Milk (81 reviews)

REBBL Super Herb Elixer Turmeric Golden-Milk

REBBL Super Herb Elixer Turmeric Golden-Milk

I will start by saying; this wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The turmeric was pulled down by the coconut milk which is the featured player in this act. I actually wish that it was a bit stronger and it's already a pretty bold drink. I think the coconut is too strong and kills some of the spice of the turmeric. There is honey in here somewhere according to the ingredients but you can't taste it. At the end you get the sting of the turmeric but you have to really wait it out while the coconut milk flavor dies out.

I don't know if I would drink it again but this one bottle was good and I'm happy I was "forced" to drink it for the site otherwise I probably wouldn't have tried it.

Website
http://www.rebbltonic.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Stevia Extract
Categories
Coconut, Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 15th, 2016
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Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

For the life of me I have no idea why they have labeled this a milkshake. It’s not thick. There is no ice cream involved. It’s really just strawberry milk…with a bunch of veggies added. To be clear they are veggies that you also cannot taste. They are hidden nicely in the mix. Also to be clear, this doesn’t taste like Strawberry Quik either. It’s a different beast that is close, but not quite the same. It really just tastes like what I imagine people thought strawberry milk tasted like before Quik was invented. Did it even exist before then though? Is this a chicken/egg or a music/misery type situation? I guess it doesn’t matter. This tastes pretty good and you’re getting some vitamins from veggies. Kids will love it.

Website
http://www.sneakz.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 25th, 2016
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Ripple Chocolate

Ripple Chocolate

"Nutritious Plant-Based Milk" isn't really milk at all, is it? I mean, you could argue that almond milk or soy milk isn't milk but I guess it's all in your definition of what "milk" is, now, isn't it? One thing I can say is that whether you call this milk or a plant-based milk, I can tell you that it is one thing, it's not that great.

It most certainly tastes like something is "up." It doesn't have the smoothness of milk. I don't want to say gritty but there is definitely some stuff up in there. I get that it's a nice alternative to dairy and for vegans, if you had the strength, you might do a backflip to hear that you've got another alternative to murderous milk.

This tastes like chocolate but as far as chocolate milk goes, it's definitely lacking in both sugar and chocolate. I'm not saying that as an insult but you might want to think of this as not only dairyless milk, but also think of it as "chocolate milk light" but put "light" in double quotes because this 12 ounce bottle still manages to cram 220 calories in her. It's a difficult battle, milk, but I suppose we can't let them have all the fun in Mootown.

Website
http://www.ripplefoods.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2016
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Ripple Chocolate

Ripple Chocolate

For months this tub o’ milk substitute has been staring me down in the organic section of my local Wegmans. I think it’s mostly because even though I know the product is called Ripple, the way the typeface is on the bottle I always read it as Apple and subconsciously my taste buds are tricked into thinking that it was going to be some sort of delicious chocolate apple milk. The somewhat hefty price tag ($8 I believe) help me back from making the purchase. My ladyfriend finally pulled the trigger, because unaware to me it has also been pulling at her with its chocolatey siren’s call.

My first thought when I took as sip was a ridiculous disappointment. How on earth could I expect this to taste like apple when I knew it wasn’t at all is a secret my brain to will take to its grave. I can’t hold a lack of apple against the company when it was never promised in the first place.

My second thought was, well this isn’t really a sipping beverage. It’s a bit chalky and you can taste the plant protein in it (it comes from peas, luckily it tastes nothing like the semi-grossness of peas when they exist outside of a pot pie). It reminds me a lot of protein drinks, but less thick. I think the ideal use for this would be as a base for a smoothie. I can’t see myself drinking a full glass of this, or putting it on cereal, but I can see me mixing it with some peanut butter and such mixed up in a blender.

This is nothing I would spend money on for the price, but it does have its purposes if you have the disposable income.

Website
http://www.ripplefoods.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 9th, 2017
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Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Traditional

Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Traditional

There is nothing quite like consuming more tacos than anyone on Earth should in one sitting and then washing it all down with some Horchata aka the perfect dessert beverage. In case you are unfamiliar with this liquid wonder it is basically cinnamon rice milk. Sometimes, if you are lucky, there is a little vanilla in there as well. It sounds so very simple, but it taste so very good. It’s the kind of drink that even if it were regularly available to me, I would save it for special occasions because I would not want it to become commonplace. It is a treat I like to give myself when I think I’ve earned it.

I’ve had premade horchata before and they have always left something to be desired. While on the better side of things, this bottle is no exception. It’s almost there, but at the same time it also tastes a bit on the watery side. I just don’t know if perfect horchata could have any sort of shelf life. The dairy would spoil too quickly. I did enjoy this, but it was taunting me, knowing how great it could be. It is a good substitute if you were to live in a town that didn’t have a proper Mexican restaurant that served the real stuff. It’s got that cinnamon rice flavor, and even a touch of vanilla, but it’s all just a little too weak. Drinking this makes me want to jump in my car and drive the 20 minutes to get a glass at my favorite Taqueria. I really shouldn’t, but I want to. Let’s say this is starter Horchata. A Mexican treat with training wheels if you will.

Website
http://www.steubenfoods.com/elmhurst-naturals
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 20th, 2017
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Naked Nutrition Whey

Naked Nutrition Whey

This is simply not for me. I am fairly disgusted by milk and all it entails, unless it’s in ice cream form, because I am a child. The protein powders I get are derived from plants or soy. This tastes like someone took powdered heavy cream (if such a thing exists) and then I reconstituted it with water into a thick milky beverage that I could not get more than one sip down. Had I been in a different location in my house I would have probably spit it out. The thing is I can’t really complain because it is exactly what it advertises to be, and I cannot fault them for being something that I despise. They are what they are and I am what I am, and I will avoid consuming it again until the end of my days. Those of you out there who love milk get on this train, because it’s protein that you will be happy about.

Website
http://nkdnutrition.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Milk, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 16th, 2018
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UCC Melon Creamy Soda

UCC Melon Creamy Soda

I came across this while looking for drinks to gift to Engineer Jay Zubricky at GCR audio while my band was working on our new record. I saw it and though, “Awesome, a green melon cream soda. Jay loves honeydew and while I’m sure it will be super sweet, it will probably also be tasty.” Little did I know at the time instead of it being a typical vanilla cream soda, it was actually a “creamy soda” meaning that it is soda with milk in it. Now that is strange. It certainly tastes like a regular, cheap, cream soda that has some melon flavoring added to it, but the milk adds another dimension to it, that I can’t 100% get behind. It leaves a weird taste in my mouth and it also changes the viscosity of the beverage and makes it a little thicker than I was expecting. I was able to drink a few sips. Jay drank more than I did and seemed to enjoy it more as well. I guess all drinks are not for everyone.

Website
http://www.ucc.co.jp/eng/
Country
Japan
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Milk, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 20th, 2018
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Kirin Afternoon Milk Tea Chocolate

Kirin Afternoon Milk Tea Chocolate

First of all, dudes at work don't know how I do. I invited six people to drink this and give me a review. I said, "Here's your chance to be on a famous website no different than if you were Caroline Rhea or Anthony Michael Hall." They laughed, threw tomatoes at me like this was the early 1900's. I didn't even know we had tomatoes in the office but there is some sort of secret closet that contains nothing but over-ripened tomatoes ready for the next bad joke or snake oil salesman. In this case, it was my attempt to make half a dozen dudes filthy rich like me. Your loss, turds. Your loss.

How's this? Well, it's fine. It tastes like chocolate milk. One said, "It tastes like hot cocoa. No. It tastes like Yoo-hoo." which I kind of agree with. If there is tea in this, and I'm not doubting there is, it is promptly and sufficiently overshadowed by sugar and chocolate. Is that the worst thing in the world? No. Is the fact that it is eight months past expiration date that really makes it? No. It isn't. It just tastes like chocolate milk. That's cool, right? Yes and no. I wanted a chocolate tea with Jasmine and Rooibos tea, as friggin' promised. I just got a white person's chocolate milk. We all know that white people are the worst, right? I mean, enjoy your mac and cheese, idiots.

To the six people that drank this that are not on my yacht, think twice next time I offer you something you can't read the label for that you saw three other people drink before you. It could be the thing that turns your life around. Now I'm sorry but I have to go put tanning oil on hot babes that aren't my wife. My wife is cool with it. She told me she was.



As I tend to do, I spoke too soon.

Nick said:


I was approached by Mike with a nod and a wink, which of course either meant it was time for an afternoon tryst... or time to sample a new beverage. As I do require continued employment and HR frowns on at-work conjugal relations, it was fortunately the latter.

The beverage in question was a bottle which was decidedly not labeled for sale in America, fully decked out in Asian-language glyphs. OK, we have a potential mouth party, here. Strap in, taste buds.

I did see one English word: chocolate. Now, chocolate for me can be a multi-layer extravaganza of flavors, or a cloyingly sweet abomination of which Hershey's would be proud. The first sip showed this drink leaned more towards the latter. Primary flavor: sweet. Meh. There's also a texture that says to me there's some milk or other form of emulsified fat going on here. It's feels a little creamy.

What followed was a flavor I can describe as not-hot hot chocolate. Yeah, you know... the cup of hot chocolate you made to warm up after snow-blowing the GD driveway for the second time today, only to be drawn away by a wife request for something that clearly would have been less time for her to just do herself, and then later re-discover your room-temp cup, and then remembering as you drink it that room-temp hot chocolate is not nearly as good, and become lost in a downward spiral of negative emotions. Maybe that's just me, though. OK, I'm exaggerating. It's not bad. It's just not *good*. I wouldn't seek it out for this part. Thus far, we're not looking at a beverage I'd actively seek out again.

Ah - but the last, lingering hit of background tastes (and aftertaste). There's something going on here. Putting a finger on it is nigh impossible, between OMG SWEET and the milky texture and the mild cocoa. But there's... something. A complex of multiple things, very subtle. I'd later learn this was tea and hibiscus. It could have been turmeric and turpentine for all I could tell; they're so muted. But it *was* pleasant.
Is the little blend of almost missed flavors enough to make this a repeat drink?

Nah. I think it would have benefited from those secondary flavors being brought forward more.

I'm happy to have sampled it, and I enjoyed drinking what I had, but no, I wouldn't buy one. I'd probably have a hit if it was given to me. Especially if it was from Mike... with that wink and nod.

Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 25th, 2019
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Chug Milk Shake Chocolate

Chug Milk Shake Chocolate

Well...color me impressed. I read the label and it says "Milk Shake". Whatever dude, it's just chocolate milk lying to me. I will sincerely apologize to you, Chug, as you have actually released a milk shake in a bottle.

I bought this over at the Dollar General on a whim and what a good whim. It is the thickest, creamiest "milkshake in a bottle" I've ever had. It's as if you bought a legit milkshake at your local chromed our diner and let it sit on the table for ten minutes. It tastes like the bottom of every chocolate milkshake you've ever had.

Convinced? Do it. Tom Scharpling says, "Do it." Henry Rollins says, "Do it." I say, "Do it."

Website
http://www.deandairy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 24th, 2010
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Silk Light Vanilla

Silk Light Vanilla

Although I very rarely drink a glass of this, it is my go to soymilk to put on my cereal. The vanilla isn't so strong that it's more powerful than the actual flavor of the cereal, but it's there enough so that when you do have a glass of it, it doesn't just taste like soy. I can get behind it. Regular milk is so gross. I just can't do it. That means soy and Silk wins out.

Website
http://www.silksoymilk.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Diet, Milk, Soy
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 22nd, 2010
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Silk Very Vanilla Soymilk Natural, 8-Ounce Containers (Pack of 18)
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