Water (254 reviews)

DeDe Basil Seed with Honey

DeDe Basil Seed with Honey

First of all, look at the large image of this. The flavor tells it all. Basil seeds. This didn't taste like what you would think and all I can use to describe it is if you took a banana Laffy Taffy and rolled it around in birdseed for texture. You know what I hate? Banana Laffy Taffy. If anyone has a good gag reflex and loved banana Laffy Taffy, this could potentially be the drink for you. Otherwise I might advise you stay clear.

This trip to the Asian market is slowly ending up in a bust. I've got to go back, but I might be less adventurous next time.

Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Other/Weird, Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 29th, 2010
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Sparkling Ice Pomegranate Berry

Sparkling Ice Pomegranate Berry

Drinking this beverage is like voluntarily taking a vacation to a diet nightmare. Think of yourself as a standard man. You love hamburgers, french fries, milkshakes, and you drive a sweet '64 1/2 Ford Mustang. You have enough product in your hair to be considered a natural disaster and all you wear is blue jeans, black shoes, and white V-neck T-shirts. Sure, all I know about being a man apparently came from "Happy Days", but that was when men were men and women were women...not really, but you know how these reviews tend to go.

So you're a man. While eating a cheeseburger from some chrome diner, you meet another woman's glance and you fall in love. You go to the drive in. You go to whatever a sock hop is. You listen to records. All is great in the world. You decide to get a place together. You first shopping excursion, you buy the following standard items; hamburgers, Murry's pomade, toothpaste, new pack of shirts since yours all have greaze on it from working on your hog, and some cereal. Your girlfriend is trying out dieting even though she can't clock in at more than 110. I mean, she's got a killer body and you can lift her all day long, and you do. She buys items like, low fat milk, egg whites, Lean Pockets, and Sparkling Ice Pomegranate Berry.

You pay the $7.32 bill and head home, not having any idea of the torturous night you have ahead of you.

You make some hamburgers for yourself since you girlfriend wouldn't dare eat meat because it's too fatty and she's endlessly watching her figure, so she makes an egg white omelet. You think it's fine because she's so easy to look at and you ask her for something to drink while she's in the kitchen. She grabs you one of her six Sparkling Ice drinks. You sit down to a nice meal and you take a bite of your burger, love it, and then take a big, manly sip of your drink. You can't believe it. Your otherwise perfect girlfriend is trying to poison you. Surly, no one who is trying to live would drink this. It's fruity but so fake tasting that you swear it's flavored plastic fruit like the kind your grandma has on her living room table like she's permanently doing "still life" art drawing of the same fruit. You take another sip. It's no better than the first. It’s so sharp, so strong. It's cuts through the flavor of your meal and slices it's way down your throat like candy coated razor blades.

Needless to say, you and her do not work out and it's unfortunate. She had everything going for her, and people aren't going to understand. You'll catch flak for it for a while until people realize that this "diet" thing that's going on is not good for business. You'll be fine and you will grow from your experience while she will search endlessly for results that will never be enough and she will forever be unsatisfied.

Website
http://www.sparklingice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 8th, 2011
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Sparkling ICE Mountain Spring Water, Pomegranate Berry, 17-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Botanical Vitality Citrus Splash

Botanical Vitality Citrus Splash

This is a diet water based drink similar to Vitamin Water or Gatorade. I took a sip and it tasted a bit strange. It was slightly chalky and tasted of citrus. There was something else there that I couldn't quite place. I handed the bottle off to Editor Dan and he couldn't place it either, although he was familiar with it. It was at this time that Dan discovered the downfall of this drink. He looked at the ingredients to try and sort out what the mystery flavor was. He didn't find what he was looking for. Instead he found that the drink contained cod, pollock, haddock, hake, cusk, redfish, sole and flounder in the form of "fish gelatin." What the hell!?!?!! I don't understand it at all, and I certainly don't approve. One sip was all that I ingested of this drink. It was mediocre at best to begin with, but the fact that I was drinking Nemo makes me say no thank you.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 12th, 2011
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Pure Cool It's Berry Cool! Pomegranate, Cherry, & Cranberry

Pure Cool It's Berry Cool! Pomegranate, Cherry, & Cranberry

Greg makes a good point. He said, "How can you make a product like this. Doesn't anyone taste it before it leaves the company?" I made everyone, and I mean everyone, drink this because it was so bad. How bad? I would describe this as a berry scented urinal cake. Ladies, don't know what a urinal cake smell like? Go to your local bar, and don't bother going into the bathroom because it already smells like a urinal cake. If it doesn't, go into the men's room and take a big whiff. That's pee and urinal cakes [slash] what this drink tastes like. It was co-described as a watered down cough syrup. I concur. It was co-described as medicinal. I concur. I was going to make up this great tale about how I'm "pure cool" but it's not worth it.

Honestly, you have to taste it to believe it, but this is sheer garbage. It is "cool" but I think that it's the cherry in there that's medicinifying, a technical term, this drink. I had ten people try it and there is half a bottle left. No one except me went in for seconds. No double takes. No, "wait, is it really that bad?" Well friends, I will tell you, it was that bad and it still is that bad, in a half full bottle, in the garbage.

Garbage. If you see it, it will inevitably be on sale. Buy it and make one of your dumb friends taste it. You'll laugh when you hear what he has to say about it. It will probably be something along the lines of what I described above.

Website
http://www.drinkpurecool.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 4th, 2011
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PURE COOL Berry Cool, 16 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Biliner Premium Mineral Water

Biliner Premium Mineral Water

Mark Smits was a famous actor. He rose to stardom after a series of romantic comedies and after that, his stardom just kept rising. He quickly saw the danger in being so famous and influential. People were doing things like carving their names in their arms, getting tattoos of his perfect face on their bodies, and dressing like him at comic book conventions. His friends started to notice it and made him do things to see just how far people would go "in his honor." They would do things like have him go up to people in the streets and say that he'll give them a hug if they grab strangers butts and they would do it without hesitation. He made people get "MARK SMIT" tattood on their knuckles with the leftover "S" on their thumb and a peace sign on the other thumb and people did it and smiled the whole way. To step it up a notch, his friends dared him to start a company with the premise of people buying anything he endorses. The challenge was on.

Mark bought a thousand bottles, went down to the point in city where the trucks dumped all the snow and just filled up the bottles with salty, dirty, melted snow water. People cringed a bit when they drank it but since Mark said that it was cool, so did everyone else. He decided he did not like what he had become and quit acting all together. He decided to take his million of dollars and invest it wisely and spend the rest on doing good in cities around the country. It would all come full circle when he was working across the country at a soup kitchen and a case of his salty snow water came in and the homeless people recognized him from the campaign and made him sign bottles of it. Mark would never be able to escape his unfortunately uber-successful past.

Website
http://biliner.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 3rd, 2013
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Ayala Herbal Water Cloves, Cardamom, and Cinnamon

Ayala Herbal Water Cloves, Cardamom, and Cinnamon

It's...alright. I mentioned before about how I don't really like drinks that taste like water with other flavor aftertaste. I mean, I am a fan of light drinks but it's a little tricky with flavored water. Berry Bot is a little too light for me taste. I think that with a titch more zing, this drink would rule. I was excited for the clove and cinnamon but I only got a little cinnamon and even less clove.

Website
http://www.herbalwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 5th, 2010
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Ayalas Herbal Water, Cloves Cardamom Cinnamon, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Metromint Spearmint

Metromint Spearmint

The spearmint, so far, has been my least favorite flavor by Metromint by far. Simply put, it tastes like when you are chewing spearmint gum and drinking water at the same time. Sure it's a crisp taste, but I feel that the flavor of spearmint is so unique to gum that it's hard to think otherwise.

Website
http://www.metromint.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 16th, 2010
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Metromint Water, Spearmint, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Arizona Tea Water Mandarin Orange

Arizona  Tea Water Mandarin Orange

Perhaps you are someone's grandmother who makes some hot tea. Perhaps you also, like most grandmothers, save your tea bags and reuse them. They lived through the Depression you know, and they will never trust the banks or the tea industry again! On the fourth or fifth use of the tea bag you would probably brew a tea that is as strong as this.
It tastes like what it says it is, tea water. You could also call it watered down tea, but I think that might cause some problems for the marketing department.
All joking aside, it's really not terrible. It's more of a tea flavored water than anything. The mandarin orange flavor is present in a strong aftertaste. I could see a lot of people enjoying this on a regular basis. It's too weak for my tastes.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Iced Tea, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 11th, 2010
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Twist Pomegranate Blueberry

Twist Pomegranate Blueberry

I like flavored waters. I saw this and immediately bought it. I anticipated a night, light flavor but I was promptly let down. I am unfamiliar with the taste of agave but between this and the "natural organic pomegranate blueberry flavor" it tasted...fake.

Website
http://www.talkingrain.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave Nectar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 17th, 2010
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Twist Lightly Flavored Water, Pomegranate Blueberry, 19-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Metromint Cherry Mint

Metromint Cherry Mint

Who doesn't love a refreshing water to cap a long afternoon of shoveling snow? I'm pretty sure that I can speak for the entirety of the North East United States when I say, "Us!" To put a feather in the fake cap of water, we will put a touch of cherry to sweeten and flavor it up and a touch of mint to cool it down. Together, we have the hard to find Cherry mint Metromint water. This was the hardest to find and for that reason, the flavor that I looked forward to the most. Sadly, yes sadly, I shouldn't have. First sip is strange. You know what it's going to taste like because you've been down Metromint Boulevard before. It still doesn't prepare you for what's to come. Water, cool refreshing water, followed by cherry "essence" (which is fine with me) and mint. Do you know what mint and cherry tastes like? Luden's. Yep. You know when you're sick and you've got that scratch in your throat and you want to take care of it in a flash? Luden's to the rescue! Cherry to mask the clearly medicinal taste of the Mentholatum which in itself tastes like cool mint.

So, because of the relevance of this drink to medicine, and the fact that it's just not quite what I wanted since I'm not sick. I am forced to say that this is my least favorite Metromint water. I do not regret the quest for the holy grail that I put myself through, but I wish that I had liked it more than I did. Sorry Metromint, you can't win all the time. We'll always have chocolate mint.

Website
http://www.metromint.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 29th, 2011
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Metromint Water, Cherrymint, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)
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