Smoothie (34 reviews)
Archer Farms Fruit Smoothie Berry Pomegranate
It seems like just yesterday I was complaining about the specifics of what truly makes a smoothie. I argued that seeds, thickness, and stuff make a smoothie and this is way closer. It's also not made with coconut milk so we are closer still. This also tastes delicious and would be loved by all if given the opportunity to take a swig. Oh, the diseases that would go around if everyone shared a bottomless bottle of this drink. Everyone would be ill.
This is good. Get it. It's at Target.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Smoothie
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/6/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Cuties Protein Fruit Smoothie Tangerine + Mango + Other Fruits
Oh how adorable a little bottle of smoothie. It has the cutest little face on it and an ever so appropriate name "Cuties." This may have been your first thought process if you are either under the age of 10 or over the age of 45 and lived alone except for your 14 cats. Truth be told you wouldn't be thinking this is so cute if you knew it's dark history. Remember those monks from the 90's that recorded their chants and sold them in mass quantities to the yuppie crowd? Have you ever wondered why we don't hear from them anymore? I mean obviously it's not because that was a stupid novelty of an idea. It must be something more sinister. The last ingredient in this bottle is "Monk Fruit Concentrate." That's too much of a coincidence for me. After doing some digging I uncovered the ghastly truth that Cuties has been harvesting the "singing monks" mind grapes to add a little kick to their smoothies.
They start off with a nice thick smoothie that tastes very strongly of tangerines and mangoes with just the slightest hint of banana. From the taste you can definitely tell it's a protein drink, but it's not as chalky as you would expect. It is the monk's mind grapes that give it that quality. Tell me you still think this is cute now that you know that it contains monk brains! You do? Well then you my friend are quite the sicko!
- Website
- http://www.cutiesjuice.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/9/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Juiceheads Smoothies Wild Berry
When drinks come in these tetra pack they always seem like they are going to be too small for me. Ahh my American gluttony. Truth is that these packs keep me from being a slob. I just finished this up and I'm actually pretty satisfied. I should probably start drinking more things in smaller packages. Maybe then I won't over-stuff myself.
In my world this is more of a juice than a smoothie. It's a great juice, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't have the consistency of what I think of when I think smoothie. This is just a mixture of nine different fruit juices. There is nothing added to it to thicken it up. I'm okay with it. It tastes like you're eating a bunch of fresh fruit. Well done Juiceheads.
- Website
- http://www.juiceheads.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/12/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Odwalla C Monster Strawberry C
I always think that Odwalla is on the bottom of the trio of Odwalla, Naked and Bolthouse juices. I call them the big three, because they are the three companies that are readily available pretty much anywhere in the USA. I think I must have always drunk their Super Protein line. I remember the smoothies always being a bit on the chalky side. With the C Monster drinks that is not a problem at all? Do you love orange juice? Do you also have an affinity for strawberries? Then this is the drink for you. There are some grapes and a little apple in here as well, but you don't notice it. All this tastes like it a premium orange juice that has a handful of strawberries blended into it. I bought this because it was on sale for half off, but I think this may have changed my opinion of Odwalla and I'll be checking out their other flavors shortly.
- Website
- http://www.odwalla.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/24/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Juiceheads Smoothies Orange Mango
More! I need more! Look, here's the problem. I only have a limited amount of juice box containers but I have a truckload of fruit. So, what I'm going to need you to do is put as much fruit in each juice box as possible because, and this may sound strange, I hate fruit. If there is one extra orange, I won't eat it. I will throw it in the garbage. Do you know what I hate more than fruit? Wasting fruit. Fruit is money. Time is money. Money is money. So what have you got for me, Sam?
Well boss, I've got this. I cannot fit any more juice and I feel there is a fair representation of all the fruits in there. Ready for the breakdown? Here goes. In each box, we've got half an orange, two-thirds of a banana, half an apple, half a mango, and an eighth of a pineapple. You didn't buy any grapes but I don't know if we could even fit grapes in here. Somehow we managed to make it taste like mango and orange exclusively even though there are so many other fruits in there. It's technically a smoothie, but it's not terribly thick and nicely sweet due to the apple probably. Do you want a taste?
Sam, let me ask you a question; do you want me to throw up on your already dirty Reeboks? I didn't think so. I trust you with this one so box 'em and ship 'em. We're ready for phase two; profit!
- Website
- http://www.juiceheads.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Smoothie
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/30/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Chia\Vie Smoothie Banapple Berry
I never took any still life drawing classes in high school or college. I nude modeled for a life drawing class and bought a pizza with the proceeds but that's a different story all together. Even though my life lacks the ability to mix paint, I don't need to look at a bowl of fruit for hours on end to know that a "banapple" is not a real fruit. I enjoy fruit, too. I had cantaloupe today, yesterday, and the day before. If that isn't dedication to fruit, I don't know what is. I enjoy looking at the exotic fruits with my lil' buddy Max when we go to the store. He holds on to dragonfruit, apricots, kumquats, and more. A banapple has never been on the shelves.
If this company invented a fruit just for this drink, that is incredible but I feel like that is science that should be better put to use making tacos out of thin air or something. Food science is food science, right? Don't waste your time bastardizing apples by adding a banana to them. If you made a pearana (the concatenation of a pear and a banana) that would be great because I hate those dudes.
Luckily for me, there isn't a strong presence of banana in this drink but there is a strong presence of a pretty great, smooth, berry drink. You don't even know the chia seeds are there, those of you who are concerned about a Mama Chia like drink. These chia seeds have been finely ground that they blend in with everything else and provides you with a nice, thick berry smoothie. I like it. Banapple, you know that apple is doing all the work, right? You are the kid in high school that relies on everyone else in the group to do the project while you sit back and play Ninja Gaiden.
- Website
- http://www.drinkchiavie.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Smoothie
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/28/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Chia\Vie Smoothie Acerola Pina
I liked this drink a lot but man was it punishing. "Mike. Why would you drink something that punishes you, you dumb idiot?" I will tell you, friend. This tastes pretty good. I don't know what an Acerola is. I sure as sugar know what a pineapple is so one cancels out the other. I can tell you that this tastes like cherry pineapple smoothie with sand in it. Yes, I said sand. Jay and I love the Mamma Chia line of drinks and you would think that this is the same thing. Well, if you thought that, you would be wrong. Chia\Vie thought that it would be a good idea to grind up their Chia seeds. Why? I don't know. Is it to increase their effectiveness in your system? The eliminated the step of your body having to open up the seeds so now all it needs to do is absorb the goodness that is Chia seeds. That's my guess at least.
Back to the punishing part, though; It's good but sometimes the chia granules get stuck in my throat and I feel like I'm in the wild west, a place and time I have never actually been, and I got caught up in an ol' fashioned dust storm and didn't close my mouth soon enough and that pesky dirt got caught in my windpipe. It goes down and the flavor more than makes up for the humorous laughter that precedes almost every sip.
Mamma Chia is much smoother and calmer but I think that the flavor is stronger and this is more of a "juice with stuff in it" than a smoothie. Since I didn't write the book on what's what, I can't argue. This is good and I like it.
- Website
- http://www.drinkchiavie.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Smoothie
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/7/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Sunkist Naturals Berry Cherry Bountiful
Some day, and I'm not proud of this, I look back at the last couple days and think to myself, "Holy crap, you idiot. You haven't had fruit in like three days." I'm downright ashamed of myself at times like this. The reflective times. I don't mean to, it's just that I hate bananas and don't like oranges and that's what my girlfriend keeps in the house. Now I know you're saying, "Mike, you can get fruit anywhere. Just buy it." and to that, I will respond with, "I know. Sometimes I just don't." which leads me to realizations like this where I don't eat as much fruit as even myself would like.
Remember when I was on that cruise and all I ate was fruit? What a happy life that was. Now, in my regular life, I eat hamburgers and tacos and ice cream. What a garbage diet. Now I came across this little guy and may be able to turn that all around. Cherries: like 'em. Raspberries: like 'em. Strawberries: Like 'em. Another secret gem to those who buy this is that there are blackberries. Another secret, which should be obvious, is that this is pretty good. You can taste all the fruits, which is great. There isn't any "grit" in there but it's still thicker than a juice, which is to be expected with anything that dares call itself a "smoothie." If you call yourself anything you'd better live up to it. Otherwise you're no better than ol' fruitless Mike.
- Website
- http://www.sunkistsoda.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Smoothie
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/20/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Bolthouse Farms Fruit Smoothie C-Boost
This is my "I feel like I'm about to die, I really need to get better" go-to drink. I mean this small bottle has 2400% of the recommended daily intake of Vitamin C. There is also a butt load of other vitamins and minerals as well. I know it's not really the cure all I pretend it to be, but I'll let myself continue to believe it. I was shocked to see that orange juice was not one of the ingredients. It's mostly a blend of acerola cherries, apple juice and mango puree. There are also some camu camu fruit and maitake mushrooms mixed in for good measure. On top of all the health benefits of the drink, it tastes spectacular. It has a nice thickness and it's just refreshing.
- Website
- http://bolthouse.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/8/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Bolthouse Farms Fruit Smoothie Green Goodness
I know this stuff looks completely disgusting. It looks like in no possible way could it be good. Well guess what? You should have listened to your mother when she said "Don't judge a book by its cover." This may just be the best Bolthouse drink.
It may contain Spinach, Broccoli, Algae, Artichoke and a variety of other things you wouldn't expect so find in a fruit smoothie, but you don't really notice any of them. The fruit holds the flavor strong and sweet. I can't really pinpoint any of the exact fruit flavors, but it's definitely fruity. It's also pretty thick which is great.
I also like to pretend that it has strong medicinal properties, which can heal any ailment that I have. Try to prove me wrong Mr. Wizard!
- Website
- http://bolthouse.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/23/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment