Sports/Dietary Supplement (259 reviews)
Celsius Non Carbonated Outrageous Orange
I’ve had my fair share of these drinks, and this is probably the best tasting of the bunch. It has a generic fake orange flavor to it with a hint of ginger (no burn) that tries to fight the fake sugar taste that lingers at the end. The fact that it is non-carbonated only helps. It goes down smooth, and it serves its function.
For once my issue with a functional beverage isn’t with the flavor, it’s with the name. I really have no idea why I have never questioned it before, but why is this company called Celsius? What does that have to do with eliminated calories? I mean I get that they are trying to tie it in with burning calories, and flames are hot and Celsius is a unit of measurement for temperature. It just seems like there has to be something more behind it, and I want to know what it is. There’s more to this story, and the ex-reporter in me wants to find out what it is. The ex-15-year-old in me couldn’t care less and just wants to go and play video games until his friends call. Guess who’s going to win out?
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/19/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Green Fit Pomegranate
If pomegranates were my kryptonite this drink would surely be my doom. While I hate that I just made a Superman reference (a cheater if I ever saw one) I could think of no metaphor that would be more fitting. There are tons of “weird” ingredients in here, but the pomegranate sneaks up and just punches you square in the nose. Oh good now I have blood all over my shirt. Oh wait, that’s just pomegranate juice, because I dribble when I drink like a baby. Either way that’s never coming out…great.
This is strong, tart and functional. It has a lot of what you need to get through the day in a healthy manner. Sure I could do without the stevia, but the pomegranate is so strong that it buries it a bit. You know I could actually see myself drinking this for pleasure, which is not a common thing with these types of drinks. It really just tastes like a strong juice with a little something extra that doesn’t bother me all that much. Huh. Who’d have thought?
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/31/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
ThinQ Mixed Berry
I don't know where to start with this. It tastes...funny. Right off the bat, there is a strange bitterness that I can only attribute to my arch nemesis Acai while teamed up with that other guy I'm increasingly not too hot on, Reb-A. Oh, it's way down on the list but it's still there, crapping up the joint. The mixed berry doesn't even get a chance to shine through because those two hams are in the spotlight telling bad jokes that are borderline racist and making everyone in the crowd feel uncomfortable. You get a little bit of the mixed berry here and there. If I can continue my comedy show analogy, it's like the mixed berry is the MC who is better than all the acts. Perfect. That's the perfect analogy. I did it. Done. Peace. I'm out.
- Website
- http://www.drinkthinq.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/17/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
KIDStrong Clearly Orange
Do you know what I’m in support of? Kids being strong. Keep in mind that I’m not around children very often, except the four or five that my friends have, but it seems every kid I see now a days is a little chunker. I blame television, video games and the fact that there is so much garbage in food these days. Sure my friends and I had TV and video games when we were younger, but we also spent a majority of our time outdoors exploring and skateboarding. Perhaps the fault lies in the growing number of creeps in the world that make parents not want to let their kids wander out of their sight. Who knows for sure?
Anyways, yes I am pro kid health. This drink is essentially Vitamin Water that is formulated specifically for children. It has all the vitamins and minerals that they need to be healthy and strong. Well, those alone won’t make them that way, they do also need to stop being so lazy and go build a fort by the creek or something like that, looking out for Chesters the whole time.
This orange beverage tastes like someone took some weak Tang and mixed in some ground up Flintstone’s Children’s Vitamins. It tastes like it was made from a powder mix, but I chalk (no pun intended) that up to the high levels of vitamins in it. It is in fact a bit too chalky for my liking. If it were anymore than 12oz, I doubt I would have been able to finish it. I had a brief struggle with the amount I had, as the chalkiness got worse as I reached the bottom, even though I shook it up. This is a good concept, but the flavor just wasn’t quite there.
- Website
- http://www.kidstrong.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/12/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Lo-Gly Low Glycemic Juice Blend Beverage Mango Mojito
Sharon was sick of all the rules. There were so many rules. No carbs. No bread. Watch your salt. Exercise then carbs. No bacon. Salad but no creamy dressing. No milk. No cheese. Diet pop. Artificial sweeteners are bad for you. So many rules.
Sharon works hard, alright. She eats with moderation, exercises regularly, and looks good. Look at me. She looks good. She doesn't need to worry as much as she does but she does because that's what happens.
She was talking to a friend who was a personal trainer and he said he found this awesome drink. It's a low glycemic drink with less calories, carbs, and sugar. It's a win-win, right? Well...not quite. If you drink it slowly, it's alright. It's like a slightly mango limeade. If you drink it quickly, the Stevia can be a bit overpowering. Sharon, who drank wheat grass on multiple occasions, can deal with that. She enjoys drinking slowly and loving life. Now if she could only spend less time at the gym and more time finding a man who tells her that she can spend less time working out and more time with him, she'd be all set.
- Website
- http://www.lo-gly.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Blue Agave Nectar
- Categories
- Diet, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/8/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Myoplex Original Chocolate Fudge
My boss, in an attempt to save his liver, is eating well. Very well. So well that he doesn't eat hamburgers, sandwiches, tacos, and pizza with us but instead he goes to the gym, rides a few miles on the bike and eats some fruit and sometimes comes back and drinks a protein drink. Today he had this and generously offered some to me.
First of all, I can't appreciate that "health" drinks have accepted the fact that everyone loves the flavors of junk food. I would say that "chocolate fudge" might be the most gluttonous flavor that has ever existed. No, eating chocolate fudge is not gluttonous and no I don't think less of you if you eat it. If I had some in front of me, it wouldn't be in front of me because it would be gone. I don't even care if that makes sense. You know what I mean. This drink is a gift to people losing weight, I'll tell you what. It tastes like a thick, chocolate milkshake and doesn't take a trip to Proteinburg for a couple seconds. Once we round the corner to that final destination, you get that slightly chalky, artificially sweetened taste but it's not terrible. It's expected so it doesn't catch you off guard.
My boss is more fit that me. He might be more fit than you. He's a big dude and lost a ton of weight in order to save his liver. I eat semi-poorly and he is not rubbing off on me. Sure, I would like to eat better and work out, become a hard bodied man of a man, but I don't have time for that. For now I'll eat poorly but eat less than my body wants. That's how I attack obesity; by malnutrition.
- Website
- http://www.eas.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/3/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Uve Gourmet Weight Loss Black Cherry Lemonade
James. You did something nice here. Here I am, laid out in bed and you thought of me and brought me a drink. You are a treat. You overheard my like for black cherry and lemonade and you found me a black cherry lemonade. Not only that but it's not terrible for my sick body. Not only that but it tastes pretty good. Not only that but...well I guess that's it.
I spent the last three days just up-chucking all over the place. I've got old newspapers and sawdust and kitty litter all over the place covering up my hurl spots. Look around you. I don't know why you took your shoes off. I know it's typically good etiquette to do so but you should have known at the mound of dirty towels covered in pickles from McDonald's hamburgers and french fries that you shouldn't have bothered. Anyhow, this is all sparkling, fruitful, lemonady and not terrible. It's got a little Stevia taste to it but it's better than that awful diet taste.
You really are a good friend. Hey, I appreciate you coming but could you do me a favor and push that pile of napkins covered in Big Mac special sauce, mustard, and a little bit of puke off the counter before you leave? I'm trying to watch Along Came Polly and can't see Jennifer Aniston's wonderful face though my mound of spew. Thanks dude. You're the best. You can use that hockey stick over there. Please don't use your hands. It might make me lose this drink, too.
- Website
- http://uvegourmet.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Juice, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/21/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Agua Enerviva Lo Cal Natural Energy Fruit Punch + Guarana
I hate to always bring reviews of drink such as this back to this company, but this tastes like a diet Vitamin Water. Sure there are dozens of other companies I could compare it too, but I think most people are more familiar with Vitamin Water than those other companies, so it gives them a better base for comparison. Well that was completely unnecessary and boring.
I will say that while this is a fruit punch, it’s not the type of drink I think of when I hear the words fruit punch. I think companies should avoid that phrase because it makes me think of Hawiian Punch and the like, which no one really needs to drink. This is not just a bog bottle of red syrup. This is pretty light and has a more adult fruit punch flavor. I think it’s interesting that they still sweeten this with cane sugar, just not as much. They make up the difference with sucralose. The mixture doesn’t give it that deadly 80’s diet flavor that I dread. It tastes diet, but not like poison.
The thing that differentiates Agua Enerviva from Vitamin Water is that their drinks have guarana in them, which is a natural source of caffeine. There’s not enough in here to make you crazy and jittery, but it’s a nice slight push to get you through your day.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/9/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Fitness Edge Protein Drink Wild Berry
I sat down at my desk while I was drinking this pondering what exactly I had to say about this beverage when my decision was made for me. I had put it down after taking a sip to open up my browser and my cat, Other Barry, jumped up and instantly started licking it. After that there was no stopping him. It was like a killer dog getting it’s first taste of blood. Barry needed more and he needed it instantly. I kept pulling it away from him and he kept moving towards the bottle. I covered the top with my hand and he started pawing at me to get me to move it. When I finally put the cap back on, he just started gnawing at the bottle to get the sweet nectar that was inside. He’s not the type of cat to eat “people food,†so Fitness Edge should take it as a great compliment.
I don’t know if cats taste the same things us humans do, but to me this tastes like a decent berry juice with whole milk mixed in. That’s the whey protein doing its work. I normally not a fan of protein drinks, because I think milk is gross, and whey is grosser still. The berry in this does a good job masking the whey, but it’s still there. That weird thick chalky aftertaste as if it’s starting to spoil is just not for me. Keep in mind this drink isn’t as bad as others I have tried, so I will give it decent marks. I mean it’s a drink with a certain function, so you should expect some sort of weird taste to it. I’d give this a three, but Other Barry would give it top marks. He’s still trying to break into the bottle.
- Website
- http://www.drinkfitnessedge.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/29/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Lucozade Energy Original
I saw this in every rest stop and convenience store that I went to while in the UK. Nothing about it looked appealing to me, so I passed it by every single time (take note that this was before Thirsty Dudes, so I had no contractual obligation to drink it). The label looks childish and not appetizing. As my ladyfriend pointed out something about it is reminiscent of Irn Bru, which I am also not a fan of.
I don’t know where Mike got this from, but when he handed it to me I sighed and said, “Fine I’ll do it.” I really expected this to be bubble gum flavored, which would have been infinitely worse than what it actually tastes like. It really tastes like carbonated sugar water with a little bit of lemon in it. There is that weird Gatorade flavor in there as well. What I expected to be some sort of weird, crazy British energy drink turns out to be a slightly carbonated sports drink. There isn’t even any caffeine in it. All of its “energy” seems to come from sugar and lactose acid. Now I have no idea why athletes would want to drink something carbonated immediately before or after crushing it on the field, but I guess that’s what people do “across the pond.” Man I hate that phrase.
- Website
- http://www.lucozade.com/
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Sweetener
- Glucose Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/28/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
