Coffee (208 reviews)

Rise Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black

Rise Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black

Before I can say anything else about this product I have to acknowledge the fact that this is the second can I have drank and both of them made the craziest noises when I cracked them open. It was like I was opening a vault door to some sort of cryogenic chamber. Highly pressurized air came rushing forward and for a moment I was in a scene in a science fiction movie.

Cold brew has been making quite a splash over the past couple of years. Not only are local coffee shops serving it more regularly, but it seems like new companies are popping up every week to see you their ready to drink version. Rise only uses two ingredients in their cold brew, water and coffee beans (organic of course). The thing that makes them stands out in this sea(okay small lake, or maybe a pond?) of new companies is that they infuse it with nitrogen to make it creamy and smooth, which I will attest to, it is. To me this tastes like coffee grounds smelled when I was a kid. It was such a wonderful flavor, but then when I tried it brewed, the taste/scent never matched up. This would have made me a regular coffee drinker at an early age. Like most things that are good it is simple. That is where the power lies. The more garbage you add to a beverage the more you have to worry about things evening out. When it’s a two item process, there is so little that could go wrong, especially when you know how to do a proper brew as Rise does.

In our dystopian future where machines have taken over everything and the only hope humanities has lies in the fact that they can still make delicious coffee, Rise will be king. (that’s what we call a call back in the biz. People like when you explain things like that, right? )

Website
http://risebrewingco.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 11 hours, 54 minutes ago
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Kill Cliff Cold Brew Coffee Mojo Rising

Kill Cliff Cold Brew Coffee Mojo Rising

This drink is an example of the type of coffee I do not like. Even though it is cold brewed and has coconut cream in it, it still tastes bitter and kind of harsh. Sure the cream is smooth, but the coffee taste itself reminds me of garbage, burnt gas station coffee. How can something cold brewed taste burnt? Freezer burn? In addition to that the use of erythritol/stevia as a sweetener leaves another off putting taste in the mix. I really wanted to like this because I’ve been at least moderately on board with their other products, but this just falls short for me.

Website
http://www.killcliff.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 7th, 2017
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Classic Cafe Bold Cold Coffee Salted Caramel

Classic Cafe Bold Cold Coffee Salted Caramel

Does anyone else get weirded out when a company has zero presence on the internet? If it weren’t for one distributor carrying this I would have had no choice but to believe that I was drinking ghost coffee. The supernatural is the only logical explanation when things don’t exist on the internet, correct?

We let me tell you, if this is what ghosts have to drink to get them moving for a long night of haunting, dying might not be that bad. I mean serious coffee drinkers may not agree, but those of us who share coffee tastes with children will be all about this. Even though it is most definitely not mocha I would liken this to the chocolate milk of coffee. The flavor of the coffee isn’t too overpowering, and it’s gota nice sweetness to it. It takes more like coffee flavored milk than an actual cup of coffee, but I guess that is what a latte is supposed to be. For me the best part of this is that the caramel isn’t too strong. That is one flavor that companies need to learn to be more reserved with. Everyone goes overboard with their caramel use and it’s just too much. In here it is just right.

If for some unknown reason you are trying to get your kids into drinking coffee, this would be a good gateway drug. I don’t know why you would want to do such a thing. Maybe you’re really into the idea of them sitting at dinners all night talking about nothing and drinking an obscene amount of caffeine in-between smoke breaks. Do kids still do that?

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2016
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Soylent Coffiest

Soylent Coffiest

Here I am sitting in my pod waiting for my morning rations to be distributed. Oh, here it is now. If you’re reading this, then you’re probably in the past. Sometime in the early 21st century I presume. You know how there’s a bunch of horrible things going on in the world, but there is also a bunch of really rad stuff as well? Well the rad things just aren’t enough and everything falls apart. There are wars, natural disasters and eventually civilization collapses. Small groups survive and meet up to form a new society. Since most of the food sources have been wiped out the scientists among us create these beverages to fill our dietary needs. It’s important to keep a sense of humor in these dire times, so they named the drinks Soylent, after the old Charlton Heston movie, you know before he went all gun crazy.

The normal rations taste like soy milk, which is to be expected, but in the mornings we get a bit of a treat and get the Coffiest version of them. It’s pretty much the same thing as the original, but with coffee added. It tastes like a nice soy latte. It’s hard to argue with it when it’s basically the only flavor we get these days. Along with that we get our nutrients as well as the same amount of caffeine that used to be found in a cup of coffee. Well, when you used to be able to find such a thing. At least it doesn’t taste like diet poison with the sucralose they use.

The future is a horrible place. Enjoy the world while you still have it. Eat all the fruits and vegetables you can find, because in the not too distant future all you’re going to taste is soy and coffee. Honestly it’s not that bad and it could easily be much worse.

Website
http://https://www.soylent.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Coffee, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 9th, 2016
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

What did I expect? This is just as bad as I thought it would be. It tastes like cheap, powdered cinnamon and fake sweetener. Whether or not it's authentic sugar, who cares? The best sugar couldn't save this drink. I don't think I finished the whole thing and I was tired and I got a small. It was a little coffee flavored but the syrup, my main complaint with Tim's is too thick and strange and throws off the viscosity of the rest of the drink. I want a cinnamon bun writing this and, like I said, I didn't expect much and I was still let down. Shame. Shame.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 8th, 2016
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Victor Allen Iced Latte Mocha

Victor Allen Iced Latte Mocha

I predict there will be a divide over this product, albeit with a narrow margin. People who love coffee will say, “It’s pretty meh. It doesn’t really like coffee.” People who are indifferent about coffee will say, “It’s decent enough. It doesn’t really taste like coffee.” At least everyone will agree on something.

This is more of an adult chocolate milk than it is an actually espresso drink. If I were handed a glass of this with no description I would assume it was some sort of weak malt drink. There probably sound like complaints, but I did enjoy the taste of this. In fact it is because it doesn’t have a strong coffee flavor that makes it a better drink. It is chocolate and sweet with a little something around the edges that makes it a little interesting.

Website
http://trilliantfood.com/victor-allen/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 4th, 2016
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Sunup Green Coffee

Sunup Green Coffee

This beverage leads me to ask the question, Why waste your time roasting coffee beans when you can just brew the green beans? As it turns out you’ll save time and it has a more palatable taste (according to my taste buds). You also get the same amount of caffeine plus some antioxidants.

If someone were to ask me to describe how this tastes I would immediately respond that it tastes like someone brewed a pot of coffee, dumped it down the drain, then somehow brewed some yerba mate tea in the same coffee maker without cleaning it out. After that they dumped a bunch of sugar in it. It has a very earthy taste (hence the yerba mate descriptor) and only vaguely tastes like the coffee flavor that comes to mind when you think about said beverage.

This is definitely something that tastes extremely weird and off the first time you try it. I quickly grew to enjoy it though. It’s an entirely different beast than your typical coffee, and I could see it turning off hardcore coffee fans who may see it as a bastardization of their holy beverage (coffee people are crazy, right?). On the other hand I could see it being something that those who don’t normally like coffee enjoy (oh look, that’s me).

Website
http://www.sunupgreencoffee.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Dried Cane Syrup
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 12th, 2016
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Vanilla

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Vanilla

This tastes like a candle and also tastes like it sucks. No stars. Wait...I can't do no stars? This website sucks almost as much as this drink. I said, "Could I have an iced coffee with vanilla, please?" and I think they misheard "vanilla" and thought I said candle wax. Three sips. There goes $2.16. Cripes. Grozz. Ugh. These are the sounds that I am audibly saying at work aloud as people try to work. "Try to work" is code for "fantasy football" so it sounds like everyone has a hearing impediment today.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2016
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Stok Cold Brew Iced Coffee Black

Stok Cold Brew Iced Coffee Black

Oh how I wish I had one of these now. No, not a 48 ounce bottle as that would be suicidal but the smaller, equally available 10 ounce bottle. Long nights, friends. Long nights. I know it would make me sick and dizzy but anything over this underslept feeling, which is garbage. I took a shot or two of this over the weekend, you know, just to get by, and it was nice. It was smooth, and although advertised as "not too sweet" it was definitely sweetened and possibly more than many people would like.

I don't have a preference as far as coffee goes, as you may well know, but sweet and usually with some sort of syrup is preferable. This met the criteria just fine. Lucky for me, there is a 48 ounce bottle with two shots missing at home waiting, for a girl like me (to come into my life).

Website
http://stokcoffee.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2016
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Chameleon Cold-Brew Mexican Coffee

Chameleon Cold-Brew Mexican Coffee

Things I’ve recently learned about myself include the fact that if you make a coffee drink “Mexican” I will probably love it. Generally that means adding cinnamon and chilies to it. I also think of it as having to do with chocolate since my first forays into it were with Mexican hot chocolate. This does not have chocolate. Actually it doesn’t have chilies either. That doesn’t stop it from being amazing though. What it does contain is high quality cold brewed coffee, cane sugar, vanilla, almond and cinnamon. The results are flat out fantastic. It’s one of the best coffee beverages I have ever tasted. Even with all of the added ingredients the coffee is still the main flavor, and it’s smooth and delicious. The other things are just icing on an already delicious cake. There is something about this that makes me think of a drink from when I was younger, but I can’t put my finger on what that drink is. I know it’s the cinnamon that’s pointing me in that direction though. While you could drink this at any point in the day, it would be perfect as a dessert beverage.

Website
http://www.chameleoncoldbrew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 11th, 2016
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