Elixir (18 reviews)
Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir Jade Green Tea
It's crazy how much my taste buds have changed and evolved since starting this website. It used to be that drinking anything tasting even remotely floral was like getting shot in the mouth with a perfume gun. My tastes have become more refined and now it's a flavor that I enjoy, well when it's not overly strong.
This tastes like a sweet lightly floral green tea. It also has a fairly prominent honey flavor to it. Truth be told it's a little sweeter than I would like it to be, but for most people it's probably just right. I'm on a big unsweetened green tea kick myself. It doesn't have that bitter "kick" of straight up green tea, but again I think that is what turns a lot of people off to that style of tea. The more I drink of the bottle the less floral it tastes and the more honey I get, Yes, I did shake it up before I opened it.
- Website
- http://www.adinaworld.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/17/2011
Celsius Sparkling Orange
A couple of friends and I were planning on riding to Niagara Falls on our bikes today. It was close to, if not over, 90 degrees out but we figured we'd be riding next to the river the whole time, so it should be cooler. It was, but it was still pretty hot. Before we left I downed this can of Celsius. I definitely enjoy their sparkling drinks over their teas. They both taste so overly diet (they are weight loss drinks what so I don't expect otherwise) but the bubbles mask it a bit. This tasted like a really cheap diet orange soda that you would find at Aldi or some such discount grocery store. It wasn't the greatest, but for what it is and what it does I can't really expect a gem. I definitely felt an energy burst from it, and I will assume it helped burn calories. So I downed the can pretty fast, let out a humungous burp and hit the pedals.
We made it about halfway through Wheatfield when we decided to stop at a gas station and refill our water bottles. We were sitting outside sipping on some crisp cold water when suddenly my front tire let out all its air. It was loud and it was fast. The bike was laying on the ground for about ten minutes without being touched for ten minutes before it happened. I blame the sun. I really think it got to hot and burst. Stupid sun, you're just fighting dirty because I put on SPF 85 sunscreen!
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Elixir, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/17/2011
Self Beauty Elixer Tropical Bliss
Hey Paul, are you really entering that beauty contest? I mean that's a joke right? You look like a gorilla somehow mated with an eel. Your parents are fairly good looking, how did you end up so weird looking? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to make sure you didn't completely embarrass yourself out on that stage. Sure you have a great act for the skill section. I don't know anyone else who can balance all of their body weight on their nose while singing Cher songs like you can. What is that, your secret weapon? I don't think it's really going to work, but if you want to give it a try, it's all you.
Wow! You pounded that can and now you look like a young Steve Guttenberg. I don't know if it's enough to win, but it's a definite improvement and you won't get laughed off of stage. Do you have another? Hmm this tastes like a light tropical fruit punch. It's got sucralose in it, but it's one of the better tasting diet drinks I've ever had. What's that? I don't look any different? Well is that really a shocker? I mean did you really think I could look any better? I'm pretty much Oscar Wilde's dream come to life.
- Website
- http://www.selfbeautyelixir.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/10/2011
Prometheus Springs Spiced Elixir Mango Chili
Prometheus Springs really has a niche and rule at it. Aside from ginger beer, no one dares compare to the heat that Mr. Springs brings to the table. They're pros and they know it. They've got the gall to burn people's mouths and have them crawling back for more.
I enjoy giving their drinks to unsuspecting people and having them take a normal chug just to watch their faces. I giggle when they look as if they just unknowingly ate rat poison or got shot, unsuspectingly, in the chest. Sometimes it's hard to get them to try it again with a sip rather than a chug strategy.
This new line is tamer, I feel, than their previous line. It's way more approachable and I think they toned it down a titch. I find this new line more drinkable from beginning to end a lot easier. I haven't seen it on the shelves yet, but as soon as it does, you've got yourself a little sweet and spicy treat. The flavor is great, too. A real good, smooth mango taste and it's just sweet enough that you could probably grab another if you wanted. If you didn't know, you would have no idea that it's going to take your throat for a vicious trip down a lemon juice rain, razor blade hallway. I all of a sudden want to draw what that looks like. Could someone create a flash game where you have to walk through a razor blade hallway with lemon juice raining down through the sprinkler system? If you make it to the end, you win. You lose by incurring a certain amount of pain. When your pain bar reaches full, you have to go to a fat nurse like the one you had in your high school, and she's got a terribly short skirt and you think you can see "it" but you can't be sure.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/3/2011
Prometheus Springs Citrus Cayenne
Well, well, well. What do we have here, a (semi) quenching drink from Prometheus Springs? Half of your mouth will love you. What is it about Gatorade that makes it so you can chug like 15 gallons before you need to breathe? Seriously, nothing goes down smoother than Gatorade and I don't know why. Don't give those electrolytes any more credit than they deserve. Man, I want a hot dog. So, look. I'm from Buffalo. We three Thirsty Dudes all are and soon we will be together again. I can speak from certainty when I say that I probably go through a gallon of Franks Hot Sauce annually. That's a lot. It might be more, I don't know. It's hard to be sure. Anyhow, once I heard that Prometheus Springs was releasing a cayenne pepper flavored drink, I knew I had to do it.
So I did it, and I was surprised. When I took my first sip, I was surprised at how "drinkable" it was. It was a really good orange taste. I don't know why they didn't call it "orange cayenne". I didn't get lemon or lime, but a lot of orange and it was good, truthful orange, like a mandarin orange or something. The orange flavor was easily drinkable, like Gatorade, hence my previous mentioning of said company. As anyone who has had a Prometheus drink before chugging is not only stupid, it is also dangerous. As expected, with any Prometheus Springs drink, there's going to be a burn somewhere along the lines, and at about 2 seconds it kicks in and you're hit with the pepper juice.
It's a great contrast and I would drink it again and again. It is not reminiscent of Franks Hot Sauce, but it may have been a bit gross if it was. I gave a sip to my girlfriend and told her to take a sip. She did, it burned her, she yelled at me, I called her a wimp, and we went to bed. That means it's a good drink and I'm a terrible boyfriend. The latter you already should know.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Elixir
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/27/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Prometheus Springs Spiced Elixir Spicy Pear
I'm backup up on drinks to review. Seriously backed up, like over 100 drinks sitting in my fridge/back hall waiting to be tasted and sub-sequentially have prose written about it. It's getting to the point where it's overwhelming. Even though I have enough drinks to last me for a couple of months, when a package from Prometheus Springs arrived on my front porch I let out a squeaky noise of pure excitement. I tore apart the packaging and this drink shot to the number one spot on my "to drink" queue.
My friend Pat Bolger stopped by to work on artwork for his band's 7". He is one of the most wonderfully insane/brilliant pieces of human meat I have ever come across. Life is always interesting when he is around. Today was his birthday (also the date of the end of the world according to Terminator legend). To celebrate I decided to share this beverage with him.
At first smell it smells like pear juice, but as you pull it away a burning sensation fills your nostrils. I have a problem in that whenever I first try a new drink I take a huge sip. I thought I was fine. It had a mild pear taste while it was in my mouth. I'm not the world's biggest pear supporter (I feel like they are apples with genetic problems), but it's a quick flavor in this drink. It doesn't linger around long and I can enjoy that. The issue was that as it started flowing down my throat the burning started. It's not as strong as the older flavors I had tried from this company, but it definitely burns. I passed it off to Pat, and although he knew it would have a kick I don't think he was prepared for its fury. His face was pretty priceless, and he said he thought it was eating a hole in his stomach. He couldn't get down more than one sip.
The burn from the capsaicin in this is something that can be quite a shock if you're not ready for it. When I first tried Prometheus Springs drinks I thought of it more of a novelty and wasn't a big fan. The more I drink them the more I appreciate it. I now look forward to the burn. It's not a drink that you can chug down, but if you slowly sip it over a few hours it can be really enjoyable.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Elixir
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/21/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Cell-nique Super Green Drink Citrus Vanilla
What a relief. After the dark chocolate debacle from a few weeks ago, I was anxious to find some redeeming product from Cell-Nique. This did it. Not a hard competition to have something better than "the worst" rating you can get but all the same, this isn't bad.
Let it be known, that this is probably a health food drink over a standard juice or whatever. It's sludgy, gritty, bold, and flavorful. It's pretty good, though. It's like an orange juice with vanilla in it, for some reason, and then some jerk threw a handful of (edible) sand in it. Cell-nique claims that it's like "A farmer's market in every bottle" and I might give it to him. I really feel like this is good for you and the thickness and color don’t convince me otherwise.
This drink makes me happier to try the other flavors we have in stock. I'm finding it kind of fun and strange simultaneously to not have anything in my mouth, take a drink, swallow, and be left picking stuff out of my teeth with my tongue. It's an experience, I can tell you that much.
- Website
- http://www.cell-nique.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Elixir, Juice, Other/Weird, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/11/2011
Cell-nique Super Green Drink Dark Chocolate
Mike and I have had our collective eye on the Cell-nique drinks for months. We would see it in the store every time we went. More often than not we would pick it up and look at the bottom of the bottle. There is so much sludge there. It was equally enticing and disturbing. The $4 price tag deterred us for a long time, but I finally gave in this week. I wish that I had put it off even longer.
Let's start with the fact that this has the longest list of ingredients that I have ever seen on a drink. There are 36 different ingredients. Sheer insanity. There is so much crazy stuff in here that I never in a million years would have expected to drink. Also, everything says "Organic" before it. I hate when companies do that. It's such overkill. This is pretty much supposed to be the healthiest thing you can ever drink. By default that means that it's going to be one gag shy of a trip to Pukeland, USA.
Here is my thought process starting with smelling it:
-Wow this doesn't smell nearly as bad as I expected. It has a general cocoa smell, with some undertones of weirdness. This might not be nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Oh wow it would rule if this actually tasted good for how healthy it is for you.
*Bottles Up*
-Okay that tastes like a strangely fruity dark chocolate bar. It’s not the greatest thing ever, but not that bad. I also expected this to have little chunks of grain (Quinona) in it.
*.2 seconds later*
Oh sweet Jesus what the hell is that flavor. It's like someone took every single thing that was in a fridge and put it all into a blender. It's a complete assault on the taste buds. There is absolutely nothing good about this flavor. Show me someone who enjoys this and I will show you someone who is either a liar or someone that was tragically born without taste buds.
*Again .2 seconds later*
Okay now it tastes like I just ate a spoonful of black licorice and hot chocolate mix, but the taste of liquid hell is still lingering in the background. Oh man this flavor just will not leave my mouth. I may have to cut out my tongue if this doesn't go away. I'm going to try and wash it down with something else.
*Hands bottle to Mike, goes into the kitchen and downs a tasty fluid*
Mike wanted to add that it tasted like he was eating a campfire somewhere in the middle of the flavor spectrum. I can't comprehend how disgusting this is. It's now a few hours after my initial tasting and I still have the memory of the flavor on my tongue. I've eaten several things since then as well.
Mike said that I should give this a two. Things this healthy don't have a chance in the flavor department. Sometimes you have to deal with something purely disgusting for the sake of health. This is so disgusting that the only way I could give it a two was if it gave me supernatural powers. I'm still normal me, so it's getting the loneliest of all numbers.
- Website
- http://www.cell-nique.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Elixir, Juice, Other/Weird, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/24/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir Peach Amalaki
God I hate that tribal monkey. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it just rubs me the wrong way. It's unfortunate because I really like their drinks. I also appreciate the shape of the bottle.
Monkey aside, the tea in this really stands out more than in their other elixirs. It has that unmistakable green tea flavor. It also has a very clear peach aftertaste. I had never heard of amalaki before this, so I did some research. It turns out it's another name for Indian gooseberry, and it has been used to fight a mess of diseases. It's supposed to have a bitter taste, so it works well with the green tea.
I can only hope that monkey design is based off of a real monkey that hangs out in their head offices. I bet they got him to fetch them drinks and do their work for them. Too bad this primate has self-esteem and he's nobody’s monkey-slave. I hear he's gunning for vice president next quarter.
- Website
- http://www.adinaworld.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/17/2011
Tazo Lemon Ginger
Ginger drinks can be an iffy game. Sometimes they are super strong with a crazy burn (okay I really like drinks like that), and sometimes they can be really weak. Having just a hint of ginger is something is pretty gross. It always tastes like you didn't properly rinse a cup before reusing it. Tazo found a pretty amazing middle ground. It has a strong ginger taste, but with only the slightest of burns. It's an "every man" ginger drink. The lemon also isn't overpowering. It's the kind of drink that makes you feel like it's great for you, but it still breaks some rules of physics by tasting good. I didn't realize Tazo made drinks other than tea, but I'm glad they do, because they are onto something here.
- Website
- http://www.tazo.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/15/2011
