can tell you that I got this in Canada and I can tell you that Jay and I had a wonderful time eating sandwiches and talking about music and I think we might have seen Cheap Girls with Jay's lady friend but what I couldn't tell you is how long this drink would sit around and not get drank. Did it deserve its purgatory both in a box and on a shelf? No. It should have been drunk sooner because it was rather good. You know, for all intents and purposes, porpoises (?), no, it's purposes, it's just a fruit punch.

No one ever defined what fruit had to be in a fruit punch but here in America, we have really been, figuratively speaking I hope, crapping the bed. Yeah, you've got some cherries and some grapes. Maybe even a crossover blueberry and/or pear. What you don't have is pomegranate and why not? Sure they're a little expensive but there are so many little bits of joy in there that one could go a long way. This drink tastes like a pretty honest and good blend of both blueberry and pomegranate, which doesn’t happen too often, but when you don't have sugar, real or fake, mucking up the mix, you can actually taste ingredients. Novel idea, eh? The "eh" was an homage to Canada who produced this drink and allowed my to have an internationally good time with Jay, my dogg.

Website
http://www.treehuggerorganics.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 19th, 2014
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Just Craft Soda Apple and Ginger Flavour

Just Craft Soda Apple and Ginger Flavour

Craft beer has been all the rage for a few years now, and I am ever so pleased that the soda game is moving in that direction. The older I get, the harder it is for me to drink an entire can/bottle of regular soda. I blame the corn syrup, but it’s really just the general sweetness. I’ve grown into an old man who prefers seltzer water over pop in most instances. It’s a strange world I’m in and I don’t think I like it. I actually don’t like much these days. It just happens that this soda is one of the few things that has brought me enjoyment recently. I was on a trip to Canada and I stopped in a grocery store, not expecting to find much and came across a slew of Just Craft Soda flavors. I think each and every one caught my eyes, but there was no way that I could say no to an apple and ginger soda. It was 90+ degrees out and as soon as I walked out into that sweltering heat I popped the cap off of this bottle and melted into a puddle of delicious soda.

I’m shocked that ginger isn’t listed in the ingredients list because from the taste I would have assumed it was one of the main ingredients. I can only assume it falls under the natural flavours (note the spelling). The only other things listed are fruit juice, carbonated water and cane sugar. It’s a simple soda with a big taste. Whenever ginger and apple are mixed it makes me think of the Autumn, which is a great time of year, but saddens me because it’s a reminder that summer is winding down. While I can do without this heat wave I have done a lot of summer activities this year and the thought of an approaching winter is enough to make someone want to give up and move to warmer climates. No matter what the season though I would be thoroughly enjoying this soda. This is like someone’s parents cut up an apple for their lunch and sprinkled a little lemon juice on it to avoid browning and also decided to get fancy and grate a little ginger on it. Man this imaginary kid has the most thoughtful parents. All I got in my lunch was a peanut butter sandwich and some gummy fruits. They totally win, especially because I never got the white Shark Bite.

Website
http://justcraftsoda.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice, Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 20th, 2015
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Apple & Eve Farmers Market Bountiful Berry

Apple & Eve Farmers Market Bountiful Berry

I made it through New Year’s Eve.2016 was behind me. I finished up the party I was DJing (not in the turd way. I play dumb old music people actually want to hear not electronic noise). I started driving home. I sneezed. That was the end of everything. That one little sneeze shut down my body. I made it home, climbed into bed and violently shook to the point that I wondered if I was having a seizure for hours. The next day I was conscious for maybe two a half hours. This morning I woke up and my body was ready for nourishment again. I drank tons of water and this carton of juice. While the water made it so I wasn’t like a dried out husk, this juice gave me a reason to keep on living and not just wither away.

This is nothing but juice, the whole juice and nothing but the juice (again). There are seven different fruits that make it up and I love each and every one of them for the hope they have inspired in me. Well, maybe not banana. They are still gross. Apples, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and pineapple; I salute you and your delicious ways. It’s really all of the berries doing the work though. You can taste a faint hint of the apple juice base, but the pineapple is eluding my taste buds.

I’m on my way to recovery and I’m sure several more cartons of this will help me on my way. Maybe I’ll even be on solid foods again someday.

Website
http://www.appleandeve.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 2nd, 2017
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Apple & Eve Organics Tropical Mango

Apple & Eve Organics Tropical Mango

I wish I lived in a perfect world. A world where everything wasn’t such a mess. A world where everything wasn’t falling apart before my eyes. A world where juice was nothing but the fruit it was named after, especially when it’s 100% juice. I want mangos, nothing but mangos. I want it to be thick and syrupy, so I can pretend that I am taking a nice big bite of the most perfectly ripe mango. Since this carton cost me a little over a dollar, I should have known that wasn’t going to be the case. How could the company afford it? They would be operating at a loss. Instead they have to mix in some other, cheaper fruits to keep the price point down, but retain the 100% juice certification. I’m sure they proudly display their certificate in their offices. I certainly would, right next to my framed dollar bill.

The other juices in here besides the coveted mango are apple, banana, carrot and orange. That is a lot of juice. The apple takes up the bulk of it. There is even more apple than mango, lucky for us mango is a stronger flavor and overpowers it. You can taste the apple, but it still tastes stronger of mango. The banana is oh so faint, but I still kind of hate knowing that it’s there, contaminating this juice even if it’s only slightly. The carrots and the orange just kind of blend it and are hardly noticeable. I would definitely call this a mango-apple juice. I think I might enjoy it more if they just were honest with the name. It tastes great, but my taste buds were expecting something a bit different. Now sit back and watch the rest of the horror in this world unfold before your eyes.

Website
http://www.appleandeve.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 7th, 2017
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