Water (254 reviews)

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Green Apple

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Green Apple

I think this might be the last straw. If a quality company such as Four Point Zero can’t make a green apple beverage that I truly enjoy, I don’t think there is any hope for the flavor. The odd thing is that green apples are my go-to apple. Granny Smith all the way, all day. Green apple…well anything other than actual apples, never taste like that to me. A lot of the time they taste like candy, which this does only vaguely. There must be a different breed of apple that the green apple flavor is based off of. I bet I wouldn’t really like this in apple form either. This is all personal taste though. If you like the “sour” green apple flavor, but want it sugar free then this seltzer is calling your name. It’s really not bad, even for me, but I just want a Granny Smith seltzer.

Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 29th, 2016
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Doppelganger Sparkling Bitters Pear Ginger

Doppelganger Sparkling Bitters Pear Ginger

Last week was my birthday and I am now officially in my late 30s. I can no longer deny it, I am an adult. Sure I still act like a teenager tour the world in vans, ditch work to go walk around the woods and run a website where I review non-alcoholic beverages, but I am still an adult. Proof of that is that I really enjoy this drink. It is sparkling water with tonic bitters mixed in and I find it wonderful. Look, I know in every one of these companies reviews we mentioned them being for adults. Sure, kids can drink them, but I don’t know a single child who would enjoy this. I’ve given them normal seltzer water and they hate it. The bitterness in this would probably make any child hate me for life. It’s a risk I’m not willing to take. Also, I want to keep it all for myself. If pears had rinds this is what they would taste like, well with a healthy dose of ginger. Actually the pear flavor is very light, but the ginger is heavy. I want more unsweetened, sparkling beverages that are ginger flavored in my life.

Website
http://www.sparklingbitters.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 26th, 2016
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Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Black Raspberry

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Black Raspberry

Ahh black raspberry. The most "goth" of all the fruits. No. That's not true. Blood orange could probably win in a quiz show involving nothing but questions about Jesus and Mary Chain and Bauhaus. I guess runner up would be black raspberry followed by black cherry. Cherry is too close to "cheery" which is not the epitome of goth.

This tastes light and bubbly. We won't tell anyone about that, though. It's nice. From drinking giant bottles of Polar seltzer all the time to a nice, smaller glass of this, it's refreshing to be able to have a different flavor. It smells nice and fruity and is just a good, simple drink. Both of the Cocteau Twins would be happy to drink this and unhappy about everything else.

Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 19th, 2016
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Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Watermelon

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Watermelon

To me seltzer is seltzer, no matter what the brand. I mean it’s just carbonated water with a little flavoring in it. I now love it as an adult, but I was fine with grabbing any brand that was available. Four Point Zero has shown me that I was wrong all this time, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to forgive them. I mean after tasting the perfection that is this seltzer, how am I supposed to go back to the cheap stuff they have at my grocery store? Those jerks.

Their greatness was proven to me when I drank this bottle of watermelon. That is a flavor that 99% of the time goes wrong and tastes like a Jolly Rancher. Even when sugar is not involved it still tastes like candy. This bottle is the new standard though. It tastes like someone squeezed the juice from the melon, watered it down slightly (but not too much), and then carbonated it. It’s all of that but with zero sugar. It’s magic I tell you. I have never tasted a more authentic watermelon beverage that wasn’t just straight juice. The bar has been set, everyone take notice.

Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 14th, 2016
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Polar Mango Berry

Polar Mango Berry

Do I love mango? No. Not really. Will I say this might be the most accurate interpretation of mango? Yep. I don't know what it is about mango but whatever it is, it has been so poignantly captured within this bottle that if you like mango, you can just buy a couple bottles of this and save yourself the trouble of shaving, cutting, cubing or whatever it is you do with a mango.

I don't get a lot of berry in here but you get so much mango that you have no reason to wonder why her name came first. I didn't want to appear sexist so I made mango a "her." You like that? I'm not a misogynistic turd. Mangos can do whatever they want. If they want to make fruit love in this bottle than so be it. That makes it more disgusting for me to drink. I wish I hadn't said that. Even if it is fake.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 12th, 2016
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Claire Baie Sparkling Water Blackberry Raspberry

Claire Baie Sparkling Water Blackberry Raspberry

There have been so many of these that I’m not even trying anymore. If you are a rational human being and think sucralose is disgusting, then steer clear of this. If you are a mutant and it doesn’t bother you, well then sit back and get ready to enjoy some berry flavoring. I’ve said it before but if they got rid of the sweetener altogether, this would be a good seltzer.

Website
http://witbeveragecompany.com/wbc-brands-jelly-belly-wbc-gi-chicago-green-river-caruso-legacy-black-
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 5th, 2016
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Karma Wellness Water Probiotics Berry Cherry

Karma Wellness Water Probiotics Berry Cherry

I enjoy the powder much more than the concentrate but this one didn't taste as much like Flintstone vitamins as I would have liked. It was not bad but it was just not what I thought. It was actually like a dark, sweet juice more than a water. I don't know what the line is between water and juice but if you gave this to one hundred people, I would say that everyone would call it a juice.

Karma is good at coming up with new flavors and this is good. It's not anything special. It's not a flavor that you haven't had before but they are always coming out with something new. This, if anything, is a nice, familiar juice that is low in calories and high in probiotics. That's a win, right? What more could you ask for? If you say anything you should not be so greedy. I already told you that Karma comes out with new stuff all the time. Jeez.

Website
http://www.drinkkarma.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice, Mix/Concentrate, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 20th, 2016
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Claire Baie Naturally Flavored Sparkling Water Beverage With Juice Kiwi Strawberry

Claire Baie Naturally Flavored Sparkling Water Beverage With Juice Kiwi Strawberry

It always seems that the drinks that we are lukewarm about, especially the diet ones, are what companies send us the most flavors of. There has been so much Claire Baie in our lives over the past few months and I’m afraid the sheer quantity is effecting our reviews. As I’ve said before these drinks were not created with me as their target audience. It’s true that I watch my sugar intake sometimes, but I have never been on a diet, and I am not a fan of zero calorie sweeteners, especially sucralose. There is a world of people out there who are on diets though and rely on beverages such as this to help curb their craving for sweet carbonated drinks. I think those people would be happy with this. If you drink sucralose on a regular basis you have to get acclimated to it and that weird taste probably doesn’t even register to you anymore. That taste is what is holding this drink back in my eyes, but if take that out of the equation and you have a decent kiwi strawberry drink. I’ve had a lot of kiwi strawberry stuff in my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a fresh juice where those were the ingredients. Man, I bet that would be the best. Compared to that this would be a pale imitation, but since 99.9% of the population has probably never drunk such a thing this is very passable.

Website
http://witbeveragecompany.com/wbc-brands-jelly-belly-wbc-gi-chicago-green-river-caruso-legacy-black-
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 30th, 2016
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Polar Jalepeno Citrus Margarita

Polar Jalepeno Citrus Margarita

Jalapeno: A green pepper that is hot.
Citrus: A zesty, floral flavor that I cannot define without using the word of the fruit it comes from.
Margarita: A sour or citrus based alcoholic drink with tequila and salt as well as a strange classification of pizza.
This: Not really anything mentioned above.

This is spicy but my palate and I cannot decide whether it's the sparkles or jalapeno. It was a lot lighter in citrus than any of the other flavors they have. The margarita...I am not the best judge of what a margarita tastes like as I haven't had a drop of alcohol since 1998. I can tell you that it wasn't salty, though. This was just kind of confusing and weak. I love Polar but this probably took the backseat to whomever invented the allusive "Unicorn Kiss" that will probably be unfindable at this point. Trust me. We've contacted Polar who sent us this and said they don't have any more in stock. What an April Fools prank, taunting us with a fantastical beverage that will never exist again.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 26th, 2016
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Steaz Cactus Water With Green Tea

Steaz Cactus Water With Green Tea

I think I speak for all people when I say that prickly pear is a wonderful fruit. Pears blow but add some spikes and thorns and nails and it flips it right around. Make a pear dangerous to eat and it makes it better than its soft, smooth brother. Or cousin. They're related but maybe just through marriage. It counts but barely.

This is wonderful. The green tea isn't powerful but you can taste a little bite. The prickly pear, though, she shines through with beams of light as bright as the G.D. sun. It's a soft flavored drink. Real sugar and a little bit of Stevia come together and really round this little guy out.

This rarely happens, but I finished the drink before I finished writing this review. I'm on the top of the third paragraph and it's gone. I've polished off twelve ounces in like 100 words. This is great. It's not terrible for you, either. At fifty calories per can, I'd easily take a tallboy of this any day of the week. You hear me, Steaz? Tallboys. I'm inventing the demand as I type. Everyone who reads my words is seeing it in my head wondering if it exists. Make it exist. Do the right thing, Steaz. Do the right thing.

Website
http://www.steaz.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 25th, 2016
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