Thirsty Dudes :: Category :: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Function Urban Detox Goji Berry

This Function flavor tastes the most like it should be a flavor of Vitamin Water. That's not a bad thing. It definitely tastes like goji berry. It's fairly tangy and fruity. You know what I really don't know how else to describe the taste. It is good I will tell you that. Give it a shot. Mull it over your palette.

Website: http://www.functiondrinks.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Cane Sugar

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 4/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 9/30/2010

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Buy Now: Function: Urban Detox Goji Berry Drink, 16.9 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Function Light Weight Acai and Pomegranate

All diet-ness aside this wasn't bad. As far as diet drinks go, this was actually pretty good. A little tinge from the sweeteners and the acai, but even as far as acai drinks go, it was one of the better drinks I've had.

My hat off to Function for actually creating a drink that has five, yeah, that's right, 5, calories and 1 gram of sugar and not having it taste putrid. If you are on a diet, and you are looking for something different, try this out. This company is pretty fantastic and has actual scientists behind their drinks.

Website: http://www.functiondrinks.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Acesulfame Potassium

Categories: Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Mike Literman on 10/13/2010

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Buy Now: Function: Light Weight Acai Pomegranate Drink, 16.9 Ounce Bottle (Pack of 12)

Function Shock Sports Lemon-Lime Calamansi

This instantly reminds me of a much higher quality Gatorade. It has a very similar taste to their lemon lime drink, but it's a lot lighter, and the taste is stronger. I had no idea what Calamansi was, so I had to do some research. It turns out it is a citrus fruit from Southeast Asia.
I'm pretty sure Function has discontinued this line, but if you find it I suggest picking some up. If you're in the market for a sports drink that actually has natural additives in it that will help with your recovery time, look no further.

Website: http://www.functiondrinks.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Cane Sugar

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 10/13/2010

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Powerade ION4 Sour Melon

When I was in high school, I drank Powerade almost every day because it was the only thing besides water in the vending machines before 1pm. I know a lot of people hate the taste, but I don't mind it at all.

Nowadays, I only drink Powerade (or Gatorade) when I'm sick. I made an exception today because I am a big fan of sour drinks so I had to try this. While it does have a slight sour flavor, it's definitely not as strong as I hoped it would be. When I drink/eat something sour I want my lips to pucker. Sadly this didn't happen.

Also, this really doesn't taste like melon. It might be the color that's throwing my taste buds off, but it tastes more like green apple to me. Overall it's a decent drink, and probably the best Powerade flavor I've ever had. It's super refreshing and makes me feel like I should be playing kickball at the park with a bunch of my friends.

Website: http://www.powerade.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: High Fructose Corn Syrup

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 4/5

Reviewed By: Derek Neuland on 10/13/2010

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Function Alternative Energy Strawberry and Guava

Woah guava. Holy guava? Which sounds better? Just opening this bottle, you get a rush of guava. Tasting it...different. Initially, I didn't like it. It tasted like...unripened fruit, but I think that it's just actual fruit. This is me giving them the benefit of the doubt. After you kind of "get it", it gets better. It's not an ultra sweet drink. Strong scent, but light flavor. You do get strawberries, no doubt, but don't expect "candy" like strawberry.

I'm not into energy drinks, so the fact that this is and doesn't taste like a handful of Skittles is pretty great. This is a dietary supplement and I also a time-release energy drink. I never really do anything with an exorbitant amount of caffeine so chances are I would not drink something like this on a regular basis. I don't really get those mid-day sleepies that a lot of people get, but I feel that it's one of those "I always drink coffee at the same time so I crash" things. It’s one of the perks to not drinking coffee ever.

All in all, it's not bad. If you are looking for something better than coffee and (probably) better than those 5 Hour Energy shots, give this a whirl. After all physicians created it.

Website: http://www.functiondrinks.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Cane Sugar

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Mike Literman on 10/15/2010

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Buy Now: Function Drinks Function Alternative Energy Strawberry Guava, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Function Alternative Energy Acai Grape

I didn't expect this to be so fruity. I drank an acai drink earlier today, and this didn't really taste like acai, but it was still tasty. It kind of tasted like if some really good fruit punch was mixed with Vitamin Water. There is a weird mixture of ingredients in this. Purple Sweet Potato Extract? Strange. It is an all-natural energy drink, so that's nice. I always appreciate energy drinks that aren't "toxic tasting" and full of weird man made chemicals.

Website: http://www.functiondrinks.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Cane Sugar

Categories: Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 10/16/2010

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Buy Now: Function Drinks Function Alternative Energy Acai Grape, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Viso Strawkey Strawberry Key Lime

My first experience with Viso was this summer at the Portland Zine Symposium. Viso was kind enough to donate 50 cases of their products to the 2 day zine fest. Seeing as I was one of the organizers and barely slept that weekend, Viso's energy drinks were what kept me going.

I picked this bottle up at the store thinking it was an energy drink. To my surprise, it wasn't. The bottle labels it as a dietary supplement, but it's sorta like Vitamin Water. This thing is loaded with vitamins (12 to be exact) plus minerals, calcium, and a whole lot more. On top of that, it's an organic drink and is a local company to Portland.

As far as taste goes, I'm not crazy about it. It doesn't go down really smooth. While I can taste the strawberry and key lime, immediately after there's a strong bitter after taste. After drinking a few sips of it, there's a thick feeling in the back of my throat that makes it hard to swallow. I've had this same thing happen with every flavor I've tasted, so perhaps there's something in it that's making my throat do that.

I know a lot of people in Portland love this drink, but I can't really get into it. While it's a good company and a super healthy drink, it just doesn't taste good to me.

Website: http://www.drinkviso.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Organic Cane Sugar

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 2/5

Reviewed By: Derek Neuland on 10/19/2010

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Fuze Defensify Raspberry Camu Camu

This tastes diet. It really tastes like there's artificial sweetener in it, but nope, just sugar. It has a faint raspberry taste, but that diet flavor, just takes over. Maybe that's what camu camu tastes like. I had never even heard of it before I saw this drink.
It does have a bunch of vitamins in it, but the health benefits from those are worth dealing with the flavor to me.

Website: http://www.drinkfuze.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Sugar

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 2/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 10/26/2010

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Function Urban Detox Pomegranate Cherry

This is by far, and so far, my favorite Function drink. From the first smell of it I knew I was going to like it. It has a very light flavor. Very light. It's not too sweet at all and actually goes down really smooth. It's essentially a juice as far as I'm concerned. I don't really know what a "dietary supplement" is when it's like this. I can see a protein shake being a dietary supplement. Should I have not had the other half of yesterday's roast beef sub with this? Should I have just drunk this? I should try drinking more and eating less. Perhaps that is the point of a dietary supplement.

Anyhow, it's very strong in it's cherry flavor and you don't really get a whole lot of pomegranate except for at the "end" of your sip. It's light, simple, not too sweet, and it claims to combat sickness, hangovers, and pollutants. Not a bad gig, right?

Website: http://www.functiondrinks.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Cane Sugar

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 4/5

Reviewed By: Mike Literman on 10/27/2010

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Buy Now: Function Drinks Function Urban Detox Pomegranate Cherry, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Sobe Lifewater Cherimoya Punch

Not the worst. That's saying something because when it comes to that yumberry one I've had in the past. It smells a bit like pear, according to my friend Mike. The taste isn't too strong and for that reason, it wins. It's a melon-y, watered down lemonade taste. It's not bad. It's probably a great diet drink because, after all, it has 0 calories.