Sports/Dietary Supplement (173 reviews)
Gatorade Perform 02 Rain Berry
Somewhere in the sands of the Sahara there is a paradise-esque oasis. It is only 30ft x 30ft, but that 900 square foot patch is considered by many to be heaven. It is extremely treacherous to journey to the area that locals call Gondelavisti, but it is said that anyone who completes the journey never returns the same person. It is in this are that the ever-elusive rain berry grows. A common misconception is that the rain berry grows in tropical rainforests. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is the rain berry is what causes the desert. The plant sucks up all of the moisture from the ground leaving everything for miles around cracked and dusty. Honestly without the rain berry deserts would not exist on this world. Luckily it is not an invasive plant of Earth would be the opposite of Water World.
The other side of this coin is that a single berry contains so much water and electrolytes that it could quench the thirst of an entire village that has withstood a 20-year drought. It seems that Gatorade has made its way to Gondelavisti and returned with a supply of rain berries, which they have used in their line of sports drinks. It is very light and absolutely refreshing. The rain berry tastes like a mix between grapes and strawberries. I appreciate that it isn't as syrupy as the original Gatorade line. I've heard that they only use one rain berry for every ten batches of this stuff that they make. That's how insane those berries actually are.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/24/2011
Glaceau Vitamin Water Stur-D
I just realized that I have not had a Vitamin Water since we started this site. That seems insane because there was a long stretch of my life where I got them for free so I drank at least one a day. Since this incarnation of Thirsty Dudes ten months ago I just figured there were other, weirder, drinks that needed my attention. When I was in a gas station and I wanted something that wasn't carbonated I went with a new flavor of an old standby.
As soon as I opened it I remembered how much I actually enjoy Vitamin Water. Glaceau took the traditional sports drink and upped the ante. They add extra vitamins and minerals to make their drinks more functional, but at the same time they take extra care to make sure that all of their products have a strong pleasant flavor. The only thing that could really make these better would be if they actually used the juice from the fruits listed in the flavors. I guess this would fall under a different category if they did though, and it might lose its functionality.
This particular bottle is supposed to be blue agave, passion fruit and citrus flavored. The individual flavors don't stand out at all, but it does taste like a hodgepodge of the flavors combined into something new. Maybe it's just passion fruit and citrus. I've never had straight up agave before, but I've had it as a sweetener and I don't really remember it having a distinct taste. Overall it taste rather great. I would definitely pick this over a Gatorade any day. I don't think I will be waiting nearly as long before I pick up another bottle of this.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/23/2011
Body Armor Super Drink Cranberry Citrus
Yesterday I went on a boat. I am not good at boats. I took some Dramamine in hopes that it would eliminate my sickness but the seas were rough that day, my friend. Up and down and up and down. I tried that trick where you look at the horizon but it was to no avail. I was feeling ill and no amount of worthless medicine could help. If anything, the Dramamine made me nothing but tired and antisocial. In retrospect, I would have rather not taken the medicine, thrown up, and been done with it. Atop of that, we decided to bring Max, my ever pleasant/jerk son who decided to cry half the time.
Here we are, post boat, and I feel awful. My head is spinning and I can't do anything about it, but I hate taking medicine and refuse. I really don't know why I took that Dramamine. I need something to fix me. I reached for some Body Armor in hope that it can truly "prevent and protect" me from any further feelings of disgust.
I was surprised to see that coconut worked his pasty white face into this drink. I couldn't taste him (gross) but he was in the mix. There are also a handful of vitamins and minerals to keep you "right" but I didn't get a lot of either cranberry or citrus. Maybe a little of each, but not enough to really call it "Cranberry Citrus". Had they just called "Prevent + Protect" that would have been different because I wouldn't go in expecting anything.
The taste isn't bad but you know that there is something in there that is good for you because the flavor isn't that of a juice. Maybe that's coconut man rearing his head, blending with tasty things and mixing them all up. It a bold, fruity flavor but don't expect a juice because you couldn't be more wrong.
My headache is still here and this drink didn't do anything except quench my thirst. You know what cures headaches? Sleep. You know what doesn't cure headaches? Blaring SikTh's "Death of a Dead Day", which is what I'm doing now.
- Website
- http://drinkbodyarmor.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Coconut, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/18/2011
Celsius Sparkling Orange
A couple of friends and I were planning on riding to Niagara Falls on our bikes today. It was close to, if not over, 90 degrees out but we figured we'd be riding next to the river the whole time, so it should be cooler. It was, but it was still pretty hot. Before we left I downed this can of Celsius. I definitely enjoy their sparkling drinks over their teas. They both taste so overly diet (they are weight loss drinks what so I don't expect otherwise) but the bubbles mask it a bit. This tasted like a really cheap diet orange soda that you would find at Aldi or some such discount grocery store. It wasn't the greatest, but for what it is and what it does I can't really expect a gem. I definitely felt an energy burst from it, and I will assume it helped burn calories. So I downed the can pretty fast, let out a humungous burp and hit the pedals.
We made it about halfway through Wheatfield when we decided to stop at a gas station and refill our water bottles. We were sitting outside sipping on some crisp cold water when suddenly my front tire let out all its air. It was loud and it was fast. The bike was laying on the ground for about ten minutes without being touched for ten minutes before it happened. I blame the sun. I really think it got to hot and burst. Stupid sun, you're just fighting dirty because I put on SPF 85 sunscreen!
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Elixir, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/17/2011
Body Armor Super Drink Raspberry Blueberry Goji
Dude Mikey you’re totally getting slaughtered in your D&D campaign. Every hit you take is nearly killing you. You really need to step up your defense. That elf just slapped you and it took away half of your remaining hit points. That is no way to live my friend. You should probably down this Body Armor drink. It says right on the bottle that it’s made to “prevent and protect.” I imagine that it will turn your game right around and you can crush that backhanding elf. What do you mean that’s not the way the game works? This stuff is chock full of ingredients that will protect you. There’s even a little chart on the label that tells you what’s in it to help you recover and it also will keep you hydrated because of the coconut water and various other things it contains. I mean sure the goji berry overpowers any other flavor that is supposed to be contained within and makes you think that oxidants are running away in fear, but isn’t that what you wanted; to be safe and to recover? What do you mean that you appreciate the drink, but that’s not how the game works? What are you talking about dice for? Wait, you have to roll dice to decide on your levels. Well that just seems boring. I just wanted to deal with some sweet dragons. Apparently that’s never going to happen here because you’re now deceased due to a slight breeze. Learn to roll your dice better next time.
- Website
- http://drinkbodyarmor.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Coconut, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/13/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Rejuvenizer Green Tea Cranberry
When a man is broken down the only thing to do is to load his vital stats into a computer and have it create an 80's like line diagram of his body. That way you can use science to fix him, to make him better. After everything is loaded in the best way to proceed is to pour a bottle of this beverage into your disc drive. It will take care of the rest. Sticky circuit boards are what it takes to cure a man.
This is rather odd. I don't know whether to call it a soda or a tea. I guess it is both, but I feel like one should have dominance. It is green tea extract added to carbonated water and the only sweeteners in it are the ones that come from fruit juice. That's something I can appreciate. They could have stopped there and had a decent drink, but that's not going to rebuild a man. In their wisdom they added kola nut, guarana, taurine, damiana, ginseng, ginko biloba, suma, gotu kola, echinacea, capsicum, dandelion root, kombucha and others. As a result I think this technically becomes an energy drink instead of a recovery beverage. Who knows, maybe they were able to complete the hybrid of the two with their sticky circuit boards.
Flavor-wise this is fairly similar to any carbonated green tea I've had. It has an accurate cranberry taste to it. There was a slight strange aftertaste and it wasn't until after I read the ingredients that I realized it was sarsaparilla. Why that is in there I will never know.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/12/2011
Arizona Sports Fruit Punch
What to say? What to say? You know what I could say, but I don't want to say it. How can I say this positively...it tastes good? There is no doubt about that. It one-ups Gatorade because it uses real sugar. Hey, remember when people spread the rumors that drinking Gatorade puts holes in your teeth? I guess, in theory, it's correct because cavities are just holes, but I think that my mom still thinks that drinking enough Gatorade will make your teeth look like Swiss cheese. Anyhow, I'll just say it.
This tastes like Gatorade. It's to be expected. The flavor is good, it's quenching, and it's in a large enough bottle that you can drink it for a couple days, or if your irresponsible, one day.
Have you or a loved one been drinking Gatorade for years and want a change? Here you go. It’s all-natural, just as quenching, and a name that you're already familiar with? Good deals.
- Website
- http://drinkarizona.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/10/2011
Gatorade Perform 02 Watermelon Citrus
Dear companies that produce watermelon flavored drinks,
I wholeheartedly believe that most of you have never tasted the juice of a watermelon. In fact I'd wager that 50% of you have never even been in the same room as the mighty fruit. I believe this because you're drinks taste nothing like actual watermelon. It's like sometime in the 90's Jolly Rancher came up with a flavor of candy that they decided to call watermelon and every drink company since then has assumed that is what watermelon tastes like out in the wild. Yes the wild. Apparently you also didn't know that watermelons only grow in the most distant valleys of the rainforest, protected by an army of deadly half snake half woman. Yes there are three halves. They are that dangerous.
Please take note and order yourself an actual watermelon for your scientists to mimic. I mean this is perfectly fine, but it tastes like candy, not like a fruit and I really, really wanted this to taste like the fruit.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/6/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Arizona Sports Orange
Arizona has run the inexpensive iced tea game for years. You can pretty much walk into any gas station/corner store and they will have a cooler filled with Arizona tall boys. It’s hard to go wrong with paying so little for so much of a more than decent beverage. Now, like the Romans before them, Arizona is expanding their empire. They dabbled with energy drinks and now they have moved on to sports drinks and they are taking that scene by storm.
On first look I had such low expectations for this drink. It comes in the traditional 34oz Gatorade-esque bottle, and the label design is fairly terrible. I understand it’s the company’s logo but nothing about the southwest screams hydration to me. Someone should probably get fired for this. Davis, we understand you’ve been with the company for 10 years now, and we appreciate all the hard work you’re put into the job. The think is the label you did for the sports drink looks a bit childish. On top of that it makes people think about the desert. Davis, as we all know there is no hope in the desert. People are going to think that it’s a crapshoot when they open their bottle. Will it be a thirst quenching electrolyte replenishing tasty beverage, or will they get a mouthful of sand and armadillo poop. Do you really want our customers concerned with ‘dilla poop Davis? I certainly do not! We’re knocking you back down to taste tester. Due to current laws we can’t lower your rate of pay, so you’ll be making the same. Why do you look so happy Davis? You just got demoted. I don’t care if you are my wife’s brother I can’t believe I let her talk me into hiring you. Imagine a world where people are happy to be demoted. Sure you’re doing basically no work and getting paid an obscene amount of money to drink our products day in and out, but what about your lost status? Okay so now that you’re officially a taste tester what do you think about the drink you did the inappropriate artwork for? It tastes crisp and clean? Well of course it does! We’ve already covered the fact that there is no armadillo excrement in it! You say it’s way superior to Gatorade and it’s counterparts because it’s all natural and not all syrupy? Now you better not be saying that to get your old job back. We don’t let just anyone work 65 hours a week on salary around here!
- Website
- http://drinkarizona.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/29/2011
Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero Squeezed
I'm drinking this bottle at a historic moment. As I am writing this, the New York State senate just passed the bill to make same sex marriage legal in New York. I didn't time this, it just kind of happened as I was starting this review. Pretty awesome if you ask me!
I must say, it's a good fit. This flavor of Vitamin Water is awesome! I was expecting it to be watered down, but it has a lot of flavor to it. It has a good lemon taste that is just tart enough to make me smile. This may be my new favorite flavor of Vitamin Water. It’s a big surprise. Much like this bill passing.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Rebiana
- Categories
- Diet, Lemonade, Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/24/2011
