Sports/Dietary Supplement (537 reviews)

Hair King Pomegranate

Hair King Pomegranate

This just may be the oddest drink we’ve ever reviewed, at least the oddest “functional” beverage. This is a 3.38oz bottle of a beverage whose sole purpose is to promote hair health care. According to their website this beverage is supposed to help with the reduction of greying and thinning hair. They tell of the science behind this through the use of broken English on their page. I personally do not suffer from thinning hair nor am I going grey, so I can’t attest to whether it works or not, but who am I to argue with science.

What I can report is on taste and I am happy to tell you that it is not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Like with most shot beverages I expected it to taste like runoff from a nuclear plant, luckily it just tastes like some weird cranberry juice. It definitely has a cranberry base, but it’s not overly tart and there is something else that that I can’t pin down. It reminds me of something I had in my childhood, but I can’t remember what, which is vaguely infuriating. It could just be the sucralose making it weird, but not completely diet tasting. I want to say it tastes like something I won at a pizza place/arcade like Major Magics or Chuck E Cheese, because those sorts of places keep popping in my mind. Perhaps Charles Cheese used to down these things. He always did have a nice coat of fur on him.

As a side note there is a weird notation on the bottle that says, “Hair King Drink does not prevent intoxication.” I would really like to know the circumstances that led them to including that little message.

Website
http://hairkingdrink.com/
Country
Korea
Sweetener
Corn Syrup
Categories
Other/Weird, Shot, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 25th, 2014
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truBrain Think Drink Morning

truBrain Think Drink Morning

Folks, I think it’s finally happened. We were sent samples in the mail and it must have been a company we gave a bad review to in the past getting back to us, because I’m 99.9% sure that what I drank was poison. If I get to the end of this review without blood leaving from every orifice in my head it will be a miracle.

This little pouch that apparently contains my undoing was developed to be a cognitive enhancer, meaning that it’s meant to be a study aid. Tons of students down energy drink after energy drink in order to stay up and study. Unfortunately all of the junks in the typical beverages give you the jitters and make it harder to concentrate. TruBrain was created to help with concentration and to get the best bang for your buck when it comes to brain use. I personally plan on doing some research in the stock market, because I want to pretend I’m a real human adult that is if this truly is a “think drink” and not just poison all gussied up for the party.

Seriously people this did not taste like anything you should consume. If I didn’t know better I would have sworn there should have been a Mr Yuck sticker on this and I should have found it under the kitchen sink. I don’t even know what flavor it’s supposed to be. Perhaps they were going for the diet poison route because that’s what I’m getting here.

It’s been about 15 minutes since I drank this and I appear to still be alive with no negative effects, so I’m going to wager that truBrain is not just a shell corporation for Young Energy Source getting back at us for the having the audacity to think that their beverage is the worst thing we’ve ever tasted on this planet. I still think this is a horrible tasting “beverage” but I do feel a sense of clarity, so it works for its function, and since when do those drinks ever taste good?

Website
http://trubrain.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Stevia
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Shot, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 22nd, 2014
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Mercy Restore Ginger Lemongrass

Mercy Restore Ginger Lemongrass

This…smells…weird. It’s like unbaked bread and vitamins had a baby that a liquid. Sometimes working your way past a smell can lead to great enjoyment for your other senses though. I woke up this moment feeling like doo-doo for some unknown reason. I was just worn out and achy. One would think I had a hangover, but that certainly wasn’t the case. I did some things around the house and still felt like garbage, so I decided to take a nap. Of course it was this time that my sleep paralysis decided to come out for the first time in months (For those of you who don’t know it’s when you’re sleep rhythms mess up and you get stuck between slumber and waking. You are aware of our surroundings and know that you’re asleep, but can’t move or fully wake up. It’s the worst). When I finally convinced my brain to wake up 100% I felt even worse. I was just in a haze. That’s when I remembered this was in the fridge. I started drinking it and within 10 minutes I was feeling noticeably better. Not only was my predicament improving but I was also really enjoying the taste, minus the weird smell.

This is carbonated lemonade, if lemonade has made with lemongrass as well as regular old lemons. Now I don’t know if there is actually any lemon juice in here, but it certainly tastes like it is. There is also a nice ginger flavor to it, but without any hint of a burn. Around the edges there is some hints of the vitamins and other such things that help with recovery, but they are mainly just hanging around in the background. One thing I need to point out is that this is ridiculously carbonated. If you’re entering into a belching competition, it would be wise to slam a can of this right before you go on. Then you’ll be burping like an angel. Seriously though, look past the strange scent of this beverage and you may find yourself with a new little friend.

Website
http://www.drinkmercy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Ginger, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 21st, 2014
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Mercy Restore, Ginger Lemongrass Flavor, 8.4oz (4 Pack)

Go Body Hydrating Protein Drink Berry Pomegranate

Go Body Hydrating Protein Drink Berry Pomegranate

Hey Jason, remember when you started Thirsty Dudes and you were kind of a lazy slob? Your diet mainly consisted of veggie dogs/sausage wrapped in tortilla shells and you are stale Oreos constantly. Seriosuly dude, remember the ridiculous amounts of Twizzlers you would consume, and the dumb amounts of pop you drank? I know you were younger and had a better metabolism, but seriously what were you thinking? Oh yeah and remember when companies would send you protein drinks and you would just drink them whenever?

Four years isn’t really a long time in the grand scheme of things, but a lot has gone on in that time. Look at how much your diet has improved. You’ve lost weight and you feel a lot better, don’t you? On top of all of that you get excited when protein drinks show up, because you now use them for their intended purpose; drinking after a workout. That’s right man, you of all people started going to the gym, and you stuck with it. I never thought you would.

Oh look, there’s a package of protein drinks waiting in the mail for you. Oh wow, they aren’t chocolate or vanilla flavored. It’s nice to have variety. Cool, this has coconut water in it as well as protein to help you rehydrate after a workout. On top of that it actually tastes like a mixture of berries and pomegranate. It tastes like a decent juice that is a little thicker (without being chalky) due to the protein. Sure it tastes a tad diet because of the erythritol, but it’s not too noticeable. Overall go Body did a great job with this. You wouldn’t have felt weird drinking this four years ago, just sitting around your apartment reading. Oh wait you’re actually going to read now after your work out, you never change do you? Seriously though, you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself, now if you can just stop writing yourself letters in the form of drink reviews the world will be a better place.

Website
http://gobody.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Coconut, Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 10th, 2014
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Nawgan Alertness Beverage Lemonade

Nawgan Alertness Beverage Lemonade

Listen, Diet Pepsi is no longer your only option for "great tasting" drinks which clock in at zero calories. Now there are two options, the second of which is Crystal Light. That's right. All your favorite lemonades are now zero calories which will get you looking great and feeling great. Now you can drink until your heart is content because at zero calories, the only think you are going to have to worry about is the copious amount of trips to the bathroom. Oh, and spilling drinks. It's a matter of ratio. You can't drink forever and not spill something. That's why at kid’s parties there is always one person that spills a drink. It's just their time.

How does Crystal Light taste? It tastes like non-offensive, non-threatening, entry-level lemonade. Chunkless, pulpless and lightly tart lemonade. Perfect for those hot summer days but nothing that is going to win you any awards.

Wait, I'm sorry. This just in, I'm not reviewing Crystal Light. I'm reviewing Crystal Light. I'm reviewing Nawgan's Lemonade. Welp. Could have fooled me.

Website
http://www.nawgan.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Lemonade, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 8th, 2014
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Nawgan Lemonade, 11.5 Ounce (Pack of 12)

Hair King Lemon Lime

Hair King Lemon Lime

Why am I drinking this? I have fine hair? How do I have such wonderful hair? Well for one, I hardly ever wash it. Call it gross but look at my hair. It's just fine. It's never thirsty and doesn't have any product in it ever. I am drinking this to review and if it gives me even better hair I shall pass the benefits off to you so that we all may have glorious locks day in and day out.

What do I think of how it tastes, though? Well let's see. With every sip I feel like I'm drinking something I shouldn't be. Sure, it's lemon lime but you can get lemon lime Pledge and that's not edible at all. This is right on the cusp of being called "syrupy" so to have it have a strange viscosity and taste a bit like a mix between a kids lemon lime Huggy and a floor cleaner, that's a dangerous place. A dangerous place much like lying in bed with me with the fear of getting your hands caught in my impending more glorious “do”.

Website
http://hairkingdrink.com/
Country
Korea
Sweetener
Corn Syrup
Categories
Other/Weird, Shot, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 3rd, 2014
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Fuze Slenderize Cranberry Raspberry

Fuze Slenderize Cranberry Raspberry

Without fail, low calorie aka diet drinks always sit in my “to-drink” pile the longest. By pile I mean three cupboards and a drawer in the fridge, but it’s much more entertaining to think of is as a giant pile of drinks next to my desk with bottle precariously placed, so that everyone is in constant fear of it crushing me to death. People would probably insist that I start wearing a Medic Alert bracelet. Alas, I am far too organized and they are in cupboards, organized by drink type.

This has been sitting around for probably 8-9 months now. It’s just been hanging around like an old ghost trying to frighten me into drinking it. Finally I gave into the fear and today was the day of ingestion. It’s not as bad as I had anticipated. The use of actual juice in here probably helps. This is supposed to be a cranberry and raspberry juice, but it also contains apple, black carrot, black currants and a whole mess of vitamins. The result is a fruity beverage that tastes vaguely like berries, that also has a bit of a cranberry dryness to it, but doesn’t really taste like the suggested flavors. There’s some sucralose in there, but it’s not bad enough to ruin the drink. It’s also borderline creamy, which is odd. I mean it’s not like there is milk in it or anything, but it has that certain smoothness to it. For a company that makes mediocre teas, it’s no wonder that they also make mediocre juice/vitamin drinks.

Website
http://www.drinkfuze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 30th, 2014
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Fuze Slenderize Cranberry Raspberry, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Dose Basic Line Vitamin C (Lemon Lime)

Dose Basic Line Vitamin C (Lemon Lime)

Every time I’m in Boston (Allston to be exact) with my band random people always come up to me saying, “Doses? Doses?” We know that they are trying to sell us pills (up until it was explained to me I thought acid was the only thing referred to as a dose) but we always joke that they are trying to sell us the Indian Food aka dosas. Imagine walking down a city street and a sketchy dude comes up to you whispering “Dosas? Dosas?” you follow him into an alley, where he opens up his coat and hands you a nice Indian crepe. That’s sketch comedy for you folks. Well, sketch comedy that a very select group of people would think is funny.

What if we turn this into a marketing strategy for these Dose dietary supplements? They get employees to go into the city and whisper “Doses? Doses?” to people and then hand them sample cans. It would frighten, confuse, and dare I say disappoint people. That is until they took a taste, then they might be hooked and want more.

It’s no secret that I am not a fan of the lemon lime flavor. I find it boring, and low brow to an extent. This is something different though. It is made with actual juices from those fruits, and it is fairly tart, almost to a pinched cheeks level. One could call this a lemon-lime-ade and one would not be wrong. It’s way tastier than I had anticipated. Sure you can tell that there is something else going on under the surface flavors, but that’s just the vitamins and they are the whole reason for drinking this. Who wants to be bothered taking a pill vitamin when you can just slug back one of these cans that actually taste decent and not like clay? No one, that is who. So, next time someone approaches you on the street to make a purchase inquire if they are selling drugs, crepes or liquid vitamins. Then decide which would suit your needs the best.

Website
http://dosebeverage.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Sugar
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 20th, 2014
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Rage Boost Hydrating Citrus

Rage Boost Hydrating Citrus

Dude, I’m so pumped that someone decided to throw this Rave Class Reunion. Man the 90’s we’re a crazy time and I really missed this. Remember when we used to have to go to random convenient stores with an egg to find out the secret location of the party? Oh that was an episode of 90210? Seemed like real life man. Well remember that time you needed to come up with money quick, or you’d be evicted from your apartment so we sold common aspirin and pretended it was E? Oh, that was the movine Go!? Okay dude you caught me; I’ve never been to a rave before in my life. I was too young and scared when they were still cool. I was totally into the music though. I would jam Paul Oakenfold and 808 State in my bedroom so loud my mom would yell at me. I would get hog wild.

I’m just glad this party is happening so that I get to experience it firsthand, well kind of if a couple decades too late count. Since we’re going to be raging hard all night dancing until our arms are sore from flinging around glow sticks like maniacs, I brought these drinks for us. They are called Rage, get it…because we’re going to be raging at the party…not rage mad, but like party rage. Whatever, even if you don’t get it they will help keep us hydrated. It’s a vitamin enhanced water with a whole mess of electrolytes in it. The bottle says it will allow us to push harder and avoid hitting the wall. That sounds like exactly what we’re gonna need. They sweetened it with sucralose as well as cane sugar, so you get a little diet taste, but it’s not too bad. I just wanted to warn you, as I know that junk can come as a shock if you don’t know it’s there. I don’t want to harsh your good time.

This stuff actually tastes pretty decent. It’s like a Vitamin Water that tastes more like one of the citrus varieties of Gatorade. It certainly has that slight harshness on the back of your throat like Gatorade does. It’s like a mellower melted Freezee Pop. It’s citrus flavored, that tastes like someone took some Tang and slightly changed it to be more…I dunno…other citrus instead of orange. You know what I mean man. It’s nothing particularly new, but it tastes pleasant enough, and if it keeps us hydrated tonight that’s all that matters. I unfortunately don’t know if I’ll be able to find this again. I mean it’s not bad, but it’s not filling any sort of gap in the beverage world. There are a whole mess of different companies putting out drinks like this, and most consumers would rather grab a brand name like the previously mentioned Vitamin Water or Gatorade, and these small guys don’t’ stand a chance, even if they perform better. Whoa, where did all of that come from? Must be the pills I took. Speaking of, want to buy some ecstasy? Just kidding, it’s just aspirin, I get headaches from loud bass.

Website
http://ragevitaminwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 18th, 2014
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Marquis O3 Citrus

Marquis O3 Citrus

Steve, I need to make a change in my life. I need to calm down with the burgers and go organic. We have been eating like garbage for decades so we need a change. What've you got there? If it's organic, I'll slam it. That's going to be my new mantra going forward. I'll eat anything organic. That's healthy, right? I mean, it's organic.

What is this? Is this organic? You know my new rule. Is this grapefruit beer? Marquis? What's that? You're saying this isn't it? I'm looking at the ingredients and this isn't alcoholic but man it tastes like it is. It's a little bitter and tastes really diet. It certainly is "Citrus" but that's a bit of a vague flavor, don't you think?

You know what? You can have organic hamburgers, right? Alright, hand me one of those. Maybe I don't need to go so "cold turkey" on everything. I might go half junk food and half organic. That will naturally put me right in the middle, right? Cool. Give me that burger, dude.

Website
http://www.drinkmarquis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Erytritol
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 15th, 2014
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Marquis O3 Organic 0-calorie Energy Drink - Citrus Case of 12
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