Milk (81 reviews)

Vita Milk Soy Bean Milk

Vita Milk Soy Bean Milk

It's a steaming hot day. It's so hot that you can't even comprehend the idea of moving. You are soaked with sweat just from breathing. This fan isn't doing anything. There's only one thing that can save the day. A Slurpie? No that's kids stuff. You're an adult now and the only thing that will cool you down is a nice ice-cold bottle of soymilk. Crack one open and chug it. As you wipe some dribble off your chin you are the picture of refreshment. You've beaten that heat.

Obviously that is completely fabricated because of two important things.
1. Slurpies are for all ages. They cool down your body like nothing else. On top of that they are delicious. I don't think I could ever trust someone who tells me they don't like them.
2. Soymilk, or cow milk for that matter, is not refreshing at all. I love it on my cereal, but other than the chocolate variety, I can't see myself ever downing a glass of it for pleasure. It's very strange to me to have it in single serve glass bottles.

Also soymilk and tofu are both made out of soybeans, so why don't they taste similar? I think Vita Milk had the same thought and decided to do something about it. This tastes like they took bricks of tofu and put them in a blender with way more sugar than is ever needed. I think I'll stick to my vanilla soymilk on my cereal in the morning.

Website
http://www.vitasoy.com
Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Soy
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 25th, 2011
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Taste Nirvana Creamy Green Tea

Taste Nirvana Creamy Green Tea

John, we've got a good line of drinks here. We've got coconut stuff and our Thai tea, which is fitting because we're from Thailand. I'm sorry to report that sales are down this quarter and we've got a good idea why. We received numerous complaints about how bold the Thai tea is with our proprietary chai blend and how creamy and nutty our coconut drinks are. I know, they sound like compliments but in reality, it's the general public asking for something more.

I have spent literally dozens of dollars on research and development, or as the fellas in R and D call it, "R and D" developing the perfect drink to meet people right in the middle and I am here to announce to you, John, Taste Nirvana's very own creamy green tea. It's green tea, which people have been drinking for ages mixed with a little bit of milk, a little bit of sugar, and a little bit of soy, you know, for fun. It's tamer than our Thai tea, and in my opinion, not as good, but the people get what the people want. It tastes exactly like how a "creamy green tea" would taste if you dreamed about it, as I did.

John, this is how my dreams taste. Can you taste my dreams? Do you like the way my dreams taste, John? Now I need you to go out and tell the world about my dreams and how they taste.

Website
http://www.tastenirvana.com/
Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Milk, Soy
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 17th, 2011
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Taste Nirvana, Green Tea, Creamy, 9.50 OZ (Pack of 12)

Yazoo Strawberry

Yazoo Strawberry

A. Excuse me. Yes, umm I don’t mean to interrupt you but could you please tell me what they delightful pink beverage you are drinking is? I am from another country and I would love to try the local delicacies. You see I am a bit of a foodie and would love to try some of this.

B. This is a Yazoo.

A. Ohh, that sounds exotic! Is it infused with rose petals? Oh, oh is it some sort of exotic fruit that only grows locally?

B. It is flavored milk. It tastes like Strawberry Quik dude!

Website
http://yazoo.co.uk/
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 2nd, 2014
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North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Chocolate Mousse

North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Chocolate Mousse

Who doesn't love chocolate milk? Not me. Love the stuff. It's downright awful for you, but seriously you're drinking chocolate. What do you expect?

This stuff tastes like pudding skins, which is ultra awesome. I love me some chocolate mousse, and I might be lucky if I get it more than once a year. This drink will not supplement my desire for said treat, but you know what? This isn't just chocolate milk. It's not the delicious, processed, smooth Nesquik or whatever you're used to drinking. This is different. It's probably the Dutch cocoa they use to make it.

I would say if you're not vegan, and you see this, get it and leave a comment, please. I'm interested in what others think of this stuff. I got it at my local Big Lots, which, if it is not nationwide, is a discount everything store, kind of in the same vein as Aldi's if you have that, although I don't think they carry this.

Website
http://www.northamericanbeverage.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 16th, 2010
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Chug Milk Shake Chocolate

Chug Milk Shake Chocolate

Well...color me impressed. I read the label and it says "Milk Shake". Whatever dude, it's just chocolate milk lying to me. I will sincerely apologize to you, Chug, as you have actually released a milk shake in a bottle.

I bought this over at the Dollar General on a whim and what a good whim. It is the thickest, creamiest "milkshake in a bottle" I've ever had. It's as if you bought a legit milkshake at your local chromed our diner and let it sit on the table for ten minutes. It tastes like the bottom of every chocolate milkshake you've ever had.

Convinced? Do it. Tom Scharpling says, "Do it." Henry Rollins says, "Do it." I say, "Do it."

Website
http://www.deandairy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 24th, 2010
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Silk Light Vanilla

Silk Light Vanilla

Although I very rarely drink a glass of this, it is my go to soymilk to put on my cereal. The vanilla isn't so strong that it's more powerful than the actual flavor of the cereal, but it's there enough so that when you do have a glass of it, it doesn't just taste like soy. I can get behind it. Regular milk is so gross. I just can't do it. That means soy and Silk wins out.

Website
http://www.silksoymilk.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Diet, Milk, Soy
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 22nd, 2010
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Silk Very Vanilla Soymilk Natural, 8-Ounce Containers (Pack of 18)

Rice Dream Rice Nog

Rice Dream Rice Nog

One of the things I miss most about being vegan is eggnog. I used to drink it straight from the carton. I loved how thick and delicious it was. I'm glad every year there seems to be more non-dairy eggnogs available. This one, made with rice milk, isn't my favorite. It has a decent "nog" taste. It's not overloaded with nutmeg, which is good. But rice milk isn't my favorite alt-milk, so it's a little to thin for my taste. But if you prefer a light eggnog, this is the drink for you.

Website
http://www.tastethedream.com/products/rice_dream.php
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on November 19th, 2010
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Imagine Rice Dream Rice Nog, 32 Ounce Boxes (Pack of 6)

West Soy Chocolate Peppermint Stick

West Soy Chocolate Peppermint Stick

Ooooh. So let me get this straight. You're vegan and it's Christmas? Well that is very saddening. You can't have any milks or meats. That's unfortunate. And now you're telling me that you used to love Hot Chocolate with milk like mama used to make? Oh, and you used to put a peppermint stick in it to really hit it home? I'm very sorry that you can no longer have that. Let me present to you, though, something very on par that is not just for you, but also for the rest of us. It's from West Soy and it's chocolate with peppermint stick and tastes just like (cold) hot chocolate with mama's recommendation of puttin' a peppermint stick in it. What more could you ask for? Warmth? You could probably boil it or put it in the microwave, but at the speed that you can slam/chug it, you won't want to waste time warming it up. Just leave it on the shelf and kind of meet the world half way and drink it at room temperature.

Look, you can drink it however you want to. I'm not your friggin' dad. I'm not going to tell you what to do. You asked what you could drink as a malnourished vegan on Christmas and I told you. What else do you want? Do you want me to go to the store, buy some, then buy some glasses, pour the drink in said glass, and then pour the drink down your throat? That's dangerous. You could choke. I don't know your oral liquid limits. I'm not in your mouth. What am I, your tongue? Leave me alone.

Website
http://www.westsoy.biz
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Dehydrated Cane Juice
Categories
Milk, Soy
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 6th, 2010
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Westsoy Chocolate Peppermint Stick Soy Beverage, 32 oz. Aseptic Package

Silk Nog

Silk Nog

Eggnog is one of the foulest beverages in the history of the world. Eggs and milk mixed? No thanks! Ever since I was a kid I loathed the stuff. I don't give a rip if Santa loves the stuff. You know what I do care if he likes it. He can have my share.
A couple of years back a friend got a carton of Silk Nog and I went off about how gross the stuff was. I was then basically forced to try it. I was shocked that I actually enjoyed the stuff. I don't know if it was just that I knew it wasn't made out of disgusting ingredients or if it's just better than eggnog. I will tell you this, it's not as thick as eggnog, but it's by no means watery. When you go to take a sip and breath in through your mouth, a strong taste hits you before the liquid. It's like an aftertaste in reverse. I think Silk has mastered quantum physics with this beverage. I've never had that happen before with a drink. When it finally hits your tongue it's very creamy, and tastes like light holiday spices.
Every since that day I've gotten a handful of cartons of this a year. It's not an all the time drink, but a nice glass of it every once and a while is really nice. I guess I have to get in the holiday mood in some way, and I choose to do so eating cookies and drinking Silk Nog.

Website
http://www.silksoymilk.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Milk, Soy
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 19th, 2010
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Crave Strawberry Chocolate

Crave Strawberry Chocolate

Baby, I love you so much. You look great in that negligee that I got you on sale from Sears when I was waiting for my car to be serviced. Darn alternator is always acting up. You know, you've driven it. I think that Carl, the guy at the counter had it out for me because he gave me a look of hatred when I brought it the car...kind of like the look you're giving me now. Baby, what's up? I just wanted to tell you about my day before we...you know...rocked the sheets. You don't want to hear about the Pinto? Strange, anyhow, I thought that we could have some fun before we got down to business and I picked this up. You know how you're always thirsty after we're done? Oh wait; maybe that's me, anyhow. Cleaning up chocolate is a mess. It doesn't come out of anything. The last thing I want you to do is worry about cleaning at a time like this. Also, I know you like strawberries, but it's not really in season so I did the next best thing. I stopped at a gas station on the way home from work today and picked up a can of Crave strawberry chocolate milk that I thought we could share while we're, you know, doing it. I know, strawberry and chocolate. You know how you've had your eyes on a Prius, but this is like a delicious hybrid of its own.

Drink up, baby. I keep calling you baby to try and get you in the mood because you don't really look like you're in to it anymore. I don't really get it but give this a quick swig. It's not bad. It tastes like chocolate covered gummy strawberries. That's cool, right? Plus, it comes in this pretty awesome aluminum can so it keeps cold longer. Why are you turning the TV on, I thought we were going to...oh turn that back! I love Psych. Move over, you're taking up the whole bed.

Website
http://icravemilk.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 20th, 2011
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Crave Strawberry Chocolate Milk, 12-Ounce (Pack of 12)
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