Coffee (213 reviews)

Sudden Coffee Fore!

Sudden Coffee Fore!

I want to be up front with you, I'm not a coffee connoisseur. I don't drink it all that often and I don't know what makes certain coffees great. I do know a terrible coffee when I taste it and I can happily announce that this does not fall in that category. I couldn't say if an avid coffee drinker would think this is wonderful, but I can assure you it is not horrible.

For the record, I drank this cold. The instructions say you can make it with either hot or cold water, but since I’m sweating just sitting here, I went with the cold. I’m not sure how that affects the flavor, but here is my experience.

This coffee is bitter (as all black coffee is), but it is in no way harsh. It lacks an acidity I have found in other coffees and that results in a certain smoothness to it. It’s not smooth to the extent cold brew is, but I doubt that level can be achieved with an instant coffee. It also has slight fruity undertones that give it a slight sweetness. This brew is a blend of two coffees (from Colombia’s Narino region and San Jose Poaquil). That means pretty much nothing to me, but I’m sure it’s important to some people. I don’t know a thing about different beans and different blends. Why am I writing this review, I am completely unknowledgeable about coffee? The answer is that Mike may know even less than I do, and we need to review everything. We have a problem. Perhaps an outsider’s view on this will be deemed helpful.

I expected this to taste like cold trash juice. I have only had instant coffee once and it was wretched. As it turns out I enjoyed this a decent amount. If it wasn’t for the fact that caffeine drives me bonkers I might even drink it on a semi regular basis. It certainly is convenient and from my brief history with coffee it tasted better than some actual brews I’ve had. I hope I did you well Sudden.

Website
http://www.suddencoffee.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 14th, 2017
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Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

This is what all coffee should taste like for me. The quest is over. I go to local (Buffalo) places and try iced mocha coffee from all of them and they're missing something or there's too much of something else. This, though, this is fantastic. It's lightly sweetened and relies on the honey to earn some of its keep. It's got a great chocolate taste but isn't too strong. I read that it has cream in it but it's not thick like it could be. It might be there just to smooth some of the taste out. It's really good. It's not terribly cheap at $3 per bottle and I actually don't know where I can get it in Buffalo, which is a good thing. I was in Erie, PA when I got this guy but I feel like it won't be long before I see them here. It's kind of impossible that this won't be successful in the "test market" that is Erie that it won't trickle out to the rest of the country. For all I know, the takeover could be happening right beneath my nose and I could walk outside and see everyone drinking it like some sponsored episode of the Twilight Zone. Eh, could be worse.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 2nd, 2017
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores

Where do I start with this...? It's not great. That's where I'll start. Before the similes and before the jokes, let's get to the marshmallow'y meat of this whole ordeal. It's not great. It tastes vaguely of marshmallow if you made a marshmallow with an array of chemicals...errrr...artificial sweeteners and then covered in more sugar. This time, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here, real sugar.

This has more of a coffee taste than many of the other iced coffee's I've have, which is a welcome change but the rest of it...I feel like I might need a tongue scraper. It's a very prominent, strong taste that I wish I couldn't taste anymore. I'm not saying it's terrible and I'm going to barf, but after sharing half of this and finishing a half of what I had left, I don't know how much s'more endurance I have left in me. That's not a pun. I don't do puns. I'm better than that.

If you're wondering, I can't taste any chocolate or graham cracker. Marshmallow and coffee and endless questionable sweeteners. This will surly bring a plague of unknown disease upon my poor, meat-filled body. I just won't know about it for another twenty years when the test results come back. Prognosis...negative.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 31st, 2017
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Starbucks Frappuccino Dark Chocolate Mocha

Starbucks Frappuccino Dark Chocolate Mocha

Ahhh Big Lots, where seasonal drinks go to die. Well at least until a year passes and they rise from the ashes of discount stores to achieve premium prices once again. Look, the chances of me spending $3+ for a 9.5oz bottle of iced coffee are very slim, even if it is delicious. The chances of me paying $.80 for them a few months after the holiday season that is depicted on the label? Let me grab a case or two and finish them within a week.

This is something else. I hesitate to even call it a coffee drink because it is so far buried under a delicious mountain of peppermint and chocolate that I wonder if it’s there at all. Do you know what the best decision they made about this drink was? To use dark chocolate. Do you know who prefers milk chocolate? Kids and those with weak taste buds. The same people who would put ketchup on eggs or mac and cheese. Those are the same people who probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee, no matter how much it’s hidden in a beverage. People with developed palates appreciate dark chocolate. These people also want to throw all of their fancy tastes out the window and enjoy a sugary nonsense treat and pretend they are kids again. That’s it, this drink is for adult children and I am proud to be part of those ranks.

For a second I wondered why they didn’t just change the label of this and make it available year round. Then I closed my eyes as I took a sip and all I could think about was Christmas and the winter. Like nog it is tied to the season. You can certainly enjoy it other times of year, but I challenge you to drink a bottle and not think of the holidays. It’s like someone made hot chocolate out of a nice dark chocolate(with a bit of coffee in it I suppose) and then melted candy canes in it before chilling it and somehow making it a bit frothy.

ps. This was my last bottle. I should have bought another case and a diabetes testing kit that I would have certainly needed. 33g of sugar in 9.5oz is a lot.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 30th, 2017
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Private Selection Irish Cream Cream Soda

Private Selection Irish Cream Cream Soda

I have never had an Irish Cream before. In fact I wasn’t quite sure what it was. I assumed it was some sort of creamy liquor that people put into coffee, hence the saying “Irish up your coffee.” Look at me putting the obvious dots together. Turns out I was correct. One thing I do know in the world of Irish Cream is Baileys and the reason I actually know anything about Baileys is the Old Greg sketch from Mighty Boosh. It’s the best thing the show ever created and it includes some fine art based on Baileys.

With all that said, this tastes pretty much how I would have expected it to. It’s a cream soda with the tiniest hint of coffee in it. It’s quite delicious and I’m enjoying it way more than I had anticipated. The coffee is there enough to make you notice it but it’s subtle enough so that it is still primarily a cream soda and not just a coffee pop.

Website
http://www.privateselection.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 27th, 2017
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RISE Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black

RISE Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black

Before I can say anything else about this product I have to acknowledge the fact that this is the second can I have drank and both of them made the craziest noises when I cracked them open. It was like I was opening a vault door to some sort of cryogenic chamber. Highly pressurized air came rushing forward and for a moment I was in a scene in a science fiction movie.

Cold brew has been making quite a splash over the past couple of years. Not only are local coffee shops serving it more regularly, but it seems like new companies are popping up every week to see you their ready to drink version. RISE only uses two ingredients in their cold brew, water and coffee beans (organic of course). The thing that makes them stands out in this sea(okay small lake, or maybe a pond?) of new companies is that they infuse it with nitrogen to make it creamy and smooth, which I will attest to, it is. To me this tastes like coffee grounds smelled when I was a kid. It was such a wonderful flavor, but then when I tried it brewed, the taste/scent never matched up. This would have made me a regular coffee drinker at an early age. Like most things that are good it is simple. That is where the power lies. The more garbage you add to a beverage the more you have to worry about things evening out. When it’s a two item process, there is so little that could go wrong, especially when you know how to do a proper brew as RISE does.

In our dystopian future where machines have taken over everything and the only hope humanities has lies in the fact that they can still make delicious coffee, RISE will be king. (that’s what we call a call back in the biz. People like when you explain things like that, right? )

Website
http://risebrewingco.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 24th, 2017
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Kill Cliff Cold Brew Coffee Mojo Rising

Kill Cliff Cold Brew Coffee Mojo Rising

This drink is an example of the type of coffee I do not like. Even though it is cold brewed and has coconut cream in it, it still tastes bitter and kind of harsh. Sure the cream is smooth, but the coffee taste itself reminds me of garbage, burnt gas station coffee. How can something cold brewed taste burnt? Freezer burn? In addition to that the use of erythritol/stevia as a sweetener leaves another off putting taste in the mix. I really wanted to like this because I’ve been at least moderately on board with their other products, but this just falls short for me.

Website
http://www.killcliff.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 7th, 2017
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Classic Cafe Bold Cold Coffee Salted Caramel

Classic Cafe Bold Cold Coffee Salted Caramel

Does anyone else get weirded out when a company has zero presence on the internet? If it weren’t for one distributor carrying this I would have had no choice but to believe that I was drinking ghost coffee. The supernatural is the only logical explanation when things don’t exist on the internet, correct?

We let me tell you, if this is what ghosts have to drink to get them moving for a long night of haunting, dying might not be that bad. I mean serious coffee drinkers may not agree, but those of us who share coffee tastes with children will be all about this. Even though it is most definitely not mocha I would liken this to the chocolate milk of coffee. The flavor of the coffee isn’t too overpowering, and it’s gota nice sweetness to it. It takes more like coffee flavored milk than an actual cup of coffee, but I guess that is what a latte is supposed to be. For me the best part of this is that the caramel isn’t too strong. That is one flavor that companies need to learn to be more reserved with. Everyone goes overboard with their caramel use and it’s just too much. In here it is just right.

If for some unknown reason you are trying to get your kids into drinking coffee, this would be a good gateway drug. I don’t know why you would want to do such a thing. Maybe you’re really into the idea of them sitting at dinners all night talking about nothing and drinking an obscene amount of caffeine in-between smoke breaks. Do kids still do that?

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2016
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Soylent Coffiest

Soylent Coffiest

Here I am sitting in my pod waiting for my morning rations to be distributed. Oh, here it is now. If you’re reading this, then you’re probably in the past. Sometime in the early 21st century I presume. You know how there’s a bunch of horrible things going on in the world, but there is also a bunch of really rad stuff as well? Well the rad things just aren’t enough and everything falls apart. There are wars, natural disasters and eventually civilization collapses. Small groups survive and meet up to form a new society. Since most of the food sources have been wiped out the scientists among us create these beverages to fill our dietary needs. It’s important to keep a sense of humor in these dire times, so they named the drinks Soylent, after the old Charlton Heston movie, you know before he went all gun crazy.

The normal rations taste like soy milk, which is to be expected, but in the mornings we get a bit of a treat and get the Coffiest version of them. It’s pretty much the same thing as the original, but with coffee added. It tastes like a nice soy latte. It’s hard to argue with it when it’s basically the only flavor we get these days. Along with that we get our nutrients as well as the same amount of caffeine that used to be found in a cup of coffee. Well, when you used to be able to find such a thing. At least it doesn’t taste like diet poison with the sucralose they use.

The future is a horrible place. Enjoy the world while you still have it. Eat all the fruits and vegetables you can find, because in the not too distant future all you’re going to taste is soy and coffee. Honestly it’s not that bad and it could easily be much worse.

Website
http://https://www.soylent.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Coffee, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 9th, 2016
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

What did I expect? This is just as bad as I thought it would be. It tastes like cheap, powdered cinnamon and fake sweetener. Whether or not it's authentic sugar, who cares? The best sugar couldn't save this drink. I don't think I finished the whole thing and I was tired and I got a small. It was a little coffee flavored but the syrup, my main complaint with Tim's is too thick and strange and throws off the viscosity of the rest of the drink. I want a cinnamon bun writing this and, like I said, I didn't expect much and I was still let down. Shame. Shame.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 8th, 2016
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