Water (254 reviews)

Hint Unsweetened Essence Water Strawberry Kiwi

Hint Unsweetened Essence Water Strawberry Kiwi

It's been a while since I've reviewed something by Hint. There is no reason. It's not like we went on an awkward date and then, when it was over, I shook her hand, thanked her for paying for both dinner and the movie, and then proceeded to ask her for bus fare. I just walked by them and didn't think twice. Look at my reviews. They're all pretty decent and that would warrant at least a thank you card.

Well, Hint, here is your thank you card. This drink is good and the flavors are pretty in your face. It really does taste like strawberry and kiwi. Having added no additional sugar or sweeteners, you have earned a gold star. Nothing beats a shiny, adhesive gold star. Ask and 3rd grader.

Website
http://www.drinkhint.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 15th, 2011
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Hint Premium Essence Water, Strawberry-Kiwi, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Bot Water Grape

Bot Water Grape

Dear Bot,

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for what I said earlier. Do you recall many years ago when I first had your berry flavored friend and I didn't like it? I was young. I don't know what I was thinking. Do you remember those ten days I had dreadlocks? Do you remember that time that I long-boarded down that hill, fell off my board, and fell head first down and scraped up my hands? Do you remember the time that Connor and I soaked a tennis ball in gas, lit it on fire, and then proceeded to play hockey in the cul-de-sac growing up? I was a very stupid kid. I did a lot of dumb stuff. This is just three of the gallons and gallons of things that I did that weren't so smart. Loving you was one those things.

I know Valentine's Day has come and gone and, once again, I have forgotten about you. I never claimed to be a good companion. I have said, "I love you, Lisa" to a girl called Sarah.

There are a lot of things that I've messed up in my life, and not drinking you for so long has been one of them. After drinking you today, I forgot that you're a borderline juice. You are light, flavorful, and actually quite good. I wish I had you on ice, rather than lukewarm, but all the same, you tasted great and will be a nice addition to my "flavored water" family. You always were just the right amount of sweet and just the right amount of fruit.

So, in closing it's not you, it's me. It always has been, and for that, I'm sorry.

Website
http://www.botbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 17th, 2011
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Bot Grape Fortified Water, 12-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Sparkling Ice Black Raspberry

Sparkling Ice Black Raspberry

I'm going to a friend's wedding this weekend. As a result I felt the need to step up my wardrobe a bit, so I took a trip to the mall. It was a rare case of shopping instead of people watching. It's a strange, strange place to be, believe you me. While going from store to store quickly growing more annoyed by the second, I suddenly noticed a fellow angered shopper drinking one of these. When I passed by the convenient store a few shops down I popped in and picked this up.

Like always I was quick to purchase before realizing it was a diet drink. I was okay with it because it didn't have an overly diet taste to it. The black raspberry taste is pretty strong and it overpowered the sucralose flavor. If I ever went on a diet I would definitely drink these on the regular. My mom drinks zero calorie flavored sparkling waters all of the time. I bet she would love these. I should probably be a good son and pick her up a couple the next time I'm at the mall watching people, drinking iced tea and eating terrible burritos.

Website
http://www.sparklingice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 21st, 2011
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Sparkling ICE Sparkling Ice Black Raspberry, 17-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Pitaya + Coconut Water

Pitaya + Coconut Water

Before I even opened this drink the packaging made me fall in love with it. It's so bright and vibrant in a very classy way. The shape of the bottle is also pretty great. I obviously would have preferred a glass bottle, but at least they had the decency to use recycled plastic.

For starters, Pitaya is another name for Dragon Fruit. I learned from the label that the flower of the Dragon Fruit only blooms at night. That's a pretty sweet little nugget of knowledge. I will admit that I was a bit skeptical of this drink because I'm not a fan of coconut water. Every other flavored coconut water I've had tasted like the flavoring fruit had curdled the coconut milk. Pitaya + does not taste like that at all. It reminds me of a juice box I used to drink when I was a kid. Which is strange because those "juice" boxes were filled with so much artificial junk that they were labeled "juice drink." This on the other hand is the picture of healthiness. It's made to keep your digestive system healthy and to cleanse your body of toxins. I strongly believe that they should manufacture these in juice box form for parents to buy their children. I bet the kids would never know the difference, and you would have to keep them away from those school lunches. No matter how delicious those mounds of mashed potatoes and turkey smothered in gravy are, there is no way they are ever remotely healthy for you.

On top of producing a very healthy drink that is also very tasty, Pitaya is also a socially conscious company. The fruit is harvested from farms in Central America where they only hire single mothers from the community (Who they pay well, I might add) to help them care for their families. They are committed to sustainable farming and run one of the only solar powered facilities in Central America. For these things you get two thumbs up from Thirsty Dudes.

Website
http://pitayaplus.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Evaporated Sugar Cane Juice
Categories
Coconut, Juice, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 14th, 2011
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Bot Water Key Lime

Bot Water Key Lime

Tonight, I was accompanied by a tickle in my throat. It was an unwelcome guest that I couldn't get rid of fast enough. I didn't ask for it, and it's not like I didn't drink anything all day. I drank many glasses of tea and no water. I know, I should drink more water, but it's hard when there is tea in the fridge. It's unsweetened tea, so I don't want to hear anything from dentists, dentist apprentices which just occurred to me is a pretty killer rhyme but I don't know where I would use it in a rap lyric, or any other profession that cares about teeth. I don't need you professionals or 2-week course takers telling me what to do. I know what's going on in my mouth and although I don't floss as much as I would like/need, I eventually get around to it and if you accompany me on the bus in the morning, you will rate me in the high percentile of dental hygiene. Seriously, there was a dude on the train last month in 20-degree weather sweating profusely in only an unzipped hoodie. So don't tell me.

While you're not telling me anything, don't tell me that I should have had a key lime pie by now because some people just don't have time to experiment with new pie flavors when there are apple and pumpkin pie lying around to be eaten. That being said, I have had key lime jellybeans and although they're not my favorite, they're not terrible and I feel, a fair representation of the general idea behind key lime. This drink was pretty good. It was lighter than the
grape Bot drink, but this was more quenching and less juice. It was good. Light on the flavor, lighter on the sweetness, and quite fulfilling for what I needed it for, the aforementioned throat tickler.

My throat is now fine and I owe it all to you, Bot. Thanks.

Website
http://www.botbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 6th, 2011
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Bot Enhanced Water, Lime, 16.9-Ounce (Pack of 12)

Hint Unsweetened Essence Water Watermelon

Hint Unsweetened Essence Water Watermelon

I gave my mom first sip, she said that it was just water. I made her try it again, and she said that it's like they forgot to put the flavor in. I gave it to my dad and he said that it was weak. I tried it and they were both right. Yes, it does taste like watermelon, yes it is weak, but it's different than the rest of the Hint stuff I've had. This drink is like Fibonacci sequence of drinks. The more you drink it, the more it tastes like watermelon. Once you stop, it gets back to square one. If you drank the whole thing, gluttonously and irresponsibly, in one chug fest of a drink session, it would probably be like eating a really wet watermelon.

This is good. It's refreshing, but if you're looking for a juice, this isn't it. If you want water with a little tiny bit of taste this is for you. If you like lemon water but are sick of always drinking the same thing, try this on for size, why don't you.

Website
http://www.drinkhint.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 18th, 2011
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Hint Premium Essence Water, Watermelon, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Bot Water Meyer Lemon

Bot Water Meyer Lemon

For a while now I've seen these little guys sitting on the shelf of Wegman's natural drink aisle. They used to have a different design with robot animals on them. It looked like a kids drink, and I'm not a huge fan of flavored water so I always passed it by. I can only imagine that there was a meeting at the company where they decided to change their image in order to reach a wider market. I keep picturing the Paul F Tompkins bit about peanut brittle. Someone surely must have yelled "I want five modern fonts on my desk by five o'clock! That's right five by five!" I think the decision they made was a wise one. The new look of Bot looks "new" and "fresh," but at the same time it could still be alluring to children. Bright colors will do that.

On to my other concern: do you remember in the 90's when flavored water was all the rage? I certainly do. I can also tell you that every one that I tried was terrible. The water would be flavored, but for some reason the companies felt compelled to add artificial sweetener. It's water people. It doesn't need to be sweetened. A little fruit flavor in there and you should be all set. The powers that be and I did not see eye to eye. As a result I avoided flavored waters.

About ten years ago or so Vitamin Water popped up. For the longest time I didn't try it because of my previously mentioned reasons. When I finally did I was shocked to see that I actually enjoyed it. It was a gross between the gross flavored waters of the 90's and Gatorade. Similar companies started popping up. Bot is going for something along those lines as well. The thing is that their water drinks are a lot thinner than their counterparts. This has more of the consistency of water than other ones I've tried. The flavor is also lighter, but it's definitely there and enjoyable.

Does this taste like a bottle of water with a lemon in it? No. Does it taste like a syrupy mess? Also, no. It's in the middle ground right where I like it to be.

Website
http://www.botbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Raw Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 18th, 2011
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Bot Enhanced Water Lemon, 16.9 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Bot Water Mixed Berry

Bot Water Mixed Berry

I'm a stupid idiot. I don't like painted wood. Why did you install wood with it's nice grains if you were just going to paint it. I can't imagine how awesome my house would look if all the wood was stained instead of lazily painted white. So, since I don't like painted wood, and I own my own house, I took all of the doors off the hinges to strip them. Here's a question for the general public; Did you know that stripping wood is exhausting and tedious work and nothing about it is easy? I tried using stripping chemicals and they just kind of melted the paint. I am currently using a heat gun and it's working, but about two inches at a time. It's tiring and when I got done today, I looked through my stock of drinks and knew that I needed something refreshing. Water? Or juice? I saw that red bottle looking at me and I grabbed it. It was nice. A little sweet and a little flavored. More than a lot of the Hint stuff but still less than a juice that would be too sweet. This was good. It's super low in calories and you can slam it until your heart is content, or until it's time to go back out and scrape more wood. Me? I've got three full doors and one half of another one. I'm closer to starting than to finishing and that blows. Once again, I'm an idiot, but a quenched idiot.

Website
http://www.botbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 23rd, 2011
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Bot Enhanced Water Berry, 16.9 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Hi Ball Sparkling Energy Water Lemon Lime

Hi Ball Sparkling Energy Water Lemon Lime

Up until a few minutes ago I though a "high ball" was the name of a specific alcoholic drink. It turns out it's a general term for and mixed drink. They are typically sold by middle aged women in their bras during mud wrestling matches held in living rooms.

Hi Ball is more specific. It is a very dry, borderline seltzer, sparkling energy drink. There is no sugar added at all. It's just water, bubbles, a small amount of lemon lime flavor, and some herbs for energy. It's the high-class energy drink. I understand how this could be attractive to some people, but it's not for me. I like my energy drinks to taste like juice, not.....nothing.

Website
http://www.hiballer.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 28th, 2011
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Hiball Energy Sparkling Water Lemon Lime, 10-Ounce Glass Bottles (Pack of 12)
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Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

Sparkling Ice Pomegranate Berry

Sparkling Ice Pomegranate Berry

Drinking this beverage is like voluntarily taking a vacation to a diet nightmare. Think of yourself as a standard man. You love hamburgers, french fries, milkshakes, and you drive a sweet '64 1/2 Ford Mustang. You have enough product in your hair to be considered a natural disaster and all you wear is blue jeans, black shoes, and white V-neck T-shirts. Sure, all I know about being a man apparently came from "Happy Days", but that was when men were men and women were women...not really, but you know how these reviews tend to go.

So you're a man. While eating a cheeseburger from some chrome diner, you meet another woman's glance and you fall in love. You go to the drive in. You go to whatever a sock hop is. You listen to records. All is great in the world. You decide to get a place together. You first shopping excursion, you buy the following standard items; hamburgers, Murry's pomade, toothpaste, new pack of shirts since yours all have greaze on it from working on your hog, and some cereal. Your girlfriend is trying out dieting even though she can't clock in at more than 110. I mean, she's got a killer body and you can lift her all day long, and you do. She buys items like, low fat milk, egg whites, Lean Pockets, and Sparkling Ice Pomegranate Berry.

You pay the $7.32 bill and head home, not having any idea of the torturous night you have ahead of you.

You make some hamburgers for yourself since you girlfriend wouldn't dare eat meat because it's too fatty and she's endlessly watching her figure, so she makes an egg white omelet. You think it's fine because she's so easy to look at and you ask her for something to drink while she's in the kitchen. She grabs you one of her six Sparkling Ice drinks. You sit down to a nice meal and you take a bite of your burger, love it, and then take a big, manly sip of your drink. You can't believe it. Your otherwise perfect girlfriend is trying to poison you. Surly, no one who is trying to live would drink this. It's fruity but so fake tasting that you swear it's flavored plastic fruit like the kind your grandma has on her living room table like she's permanently doing "still life" art drawing of the same fruit. You take another sip. It's no better than the first. It’s so sharp, so strong. It's cuts through the flavor of your meal and slices it's way down your throat like candy coated razor blades.

Needless to say, you and her do not work out and it's unfortunate. She had everything going for her, and people aren't going to understand. You'll catch flak for it for a while until people realize that this "diet" thing that's going on is not good for business. You'll be fine and you will grow from your experience while she will search endlessly for results that will never be enough and she will forever be unsatisfied.

Website
http://www.sparklingice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 8th, 2011
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Sparkling ICE Mountain Spring Water, Pomegranate Berry, 17-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)
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