Water (215 reviews)
Victoria's Kitchen Almond Water
The quantity of almonds I have consumed in my life is fairly astronomical. I went through a period where I ate 3-5 pounds a week. I feel like I shouldn’t be alive after that. It just seems like so many almonds. I t probably helps my state of living that I only ate raw unsalted ones. Now that I think of it, I probably could have doubled my intake and still been fine. I also have unsweetened almond milk on my cereal every morning. My point is, I know almonds. A lot of things that claim to be almond flavored don’t really taste like the nuts at all. I can assure you readers that Victoria’s Kitchen also knows almonds. As soon as you open this bottle it smells like almond concentrate. That was a bit frightening because I was afraid this might actually be as strong as almond extract, which would be absolute hell on ones taste buds. Before I took a sip I had decided that this was either going to taste like an extreme almond extract, or it was going to taste like watered down almond milk. Neither of those options particularly interested me, so luckily I was wrong. It tastes like you took a glass 99% full of water and mixed in that last 1% with almond extract, well we should probably lower those percents in the same ratio so this hypothetical mixture doesn’t spill out of the nonexistent glass. I like it. It tastes exactly like almonds, but the sugar in it is a bit of a turn off. It’s pretty sweet and it gives it a bit of a candied taste. As a result I couldn’t drink more than half the bottle in one sitting, but I was happy to go back to it later. I think Vicky and her kitchen staff could have gone with perhaps 1/3 of the sugar they used and I would have liked it a lot more, but hey I like my almonds really plain. Now go get a rag, we have to wipe up all this ghost almond drink you spilled all over your counter.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/8/2012
- Comments
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Sodastream MyWater Orange
Sometimes water needs a little boost. I'll say it. I drink a lot of water. Probably not enough, but when I'm home, I drink glass after glass. Back to the original issue at hand, sometimes water needs a boost. Carbonation is one thing but, for some reason, it makes it taste different. To me, that specific "different" is not good. "Soda water" as it is affectionately known is gross to me and won't travel down my gullet.
Oddly enough, if you just add a little natural orange flavor and it's a different animal. It still feels good for you because there is no sugar, doesn't taste like there is sugar in there, and doesn't taste too strong that they're trying to surprise you with secret ingredients. It's just like a carbonated water with an essence of orange. That's it. You have to carbonate it yourself and add the ingredients. You are like Jesus except instead of wine you are making carbonated, orange flavored water. Less impressive since you didn't magically perform any sort of rapid fermentation process, but impressive nonetheless.
- Website
- http://www.sodastreamusa.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/28/2012
- Comments
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Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero Rise
NASA has been having some trouble with their astronauts being little piggies. No lie those space commanders have become real porkers. Long gone are the days of the fit and cut astronauts from our youth. Instead they look more like your unemployed uncle on a good day. NASA decided something needed to be done. Not only is it bad for PR, but also the extra weight causes issues with the flights. They decided to launch a two tiered attack. The first thing they did was to start serving healthy vegan food in their cafeterias and on the flights (that is seriously not a lie, I just read about it today). Secondly, they decided that all of the sugar that “Major Tom” was injesting via Tang wasn’t helping at all. After half a century the relationship between the two companies was dissolved and our space scientists teamed up with Glaceau. Instead of the uber sugary Tang, astronauts now ingest a stevia sweetened alternative called Rise (get it, because they are rising to space). It really taste exactly like Tang with stevia instead of real sugar, but they do it well because they use less than 1% of the sweetener. It has a slight diet sting, but it’s mostly orange, and you can’t really ask for more than that. Now they just need to up the treadmill time. How are they supposed to find God (aka any array of Bowie characters) out there if they are too fat to get off the ground?
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/25/2012
- Comments
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Sobe Lifewater Blood Orange Mango
Mallory, a dedicated woman, was determined to acquire mangos. She loved eating them and what made them better is that there was a large competition to acquire them, as there were limited quantities and a lot of demand.
One day, merchants infiltrated the town Mallory lived in and kidnapped her and made her work in their orange orchard. When working one day, she found a tree of blood oranges on the fringe of the orchard. She then got put in jail while trying to escape during one of her shifts. She wouldn’t tell anyone where the blood orange tree was. When released, Mallory immediately ran back to the blood orange tree, harvested as many as she could and escaped to a nearby village where she wasn't in danger of being found.
Thirsty, Mallory juiced some of her precious blood oranges as well as her favorite fruit, mangos. She used a local Stevia plant to sweeten it, a trick she learned in prison. She took a giant sip of it and was ecstatic. She had escaped the kidnappers and made a delicious juice. It tasted like blood orange, followed by a little mango, and then closed out with the sweetness of the sweetener. She settled into the town as a juice maker really solidifying her brand with her initial drink.
She would never forget the terrors that she faced in her past but looks forward to a bright future of juicing.
- Website
- http://www.sobe.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/11/2012
- Comments
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H10O Vitamin Infused Water Tropical Energy
Women? I'm sorry. Not for me, but for what H10O thinks you deserve. The women's suffrage movement was apparently forgotten because you deserve better than this. All those signatures you got to earn the rights to vote are for naught. All of the time you spent hand-drawing signs in order to be able to not spend your days in the kitchen making pies and pot roast for your husband have been ignored. To H10O, you have been diluted to this, diet energy water drink that tastes like a tropical, diet mess.
Remember all those sucralose ridden drinks you've had in the past in hopes that you can have something flavorful and diet and flavorful at the same time but were delivered just a generic tropical diet drink. No actual noticeable fruits, just an amalgam of mixed-together flavors that were on the shelf labeled "topical." On the plus side, drinking this is advertised as good for you. It's good for your hair, skin, teeth, but isn't that what women's rights was all about? You, ladies, are more than just a pretty face. You're people. You're women. You're powerful authority figures that deserve equal treatment and equal pay. Nope. You are just girls that love things like Lip Smackers lip gloss, Teen Beat magazine, eye shadow, the color pink, Madonna, and hair spray. Enjoy your diet drinks, ladies. Drink this and you'll be sure to shed those pesky pounds and look great in that debutante dress.
- Website
- http://h10o.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/8/2012
- Comments
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Ayala Herbal Water Ginger Lemon Peel
I've been gone for a long time and what happened when I was gone? Nothing. I mean, a week isn't that long of a time but it's long enough in my head for something like a political re-election, groundbreaking ceremony for a new pizza and taco place, or an entire new line of drinks to come out. Jay and I went to the grocery store yesterday and discovered that wasn't true. Neither of the other two were true either, so we are nil for three. Even though no new lines were out, Jay did a fantastic job of collecting older stuff that we hadn't done. That is your answer to the next couple weeks of drinks that have been on shelves for years. They need to get done and we'll take care of them.
While at the store, I came across this little number, offered it to Jay, forgot Jay doesn't like lemon, and claimed it for myself. I went home after a scorching day of bike riding and zoo-ing and treated myself to the soothing tastes of lemon and ginger. Do you want to know what I got? Just that: lemons and ginger. There was no bite to the ginger, but I think that with herbal water like this, you don't want it. It's just the flavor of ginger but you do get a bit of lemon, more than you might get with lemon water, too. If you like both, you've got a great drink with no calories and just flavor. I'm a big fan of the entire Ayala stuff and this doesn't fall short. It's less dramatic than the clove and cinnamon one, but this one is for a different audience.
- Website
- http://www.herbalwater.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/6/2012
- Comments
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Fresh Healthy Stuff Energy Pomegranate Acai
Let me start off by saying that I don’t like reviewing mix drinks. When we started doing this site, I wanted it to be for ready to drink beverages only. I don’t like that there can be so many variables that can affect the taste of a mix drink. Mike started reviewing some, then we got sent a couple more, and here I am reviewing a drink mix. I know that just blew your collective minds.
I figured since this was just going into a specific sized bottle of water (160z) there really isn’t much that could go wrong. Well there was my first problem. The Powercap didn’t attach correctly to the top of my water bottle. It has one of those shorter caps that use less plastic, and it apparently didn’t leave enough room for the cap to latch on. I held it in place, pushed the thumb dispenser and when I was certain all of the powder had made it into the bottle I replaced the Powercap with the original cap and shook it up. Problem = overcome.
I like the idea of these caps, because you can easily bring them everywhere without having to carry around bulky bottles. My problem with them is that they are generally all 0 calories so the sweeteners they use are of the diet variety. This cap used stevia, which is the least offensive 0 calorie sweetener in my eyes. That doesn’t mean that I thoroughly enjoy the taste of it though. While the contents of the cap do give the drink a mild pomegranate/acai taste (more than I expected) the stevia aftertaste turns me off. It’s pretty strong and it overpowers the actual flavor the drink it supposed to have. My ladyfriend thinks that it tastes like medicine, but if you’re used to diet drinks, you probably wouldn’t mind it at all.
- Website
- http://freshhealthystuff.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Leaf Extract
- Categories
- Drink Mix/Concentrate, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/3/2012
- Comments
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Trader Joe's Radiant Water Tropical
Dude, I'm so glad I caught you. You'll never guess what happened last night. I was walking around, minding my own business when aliens abducted me. I know it sounds nutty but it really happened. It was kind of cliché, honestly. A UFO, round with a glass dome on top, flew over me, shined a light and I was sucked up into it. How did it feel? Um, it was just like it sounded, actually. Not painful, a little slower that I expected it to be, and just kind of like they turned down the gravity a bit.
So I'm in the spaceship and everything is chrome and white. There are aliens in there that started speaking a strange language to me and when they saw that I didn't understand, they just kind of switched over to English, but British English like in the movie Dreamcatcher. They said they were marketing some new drink and wanted someone "out of this world" to try it. I told them that it was a very lame line but I would help them anyways. Then they sat me down in an uncomfortable looking but incredibly comfortable chair and started pouring some drinks down my throat with a carafe that looked like it had been stolen from Denny's.
I've got to tell you, though. This drink, like their odd target demographic, was out of this world. It was somehow light but super flavorful and they said it was "tropical" but I've tasted a lot of fruit and a lot of "tropical" drinks and aside from a little lemon, everything else was indistinguishably fantastic. I mean it. I asked if I could take a carafe home but they said that this was a survey and all they could pay me was $20. I said that was fine, they beamed me down, and that was that.
I know you don't believe it but it's the truth. I gave them my mailing address and they said if it goes through the proper approved process and makes it to production, they would send me some. Here's hoping to that. I hope they ask me to do another survey.
- Website
- http://www.traderjoes.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/1/2012
- Comments
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Eldorado Vitamin Charged Natural Spring Water Sicilian Orange
Sherman is a young man who loves orange juice. He drinks it every morning without fail. When someone drinks the last of his orange juice, Sherman gets very depressed. It's more emotional than someone who drinks coffee every morning because that's almost like an addiction. Sherman legitimately loves orange juice.
One day, Sherman had some friends over and they drank all of Sherman's orange juice. They didn't do it on purpose, but it happened nonetheless. Sherman went upstairs and left his friends downstairs to play Halo. His mom noticed that he wasn't downstairs and knew what had happened when she saw the empty carton on the counter. She went upstairs and asked what was wrong, knowing full well what was wrong. He told her about how Charlie always drinks the rest of the orange juice and his mom retorted about how she didn't really like Charlie because he always poured orange juice like a slob and left the counter all sticky. Sherman's mom had brought him a gift, though. She had brought him a bottle of Eldorado Sicilian Orange spring water. He was very reluctant to drink it because it wasn't orange juice. She told him to trust her and he did so he drank it. He took a little sip and then followed it by a big sip followed by a chug. He took a giant gasp of air and when he caught his breath, he thanked his mom. This drink tasted like a good orange juice but maybe a bit more refreshing and less thick. No, orange juice isn't really thick, but this is definitely watered down but in a good way. He drank more and noticed that it was a different type of orange than he was used to and it was a nice change to his standard issue, Florida Orange Juice. He gave his mom a big hug and got ready to walk downstairs. Before he got to the door, his mom told him to get a bunch of headshots off Charlie for her. He smiled, told her he would, and went downstairs to accomplish his duty of pleasing his mom and irritating that jerk, Charlie.
- Website
- http://eldoradosprings.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/26/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Sobe Lifewater Pomegranate Cherry
If it was Sobe’s mission to take two of the most potent fruit juices this word has ever seen and use them to flavor water in a way that makes them not potent at all, well job well done. I actually don’t get much pomegranate out of this. It’s mostly just cherry and I’m okay with that. To be frank I’m getting pretty sick of our friend the pomegranate. He’s infiltrated far too much of the beverage world, and I could use a break from him. To get back on track, this like every Lifewater is just Sobe’s version of Vitamin Water and it’s completely apparent in the taste. Sure Sobe has been around longer, but their drinks didn’t use to be so “water based.” The only thing different between this and Vitamin Water is that this has taurine in it. I’m pretty sure no Vitamin Waters do. If I did a blind taste test I would guess this was a new flavor of Vitamin Water, which I suppose isn’t a bad thing. Billions of people, including myself, love their products and drink them all the time. Here’s to competition.
- Website
- http://www.sobe.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/25/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
