Water (254 reviews)

Pure Cool Mojo Cool

Pure Cool Mojo Cool

What can I get you sir? A Dr. Pepper? Wise choice. Let me just go over here to the fountain, press this medium, responsible sized cup to the lever and...hmm. That's odd. Let's do it again because anyone who has worked a fountain drink machine knows that the drinks are lighter coming out of the spout than they are in the cups that we drink them out of. Round two, here we go. Nope, clear. Sir? Pardon me, sir? How are you feeling today? Daring? You are?! Sir, I like you. Let's do something here. What have I got? I've got this soda water. Check. I've got limes. Limes are good, right? You're not allergic to limes, are you, sir? Good. The only other thing I have is this spearmint gum. I'll put it in this separate plastic cup of water, mush it up, and pour it into your drink. Deal? Wicked. Let's do this right now.

What do you think? It's cold, right? You can't taste the lime? Eh, can't win 'em all. You can taste the mint, though? Yes. Good. It's a bit bitter because it's just soda water and there is no sugar or anything because, as we discussed, there is almost nothing behind this counter. On a scale from one to five, what would you give it? A three. You've got it sir. Also, because you're so adventurous, that drink is on the house.

Website
http://www.drinkpurecool.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 5th, 2011
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Bot Water Concord Grape

Bot Water Concord Grape

In an attempt to appease me with my request for non-colored drinks, Bot has come out with this concord grape water that isn't at all purple. That's a good way to differentiate between a cherry, lemon, grape, chocolate drink; just change the labels.

In all honesty, this drink came out way before I mentioned that novel idea to save companies money and save people's tongues from becoming blue when they drank/ate anything blue raspberry.

If you've never had Bot water, it's good, low calorie, and pretty flavorful. This grape is no different. No, it's not as good as that Blue Plum one I had a while back, but it's good. It does taste like concord grape, but I would say smells more like it than it tastes. They're all about light flavoring and optimum refreshment so this drink is right on par with their little schtick that they're running with. Water that tastes like concord grapes. You want it? Here it is.

Website
http://www.botbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 24th, 2011
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Bot Enhanced Water Grape, 16.9 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Ozarka 100% Natural Spring Water

Ozarka 100% Natural Spring Water

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't reviewed a single drink in the past week. This is because I have been working at Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, Texas. I worked 80 hours in 6 days and it was insane. But it was well worth the long hours and dust storms. I got to meet Henry Rollins, Brian Posehn, Donald Glover. I saw first hand how insane Odd Future are when I did security for their set when they instructed the crowd to disregard security and rush the barricade/stage. I was several feet away from Ryan Gosling on several occasions. I met lots of amazing people, made some new friends, and have stories about Danzig, Slayer, and many other experiences to share and remember for years.

The reason I'm mentioning all this is because this is the only water I drank for 6 days. If it wasn't for these bottles of water all over the fest, I probably would have died. So in a sense, this water saved my life and sanity. It's not special water; it tastes just like any other water. Unlike most bottle water, it will hold a special place in my heart.

Website
http://www.ozarkawater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Unsweetened
Categories
Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on November 8th, 2011
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Ozarka Natural Spring Water - 28 bottles - 20 oz. each

Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Organic Mixed Berry

Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Organic Mixed Berry

The first couple of sips of this I absolutely hated it. It's not its fault though. Let me lay it out for you. I love water. Seriously love it. For as much garbage as I drink for Thirsty Dudes, I drink at least 5x more water. The thing is something happens to the glory of water when you carbonate it. The simple act of adding air bubbles changes the flavor in a way that I wish it didn't. What can't carbonated water taste just like regular water, but make you burp? I really want that.

So I took a couple of sips, got kind of grossed out and put it in the fridge because I didn't feel like writing a review. Cut to a couple of days later I came home from band practice and decided to finish off the bottle. At first it was still gross, but the more I drank the more I became acclimated to it. I'm in no way a huge fan of it, but for a style of drink that I don't like, they did a good job with it.

One thing I find odd is that instead of flavoring it with a little bit of juice they used fruit oils. I guess that way there is zero sugar in this.

Website
http://www.cascadeicewater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 14th, 2011
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Clic Sparkling Water Beverage Mango

Clic Sparkling Water Beverage Mango

Before I even begin to think about describing the flavor of this drink I have to mention the packaging. Is it necessary? I don't know, but I can tell you that it is really, really cool, even if it is a bit impractical. It's like someone took a 20oz bottle, but it in half and put the top of a can of pop on top to seal the goodness in. I really don't see any benefits of this, besides looking awesome. The joy of plastic is that it is resealable, which this is not. Also, I don't know how well it would work for stacking the cans. It seems like they would fall over a lot easier with that bottom. Oh well, I'm not a stock boy so it's not my problem. I'll just sit back and admire the strangeness of it.

Now on for the purpose of this site, to let the public know how different beverages taste. I shockingly really enjoyed this. Flavored sparkling water isn't really my forte (I can't stand the seltzer taste), but I guess when you add a bunch of sugar to a carbonated water it technically becomes a pop. This tastes like a very light pop that actually tastes just like mangoes. There is no seltzer flavor in this can at all. My only issue is that by the time you get towards the bottom of the bottle/can (should we embrace "bottan" or "cannle" for it's name?) you get a slight hint of the aspartame that is hiding towards the bottom of the ingredients list. Other than that this is great with about half the sugar of normal soda.

Website
http://www.clicfoods.com
Country
China
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 30th, 2011
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Karma Wellness Water Spirit Passionfruit Green Tea

Karma Wellness Water Spirit Passionfruit Green Tea

I have reached this conclusion from the name of this beverage; Karma. If I am to believe the nonsense that I just thought up the taste of this beverage is dependent on how well you have lived your life in regard to others. By this way of thinking I've just learned that I have had a very mediocre relationship with my fellow human beings. I haven't been terrible to them, but at the same time I have never done grand things for them either. If I ever want this to be a top-notch drink then I am going to have to start being a better human being. Damn.
The drink is along the same lines as the Activate line. It's a normal flavored beverage that has a packet of vitamins in the cap. Before you drink it you push down the to of the cap to release the vitamins into the drink. Then you shake it all up and take your maiden sip. I wish the base drink was actually a brewed green tea instead of just green tea leaf extract. That and the secondary sweetener of Stevia rebaudiana make the drink taste a little fake. If I had been a better person I have no doubt that it would have been brewed tea and just cane sugar. I can just imagine how much better the drink would be. It actually does taste like passionfruit, but the coldness of the Stevia kind of ruins it. It's basically a fresher version of a tea version of a Vitamin Water (that was a mouthful) that was unfortunately sweetened in a way that I'm not into. Guess I'm off to be a sweeter dude to the world. I really want better tasting drinks.

Website
http://www.drinkkarma.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 4th, 2011
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Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Organic Citrus Twist

Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Organic Citrus Twist

Ahh cascading ice. Nothing tastes better than a nice avalanche rushing over a citrus orchard. A nice, giant ice dam covering all of Florida and pulling forth all the natural juices from oranges and lemons sounds delicious. Mother nature doing her job. Moving millions of tons of ice downward, squeezing juices from fruits to make crisp, cool, fresh water.

If that were the case, awesome, but there is one more step to make this drink do what it's supposed to do and that's to be carbonated. I suppose, at some state, man has to come in, bottle it, and put it on shelves. Using the previous scenario, all would happen as described, then man would break off chunks of this citrus ice into clean wheelbarrows, take them to the carbonation factory where they carbonate whatever is poured into "the hole" and then it bottles it and it's off the consumers everywhere.

The result? An unsweetened Sprite. People, it is just seltzer water with orange and lemon. I guess it would be like an unsweetened Ski. Wait, does Ski have lime or lemon? Now I don't remember.

Website
http://www.cascadeicewater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 7th, 2011
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Twist Mango Acai

Twist Mango Acai

I'd like to think that when Talking Rain was trying to get an advertising campaign together for this line of drinks someone in the board meeting spoke up about it being the obvious choice to have Chuck Berry as a spokesperson. I'd like to think that the idea (along with a sampler of drinks) even made it to Mr. Berry's desk. He sat back in his chair and thought to himself "Well, why not?" He was getting up their in years and wasn't able to perform nearly as much as he used to. Also, the contracts he signed early in his youth didn't really pan out for him as well as they should have. Why not take on one last job? It would be easy. They could just play his classic songs "Do the Twist" and "Twist Again." At the end he could be standing there with a guitar play a little lick and then say some tagline. It would be easy and help provide a little extra for his family when he inevitably shuffled off this mortal coil. He was just about to respond to the offer when he cracked open a bottle of the mango acai flavored water. He took a sip and it wasn't as good as he would have hoped, but it was good enough to get his endorsement. He continued to write his response, taking sips every so often. He's an old timer and never really got he hang of computers so typing took him awhile. With each sip the drink tasted worse. Even though everything in the drink is organic, it tasted off. It almost was like a more flavorful cleaner. It doesn't really make any sense. It only slightly tasted like mango and it didn't really taste like agave. Maybe it's what the watered down acai was to blame. Chuck hesitated in his typing, took one more sip and decided they shouldn't have added a sweetener at all. If it were just water with mango and acai nectar mixed in it would have been more palatable. He closed his browser and turned off the computer. The beverage was sub par and he was the legendary Chuck Berry. Why should he give them a courtesy response?

If we learned one thing here it's that Check Berry can be kind of a jerk about returning emails. A simple "No Thank You" would have been fine and courteous. Looks like the fame has gone to his head.

Website
http://www.talkingrain.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave Nectar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 12th, 2011
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Pure Cool Pear Ginger-Ice

Pure Cool Pear Ginger-Ice

This should be something I love. Over the past year or so I've fallen in love with low sugar "dry" sodas. They provide the bubbles and the flavors that I need without being anything more than liquefied sweetener. The thing is I think that a very small amount of sugar may be needed when drinks are carbonated. I still don't understand it after 32 years on this planet; if you drink a glass of water it's cool refreshing and tasty (in a tasteless kind of way), but if you take that same water and carbonate it the flavor changes. It acquires this taste that is borderline bitter. Is it the CO2 that I taste? I can only assume it is, and it can ruin drinks for me. If that added taste wasn't there this drink would be perfect. It has a light pear taste and there is a nice mellow ginger aftertaste. This is the kind of drink that you could enjoy after a nice meal. It's just too bad that I can't get over the "seltzer water" taste it has. Seriously, if this were uncarbonated I would probably be raving about it. Dear taste buds, please start liking the taste of unsweetened carbonated water. There is a world of drinks out there that are way better for us that we are just not enjoying because of it.

Website
http://www.drinkpurecool.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Ginger, Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 13th, 2011
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Polar Seltzer Pomegranate

Polar Seltzer Pomegranate

'Round these parts, we call it "Spicy Water." That's the water you make with your carbonation machine and just don't add flavor. I'm talking about that pop machine that looks like a penguin that makes pop for you when you want it in cool, 1 liter bottles. My girlfriend always gets "soda water with lemon" which is just carbonated water. It's strange though. I drink water all of the day and enjoy it but once it's carbonated, it gets a bit of a gnarly taste to it. She loves the stuff. I don't know what her problem is. I sneak sips periodically and find it quite vile.

I knew what I was in for when I tried this and was actually proven a little bit wrong. It's got that strange bitterness or whatever goes on inside carbonated water, but the pomegranate taste is great. This is actually a drink that has no sugar or carbs or anything, tastes fruity, and for some might be quenching. I made a little face after every sip, but, as previously mentioned, I don't fancy “fancy water.” I do like flavored waters, which would basically be this sans "spice" but this is a world apart from a drink like Hint or equivalent.

When my mom reads this, she's going to be sore at me because she loves seltzer water, too. Seltzer water used to only be used for clowns but now it's used for clowns and moms. I'm not going to draw any lines comparing the two, but you can.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 16th, 2011
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