Milk (81 reviews)

CK Soybean Drink Chocolate

CK Soybean Drink Chocolate

You've got two screaming kids. Sometimes they suck. Face it. Your "angels" aren't perfect. Honestly, they don't suck. They're still screaming and you have to solve this predicament ASAP. You open the fridge and you've got a little bit of chocolate milk. Not enough for two stupid kids, but maybe one and a half kids. Since you "can't" cut little Tommy in half you have no choice but to, gulp, water down the chocolate milk. You do it, don't look back, and give those brats something to stop their crying.

You can tell the difference because you're an adult and have been drinking chocolate milk your entire life. Those kids sucked it right up. What you tastes. Tastes like this CK chocolate soybean drink. It's not as thick as regular chocolate milk or soymilk. Maybe that soymilk and soybean drink are different even though they are made from the same animal.

Your kids are now fine and you found that watered down chocolate milk passes the kid test. It's a fiscal score for you. Good job. Not so much for CK. It was under $1 so it's not a jip. You got what you paid for.

Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Soy
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 26th, 2010
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North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Cookies & Cream

North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Cookies & Cream

Thirsty Dude comrade Dan has been pulling on my pant leg ever since I told him I bought this drink. I've had it in my fridge for weeks. Months even. It's just been sitting there. Every time I open the door to get another drink, there's that moose, staring me in the face, asking me "Hey Mike. When is it time for you and me to spend some one-on-one time. You love Hall and Oates, right? I know, who doesn't? You know that song mano-a-mano? You and me, dude. Mano-a-mano. Let's do this thing, already." Literally every time I opened the fridge, he would say that to me. Since no one likes a broken record, or a skipping needle, or even a skipping CD, today had to be the day. I shook it up thoroughly. Got out to glasses. Split that drink right in half; half of it for me, half of it for Dan and none for corgis. You know what happened after that? I took one sip and didn't like it, plain as that. I don't know why they called it Cookies & Cream since it didn't taste anything like cookies and cream. It didn't taste anything like cookies or cream, but it did taste like cruddy chocolate milk. I would not recommend this and I would not buy this again. I do not regret my purchase, but I have considered it a learning experience as to what not to do again.

North American Beverage Co? Number one, change your name. You sound like a government subsidy or a company that only makes drinks for elementary school cafeterias. Number two? Drop this item from your line.

Website
http://www.northamericanbeverage.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 3rd, 2011
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Vita Milk Soy Bean Milk

Vita Milk Soy Bean Milk

It's a steaming hot day. It's so hot that you can't even comprehend the idea of moving. You are soaked with sweat just from breathing. This fan isn't doing anything. There's only one thing that can save the day. A Slurpie? No that's kids stuff. You're an adult now and the only thing that will cool you down is a nice ice-cold bottle of soymilk. Crack one open and chug it. As you wipe some dribble off your chin you are the picture of refreshment. You've beaten that heat.

Obviously that is completely fabricated because of two important things.
1. Slurpies are for all ages. They cool down your body like nothing else. On top of that they are delicious. I don't think I could ever trust someone who tells me they don't like them.
2. Soymilk, or cow milk for that matter, is not refreshing at all. I love it on my cereal, but other than the chocolate variety, I can't see myself ever downing a glass of it for pleasure. It's very strange to me to have it in single serve glass bottles.

Also soymilk and tofu are both made out of soybeans, so why don't they taste similar? I think Vita Milk had the same thought and decided to do something about it. This tastes like they took bricks of tofu and put them in a blender with way more sugar than is ever needed. I think I'll stick to my vanilla soymilk on my cereal in the morning.

Website
http://www.vitasoy.com
Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Soy
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 25th, 2011
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So Delicious Almond Milk Almond Plus

So Delicious Almond Milk Almond Plus

Milk disgusts me to no end. The stuff that makes up milk is vom inducing. While I’ll eat it if it’s used to make some food, just drinking it is a big no-no. When I was younger I would put it in my cereal, but dump it out of each spoonful. It was such a waste, but I couldn’t bring myself to drink it. Eventually I moved on to soymilk, but drinking that in large quantities isn’t that great for you either, so a few years ago I happily landed on almond milk.

Almond milk is something I can completely get behind, as long as you go for the unsweetened variety. I go through about a gallon of the unsweetened Silk brand a week. This week when I went to the store they were out of it, and all that was left was this new carton of So Delicious Almond Plus. As I said I usually stay away from the ones with added sugar, because I eat the cereal of a child and it has more sugar than I should probably eat all day. The look of this carton was intriguing to me, and I liked the idea of added protein, so instead of stopping at another store I decided to give this a try. It was a mistake. My normal almond milk doesn’t have too much of a presence. It’s just has a dull almond taste that is generally overpowered by my cereal (fake Cinnamon Toast Crunch for those of you playing at home). If I were to drink it by itself it’s pleasant enough. This on the other hand is far too sweet. Well it’s not insanely sweet like a soda, but the sugar distracts from the taste of the almonds, and it just tastes like sweetness with a harsh, almost burnt, almond aftertaste. It makes my cereal taste completely different. Needless to say I am not a fan, and I would trek to a different store the next time Wegmans is out of my Silk.

Website
http://www.turtlemountain.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Dried Cane Syrup
Categories
Milk
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 25th, 2012
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Cheng Kang Strawberry Soybean Drink

Cheng Kang Strawberry Soybean Drink

Do you remember when you were a kid and Strawberry Quik was one of the best things ever? Well, this is the soy version of that. Okay, you caught me. I am a liar. This wishes that it was the soy version of that. Actually I believe that at some point in its creation that is exactly what it might have been but then things went wonky. It tastes like they had two vats, one filled with soymilk and another filled with sweetened strawberry flavoring. I can only imagine that they meant to water down the soy vat to make it slightly less soy-y, but someone at the factory messed up and watered down the flavoring instead. The result was a beverage that tasted very strongly of soy and not as boldly of strawberry.

Instead of this tasting like nice strong strawberry milk it ended up tasting like the soymilk left over after a bowl of Frankenberry. I don’t think anyone wants this.

Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Soy
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 13th, 2013
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Hershey's Strawberry

Hershey's Strawberry

I have not had strawberry milk since I was like fourteen. My friend Ian and I were sitting in his kitchen and drinking it and calling it "cow blood." Pretty morbid now that I think about it but we were fourteen. What did we know? Neither one of us had touched a boob. What else is there? We never drank. We didn't smoke. We just hung out all the time and played football in people's yards and hockey in people's driveways. We just hung out. We were all we knew and we were fine.

What we should have known was that this strawberry milk is complete garbage. Man. Now I know why I haven't had this stuff in like twenty years. It sucks. It tastes like candy strawberries but something about it still being milk makes me sick to my stomach. This is almost most certainly a "me" review and an opinion so don't get mad at me but I did not like this one bit. I don't really remember liking it back then which is probably why I haven't had any desire whatsoever to buy it.

Not for me. Ian, I'm telling you this now and I'm retroactively telling you this in 1994, I don't and never did like strawberry milk.

Website
http://www.hersheys.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 14th, 2015
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Forager Mango & Chia

Forager Mango & Chia

Oh, a mango and chia probiotic smoothie. That sounds pleasant enough. Wait, the base of this is cashew milk? That sounds a bit odd, but I’m willing to give it a try, I mean I really like almond milk.
*one spit take later*
Okay, I was wrong that is not what I want to taste. I still think I would like cashew milk on its own. Hell, I think I would probably even like it if it were just that and mango juice. It might be a little weird, but I have a ghost vision of it on my taste buds and it’s not bad. The problem lies with one, some or all of the other ingredients. I’m looking at you orange juice, dates, lemon juice, and bacillus coagulans GB1-30 6086 whatever you are (it’s a probiotic strain). In your ranks is the think that makes this taste very vegetable juice like and not like something I want to drink at all. It tastes like it’s the gross beverage that I would have to force myself to drink on a juice cleanse. Lucky for me I’m not cleansing and I don’t have to force anything. Wait, why did I just chug the whole thing then?

Website
http://foragerproject.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Milk
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 6th, 2018
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North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Chocolate Mousse

North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Chocolate Mousse

Who doesn't love chocolate milk? Not me. Love the stuff. It's downright awful for you, but seriously you're drinking chocolate. What do you expect?

This stuff tastes like pudding skins, which is ultra awesome. I love me some chocolate mousse, and I might be lucky if I get it more than once a year. This drink will not supplement my desire for said treat, but you know what? This isn't just chocolate milk. It's not the delicious, processed, smooth Nesquik or whatever you're used to drinking. This is different. It's probably the Dutch cocoa they use to make it.

I would say if you're not vegan, and you see this, get it and leave a comment, please. I'm interested in what others think of this stuff. I got it at my local Big Lots, which, if it is not nationwide, is a discount everything store, kind of in the same vein as Aldi's if you have that, although I don't think they carry this.

Website
http://www.northamericanbeverage.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 16th, 2010
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Rice Dream Rice Nog

Rice Dream Rice Nog

One of the things I miss most about being vegan is eggnog. I used to drink it straight from the carton. I loved how thick and delicious it was. I'm glad every year there seems to be more non-dairy eggnogs available. This one, made with rice milk, isn't my favorite. It has a decent "nog" taste. It's not overloaded with nutmeg, which is good. But rice milk isn't my favorite alt-milk, so it's a little to thin for my taste. But if you prefer a light eggnog, this is the drink for you.

Website
http://www.tastethedream.com/products/rice_dream.php
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on November 19th, 2010
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Imagine Rice Dream Rice Nog, 32 Ounce Boxes (Pack of 6)

Nestle Milo

Nestle Milo

Many of the frequent Thirsty Dudes and Thirsty Dames have recommended Milo to me. I looked and looked and looked but couldn't find it anywhere. People were willing to ship it to me from the outer reaches of the earth, and for that I thank them. Lucky for me, Jay found it at an Asian market that we actually frequent, frequently. So here we are today, judgment day. Judgment day for Milo.

It was pretty good. It wasn't as thick as I thought it would be. It was not like chocolate milk but more like a thinner soymilk. I couldn't taste any nutrients or minerals. I can't really feel the energy surging...coursing? Yeah, coursing. I can't feel the energy coursing through my body but who cares? It's pretty good and the masses love it.

So, enjoy thirsty guys and gals. It's good. You were right.

Website
http://www.nestleusa.com
Country
Malaysia
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 6th, 2011
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