Juice (942 reviews)

Purity Organic Superjuice Blackberry Apple Chia

Purity Organic Superjuice Blackberry Apple Chia

Dear World, Can we please put a memoritorium on adding banana juice/puree that are not specifically banana flavored things? I understand that they are fairly healthy and work as a nice thickening agent, but it's normally such an overwhelming flavor, and I for one am not a fan of it. So many juices in my life have been ruined by the inclusion of this dumb mushy fruit. Luckily Purity Organic used it sparingly, and while I could still detect it, it did not overpower the rest of the flavors. If this were a lesser drink I would have had a sip or two and left the rest to someone else, but Purity does not mess around and minus the folly of banana I really enjoyed it.

The other ingredients are apple, chia, blackberry, red beet, ginger and blueberry. That is quite the team they have assembled and some weird early 90's cartoon could have been based around them fighting evil. Saturdays mornings were strange during that time in our nations history. The chia has been ground up, and instead of juice there is puree used. The result is that this is fairly thick in an interesting way. All of the flavors are present, but the apple and blackberry are the leaders of this crime-fighting gang, hence they got top billing. I think in season two we are going to find out that banana is really a double agent and things are going to get interesting.

Website
http://www.purityorganic.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 26th, 2015
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V8 Energy Orange Pineapple

V8 Energy Orange Pineapple

Tommy, you have been drinking far too many energy drinks. I can assure you that they are not improving your gaming skills. Sure, they might help you stay up until the early hours of the morning, but you're a teenage you should have no problem staying up that late anyway. I mean you don't wake up until noon. Fine, I can't handle your whining, you can have some sort of energy drink, but it has to be one of these natural ones and not that chemical swill you and your friends like to down. Also, you have to agree to go outside and have fun with your friends. Go and cause a little trouble, you're young that's what you're supposed to do, not sit in front of the TV all summer. Good, then it's a deal. Here have this can of V8. Don't look at me like that it isn't that gross tomato juice stuff, V8 has expanded their line. This is sweet potato and carrot juice with fruit juice and green tea extract mixed in. Trust me, it tastes fantastic. You don't even notice the juices except for the orange and pineapple. It has some underlying flavor that I can't really place, but it just makes it taste more interesting.

Tommy, the thing about this energy drink is that it won't give you the jitters and will make you actually play your games better with steady hands. See I'm looking out for you. It's just caffiene and B vitamins. It's also on the healthier side because it's 34% juice and it's low in calories. I know you don't care about these things, but I'm your parent and it's my duty to look out for you when it comes to these things. Okay now live up to your end of the deal and go outside. I'm calling Johnny house and if you're there you're grounded mister!

Website
http://www.v8juice.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 26th, 2015
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V8 V-Fusion Orange Pineapple Energy Drink, 8 Fl Oz Cans (Pack of 24)

Salad Power + Pineapple

Salad Power + Pineapple

This smells terrible. It doesn't make sense because it tastes totally different. I hate to describe it to V8 but it's essentially a slightly sweeter V8. So why didn't I finish the carton? It got old. I don't know what makes V8 different. It could be the viscosity. This is thin. Almost like a more traditional juice. I have no idea short of them super juicing everything that comes through the front door about how they get it so thin. What's the advantage of that? Leave a little oomph in there, why don't you? The thinner the juice, the more waste you probably have. What are you doing with the waste, huh? Hopefully feeding it to turtles. Turtles love juice waste. I know this for a fact. I know that this an average drink that tastes better than it smells and that turtles love to eat the waste of juicing.

Website
http://www.drinksaladpower.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 18th, 2015
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'Tude Cold Pressed Juice Marionberry Apple Juice

'Tude Cold Pressed Juice Marionberry Apple Juice

Son, I know I'm being a terrible parent by saying this, but you're being a little jerk. If you keep acting this way no one is going to like you. You'll have no friends and as you grow older you'll get picked on more and more and you'll eventually sit at lunch all alone. These are the kinds of things that lead to sociopathic behavior. You don't want to be a sociopath do you? I'm glad you said no. I mean you're only two and obviously have no idea what that word means, but I appreciate that you can understand the seriousness in my voice. It's time to make a change son. The world doesn't revolve around you and the sooner you learn that the better. Then you can work on a decent life for yourself and maybe find some happiness in this life that most people seem to miss. Let's start today son. This all started because you wanted a soda pop. I don't know how you even know what that is at your age. Actually I do; it's your grandmother isn't it? She's determined to give you all the garbage food your body can consume. Listen to me son, don't go down that route. Stay healthy. It will give you an advantage when this world finally goes to hell and it's everyone for themselves. Instead of that soda have this little bottle of juice. It's called 'tude and that's exactly where you need to make an adjustment in your life. As you slurp down this moderately priced cold pressed juice think of the ways you can improve your attitude so that you can make something of yourself, and I don't mean just make a bunch of money. I mean ways in which you can do something you love and survive without becoming a financial burden on others. It's marionberry and green apple juice mixed. How could you go wrong with that. It's delicious and it's nice and tart. The way that it tastes like something along the lines of acai or pomegranate slightly lets you know that it's chock full of antioxidants. Antioxidants son, they are an important thing....Please ignore most of what I just said. I wasn't built to have kids and I haven't slept in days. I'm delirious son. You should probably forget about the part when I said I wasn't meant to have kids. I love you son, but you really make it difficult to do that sometimes.

Website
http://www.tudejuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 18th, 2015
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Salad Power Original

Salad Power Original

It's no surprise that I need to eat more vegetables. It's true. I need it. If I could drink this all the time, I would be sure to lose weight and probably be in better shape than I am now. I love to eat, man. What do you want from me? I live in a city that has great food. Enough about me, though. Let's talk about you.

You're a real chunker, man. You need help. I shouldn't be drinking this. You should. Here. What do you think? It's good, right? A little strange, right? It almost tastes like there are onions in there but I think it's a mix between the kale and the tomato. That gives it a little strange taste. Once you get past that, it's decent. Yes. Decent. I feel the heath surging through my veins and it's doing my body good.

I think that after drinking this for lunch, I can slam a killer dinner involving steaks and potatoes and some sort of chocolate molten lava cake. Yes. It has been decided.

Website
http://www.drinksaladpower.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 11th, 2015
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Salad Power + Apple

Salad Power + Apple

Now Marty, I just came over to say how sorry I am about last night. We both know that things got out of hand, and under any normal circumstance I never would have hit you the way I did. You just have to understand I can be a passionate man, and when you go around literally yelling from a rooftop that the Red Hot Chili Peppers are the greatest American rock band of all time and that Anthony Kiedis is a god you have to expect a right cross to the chin.

I’m not here apologizing for punching you, but I am here to express regret that I broke your jaw, and that it is now wired shut. There’s going to be a lot of time passing before you can eat solid foods again. I know how much you love your daily salad, so I brought you over a bunch of these Salad Power drinks. They are essentially what you would have if you made a salad and then threw it in a juicer, sans the dressing of course. Try this one. It’s got kale, celery, carrot, bell pepper, cucumber, tomato, spinach and to mix things up a bit there is also a little apple in it. How does it taste? I can’t understand you Marty, you just sounds like mumbles. Just hand it over and I’ll give it a taste. Well that really does taste like a liquefied salad, and the apple gives it a nice sweetness that would take away the need for dressing that most people would probably have. You can really make out all of the flavors. The apple is definitely the strongest though. Also, this really does not smell very good, but at least you’ll be able to get your nutrients and the taste of the salad you love. What’s that? I still can’t understand you. Why don’t you write it down? “This would be better if it had chili peppers in it because RHCP are the greatest band ever!” Man, you really are asking for it Marty.

Website
http://www.drinksaladpower.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 5th, 2015
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VBlast Dragonfruit

VBlast Dragonfruit

"What happened to the powder?" sounds like something a cocaine addict would say but instead, I am saying that about what I thought was in the cap of the VBlast stuff. "What happened to the powder?" I exclaimed at work as I punctured the cap residing receptacle and liquid came out. I wanted to shake endlessly but instead, all I got was an instantly mixed diet drink that tastes roughly like every other "red diet" drink I've ever had. I've eaten a dragonfruit…a real one. I paid over seven dollars for it and at that price, I shall never forget it. This might not even have it in there. It just tastes like some drink an eighties receptionist would give to you if she offered you juice and really just gave you, generously, a glass of Crystal Light.

Thank you, Sharon, but I need dat powder. It's the eighties and I've got on a houndtooth sport coat, jeans and have a craving for nose candy if you know what I mean.

Website
http://www.vblast.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Juice, Mix/Concentrate, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 4th, 2015
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Welch's Farmer's Pick Blackberry

Welch's Farmer's Pick Blackberry

I have never met a child that didn’t love grape juice. I believe it is nationally the preferred juice of pre-teens. It has a slight harshness to it, while still being sweet and delicious that makes it incredibly alluring. I know I still love it as an adult, but I rarely drink it because I tend to go overboard, which leads to stomach aches. Why am I talking about grape juice when I should be filling your mind with tales of perhaps the greatest fruit ever to exist, the blackberry? Well the fact of the matter is that even though this is labeled as a blackberry juice it’s mostly grape juice with pear juice coming in second. It is still 100% juice but a smaller percent that I would like it to be is actually blackberry juice. I mean for a $3 price tag I wasn’t expecting pure blackberry, so this isn’t really a letdown. What it is is still delicious. It’s like someone poured a glass of grape juice and dumped a handful of fresh ripe blackberries in it (even though there are no chunks in here). It’s mostly grape but the unmistakable flavor of the dark berry is definitely there and it does nothing but improve an already great juice. As for the pear juice, who cares? Pears are boring and it’s normally used to add sweetness with a flavor that is hard to locate.

I would probably pay dumb money for a full glass of straight ripe blackberry juice, but I will happily accept this less expensive substitute all day long…until that previously mentioned stomach ache shows up and ruins my party.

Website
http://www.welchs.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 28th, 2015
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Welch's Welch's Farmers Pick Blackberry Juice, 46 Oz

Martinelli's Gold Medal Sparkling Cider

Martinelli's Gold Medal Sparkling Cider

All the protein. I need all of it. I need to bulk up. Who has time for the gym. I'm going to slam all of the chocolate milks just to see what it would look like if I was chiseled out of marble. Wait...that's not how that works? I just cancelled my gym membership and in exchange spent my membership fee on chocolate milk. I've already drank eleven of them today.

Am I going to be alright? What poisoning? Protein poisoning? Really? Oh man. What do I do? Can I do a cranberry cleanse or something? Do I need to make myself throw up? Eleven milks. I can't believe I did that. How? Well it actually wasn't that hard. It tastes like a melted Wendy's Frosty. Who couldn't drink 154 ounces of Frosty. 154 ounces of chocolate milk? Oh man.

This day will go down in infamy as the one of the dumbest days of my life. I've got to reverse this by going on a cleanse. At least it wasn't a really rich, thick chocolate milk and was closer to the stuff you would make at home. I might have really put on some pounds. I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Probably a big poop. Hopefully a big poop.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 26th, 2015
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S. Martinelli & Co. Sparkling Apple Cider, 8.40-Ounce (Pack of 12)

Pickle Juice Shot

Pickle Juice Shot

During my college years I went to way too many shows. As a result I was broke most of the time and unfortunately I had to miss even more shows than I went to because of a lack of cash flow. One day my friends were hanging out at my place and they were all going to see some bands play. I can’t for the life of me remember who, but I remember I was bummed that I didn’t have money to go. I had so little money that my dinner was pickles, mozzarella cheese and mustard sandwiches. My friend Jill offered to pay my way into the show if I chugged all of the juice that was left in the pickle jar. Being young and dumb I gulped it down without a second thought. It was a big jar and there was a lot of juice involved. As a result I did not feel all that well during the aftermath, but we went to the show and I’ll assume I had a good time. Here I am 15+ years later and I remember nothing about the show, but I can very clearly recall the way my stomach felt after chugging so much pickle juice. I am also about to take a show of pickle juice to review on my dumb website about beverages. I love pickles, but I am not looking forward to this because of my memories. Oh well here goes nothing.

Yup, that tastes just like pickle juice. My friend asked what they did with all of the pickles they used to make the juice from. While I would love to say that all of the pickles at some restaurant or another were associated with this juice I think it’s pretty safe to say that this is just a culmination of all the ingredients used to make dill pickles, minus the actual cucumber. My stomach feels okay. It’s certainly weird to drink just pickle juice, but it’s wasn’t horrible. I feel like I just ate a whole mess of pickles and I’m okay with that.

The purpose of this drink is that it is supposed to help with muscle cramping, so it is helpful while exercising. I’m about to paint the ceiling of my deck, so I’m sure my neck and shoulder will be feeling not so great afterwards. Here’s to hoping this helps.

Website
http://www.goldenpicklejuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Shot
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 24th, 2015
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Buy Now
Pickle Juice Shots - 48 Count Case 4/12 Retail Ready 12packs
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