Sports/Dietary Supplement (252 reviews)
Mix 1 All Natural Nutritional Shake Vanilla
Welcome to your friendly neighborhood ice cream shoppe. How may I help you? Let me see if I got this right. You want me to make a bowl of our delicious French vanilla ice cream and then let it sit out in the sun until it has completely melted? Then you want me to take that bowl, pour it into a glass and put it in the fridge to cool it down, but not so that it re-congeals into solid iced cream again? Sir, I don’t know why you would want that, but my manager always tells me the customer is always right, so I’ll get right on that. It will probably take about two hours though, is that okay? Alright then, I’ll see you again in two hours.
Welcome back sir. I have to admit I was intrigued by your request, so I made one for myself as well. It’s okay I guess, but nothing I would really care for again. Oh, you were doing an experiment because you drank a mix 1 vanilla nutritional shake and you thought this is exactly what it tasted like? That’s one weird shake you drank sir. Oh the results weren’t exactly that you expected, and the Mix 1 drink wasn’t nearly as thick and it had a stronger French vanilla flavor? But other than that, it was pretty similar? Well sir I have to say that if that is what your nutritional shake tasted like it certainly must have been better than most. Congratulations Now, can I have the $1.89 you owe me for the iced cream?
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/15/2013
- Comments
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Spartos Protein Water Grape Lemonade
I went to a school and our mascot was a Spartan. That being said, I feel like one out of every ten schools has a Spartan as their mascot. Seems like a limited pool of available mascots. Anyhow, had I cared about sports, and was on the football team in high school, and this company existed, I might write them a little something like this:
Dear Spartos,
My name is Mike and I am the defensive tackle for my high school football team. Why am I bringing this up? Because our mascot is the Spartan. Why do you care? Look, sir or madame, I know that your company is called "Spartos" but we're all coming from the same region with this thing.
I was wondering if you would be nice enough to sponsor us with your protein water. We could have those theater nerds paint us a banner with your logo on it. Also, I'm only calling them nerds because that's what we, the football team, have to do. Haven't you ever seen a John Hughes film? The football team, AKA "jocks" always pick on the theater kids or anyone that is creative and can think for themselves. We don't want to, but we have to. They understand. They watch the same movies we do. Anyhow, after testing your grape lemonade drink, I think that it's something that we, the team, can get behind. It's got a little bit of a fake sweetener taste and a little bit of that protein thickness, but you kept the calories down which is good for us stereotypical high school football kids. We like to blast Smashmouth in the weight room and drink this because it makes the proteins go where they need to like our quads. The grape and lemonade are actually noticed and appreciated. Good fruit and tartness from both players, much like me on the fields interactive with my tight end. No, not my butt. Get it? See, I'm seventeen and think that butts are hilarious. I'll grow out of that, right?
If you think that we would help push product, please let us know. We are a hard working team with a mediocre to poor record that could use all the help we can get. Yes we will share with the wrestling team but we will not share with the video game club. Those nerds are already sponsored by Mountain Dew. I don't know what it is about video games and Mountain Dew but those two are eternally together.
Sincerely,
High school junior, fake, dramatized, Mike Literman.
- Website
- http://www.spartos.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sweetleaf Stevia
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/11/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
VBlast Gator Pit Lemon Lime
Hi, Skip Gator here. When diving into the gator pit to get your wrestle on it’s very important to be hydrated and to have your daily serving of vitamins. Now many of my competitors do this the old fashioned way with a bottle of water and some multi-vitamins from the drug store. I say, “Who has time for that?” I need to get getting myself psyched up for the rush of the fight. That is why I combine the two and down a bottle of V Blast. They even have formulated a specific blend for me that they call “Gator Pit.” They know my love of all things green includes limes, so they made my drink lemon lime flavored, heavy on the lime. Mrs. Gator says that it smells like a green freeze pop, I can’t argue with her. She also says it’s way more lime than lemon and tastes like that self same freeze pop if it didn’t have a harshness to it. What can I say? My lady knows how to exactly pin point a flavor. Don’t get her wrong, she doesn’t mean that in a bad way either, it’s just the way things are.
The fun in V Blast comes in the fact that the vitamins are stored in the cap and when you open it they are dropped into the liquid below. That helps keep the vitamins fresh for optimal use by the body. It also gives the whole thing a bit of a children’s vitamin flavor as well. It’s interesting and fun. Oh did I mention the vitamin flavor severely decreases the taste of the sucralose used to sweeten this puppy? Well it does, and for that I’m grateful. You gotta keep in top shape to tangle with a gator and sugar is a big no no in my world.
Welp, the bells a ringing and that means it’s time for me to jump into the pit. With the extra boost I got from V Blast this fight will be a cinch.
- Website
- http://www.vblast.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/11/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Green Fit Dragonfruit
If you looked at me, you would say, "There is a kid who doesn't work out." I'm not fat, or even flabby, but I'm not terribly in shape. It's not for lack of trying. I ride my bike and have had multiple gym memberships. I just can never find the time. You know what I'm talking about. It's just such a hassle to go to work, come home, eat, change, go to the gym, get sweaty, come home, shower. Whatever. That's nonsense. I'll just eat less so I don't have to deal with that garbage.
I don't understand the whole carb up before or after and sugar now and not then and this is when you add protein and whatever. That whole rigamaroll. For this reason, you don't see me drinking a lot of protein drinks. That's half the reason why. The other half reason is because they can be chalky, tangy, and all sorts of terrible stuff. This drink is trying to not be but still can't shake the crud factory that is it's inevitable adulthood as a protein drink.
Initially you have the promise of something good. You get a good fruit flavor but before you have time to discover what it is your taste buds are quickly rinsed by an over abundance of Stevia. After your mouth recovers from that, it's that familiar taste of protein drinks; the slightly thick, gritty, odd taste. There is also yerba mate as an ingredient, which provides you with a bit of bitterness that might actually salvage some of the good, drinkable flavor that this drink has.
If you are familiar with protein drinks, this may be good. I think that less Stevia might save this drink at least a little bit. You can't win them all. If the guy who works at Subway has taught me anything it's that "no one's battin' 1000."
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/8/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
KIDStrong Lemon Lime
Dude? I'll drink thicker drinks all of the day. Creamy, syrupy, so on and so forth. I'll do it. Thing about it is that I want to know what I'm getting into when I open drinks. This drink was a strange, syrupy drink. It tasted fine, a lemon lime drink that isn't carbonated which, if you think about it, is kind of weird. When have you ever drunk a drink that is lemon lime that isn't pop? I don't think they make many of those. Associating a flavor with a type of drink aside, this drink is still a little strange. It tastes like they used a gallon of agave. I like agave, but it seems to make the drinks a little thicker than you might be used to.
Kids are dumb. They'll drink anything as long as it's sweet. This is sweet and has kids playing soccer and skateboarding and stuff on the package. Kids will love it. It's made for kids, not disgustingly cynical thirty year olds. Kids? Get some standards. Me? Lay off kids. They're just kids.
- Website
- http://www.kidstrong.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/5/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
A-GAME Cross Functional Beverage Citrus
In the beginning there was Gatorade, and life seemed good for those who played sports. The big win didn’t count until the winning team dumped a cooler of electrolyte filled liquid on their head coach. Then Powerade began being stocked on shelves and in coolers and people the whole world ‘round said, “Why the hell do we need this inferior product when Gatorade exists?” The people were right to judge and Gatorade continued to reign supreme. Then the stars aligned and Vitamin Water burst onto the scene. It was like the beloved Gatorade, but with added vitamins and minerals to make it even more functional. On top of that the flavors actually had a variety of tastes, unlike the general Gatorade base with hints of other flavor. Thus began the age of the vitamin, but with all dynasties hubris took hold and Vitamin Water stopped coming out with new flavors and the world grew bored with them. They still drank it, but they did not love it the way they once did.
Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to a new age, a new dynasty of rehydration/sports drinks. It goes by the name A Game and it is what you have been waiting for. It is a drink that falls somewhere between the greatness of Gatorade and Vitamin Water. It has all the properties of a classic bottle of Gatorade, but it is bursting with flavor. It also has a bunch of vitamins added to it to round it out. You want to rehydrate? Well this has some sea salt in it and it puts other electrolytes to shame. It also has clover honey. That’s right, they care so much that they used honey. Everyone loves honey. It even calms those angry bees.
With a flavor called “citrus” you would expect something generic like orange or lemon-lime, but this has a nice blend of different citrus fruit flavors that stands out on its own due to the sea salt and honey.
If this doesn’t start being carried in gas stations and mini-marts all around the country I believe it may be a sign of the impending apocalypse.
- Website
- http://www.drinkagame.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/3/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
- Buy Now
- A-GAME (Citrus)
A-GAME Cross Functional Beverage Tropical
I'll tell you what I need now is a taste of the tropics. I'm tired of the snow and the cold. Layers are for idiots. If I didn't have any friends or family, number one: I feel like I would be really depressed, but number two: I would go somewhere nice. I went to Key West a couple of years back and that was nice. It has a certain small-town, local, petina feel to it. I liked it. The entire time I was drinking this I wanted to be back there. I got a good taste of pineapple but I can't really place anything else. That's not to say it was bad, I just couldn't decipher any other fruits. It had that salty, Gatorade taste to it that I somehow like. Oh, nothing suits me after a long day of crushing weights like a nice, salty juice.
This was good. The flavor line is pretty promising, too. Pomegranate Cherry and the other one is just a generic "citrus" which is fine with me. They are something to look forward to. Am I at all on my A game? Nope. I don't know what that sensation is at all but I'm quenched. I don't know the streets, but I might say that I'm half way there.
- Website
- http://www.drinkagame.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/28/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
- Buy Now
- A-GAME (Tropical)
Gatorade Perform 02 Fierce Melon
Can someone look back at the Truman Show-esque tapes of my life and tell me exactly what happened to make me such a fool for melon? When I was younger I never disliked melon, but I always thought of it as just there. In fruit salad it was the filler. One of the greatest Simpsons’ quotes is about how cantaloupe doesn’t matter when it comes to honey dew. I don’t think a good laugh is enough to change my taste buds though. It remains a mystery, but I love melon these days.
For years I have been talking about how all I want is a bottle of cantaloupe juice. Think of how amazing that would be. It would be so damn flavorful. The last place I expected to get a little fix for my urge would be in a bottle of Gatorade. While this is a far cry from a glass of actual melon juice, it does taste enough like a mix of cantaloupe and honey dew to satisfy me until science comes through for me. It mostly has that general Gatorade flavor, with notes of said melons. This is the kind of Gatorade I would drink at an early morning sports practice. Remember that dumb summer when I decided to join the school football team and had to waste my vacation getting up way to early? You don’t? Well looks like you should rewind those tapes of my life a bit further. I forced a fumble once that won us a game. That play probably consisted of 75% of the game time I actually got. Go make some popcorn, you’re in for a wild ride.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/25/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Zum XR Xtended Release Sports Drink Natural Alpine Berry
If this bottle weren’t completely sealed I would have questioned whether or not someone had replaced the beverage with some sort of poison. Actually, do you guys thing someone could have done that with a syringe in the nub at the bottom of the bottle? It really didn’t taste right. It had one of those flavors that set off alarms in your taste buds/brain that warn you to make sure you’re not drinking antifreeze. On top of that when I first shook it up there were these clouds floating in the drink that were definitely a different consistency than the rest of the drink. It’s a little disturbing.
So what we have here is a bottle that tastes like watered down berries mixed with some sort of coolant. Not exactly what I look for in a beverage. It’s a totally different chemical taste than other energy drinks. Apparently this is a natural poison.
As it turns out it either wasn’t poison at all, or I have a high tolerance. I drank this a while ago, and I have yet to shuffle off this mortal coil, or show any signs of doing so. Looks like “heart stoppage” does not need to be included in the list of possible side effects after all.
- Website
- http://www.zumxr.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Natural Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/11/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
MiO Fit Arctic Grape
Deep in the Alaskan wilderness lies a group of people exiled from civilization. They were misunderstood and should have never been banished like they were, in the middle of the night with pitchforks, flaming sticks, and arrows, like modern day Frankenstein monsters. They are occasionally air dropped supplies so that they can live. The people that put them there aren't bad people, just complete idiots because the people that they sent away were the smartest people in each of the towns. When they opened their mouths, genius came out and the townspeople didn't understand or felt threatened. Now there is a small town that is run by geniuses and has things that larger towns don't have like perpetual motion power, no government, friendly robots, fair trade, and a research and development facility that puts the drug companies to shame. Inside this facility they have a type of grape that is indigenous to only there and they dubbed it the "arctic grape." It is a marvel of science that only such smart people could create. Inside and unlike in regular grapes, there are vitamins, minerals, and electrolytes that could only previously be in sugary sports drinks. They use it in a juice that they drink all the time. It's a light purple color and tastes great. It doesn't have and calories so they can all stay as fit as they always were. It tastes a bit between a candy grape and a "real" grape and doesn't taste like a diet drink, which is a nice middle ground for both the adults and children at the town.
There is little to no communication between the people that sent them away and the townspeople so they aren't aware of such technological advances. They like it that way because it's their secret way of getting back at them. They live far better, richer lives among their own kind than with the likes of those dumb dummies.
- Website
- http://www.facebook.com/MiO
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Drink Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/3/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
