Sparkling (220 reviews)
R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Crisp Apple Cider
Ronald Washington Knudsen was a soda fiend, or so the tale goes. The boy drank soda until his teeth began to rot. They literally fell right out of his head. Just turned black, full of holes and plop there they are sitting delicately on his tongue (just typing that makes me want to throw up). With all of his natural teeth rotted away the dentist/barber of the times gave him some dentures. They were made of wood though and if Ronald drank anything too sugary they would simply begin to dissolve. As a result he started carbonating some straight up fruit juice so that he could still drink bubbly beverages. He had some up and some downs with his experiments. One thing that cannot be disputed is that he struck gold with his sparkling apple cider. He took a wholesome down home Western New York style cider and simply added carbonation. It was a little strong and he feared for his wooden teeth so he added just a touch of water to even it out. The result was perfection in liquid form. Folks around his area were known to drink whole bottles at a time, even though he claimed each bottle was three servings. There were happy taste buds, happy stomachs, happy drinkers and most importantly happy teeth. It was a Christmas miracle.
- Website
- http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/18/2011
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- Name Your Link
Kristall Swedish Cranberry
With Xmas rapidly approaching little Bobby grew more nervous by the second. While other kids his age were ecstatic about all the presents that were about to be gifted upon them, Bobby suffered from a deep-set fear of his family dinner on the 25th of December. It wasn't that his family was crazy (they were), or that they were prone to squabble over the most trivial of things (they would). His nausea stemmed from the fact that he knew that he would not be able to leave the table until he finished all of his cranberry sauce: the quivering gelatinous mound of bitterly sweet garbage that passed as food only on holidays. Last year he sat at the table until 2:30 on the morning before he was able to get it all down. Ugh. In order to better acclimate himself with the taste of this garbage he had begun drinking a class of cranberry juice every day. Each 24-hour period would result in him sneaking a tiny glass from his mom's stash and forcing it down his throat. After a couple of days he was actually okay with it. It had a weird taste but once he got used to it, he even liked it a little. One would think that he would be ready for the big day, but he knew in his heart of hearts that a glass of Ocean Spray was in reality no comparison to the maroon mound that would be set before him.
His aunt was visiting a couple of days before the holiday to help his mom set everything up. She was the cool aunt. You know the kind that doesn't have any kids of her own. They listen to cool music, maybe have a piercing or two. That was aunt Jeanie. She could sense something was up with Bobby, so she cornered him and asked what was up. He told her his fear, and she said not to worry and that they were going for a little adventure. They jumped in her crappy car covered in stickers of bands that no one who wasn't a teenager during the 90's even remembered and drove to Whole Foods. She didn't say a word, and only bought a single bottle of soda. She poured it into an old Taco Bell cup and handed it to Bobby and told him to drink up. He loved it! It was amazing! It was sweet, fruity and nicely carbonated. After his praise slowed down, Aunt Jeanie showed him the bottle. It was Kristall Cranberry soda. She then told him to take another sip and think of the cranberry sauce they were going to be eating in a few days time. Didn't it taste exactly the same, except with some bubbles? As much as he wanted to deny this claim Bobby looked up to his aunt too much to lie to her. She had him this did taste like cranberry sauce, but how was this good and the sauce like a "festering bowl of dog snot?" She told him to just close his eyes and think of this pop when he was eating his dinner. That's just what he did, and you know what? It was still completely disgusting. Bobby realized the problem with cranberry sauce wasn't the flavor. It was that godforsaken texture. He managed to scarf it down by 10PM that night, but he really couldn't wait until he was old enough to prepare his own plate of food on Xmas so he could skip it altogether.
- Website
- http://www.kristallbeverage.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/19/2011
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Cascal Fermented Bright Citrus: Lemongrass Tangerine & Pineapple
The search is complete. We found it. A Cascal that the whole family can enjoy, rather than their skunky, old tasting drink. Here we have a genuine work of art. It's light, fruity, and quite flavorful. Also, it doesn't taste the way a cold to hot to cold to hot to open beer smells. Right away you get some lemongrass, then the tangerine and pineapple dance playfully in your mouth like there's a hootenanny and this is the dirty South circa 1800's. It's got a little fermentation taste, but that is because, number one, it's fermented, and it aids in the intricacies of this drink.
This drink makes me keep faith that there will be more awesomeness to come out of the Cascal laboratory. I've got to hand it to them because their flavor pairings are different than just about every company on the market. They're trying something new and different and this one they got right. Good job team!
- Website
- http://cheerscascal.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Rebiana
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/22/2011
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- Cascal
Polar Seltzer Cranberry Lime
I'm here, at work, post Christmas, all alone. I'm surrounded by the soothing sounds of The Best Show Christmas Extravaganza. I am eating chocolate Teddy Grahams, because I am apparently eight. To inverse the ageism of that, I am drinking cough medicine disguised as cranberry lime seltzer water. It does not taste like cranberry or lime and somehow even has a Vicks tang to it. I don't know how it was done as they added water and natural flavors.
I do not have a cough nor do I want one. I do want to know how products like this make it past testing. I know what a cranberry tastes like and this isn't it. I even will go as far as saying that I know what cranberry lime tastes like together and this isn't it. I will say there is lime in there. I have concentrated and discovered lime much like Christopher Columbus laid claim to the pre-discovered land that is America.
I wish I hadn't eaten all of those Teddy Grahams. The eight year old in me wins again.
- Website
- http://www.polarbev.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Sparkling
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/26/2011
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LifeAid GolferAid
I've been groundskeeper of Bushwood Country Club for quite a few years now. Sure before that I was jocking out in Tibet, but that was only briefly. I mean when the Dalai Lama promises you total consciousness, there's really nowhere else to learn there. So here I am at Bushwood and I have to be honest most of the clientele around here are low-grade amateurs. They swing. They hit. They get stuck in the sand trap. Day in and day out it's the same thing. I just sit back and smile politely. I'm no dummy they are the ones with the cash and I live off the tips.
Lately Ty Webb, the only decent golfer I've seen on these lynx in years has been talking up this Golfer Aid drink. He says it's the secret of his game. Who am I to argue? The man has the focus of a statue. You should hear the weird noses he makes on the green. Along with focus, Mr. Webb has been telling everyone that it improves your balance, flexibility, strength, stamina and endurance. Sounds to me like if you drink it you're going to turn into the Hulk or something, but I promised him I'd give it the old college try, and Carl Spackler is a man of his word.
Hmm. This stuff tastes odd in the best possible way. It has to be the agave, but it's sweet in a very specific way that I can really dig. It actually reminds me of that Brain Toniq I tried a few months back. That was also supposed to improve focus, so maybe this is pure focus that I taste. Is this what my deathbed is going to taste like? I sure hope so. I do feel a tad more clarified. Perhaps this would be the best time to go out again and try to kill that darn gopher. He's been plaguing me long enough. With this extra brainpower he should be a corpse and I bet I'll be able to get in a quick back nine before it gets too dark to see. Mr. Webb sure is a smart man. Funny too. I made it through this whole can and I already want another. It's nice. It really just tastes like agave and it's lightly carbonated. I didn't expect that. With a name with "aid" at the end I was expecting some sorts of sports drink, but this is the sophisticated man's sports drink. It's meant for the upper class, and that is what I am for the day. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
- Website
- http://lifeaidbevco.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Blue Agave Nectar
- Categories
- Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/28/2011
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Zeiglers Sparkling Cider
So it's finally 2012. According to the Mayans it's the beginning of the end. Their highly accurate calendar ends on December 21, 2012. I for one say so be it. The end of the world has to be more exciting than most anything else this world has to offer. Have you ever seen disaster movies? There's never a dull moment. I'm rooting for earthquakes and tidal waves. A new ice age would be terrible. Who wants to be cold, even in death? I'm not saying one way or another if it's true, or if I really care either way. The Thirsty Dudes way is the path of apathy. Funnyman John Hodgman claims to have seen a Mayan calendar and it's secret is that it is full of sexy Mayan firemen. I wonder if those same firemen will usher in the impending apocalypse.
At the beginning of the possible end the only thing to do is to celebrate. I did so by DJing a party at Buffalo's finest dive bar, Mohawk Place. While a majority of the clientele were numbing themselves with beer and liquor, I was filling my bladder with sweet, sweet sparkling apple cider. I half expected it to be gross as I purchased it at a markdown store for a single dollar. Sometimes wonderful things come at a minimum price. This was a quality apple cider that actually tasted like cider and not just apple juice. Naturally sweet. Naturally delicious. This is the kind of sparkling cider we should use to shower the firemen when the end is neigh.
- Website
- http://www.zeiglers.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/1/2012
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Fizz Ed. Pure Fruit Juice & Sparkling Water Red Raspberry
Welcome to the first day of Fizz Ed. My name is Christopher Fabiano and I will be your instructor for the semester. I see a bunch of you have changed into gym shorts and tee shirts with sports logos on them. Those of you that have, like so many before you, are mistaken as to what class you have enrolled in. I understand your confusion due to the fact that we meet in the school's gymnasium and I admit the name can be confusing, especially to the youth of today who's grammar and spelling has gone right down the pooper due to computers and texting. This class is not I repeat IS NOT physical education. It is in fact Fizz Education, or the study of carbonation and more importantly soda and other fizzy beverages. Yes this class is a dream come true for some, but for those of you who are upset about this, there are withdrawal slips by the door. No one's feelings will be hurt if you walk out that door.
Okay now that everyone but six of you have left let's get down to business. Basically this semester we will learn the science behind soda and by the end of the semester you will be brewing your own. All you stoner slackers out there, I know you're thinking that you can use this knowledge to brew your own beer. Well, I hate to break it to you, but that is a different process altogether and while it is interesting the school board won't let me teach it. I mean come on it's a shock that this class exists at all.
Before we start can anyone tell me the difference between soda pop and sparkling juice? No one? Well this is certainly going to be a long semester. Okay the difference really boils down to the amount of sugar added to the drink. I'm glad so many people left because I only have a handful of cans to share with everyone. So take one and pass the bag to the person next to you. What you now hold in your hands is a near perfect example of a sparkling juice. It is also a brand I created to help me in teaching this class. Like the name? Ideally I would have used fresh fruit juice, but with budget cuts what they are I had to settle with using concentrates. I then added carbonated water, and bam magic was made. Notice I did not add any sweeteners. The fruit juice is nice and sweet as it is and it makes for a wonderfully refreshing drink. For this batch I used red raspberries and I think you can really taste it. Of course due to those aforementioned budget cuts I couldn't use pure raspberry juice, so I cut it with apple juice. You can slightly taste the apples, but it still is mostly raspberry. It truly is a wonderful thing if I do say so myself.
For the next time we meet I want you each to write a 25-page paper describing the evolution of soda and how it differs from sparkling juices. What did you think this was going to be a blow off class? Think again!
- Website
- http://www.fizz-ed.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/9/2012
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Mash A Low Calorie Water Drink Pomegranate Blueberry
Oh gee. I hope this doesn't taste like loganberry. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like loganberry. I kind of have to, I mean, I am from Western New York. So, to reiterate, I hope this doesn't taste like loganberry. Oh, fantastic, it tastes like loganberry. Oh great, it's carbonated and filled with artificial sweeteners. Awesome, a diet, carbonated loganberry. Plus, factor in the point that I don't know how much I just paid for this and this adds up to the start of a horror story of a drink. If you had to bottle and flavor a horror movie, it would be this drink. If you could have a flavored knife cut across your jugular, it would be a terribly dull knife that, when licked, would taste like this. If you were to be disemboweled by an inanimate object, a large bottle of this would have protruding arms and legs pulling at your entrails, all the while laughing menacingly and squirting it's liquid in your mouth.
- Website
- http://www.drinkmash.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/12/2012
- Comments
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Natrona Bottling Company Champayno Extra Dry Ginger Ale
We made it. Never in our wildest dreams would we think that we would make it to two thousand reviews. Did you know that there were two thousand drinks out there that weren't alcoholic? You might have, but come on it's still impressive. In order to celebrate, we drank this Champayno and it wasn't bad. It tastes like a fine dry ginger ale. If I had to drink non-alcoholic champagne, and the sparkling fruit juice stuff wasn't available, or I was at a lawyers party for some reason, like I was trying to get on the board, or was dating one of the members of the boards' daughter and she brought me to the party, I could drink this and not look like so much of a child. Not overly sweet and different than most ginger ale you have had.
Anyhow, thank you for your support over these past two thousand plus reviews. We've got plenty more in store for you so keep tuned in.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/20/2012
- Comments
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Cascade Ice Pink Grapefruit
The zero calorie Cascade Ice drinks are basically just flavored seltzer water. The 2-calorie version on the other hand is lightly sweetened with sucralose. It’s not enough for it to taste overly diet. Actually, this is the least diet tasting diet drink I have ever tasted. It actually is made with pink grapefruit juice concentrate, which gives it an authentic grapefruit taste. The artificial sweetener makes sure that it’s not overly bitter like straight grapefruit juice would be. This also has an incredibly strong grapefruit scent to it. I enjoyed this way more than anyone would have expected.
- Website
- http://www.cascadeicewater.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/28/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment