Juice (470 reviews)
Fizz Ed. Pure Fruit Juice & Sparkling Water Red Raspberry
Welcome to the first day of Fizz Ed. My name is Christopher Fabiano and I will be your instructor for the semester. I see a bunch of you have changed into gym shorts and tee shirts with sports logos on them. Those of you that have, like so many before you, are mistaken as to what class you have enrolled in. I understand your confusion due to the fact that we meet in the school's gymnasium and I admit the name can be confusing, especially to the youth of today who's grammar and spelling has gone right down the pooper due to computers and texting. This class is not I repeat IS NOT physical education. It is in fact Fizz Education, or the study of carbonation and more importantly soda and other fizzy beverages. Yes this class is a dream come true for some, but for those of you who are upset about this, there are withdrawal slips by the door. No one's feelings will be hurt if you walk out that door.
Okay now that everyone but six of you have left let's get down to business. Basically this semester we will learn the science behind soda and by the end of the semester you will be brewing your own. All you stoner slackers out there, I know you're thinking that you can use this knowledge to brew your own beer. Well, I hate to break it to you, but that is a different process altogether and while it is interesting the school board won't let me teach it. I mean come on it's a shock that this class exists at all.
Before we start can anyone tell me the difference between soda pop and sparkling juice? No one? Well this is certainly going to be a long semester. Okay the difference really boils down to the amount of sugar added to the drink. I'm glad so many people left because I only have a handful of cans to share with everyone. So take one and pass the bag to the person next to you. What you now hold in your hands is a near perfect example of a sparkling juice. It is also a brand I created to help me in teaching this class. Like the name? Ideally I would have used fresh fruit juice, but with budget cuts what they are I had to settle with using concentrates. I then added carbonated water, and bam magic was made. Notice I did not add any sweeteners. The fruit juice is nice and sweet as it is and it makes for a wonderfully refreshing drink. For this batch I used red raspberries and I think you can really taste it. Of course due to those aforementioned budget cuts I couldn't use pure raspberry juice, so I cut it with apple juice. You can slightly taste the apples, but it still is mostly raspberry. It truly is a wonderful thing if I do say so myself.
For the next time we meet I want you each to write a 25-page paper describing the evolution of soda and how it differs from sparkling juices. What did you think this was going to be a blow off class? Think again!
- Website
- http://www.fizz-ed.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/9/2012
Cozzo Qbic Mango Fruit Juice Drink
Here’s another treat from Editor Dan. That lucky so-and-so went up to Toronto to see Portishead. I was poor at the time tickets went on sale, and I missed out on my opportunity. Whenever I hear Portishead I think of a French club. It's dark, smoky and everything is slightly illuminated red. Portishead is playing over the PA and everyone is just getting down and slowly grinding on each other. During this scene in my head everyone is smoking for some reason. It's a very specific vision, and I think it's hysterical. It's also hysterical that Portishead would lead into a review for this drink, because the only way this drink would seem more inappropriate in that scene is if it came in juice boxes. This drink pretty much embodies the concept of fun. Portishead is not fun. They are wonderful, dark, mysterious and sexy, but they are not fun. This is a sugary sweet mango drink that taste way more like the juice you would lick from your fingers when trying to open a mango without the proper utensils than you would expect from a drink that comes in such packaging. Also, it has little cubed bits of nada de coco, which makes the drink even more fun. I love it when appropriate drinks have nada de coco in them. In this it's like there are tiny bits (of hardened) mango in it. I love trying to chew on them.
No you shouldn't drink this while listening to trip hop. I think some ska punk would be more up to speed. Less Than Jake I'm looking in your direction.
- Country
- Malaysia
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/4/2012
Archer Farms Blackberry Blueberry
Blackberry and blueberry? Is there a line that I can draw a giant, red "x" on because I want it. Oh, I can simply pay a little more than $2 and buy it? I suppose that is just as easy. Mix in water? Childs play. No problem. I can mix stuff and remember not to breath while the deadly fruit dust occupies my nasal cavities.
Oh...hold on a second here. What went wrong? Sixteen ounces of water, check. Mix, check. Mixed, check. Clean glass? Check. What's the deal? It smells great. Inviting. I keep going back for more but why? It has a bit of a bitter taste to it. It tastes like water first, or just wildly weak juice, which is strange, then like a sucralose taste, even those there aren't any unnatural sweeteners. I'm counting Stevia as a natural sweetener here, folks. It's almost bitter and it is not until the end when you get a woosh of fruit and cool Stevia sweetness. Yes, the final battle is worth coming back for more and I have almost finished my entire glass, but at what cost?
If you are down with diet drinks, this will be an easy fight for you. If you, like me, saw a naturally diet drink mix that comes in delicious flavors and think that you are on to something, you are only half right.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Extract
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/3/2012
Ocho Rios Nectar Mango Carrot
From the beverages I've drunk recently I have come to the conclusion that Jamaica was once a part of Canada. It was the 11th province. Like modern day Quebec the fine citizens of Jamaica wanted to become a sovereign nation. They petitioned for years and made no progress. Finally a group of radicals strategically planted explosives and broke Jamaica free from the rest of Canada. They were happy to just be separated and declared their independence. It was a happy accident that the coastal tides dragged their country south into a tropical region.
Canada is still bitter, but they have embraced the new beverages that come out of the now sunny and warm Jamaica. One such drink is a combination of mango and carrot juice. Okay it's pulp and puree, but that might actually make it better. It's mostly mango, with just the slightest hint of carrot. You really don't taste the carrots at all unless you breathe through your nose (especially with the nectar still in your mouth). It has a nice consistency that is not overly thick, but more so than a normal juice.
Good work Jamaica. You have succeeded where Quebec has failed. In freedom, as well as in the world of beverages.
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/31/2011
Uni-President White Gourd Tea
I knew that soursop had another name, and I like soursop. It's nice and fruity. I had it in my mind grapes that white gourd was soursop under a different name. I sat down ready to enjoy a nice fruit blast. I didn't get that. I didn't get that at all. Instead I got a mouthful of "cereal tea." My ladyfriend says it tastes like the Japanese dessert mochi. She's right it does, and I don't like those either.
You can take a sip of this and hold it in your mouth for as long as you can hold your breath, and all you will taste is a weak sweet tea. The moment you swallow and breathe it's all cereal and rice. The fact that this comes in a juice box is mind bottling. Maybe children in Taiwan are just accustomed to this flavor. If you gave this to Joe-Schmoe elementary school student I bet they would slap you in your face. I wouldn't blame them. Now I really wish I had some soursop.
- Website
- http://www.uni-president.com/
- Country
- Taiwan
- Sweetener
- Couldn't Read Ingredients
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/27/2011
Argumento Italian Soda Red Orange
Dear Italy, Why have I never graced your shores? I feel like I have been nearby several times, but we never made the leap into the birthplace of pasta and organized crime. You are the home to many great things, and I think you deserve for me to visit and show some respect. I promise I will do so in the next few years. We'll have a quiet little date. We'll eat some real deal homemade pasta and sauce and you'll sip on a nice wine while I down glass after glass of the soda that is your namesake. I have to say that I may actually enjoy the soda more than your conversation. You know I don't speak Italian. I understand you're trying to make a point, but when I don't understand a thing you're saying the meaning you're trying to convey is lost. How about you just give in and speak English, just for a little while. The soda on the other hand speaks a language that everyone can understand (well except diabetic). It's the language of flavor. You Italy are more intelligent than most. You may have been the first to carbonate your juices, and didn't give up on the practice. You kept right on trucking. I assume that red oranges are the same as blood orange. If not they sure taste the same. It has a tarter, bolder orange flavor. It's the top of the evolution tree of oranges. They aren't going to get better than this. You took this miracle fruit and added just a little bit of sugar and some nice bubbles and you have something close to perfection.
It might be the soda talking, but you're looking pretty good tonight Italy. Oh you have a little bit of sauce on your cheek. No, not that side the other side. Down a little. To the right. Okay it's gone. Now you have some basil in your teeth....
- Country
- Italy
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/26/2011
Odwalla C Monster Strawberry C
I always think that Odwalla is on the bottom of the trio of Odwalla, Naked and Bolthouse juices. I call them the big three, because they are the three companies that are readily available pretty much anywhere in the USA. I think I must have always drunk their Super Protein line. I remember the smoothies always being a bit on the chalky side. With the C Monster drinks that is not a problem at all? Do you love orange juice? Do you also have an affinity for strawberries? Then this is the drink for you. There are some grapes and a little apple in here as well, but you don't notice it. All this tastes like it a premium orange juice that has a handful of strawberries blended into it. I bought this because it was on sale for half off, but I think this may have changed my opinion of Odwalla and I'll be checking out their other flavors shortly.
- Website
- http://www.odwalla.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/24/2011
Cascal Fermented Bright Citrus: Lemongrass Tangerine & Pineapple
The search is complete. We found it. A Cascal that the whole family can enjoy, rather than their skunky, old tasting drink. Here we have a genuine work of art. It's light, fruity, and quite flavorful. Also, it doesn't taste the way a cold to hot to cold to hot to open beer smells. Right away you get some lemongrass, then the tangerine and pineapple dance playfully in your mouth like there's a hootenanny and this is the dirty South circa 1800's. It's got a little fermentation taste, but that is because, number one, it's fermented, and it aids in the intricacies of this drink.
This drink makes me keep faith that there will be more awesomeness to come out of the Cascal laboratory. I've got to hand it to them because their flavor pairings are different than just about every company on the market. They're trying something new and different and this one they got right. Good job team!
- Website
- http://cheerscascal.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Rebiana
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/22/2011
- Buy Now
- Cascal
Tampico Mango Punch
It's times like this that I wish we had been more specific when we started Thirsty Dudes. You know, like just pop or just iced tea. That would be a good life, just reviewing iced tea. Nope, we decided to take on the entire non-alcoholic beverage world and because of that choice I sit here now drinking Tampico.
First off, there is no possible way that this started off as a juice. I can only assume they started with a vat of water and added some agents to thicken it up a bit. Then they added a tiny amount of juice concentrate and some artificial flavors. Oh let's not forget the mass amount of corn syrup that was added as well. The result is as much of a juice as Sunny Delight is. It really actually reminds me of a slightly thinner Sunny D, except it's supposed to be mango flavored instead of straight orange. I'll stick with real juice, and dreams of a world where iced tea reigns supreme.
- Website
- http://www.tampico.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/22/2011
Bug Juice Wicked Sour Cherry
I got made fun of for buying this drink. I gave the excuse that "I had to review it", but my friends didn't care. They argued that there were plenty of other drinks in the gas station that I hadn't reviewed yet. The real reason why I picked this up is because I was hoping it actually was "wicked sour". I love sour things and have been searching for a good sour drink. Seeing as this is marketed toward kids, I thought it might actually be sour.
Once again I was let down. Squirt is sourer than this "juice". I use juice in quotes because there is no juice in this at all. It's just sugar water. I love sweet things, but I could only get a couple sips of this in before I had to dump the rest. If I had a kid, I would never give them one of these.
- Website
- http://drinkbugjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 12/21/2011
