Coffee (217 reviews)

Cultivo Organic Cold Brew Coffee Half and Half

Cultivo Organic Cold Brew Coffee Half and Half

I’ve spent 38 years of my life thinking that I didn’t really like coffee. I didn’t hate it and I would drink it from time to time when I needed some caffeine. Hell, my high school years were spent sitting in diners for hours just downing overly sweetened and creamed endless cups of it, just because that was what my friends did back then. I had to add so much to it to make it so I could continue to drink it. It’s a miracle that I’m not insanely over weight. In the past couple of years I’ve realized that coffee isn’t all that bad if you’re drinking the right stuff. There are some great blends/roasts out there that can be downright tasty, but mostly I’m talking about cold brew. There is something special about cold brew that cuts the acidity and just makes it such a smooth drink. Also, coffee is so much better cold that hot to my taste buds.

While the carton here describes the true meaning of the name Cultivo, I will pretend that it is referring to the cult of coffee drinkers. You know the people out there who absolutely need their coffee to function, and for some I’m not even sure it’s due to the caffeine. People love coffee, and I think this product is here to indoctrinate new people into the cult by giving them smooth, delicious coffee to ease them in. This is exactly what the beverage is. It’s high quality coffee that is nice and creamy from the half & half (I can even forgive the use of real milk here, which normally disgusts me). It’s mildly sweet from the 9g of sugar in it, but they took care not to overdo it so that it is still mostly coffee and not a sugar drink.
It’s no shock here that this is a brand of Uncommon Coffee Roasters aka the best coffee I have ever drunk. They are a high quality company with ethics I can get behind. If only all companies had similar beliefs and practices while making such high quality products the world would be a much better (caffeinated) place.

Website
http://cultivo.coffee
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 day, 20 hours ago
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Gold Peak Coffee Drink Almond Toffee

Gold Peak Coffee Drink Almond Toffee

Woah. Talk about a dense drink. Have you ever considered a drink to be "dense." I feel that "thick" is boring. "Rich" is also quite used if you ask me. This drink is dense. Heavy. Dude who I let try it perfectly described it as a "non-dairy creamer." It's as if you were a college kid who had one for a split second, like you found $20 on the street and decided to shoot for the stars and buy some fancy coffee creamer, got home, realized that you should have spent it on coffee and have nothing to drink but the creamer itself.

I did add this to some cold brew coffee and it was good. This claims that it was "cold brew" and although I cannot argue as I wasn't in the room as this was being made, it kind of defeats the point when you are sacrilegiously adding almond and toffee juice to it. That's also coming from someone who can only drink coffee cold and with some form of chocolate or mocha flavoring like an idiot child. This is fine if you were a child but if you were a child you wouldn't like it because it's coffee and kids don't like coffee so who is this for? This is for people that add twelve sugars to their coffees as barely functioning adults.

Website
http://www.goldpeaktea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 3 weeks, 6 days ago
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Upruit Sparkling Coffee Mint Grapefruit

Upruit Sparkling Coffee Mint Grapefruit

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, where do I even begin with this beverage? Is it wonderful? It is horrendous? Even though base logic show us that one thing cannot be both, this somehow is. This beverage defies logic, and perhaps other sciences. One thing that I can say for certain about this is that it is intriguing and unlike anything I have ever encountered before.

When I came across this in a Brooklyn deli, I grabbed it without a thought and put my money on the counter for it and a delicious jerk sandwich. It wasn’t until I got a couple of blocks away that I realized that what I bought actually sounded terrible. Sparkling coffee is something that can be acceptable when it is done right, so more than likely no problem there. I can totally see mint in coffee. Actually it sounds like it would be delicious and it’s probably something that exists in most coffee shops. So far, so good. Then we get to the grapefruit and everything gets thrown out the window. Grapefruit and coffee sounds like one of the strangest combinations I could think of, and it very much is in reality. It’s unlike anything I have ever tasted before. The grapefruit isn’t subtle. It’s right out in the front. I would say this is 42% coffee, 42% grapefruit, and 6% mint. It’s a wild ride in your mouth, and my taste buds are very confused. So much citrus and bitter coffee; I think I may be short circuiting.

With each sip, I hate it, yet a few seconds later I find myself taking another drink. By the end of this I think I may truly love it. I hate myself for it, but it’s kind of fantastic in the worst possible way. It’s like an ex that you know is bad for you and who you never feel good about hanging out with afterwards, but somehow in the moment things work and nothing else matters. This drink may be the best bad decision you ever make that will have zero consequences. I need to try the other flavors. Good thing Mike and I are going back to NYC in a few weeks.

Website
http://https://drinkupruit.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Categories
Coffee, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 12th, 2017
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Archer Farms Cold Brew Cinnamon

Archer Farms Cold Brew Cinnamon

Fall is upon us. What does that mean? Cinnamon. Ahh, cinnamon. Natures...cinnamon. I bought this because it was A: Cheap and B: Had a great selling line on the side which I will put here:

This creamy and sweet cinnamon cold brew coffee is big on taste with a warm, velvety texture.

So's I buy it, bring it in to work and have two dudes try it and the consensus is as follows: It's bad. Not even OK. It's not good. It tastes like someone made a passable cold brew and then dumped too much ground cinnamon in it, said to themselves, "Welp, no turning back now." put in one more pinch, and bottled it up.

The coffee is fine. I don't drink too much and what I do drink is cold brew and typically has some sort of disgusting chemical chocolate taste to it so I'm not one to judge but this coffee was light at best. The cinnamon was a ground cinnamon and not a candy cinnamon. After tasting it, though, I don't know which I would have preferred. Thumbs down, Archer Farms/Target. There's more to fall than cinnamon. There's more to you than bad cold brew. I feel like I just masochistically did "the cinnamon challenge" to myself. I feel like a moron.

Website
http://sites.target.com/site/en/supertarget/page.jsp?title=brands&brand=archerFarms
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2017
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Sudden Coffee Fore!

Sudden Coffee Fore!

I want to be up front with you, I'm not a coffee connoisseur. I don't drink it all that often and I don't know what makes certain coffees great. I do know a terrible coffee when I taste it and I can happily announce that this does not fall in that category. I couldn't say if an avid coffee drinker would think this is wonderful, but I can assure you it is not horrible.

For the record, I drank this cold. The instructions say you can make it with either hot or cold water, but since I’m sweating just sitting here, I went with the cold. I’m not sure how that affects the flavor, but here is my experience.

This coffee is bitter (as all black coffee is), but it is in no way harsh. It lacks an acidity I have found in other coffees and that results in a certain smoothness to it. It’s not smooth to the extent cold brew is, but I doubt that level can be achieved with an instant coffee. It also has slight fruity undertones that give it a slight sweetness. This brew is a blend of two coffees (from Colombia’s Narino region and San Jose Poaquil). That means pretty much nothing to me, but I’m sure it’s important to some people. I don’t know a thing about different beans and different blends. Why am I writing this review, I am completely unknowledgeable about coffee? The answer is that Mike may know even less than I do, and we need to review everything. We have a problem. Perhaps an outsider’s view on this will be deemed helpful.

I expected this to taste like cold trash juice. I have only had instant coffee once and it was wretched. As it turns out I enjoyed this a decent amount. If it wasn’t for the fact that caffeine drives me bonkers I might even drink it on a semi regular basis. It certainly is convenient and from my brief history with coffee it tasted better than some actual brews I’ve had. I hope I did you well Sudden.

Website
http://www.suddencoffee.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 14th, 2017
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Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

This is what all coffee should taste like for me. The quest is over. I go to local (Buffalo) places and try iced mocha coffee from all of them and they're missing something or there's too much of something else. This, though, this is fantastic. It's lightly sweetened and relies on the honey to earn some of its keep. It's got a great chocolate taste but isn't too strong. I read that it has cream in it but it's not thick like it could be. It might be there just to smooth some of the taste out. It's really good. It's not terribly cheap at $3 per bottle and I actually don't know where I can get it in Buffalo, which is a good thing. I was in Erie, PA when I got this guy but I feel like it won't be long before I see them here. It's kind of impossible that this won't be successful in the "test market" that is Erie that it won't trickle out to the rest of the country. For all I know, the takeover could be happening right beneath my nose and I could walk outside and see everyone drinking it like some sponsored episode of the Twilight Zone. Eh, could be worse.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 2nd, 2017
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores

Where do I start with this...? It's not great. That's where I'll start. Before the similes and before the jokes, let's get to the marshmallow'y meat of this whole ordeal. It's not great. It tastes vaguely of marshmallow if you made a marshmallow with an array of chemicals...errrr...artificial sweeteners and then covered in more sugar. This time, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here, real sugar.

This has more of a coffee taste than many of the other iced coffee's I've have, which is a welcome change but the rest of it...I feel like I might need a tongue scraper. It's a very prominent, strong taste that I wish I couldn't taste anymore. I'm not saying it's terrible and I'm going to barf, but after sharing half of this and finishing a half of what I had left, I don't know how much s'more endurance I have left in me. That's not a pun. I don't do puns. I'm better than that.

If you're wondering, I can't taste any chocolate or graham cracker. Marshmallow and coffee and endless questionable sweeteners. This will surly bring a plague of unknown disease upon my poor, meat-filled body. I just won't know about it for another twenty years when the test results come back. Prognosis...negative.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 31st, 2017
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Starbucks Frappuccino Dark Chocolate Mocha

Starbucks Frappuccino Dark Chocolate Mocha

Ahhh Big Lots, where seasonal drinks go to die. Well at least until a year passes and they rise from the ashes of discount stores to achieve premium prices once again. Look, the chances of me spending $3+ for a 9.5oz bottle of iced coffee are very slim, even if it is delicious. The chances of me paying $.80 for them a few months after the holiday season that is depicted on the label? Let me grab a case or two and finish them within a week.

This is something else. I hesitate to even call it a coffee drink because it is so far buried under a delicious mountain of peppermint and chocolate that I wonder if it’s there at all. Do you know what the best decision they made about this drink was? To use dark chocolate. Do you know who prefers milk chocolate? Kids and those with weak taste buds. The same people who would put ketchup on eggs or mac and cheese. Those are the same people who probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee, no matter how much it’s hidden in a beverage. People with developed palates appreciate dark chocolate. These people also want to throw all of their fancy tastes out the window and enjoy a sugary nonsense treat and pretend they are kids again. That’s it, this drink is for adult children and I am proud to be part of those ranks.

For a second I wondered why they didn’t just change the label of this and make it available year round. Then I closed my eyes as I took a sip and all I could think about was Christmas and the winter. Like nog it is tied to the season. You can certainly enjoy it other times of year, but I challenge you to drink a bottle and not think of the holidays. It’s like someone made hot chocolate out of a nice dark chocolate(with a bit of coffee in it I suppose) and then melted candy canes in it before chilling it and somehow making it a bit frothy.

ps. This was my last bottle. I should have bought another case and a diabetes testing kit that I would have certainly needed. 33g of sugar in 9.5oz is a lot.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 30th, 2017
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Private Selection Irish Cream Cream Soda

Private Selection Irish Cream Cream Soda

I have never had an Irish Cream before. In fact I wasn’t quite sure what it was. I assumed it was some sort of creamy liquor that people put into coffee, hence the saying “Irish up your coffee.” Look at me putting the obvious dots together. Turns out I was correct. One thing I do know in the world of Irish Cream is Baileys and the reason I actually know anything about Baileys is the Old Greg sketch from Mighty Boosh. It’s the best thing the show ever created and it includes some fine art based on Baileys.

With all that said, this tastes pretty much how I would have expected it to. It’s a cream soda with the tiniest hint of coffee in it. It’s quite delicious and I’m enjoying it way more than I had anticipated. The coffee is there enough to make you notice it but it’s subtle enough so that it is still primarily a cream soda and not just a coffee pop.

Website
http://www.privateselection.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 27th, 2017
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RISE Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black

RISE Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black

Before I can say anything else about this product I have to acknowledge the fact that this is the second can I have drank and both of them made the craziest noises when I cracked them open. It was like I was opening a vault door to some sort of cryogenic chamber. Highly pressurized air came rushing forward and for a moment I was in a scene in a science fiction movie.

Cold brew has been making quite a splash over the past couple of years. Not only are local coffee shops serving it more regularly, but it seems like new companies are popping up every week to see you their ready to drink version. RISE only uses two ingredients in their cold brew, water and coffee beans (organic of course). The thing that makes them stands out in this sea(okay small lake, or maybe a pond?) of new companies is that they infuse it with nitrogen to make it creamy and smooth, which I will attest to, it is. To me this tastes like coffee grounds smelled when I was a kid. It was such a wonderful flavor, but then when I tried it brewed, the taste/scent never matched up. This would have made me a regular coffee drinker at an early age. Like most things that are good it is simple. That is where the power lies. The more garbage you add to a beverage the more you have to worry about things evening out. When it’s a two item process, there is so little that could go wrong, especially when you know how to do a proper brew as RISE does.

In our dystopian future where machines have taken over everything and the only hope humanities has lies in the fact that they can still make delicious coffee, RISE will be king. (that’s what we call a call back in the biz. People like when you explain things like that, right? )

Website
http://risebrewingco.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 24th, 2017
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