Other/Weird (65 reviews)
Orbitz Blueberry Melon Strawberry
There are three out of print beverages that are the holy grail to me. They are Crystal Pepsi, Ecto Cooler and Orbitz. Seeing as I am a nerd I refer to them as the three pieces of the Tri-Force. I paid $14 on this bottle of Orbitz and I don't regret it a bit. Clearly Canadian stopped making this drink in 1996, so this is at least 15 years old. We expected vomit, but it actually wasn't too bad. I used to drink cases of this stuff when it was first discontinued. A store by me blew them out at a quarter a piece. You can't beat that.
Check out this video review we did of this mystical beverage. Due to some weird file conversion the video looks like we shot it in the year this drink was put on the market with a huge VHS video camera.
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/11/2011
- Comments
- 4 Comments. Leave a comment.
Tiger Malt Original
Well. Great. Merry Christmas. Fantastic. Here I am, on stage, accepting this award for perfect attendance for my high school. One of two kids that got it. I don't necessarily do stupendous in class, but I do fair. I'm a B student. What do I get? A handshake and a bottle of pop from the principal. That seems strange to me. I guess I did spend all that time going to class. I deserve this pop.
Alright. Study hall. Second to last day of the year. I've got this strange Tiger Malt and I'm going to drink it. I can do what I want. I'm 17, there is one day of school left and I haven't missed a day. Down the hatch Tiger Malt. Ugh. What the heck is in this bottle? What are my taste buds doing to me? I've got to try this again. I have never felt anything like this before. It's revolting but yet so familiar. Bleh. Terrible. Did someone play a joke on me? Is there some sort of conspiracy against letting kids finish a school year without missing a day? This is going to put me in the hospital? Did someone liquefy and strain a bowl of Raisin Bran? It tastes like a stronger version of my Puerto Rican friend Joey's mom's favorite Malta Goya drink. I might barf. That's isn't going to look good on the floor or on my permanent record.
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/21/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Hyper Malt Original
For a few years I thought of how great it would be if someone would market cereal milk. All different kinds, but particularly Fruity Pebbles and Golden Grams. There is nothing better than that flavor infused cream after you've finished the "solids" portion of your two course breakfast cereal. It's like drinking the bathwater of the gods and sometimes, before moving onto that final stage, I refresh the first, making the inevitable payload that much more savory. It's a harrowing exercise of will power to be certain but like any work-out or period of time without smoking cigarettes, it's more than worth it once you cross that finish line. It is, essentially, the bathwater of TWO gods now. Perhaps they bathed together. Maybe there was just a water shortage and they needed to conserve so as long as the temperature remained comfortable they just wouldn't drain it in-between baths. There is no limit to their hygienic routines as long as your imagination is healthy.
What I'm saying is, though this might sound like a good idea to some (or no one after that unfortunate analogy), I have found upon drinking HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK that cereal milk is only delicious because the person drinking it worked so hard to make it. This energy drink tastes like someone took a bowl of apple juice, emptied the contents of a box of Wheaties into it, let it sit in the sun for a few days, took it back inside, gagged heartily, then ran the fluid through a colander into a bottle which went directly into my mouth. I don't see cereal milk being a big hit for anyone looking to be refreshed, and I don't see HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK being a big hit for anyone looking to be energized. Unless of course you only need the energy required to hurriedly rush to the bathroom to spit it out before going back to watching Maury Povich like I did this morning. But at least it saved me the tens of thousands of dollars I was going to invest in my new milk company.
When I asked Keith to rate the drink he said "0 of 5. No wait, NEGATIVE 0 of 5." Our scale only goes to "1" but keep in mind that if it was possible, it would be below that.
- Country
- Denmark
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Keith Buckley - Singer for Every Time I Die on 2/8/2012
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Fentimans Full Bodied Shandy
I almost didn't buy this drink because the first ingredient is "beer 70%". I have never drunk a drop of beer in my life. The smell of it disgusts me, plus I don't drink alcoholic beverages. But after consulting with my fellow Thirsty Dudes, I was reassured that this is completely safe to drink since like other Fentiman's drinks it had less than .05% alcohol.
After doing some research, I found out that shandy is traditionally a beer mixed with citrus-flavored soda, carbonated lemonade, ginger beer, ginger ale, or cider. This has lemon juice in it so I'm assuming it's the carbonated lemonade variety, minus the alcohol of course. Upon opening it, it definitely had a beer like smell to it. Not as strong as normal beer though.
The taste? Gross, plain and simple. It's like malted lemonade. I don't understand why anyone would drink this. Hopefully one of my housemates wants the rest of this bottle because I won't be drinking any more of it.
- Website
- http://www.drinkfentimans.com
- Country
- England
- Sweetener
- Granulated Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 2/5/2011
Goya Coctail
Summer is a great time. Every year I wait for the three weeks a year where it's nice out. It seems that every day someone is having a barbecue or a backyard party or something. People who live in a tropical climate don't know what it's like. They live with it all of the time and don't have anything to look forward to. Summer vacation was the greatest time, every time, because it's so cold for so long. How long do I have to wear gloves and two jackets? Seriously. It's getting ridiculous. Summer is the time for fresh vegetables, fruits, and fish.
I would love to use the word "embodiment", but I feel that might be a bit excessive. It also might just be plain wrong, but this is my review and I can do what I want.
V8...I love it. Now that they have low sodium V8, everyone doesn't have a reason to crack open a can and get some vegetables. It's like a salad without all of the work. This drink is like a spicier, seafoodier V8. Yeah, dude, there's clam "extract" in there. I trust that doesn't mean poop, but what do I know? I feel like the FDA wouldn't approve of American's drinking poop. It's just the smallest bit clammy. Enough that it's recognizable, but also just enough where you don't want to throw up because someone tricked you into drinking clam juice instead of a Mountain Dew.
- Website
- http://goya.com
- Country
- Guatemala
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/14/2011
Baron Jeera
Firstly this made my girlfriend gag and nearly throw up. Not a good start. Me personally, I didn't gag but from scent to taste it was not good. It has a familiar but unidentifiable taste. It was like a salty and sweet, spiced juice. I wish that I could be more descriptive and if anyone else can point me in the right direction please do. It was a complex flavor that I just couldn't do but is a regular drink in India and Pakistan.
I apologize to our Middle Eastern friends but I did not like this drink. I hope to redeem myself with some of the other drinks I have in my possession and Jay in his.
- Country
- India
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/28/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Hajoori's Kashmira
Honey, thanks for going to the grocery store and picking up the stuff for taco night. Did you get the iced tea mix while you were there? You did? You're the best. Now I will continue talking to you while I reach into the bag without looking and grab the iced tea mix to make myself a glass. I am still paying no attention to what I am doing while I pour myself a glass of water open the package and mix it in. Say, this iced tea tastes weird. Oh well, bottoms up! *chug.spit.gag* How the hell did I not realize that I used taco seasoning instead of iced tea mix!
Mix a packet of taco seasoning into a glass of sparkling water and you have the worst drink ever. I think that's what they did here. I should have been tipped off that it has both salt and black salt in it. I couldn't even swallow my first sip.
My condolences to India, I just do not understand the allure of this beverage at all. Gaaaaaaarrrooooooooosssss!
- Country
- India
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird, Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/1/2010
- Comments
- 3 Comments. Leave a comment.
Rogers Fizzy Amla with Jeera Masala
This was our thousandth review. We needed to do something fun/gross/different for you and we decided to incorporate some significant others, pets, and babies. Watch the video and learn what we thought about Rogers Fizzy Amla with Jeera Masala.
Thank you very much for following us along this partially disgusting, partially delicious, mostly mediocre trip. Now, for your viewing pleasure, have a video review.
- Country
- India
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird, Sparkling
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/17/2011
Big Bamboo Irish Moss
Mooooooooooom why is my pudding so liquidy? Oh because you accidentally put the pudding in a can, and the drink in my pudding bowl? Seriously this has the consistency of pudding/the slime you got out of quarter machine as a kid. I had to shake the can to get it in the cups in glops.
It also reminds me of how vanilla egg nog pudding would taste. This is just strange. I just can't get over the consistency. I don't think it would be so gross if it were more of a fluid.
- Country
- Jamaica
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/19/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Paldo Sweet Cinnamon Punch
Fans of Big Red gum take note: this drink is for you. I was expecting this to taste like a mouth full of cinnamon, or a fireball candy. To my surprise, it tastes like liquid Big Red gum. It has a strong cinnamon smell, but the taste is flavorful and mild. The cinnamon taste is rounded out by dried persimmon. There's also ginger in this, but it's so faint I can't even taste it. I can't say I love this drink, because I don't see myself picking this up again. It tastes really good, but I'm not that crazy about cinnamon. But if you really like cinnamon, definitely try this drink.
- Website
- http://paldofood.com/
- Country
- Korea
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Juice, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/23/2011