Water (254 reviews)

Twist Lemon

Twist Lemon

Here's what you do. Get yourself a couple of lemons. Cut them in half. Now pour yourself a decent sized glass of water. The next thing to do is to take those lemons you just cut up and squeeze the heck out of them into the water. Use a miniature pool skimmer to remove all pulp and seeds that have inevitably made their way into the water. Finally pull out that bottle of fancy agave syrup that you got at the health food stores. You thought you'd put it in your coffee, but you never did and it's just been sitting there. Dump a generous portion into the water and mix it all up. You now have lemon Twist. It's nothing spectacular, just lemon water with some sweetener in it. I don't know why you would put sweetener in lemon water, but they did. Enjoy, or not.

Website
http://www.talkingrain.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Agave Nectar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 27th, 2011
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Twist Lightly Flavored Water, Lemon, 19-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Pure Cool It's Berry Cool! Pomegranate, Cherry, & Cranberry

Pure Cool It's Berry Cool! Pomegranate, Cherry, & Cranberry

Greg makes a good point. He said, "How can you make a product like this. Doesn't anyone taste it before it leaves the company?" I made everyone, and I mean everyone, drink this because it was so bad. How bad? I would describe this as a berry scented urinal cake. Ladies, don't know what a urinal cake smell like? Go to your local bar, and don't bother going into the bathroom because it already smells like a urinal cake. If it doesn't, go into the men's room and take a big whiff. That's pee and urinal cakes [slash] what this drink tastes like. It was co-described as a watered down cough syrup. I concur. It was co-described as medicinal. I concur. I was going to make up this great tale about how I'm "pure cool" but it's not worth it.

Honestly, you have to taste it to believe it, but this is sheer garbage. It is "cool" but I think that it's the cherry in there that's medicinifying, a technical term, this drink. I had ten people try it and there is half a bottle left. No one except me went in for seconds. No double takes. No, "wait, is it really that bad?" Well friends, I will tell you, it was that bad and it still is that bad, in a half full bottle, in the garbage.

Garbage. If you see it, it will inevitably be on sale. Buy it and make one of your dumb friends taste it. You'll laugh when you hear what he has to say about it. It will probably be something along the lines of what I described above.

Website
http://www.drinkpurecool.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 4th, 2011
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PURE COOL Berry Cool, 16 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Rob's Really Good Moroccan Orange Spice

Rob's Really Good Moroccan Orange Spice

I drink so much water. So much water. I like it. Nix that. I love it. It's crisp, it's refreshing and it's healthy. Sure I pee an obscene amount, but who cares about that. I've often thought about trying to flavor the water with random things around the house. No not like dirty socks or DVDs. I mean with herbs and spices. Just add a little to give the water a hint of flavor. I then realize I have no idea what I'm doing and that it would probably taste disgusting. No one wants disgusting. Everyone wants tasty.

Rob's has done what I wanted to do, and they've done it correctly. This is water with hibiscus, orange peel, ginger, cinnamon and cloves. I eat the foods of many cultures. That's right, I eat pasta as well as tacos. Seriously though I drink a lot of drinks, but I also like trying foods. I'm not one to say that something tastes exotic, but that is exactly how I would describe this. It's so simple yet complex at the same time. Flavored water with no sweeteners, just herbs and the like.

It tastes faintly orange, but the cloves and cinnamon stand more towards the front. Not in a gross "oh god I have a mouth full of spices" way, but in a pleasant exotic way. If you like unsweetened drinks with a good amount of flavor listen to Rob's sirens call.

Website
http://www.robsreallygood.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 3rd, 2011
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Omega Water Fruit Fusion

Omega Water Fruit Fusion

I find it really strange that in a post-apocalyptic world not many people actually died. I mean maybe 27% of the population is no longer with us, which is tragic, but from all of the comics I've read I would have expected it to be maybe a couple of thousand people left at the most. I guess all of the little amounts of radiation we used in microwaves and cell phones acted like a flu shot of sorts. The strangest thing is that most of the water has been destroyed. One company controls all of the pure water that is left in the world. They are called Omega Water. Sure there are some mutated waters roaming the countryside, but the radiation left them all carbonated and unrefreshing.

To be fair Omega Water isn't pure water like we remember it from the before time. The nuclear war left this water source chock full of water and minerals, including the ever elusive omega-3. I guess their name has two meanings...clever. I personally like this fruit version. It tastes like someone took a pestle and mortar to some children's vitamins and mixed in that fine powder with the water. It tastes like water with faint fruitiness. Fruitiness is now an acceptable word in these end times. Get used to it.

Website
http://www.omegawater.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 13th, 2011
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Omega Water Rainbow 12 Pack- Omega-3 Enriched Flavored Water

Omega Water Berry Breeze

Omega Water Berry Breeze

This is quasi-gross. That's enough to punish this drink in my eyes for eternity, but I really did want to like it. I picked it up on a whim, thought to myself, "I'd like to encounter a berry breeze. This will do it for me. Great. Cash me out." It's a giant bottle and I wanted to slay the whole thing. First sip and there it was. That diet burn. What is that? I hate it. I will say there are omega-3's in here. Great. People are only going to drink it if it tastes good. If you and your dumb throat and dumber taste buds have accepted that this is the way that a standard diet drink should taste, you, my dumb friend, have a new favorite drink.

If I could get past the stingin' and the burnin', I would say that the taste is alright. Taste gets a three out of five. It smells a little odd, like an apple but like an uncut or unchomped apple. I found that weird but it's good that they could somehow disguise the fish oil scent, which is rank, not to be confused by the Smiths live album by the same name. Morrissey, if you're listening, don't waste your time with this drink.

Website
http://www.omegawater.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 30th, 2011
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Berry Breeze Omega Water 12 Pack - Omega-3 Enriched Flavored Water

Pure Cool Mojo Cool

Pure Cool Mojo Cool

What can I get you sir? A Dr. Pepper? Wise choice. Let me just go over here to the fountain, press this medium, responsible sized cup to the lever and...hmm. That's odd. Let's do it again because anyone who has worked a fountain drink machine knows that the drinks are lighter coming out of the spout than they are in the cups that we drink them out of. Round two, here we go. Nope, clear. Sir? Pardon me, sir? How are you feeling today? Daring? You are?! Sir, I like you. Let's do something here. What have I got? I've got this soda water. Check. I've got limes. Limes are good, right? You're not allergic to limes, are you, sir? Good. The only other thing I have is this spearmint gum. I'll put it in this separate plastic cup of water, mush it up, and pour it into your drink. Deal? Wicked. Let's do this right now.

What do you think? It's cold, right? You can't taste the lime? Eh, can't win 'em all. You can taste the mint, though? Yes. Good. It's a bit bitter because it's just soda water and there is no sugar or anything because, as we discussed, there is almost nothing behind this counter. On a scale from one to five, what would you give it? A three. You've got it sir. Also, because you're so adventurous, that drink is on the house.

Website
http://www.drinkpurecool.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 5th, 2011
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Bot Water Concord Grape

Bot Water Concord Grape

In an attempt to appease me with my request for non-colored drinks, Bot has come out with this concord grape water that isn't at all purple. That's a good way to differentiate between a cherry, lemon, grape, chocolate drink; just change the labels.

In all honesty, this drink came out way before I mentioned that novel idea to save companies money and save people's tongues from becoming blue when they drank/ate anything blue raspberry.

If you've never had Bot water, it's good, low calorie, and pretty flavorful. This grape is no different. No, it's not as good as that Blue Plum one I had a while back, but it's good. It does taste like concord grape, but I would say smells more like it than it tastes. They're all about light flavoring and optimum refreshment so this drink is right on par with their little schtick that they're running with. Water that tastes like concord grapes. You want it? Here it is.

Website
http://www.botbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 24th, 2011
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Bot Enhanced Water Grape, 16.9 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Ozarka 100% Natural Spring Water

Ozarka 100% Natural Spring Water

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't reviewed a single drink in the past week. This is because I have been working at Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, Texas. I worked 80 hours in 6 days and it was insane. But it was well worth the long hours and dust storms. I got to meet Henry Rollins, Brian Posehn, Donald Glover. I saw first hand how insane Odd Future are when I did security for their set when they instructed the crowd to disregard security and rush the barricade/stage. I was several feet away from Ryan Gosling on several occasions. I met lots of amazing people, made some new friends, and have stories about Danzig, Slayer, and many other experiences to share and remember for years.

The reason I'm mentioning all this is because this is the only water I drank for 6 days. If it wasn't for these bottles of water all over the fest, I probably would have died. So in a sense, this water saved my life and sanity. It's not special water; it tastes just like any other water. Unlike most bottle water, it will hold a special place in my heart.

Website
http://www.ozarkawater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Unsweetened
Categories
Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on November 8th, 2011
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Ozarka Natural Spring Water - 28 bottles - 20 oz. each

Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Organic Mixed Berry

Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Organic Mixed Berry

The first couple of sips of this I absolutely hated it. It's not its fault though. Let me lay it out for you. I love water. Seriously love it. For as much garbage as I drink for Thirsty Dudes, I drink at least 5x more water. The thing is something happens to the glory of water when you carbonate it. The simple act of adding air bubbles changes the flavor in a way that I wish it didn't. What can't carbonated water taste just like regular water, but make you burp? I really want that.

So I took a couple of sips, got kind of grossed out and put it in the fridge because I didn't feel like writing a review. Cut to a couple of days later I came home from band practice and decided to finish off the bottle. At first it was still gross, but the more I drank the more I became acclimated to it. I'm in no way a huge fan of it, but for a style of drink that I don't like, they did a good job with it.

One thing I find odd is that instead of flavoring it with a little bit of juice they used fruit oils. I guess that way there is zero sugar in this.

Website
http://www.cascadeicewater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 14th, 2011
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Karma Wellness Water Spirit Passionfruit Green Tea

Karma Wellness Water Spirit Passionfruit Green Tea

I have reached this conclusion from the name of this beverage; Karma. If I am to believe the nonsense that I just thought up the taste of this beverage is dependent on how well you have lived your life in regard to others. By this way of thinking I've just learned that I have had a very mediocre relationship with my fellow human beings. I haven't been terrible to them, but at the same time I have never done grand things for them either. If I ever want this to be a top-notch drink then I am going to have to start being a better human being. Damn.
The drink is along the same lines as the Activate line. It's a normal flavored beverage that has a packet of vitamins in the cap. Before you drink it you push down the to of the cap to release the vitamins into the drink. Then you shake it all up and take your maiden sip. I wish the base drink was actually a brewed green tea instead of just green tea leaf extract. That and the secondary sweetener of Stevia rebaudiana make the drink taste a little fake. If I had been a better person I have no doubt that it would have been brewed tea and just cane sugar. I can just imagine how much better the drink would be. It actually does taste like passionfruit, but the coldness of the Stevia kind of ruins it. It's basically a fresher version of a tea version of a Vitamin Water (that was a mouthful) that was unfortunately sweetened in a way that I'm not into. Guess I'm off to be a sweeter dude to the world. I really want better tasting drinks.

Website
http://www.drinkkarma.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 4th, 2011
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