Sports/Dietary Supplement (537 reviews)

Hey Mama! Tea For Mommies Lemon Herbal Iced Tea

Hey Mama! Tea For Mommies Lemon Herbal Iced Tea

To be a woman is rough. If this is any indication of what motherhood is like, it sucks. I've got a kid and child rearing also is very difficult and, at times, sucks. If I knew that the action of carrying a baby tastes like a lemon V8, then I might propose adoption to my increasingly unfortunate "baby mama."

This is a lemon red tea. There is raspberry in it but the lemon is real lemony and overwhelming. If you made yourself a nice, cool glass of red tea and then took one of those little bottles of lemon juice and just went haywire and squirted an excessive amount in it, you would have this. I, with every sip, do not know what's happening in here. It's just so overwhelmingly lemon flavored that it distracts from any other flavor.

Maybe, as a man, I am missing the point that...I don't know, lemons are really good for pregnant women? As a man, who is not pregnant at this current point in time, this is not for me.

Website
http://teaformomstobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 10th, 2015
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Hey Mama Teas. 3 pack/12 ounce bottles. Lemon Glow. Prenatal Blend.

Nuwi Quinoa Smoothie Blueberry

Nuwi Quinoa Smoothie Blueberry

A little grit does a body good. Grit lets you know that there are good things going on in there. Natural things. Gritty things. When you describe things as gritty, though, that's not fantastic. I wish there was a different term to use that wouldn't instantly be seen as something undesirable. This is a gritty drink and although it didn't touch the fancy of everyone who tried it, it wasn't that bad. It smelled terribly but it didn't taste too bad. The banana might have had a stronger taste than that of the blueberry and in doing so, it kind of had a "soft" taste to it. This just kind of tasted like a semi-gritty healthy blueberry drink.

Someone who reviewed movies, not drinks, gave this a two. Me, if it was possible to see a three and know that it was a "soft three" then that's what this would be. It earned a three no doubt but it is on the lower side of the threes and not the 3.8 side of the scale. Eeked by, if you will.

Website
http://www.nuwi.us
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave
Categories
Chunky, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 2nd, 2015
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Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Vanilla Bean

Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Vanilla Bean

There is an organic balance in an organic valley in an organic town in and organic state in an organic country in an organic world in an organic dimension. That’s right, there is a parallel dimension to ours in which everything is organic. Without the aid of manmade materials and products, life expectancy isn’t as long as it is here, but the people there know no other way, so they have no complaints. When they drink their vanilla bean milk protein shakes they are quite accustomed to it tasting like ever so slightly thicker milk that has had vanilla beans soaking in it. They don’t know/care that it doesn’t feel anything like a protein shake in our dimension. It doesn’t have the graininess, or the viscosity that we have come ot expect from our protein shakes. It’s as if milk came from a cow they added some vanilla and a bit of sugar and they have their meal replacement. Things are simpler in organic world and they just might be for the best.

Website
http://www.organicvalley.coop/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Unrefined Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 21st, 2015
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Organic Valley Balance, Vanilla Bean, 11 Ounce (Pack of 4)

Root 9 Vitality Drink Panex Red

Root 9 Vitality Drink Panex Red

Oh, panex red, my favorite of the flavors. But seriously folks, what the heck is this? I don't know what flavor this is. It's made with Korean Red Ginseng. Cool. What does that mean? Is that raspberry? Who knows? You know what else? Who cares? This is actually really good. Oh, it’s just the type of ginseng used, and not an added flavor? Well, that makes sense then.

This doesn't have the bitterness that one might expect in a ginseng drink. Check. It makes you not care that you may not know what you're drinking. Look, I don't think that they're trying to poison me. Like everything else you cram down your gullet, there are ingredients in there but they're half unreadable vitamins and minerals. The other half is all natural ingredients that are in everything. I guess that Korean Red Ginseng just naturally tastes good and we shouldn't care. Add a little carbonation and you've got something nice. If it tastes good, drink it. That's what I've literally never said before one time in my life.

Website
http://www.root9ginseng.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 18th, 2015
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6 Pack - Root9 Vitality Drink - 12oz.

Lotus Botanical Elixers Balance Mind & Body Raspberry Infused

Lotus Botanical Elixers Balance Mind & Body Raspberry Infused

I have never been to a spa. I feel like the intended relaxation would fail and I would be left feeling anxious. You know, now that I think about it I really don’t know what exactly happens at a spa. I imagine massages are the norm, and that I’m okay with. It’s the facials, mud baths (do those exist outside of movies?), and things like that which leave me uncomfortable. I feel like my version of relaxation is very different from the bulk of society. I don’t even truly know what my relaxation is, but it’s not just awkwardly sitting somewhere with goop on me, constantly wondering how much time I have left. Wow, I sound like turd dude there, but honestly is everything…..right?

Why am I talking about spas? Well, to me this drink tastes like what I imagine you would be served at such a establishment. Now I doubt spas serve anything carbonated, and probably just give everyone cucumber infused water or something along those lines, but to me this is the taste of self-indulgence and relaxation. Actually it tastes like someone overly infused some water with raspberries and added a touch of sugar as well as a few botanicals. It’s light but still fruity, just the way I like it. It’s the taste of reflection, if you want to be arty about it. Even though it has natural caffeine in it it’s the type of beverage I can sip and relax and go over my life without having a freak out. This company is all about balance, and I have to say that it comes across in the way their beverages affect me. It makes me want to sip on a can and then walk through a portion of the woods where I am sure to not encounter another human and just take it all in.

I’d like to stress that this is not a relaxation drink in the way Marley’s Mellow Moods are. It’s not going to put you to sleep. It’s simply going to let you settle and reflect. You know what if this was involved with a spa maybe I would put up with people touching my face (which I hate). At least the anxiety would be turned down to a minimum.

Website
http://www.lotuselixirs.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Relaxation, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 17th, 2015
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Lotus Botanical Elixirs, Pink Lotus Elixir, Raspberry Infused, 12 Fluid Ounce (Pack of 12)

Coco Libre Protein Coconut Water Vanilla

Coco Libre Protein Coconut Water Vanilla

Ladies and Gentleman, I have an invention that will revolutionize the beverage world. I call it the De-Gritifyer. No longer will the world be plagued by protein drinks that have that weird sandy texture to them. With my invention it will be nothing but smooth sailing, and yes all puns intended.

Why no sir I am not living in the 90s. Why would you ask such a thing? Wait, what do you mean that there have been smooth protein drinks on the market for years. That simply cannot be true. Fine I will try your beverage even though I saw you drink directly from the carton and you clearly have a cold. You know that is disgusting, right? Damnit! This is smooth! However did they achieve this before I could? I’ve spent the last decade in a lab working on the perfect formula. What did they use? Coconut water, milk protein concentrate and acacia gum? I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. On top of everything it also tastes delicious. The vanilla is great and it overpowers the erythritol and stevia. This is far superior to every protein drink I ever tasted when I started my work.

This is devastating to me. I wasted ten years of my life to create a product that is inferior to this. It looks like I should just go back to my old job as a dog groomer. Do any of you have a pooch that needs tending?

Website
http://www.cocolibreorganic.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 14th, 2015
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Coco Libre - Protein Coconut Water Natural Vanilla Flavor - 11 oz.

Root 9 Vitality Drink Panax Gold

Root 9 Vitality Drink Panax Gold

While I have inexplicably grown to enjoy the taste of Red Bull and its chemical tasting copycats, I always get a twinge of excitement when I come across energy drinks, especially when they actually work. You see a lot of the natural energy drinks on the market give you about as much energy as a cup or two of coffee. If that’s what you’re looking for then by all means indulge, but I personally don’t partake in energy drinks unless I “need” one to help me stay up. I don’t need a daily dose of caffeine to get me moving in the morning. A bowl of cereal works just fine. What Root9 did to my body, was much greater than what coffee does. It didn’t make me feel insane and jittery, it just made me feel like I could keep going when I had a lot of work to do.

The source of energy in this beverage comes from green tea extract, but more importantly from the red ginseng that they use. I have been informed that red ginseng is more effective than what most people are used to. Also the roots that they use in their beverages is grown for six years for optimal potency, they also then allow the soil used to grow it to rest for 10 years to work up the proper nutrients. That is a long process, but as far as I can see it is worth it. I got one hell of a boost from this drink and it lasted a decent amount of time, without feeling like garbage at any point during the ride it took me on.

The other side of this drink is its health aspects. The Panax ginseng they use is also known as a “cure all”. In fact the beverage was created to help one of the creator’s fathers who suffered from diabetes. I’m not sure that it actually helps treat diabetes in any way, but it does keep blood sugar in check when drunk instead of other energy drinks.

I just realized that I have gone this far and not talked about the taste at all. The Panax gold flavor is basically a carbonated citrus green tea. It’s a flavor that I can get behind. It is sweetened with erythritol and stevia, so it has some of that flavor, but if you drink it while it’s really cold their taste isn’t too bad. In one of the testimonials someone said that this was supposed to mango flavored, but the can says nothing about that. I can taste it a bit, but it could be just because I’m looking for it. Either way it has a pleasant taste that I would drink again and again.

Website
http://www.root9ginseng.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 12th, 2015
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Powerade ION4 Melon

Powerade ION4 Melon

I was had. I am in Florida, Cape Canaveral to be exact. No, I am not here to see space stuff. NASA stuff would be cool and it's actually pretty close but I'm here for a cruise. An exotic cruise to the Bahamas. Part of me thought that the Bahamas was a place that only rich people went to. Since I'm able to go, it couldn't be further than the truth. So, back to why I was had.

It's night time. I am in a hotel the night before the cruise. I need to look around for drinks when I am away from home. There isn't much to pick from around here and I do not know the area. There was a gas station a quarter of a mile away and a 7-Eleven a half mile away. I made the poor decision of taking the shorter route. I'm overreacting, of course, but there was nothing here. I chose a melon Powerade because Florida. We had done sour melon so I thought; I'll do the regular variety. I am pretty sure that the execs at Coke said, "You know what, Johnny? We're not selling anything to those weaklings as "sour melon" so let's drop the "sour" part of the name and keep selling the same thing." This is sour and tasted like the melon did. I'm going to call it a different review because in the case that it is different, you now know what the non-sour one tastes like. In short, this tastes like sour...I don't know...honeydew? I don't know what melon it actually is. Picking from watermelon, honeydew and cantaloupe it is closest to some sort of man-made honeydew. It’s that mixed with the same thing that makes sour apple Jolly Ranchers sour and you've got it.

Florida. You're mostly fine. Don't try to pull one over on me. You're fine.

Website
http://www.powerade.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 10th, 2015
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Powerade Melon - 2 Pack of 32 Fl. Oz. Bottles - Sports Drink

Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus Vanilla Bean

Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus Vanilla Bean

Due to a label that reads “New & Improved” and a flavor name that is similar enough to “Perfectly Protein Vanilla Chai Tea” I was pretty sure this was just a rebranding of one of their classic flavors. I mean even the image on the front is very similar.

The sad truth is that this is not the case. While the Vanilla Chai Tea flavor had a wonderful borderline soynog taste to it, this is more along the lines of a traditional protein drink. It has a very strong vanilla flavor, which is nice, but it also has a perhaps even heavier dairy flavor that I could do without. It’s also very thick in a weird kind of way. It makes me think that I’m drinking something I shouldn’t be for the sake of healing muscles, you know like when people eat raw eggs. This may not be as gross as that, but it’s still a weird drink, especially for someone who doesn’t consume much dairy.

Another weird note about this is that there are 40g of sugar in this bottle (mostly from cane sugar). That just seems counterintuitive for a protein drink to me.

I really hope they haven’t discontinued the flavor I thought this was, because now that I think about it I don’t think I’ve come across it in a while. That was one delicious flavor, and this just seems like a functional beverage that you would drink out of necessity and not out of want.

Website
http://bolthouse.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 8th, 2015
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Aquafina Flavorsplash Sparkling Peelin' Good

Aquafina Flavorsplash Sparkling Peelin' Good

I honestly thought that I was coming around to diet drinks. I thought that I had become somewhat immune to the artificial/zero calorie gang; you know the guys who wear bandanas over their faces when they rob you of the flavor of a beverage. A lot of the time it doesn’t bother me anymore. Perhaps it’s like the bully who steals the same kids lunch money every day; at a certain point that kids body is just no longer going to expect lunch and learn to deal with the hunger. In this drink the sucralose is strong. It’s strong enough to take away from the Tang-esque orange flavor that is obscured by it.

It’s not completely overpowering and there is a definite faker orange flavor in here. I also give diet drinks a little bit of leeway because there are a ton of people out there who love them, and I can’t disparage an entire genre of beverages when there is a learning curve. If you don’t mind the diet flavor, this is a zero calorie beverage that is probably right up your alley. Me I’m gonna get a badge and hunt down that group of taste thieves.

Website
http://www.aquafina.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2014
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