Juice (404 reviews)
La Cena Nectar Strawberry Guava
Every time I looked at this bottle on my shelf I mistook the guava on the label as a banana. As we’ve covered before bananas are gross. They are actually the only fruit I can’t hang with. Guava on the other hand is one of my favorites. If this were strawberry banana it would have been hard for me to get one sip down. Luckily that’s not the case and I am sitting here wishing that the bottle were bigger. It is pure guava and strawberry juice mixed together with a little water and sugar. Honestly had they not added the sugar this would have gotten a five-bottle review, but I’ll take what I can get. It’s sweet, fruity and oh so tasty.
- Country
- Egypt
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 13 hours, 29 minutes ago
GMP Asparagus Juice
Derek’s daddy brought this back with him from Korea. It’s been sitting in my fridge for months, waiting for the perfect time to review it. Apparently the perfect time was never going to arrive so I grabbed it on my way out the door to a Thirsty Dudes meet up yesterday. I mean is there ever a perfect time to down a can of asparagus juice? Maybe at a family holiday party, but in my world the real stuff is there, so I don’t need juice.
At Mike’s house we all laughed at the comically out of proportion can on the label. The woman looks so excited to be hanging out on the beach with an obscene amount of asparagus juice. Maybe that’s where I went wrong. Perhaps this drink was solely for enjoyment at the beach. You can’t argue with that smile. Once our laughter subsided I positioned myself over the sink as I was 90% sure I was going to instantly spit it back out. I cracked open the can and took a sniff. I really had expected this to smell like your pee after you eat a bunch of asparagus. I understand that is completely revolting, but that’s how my brain works. Instead of weird pee the liquid in the can smelled like metallic soup. More specifically like spicy vegetable soup that was stored in old tin cans that some kid unearthed while digging in his back yard looking for dinosaur bones. I took as sip and surprisingly was able to swallow. It tasted exactly like it smelled. It was better than I expected, but not as good as I secretly hoped. It tastes absolutely nothing like asparagus, just weird old soup. Imagine if this tasted exactly like a nice lightly salty asparagus that had been sautéed in an obscene amount of garlic. That would be delicious. Instead I get old soup, and no one wants to drink that. Everyone had a sip or two and then the rest went down the drain, where it belongs.
- Country
- Korea
- Sweetener
- Couldn't Read Ingredients
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 days, 16 hours ago
Typhoon Enterprise Company Ltd Hawthorn Berry
Plums = Prunes. Like the Alamo, never forget. Also never forget that in the East, their prunes are smoked or something because everything plum/prune flavored tastes like you are eating their Western equivalent at a bonfire. Smokes. It's like chipotle fruit. Now allow me to read the ingredients to this drink because it should be the best drink I've ever had:
Water. Sugar. Hawthorn berry. Plum. Hibiscus flower. Licorice.
Could this drink sound any better? I mean, I don't know what hawthorn berry tastes like, but it's a berry. I get it. The plum/prune, I can say with most certainty, ruined this drink. I cannot taste anything but that. I love hibiscus drinks and love licorice and those are non-existent and that blows. It smells and to a lesser extent tastes like fruity beef jerky. Man. Editor Dan, the bequeather of this drink, was right. It sucks and should be better. If I could dissect this drink, I would do it in a heartbeat. Take all the plum/prune DNA out of it, add some water to put it back together, drink it again and love it.
Drats. This sucked.
- Country
- Taiwan
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 5 days, 12 hours ago
Sandora Pomegranate
Grapes? Buddy. Friend. Grapes? What did I ask you to make for us? What did I ask you to make for Sandora? Pomegranate juice. That's right. What did you give me? Pomegranate-grape juice. Oh, it's good, but it's not what I asked for. I understand that pomegranates are expensive. I understand that pomegranate arils are not easy to get out. I understand it's a messy job. I don't care. Money was put aside and the money we are charging for this juice should have covered the production costs.
Now look. I understand that you didn't want the company to go under and for that I say "thank you," but if I asked for a blend, I would have asked you for a blend. I love grapes. I love red grapes and I love green grapes. Together would make a tremendous juice that I would love to drink with my toast and eggs in the morning. Honestly, buddy, the drink you have created is excellent, too. It's clearly got pomegranate juice in it. It tastes like pomegranates and is tart like a pomegranate should be, but then there are the cut corners you like to call "money saving." I can taste the grape juice in here. I like it. I will continue to sell it, but I want you to know that we can no longer sell the pomegranate juice that I wanted because we are making the "pomegranate" juice you thought I wanted.
You are not fired, but I am going to have to be very descriptive when it comes to the next juice I want. Next time, only put in the fruits that I ask for. If I ask for a grapefruit juice, I had better not see pears or apples in the same room or you will be fired. That is all. Good day to you. We appreciate your hard work and dedication to Sandora.
- Website
- http://sandora.ua
- Country
- Ukraine
- Sweetener
- Sugar Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 1 week, 1 day ago
Mamma Chia Organic Cranberry Lemonade
What else is there to say about Mamma Chia drinks that we haven’t said before? They are certainly unique. They are also very tasty. They start with a wonderful tasting juice (cranberry and lemonade in this case) and then fill the bottle with the insanity that is chia seeds. The hard seeds are coated in a slimy substance that helps them go down very smooth. They are slimy, but not in a gross way. It adds more of a thickness to the consistency of the drink. It makes drinking fun. And there are health benefits to it.
The flavor of this is strong, but not overbearing. It tastes like mild lemonade with a mild cranberry flavoring. I say mild only because it’s neither tart nor bitter like both of the fruits are in their normal form. There is nothing mild about the taste.
- Website
- http://www.mammachia.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Agave
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice, Lemonade, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 week, 1 day ago
R.W. Knudsen Simply Nutritious Lemon Ginger Echinacea
Jason was ecstatic. It was nearly February and he had yet to get sick this winter. For years the cold weather was basically a death sentence for any sort of social life. Every year like clockwork the cold and dry weather would creep into his world and he would never want to leave his house. For some unknown reason lesions used to form all over the inside of his throat. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with him. It was misdiagnosed as mono and tonsillitis. They would prescribe him antibiotics and in a week or so the lesions were gone. The thing is they would return again before the end of winter. Not having health insurance sure put a hinder on his recovery and wallet. Then one doctor recommended sleeping with a humidifier on. Three years passed with only one throat outbreak, but a normal sickness was ever present. He learned to deal with it and tried his best to live a normal life. This year was different though. He hadn’t felt sick at all. He was so happy that he announced it one day with pride. As always when someone does something stupid like announce their health to a room of people, Jason woke up the next morning with a strange feeling in his throat/head. It wasn’t a full-blown cold but something was definitely brewing.
Jason went to the store to purchase some juice to make sure his sickness didn’t progress. Orange juice with extra pulp was always a standby, but to keep his streak going strong Jason was going to need something stronger. He went to the “fancy” juice aisle, where bottles cost upwards of $10. Perusing the shelves it was a no-brainer as soon as he saw this. It felt like he had found the Holy Grail of health. With a combination of ginger and Echinacea it was virtually unstoppable in the war against winter sickness. The base of this juice is basically honey-sweetened lemonade. Added to that is a vague Echinacea flavor. There is only a hint of it present. It is all rounded out with a nice ginger burn. It’s not overpowering like some ginger beers, but it’s there enough to let you know that it is prepared to go to war with any virus’ in your system. Over the day Jason downed the entire bottle and by the next morning he felt perfectly fine. Jason :1. Sickness: 0.
- Website
- http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Honey
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 week, 2 days ago
Eldorado Vitamin Charged Natural Spring Water Dragonfruit
You know there are dragons in that water. It's true. In Colorado there are dragons that only come out at night, like in the Smashing Pumpkins song, that swim around in the water. Didn't you ever wonder why there was a "No swimming past sunset" rule statewide? Yeah, that'd be because of the dragons. Thing is, they are messy characters. It's alright though because when they shed their scales, they fall in the water, degrade, and are made of like a sweet, fruity powder. They all flow downstream to the bottling plant where we make this "dragonfruit" drink. It's a really clean process. Sure, poop gets in the mix, but that's what filters are for. It's like a saltwater fish tank. We've got mediums that the poop and dragon hair and cans and garbage goes through so that we are left with the cleanest, purest flavored water.
What do you mean you don't believe me?! Come over here and look at this footage. Tell me that's not a dragon playing with a beach ball in the lake. You can't do it. It's mesmerizing, I know. I had never seen anything like it until I came here. They don't like people and do, even though it's a stereotype, breathe fire. They will breathe fire right on you and you will die. It's no joke and happens all the time. Our filters find people all the time. Parts. Legs and stuff. They think they're so smart with their scientific equipment coming in trying to get them for zoos and stuff. Dragons win all the time.
This drink is a rarity that can't come from anywhere but here, and it's great. There are other dragonfruit drinks but they aren't as authentic as this. This drink is light, sweet, fruity, and very quenching. Colorado's finest. Plus, we've chocked it full of vitamins, antioxidants, and more so that it's even better than regular juice or Vitamin Water. Now that you know that you shouldn't mess around in the water at night, enjoy your stay in Colorado.
- Website
- http://eldoradosprings.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 1 week, 4 days ago
- Comments
- 3 Comments. Leave a comment.
Snapple 100% Juiced Green Apple
I like green apples better than red apples. I think it's a matter of crispness and crunch. Red apples just don't have the same pizzazz to me as green apples. I just saw an apple on the can and assumed that it was apple juice. Just regular old apple juice. Nothing special. Apple juice. You know, apples go great with cinnamon and honey. I think it's a Jewish delicacy. I seem to remember wearing nice clothes eating bread and apples and cinnamon and honey. Wouldn't you love to be able to drink an apple and cinnamon juice sweetened with honey? Oh. I'm so excited. I hope this exists.
I was pleasantly surprised that this was green apple, which I didn't know until my first sip. Thing is, initial sips lead me to a delicious, green apple-dom. Aftertaste is a bit bitter and I am on the fence if I like it or not. For all I know, this could be the exact same sensation that happens when I eat a real green apple but without the chewing and the apple skin and the whole experience, I might miss the strange aftertaste that Snapple is telling me belongs there.
This is a nice way to kick off a week. It's different, it's juice, and it might actually be good for you. I look forward to finding more of these 100% Juiced drinks somewhere.
- Website
- http://www.snapple.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 2 weeks ago
Sonrisa Nectar Peach
I’ve drunk a lot of peach juices and nectars in my day. For a while I was obsessed with Looza peach nectar. Then I got sick of paying $5 for a bottle of it, and switched over to the Goya version. It wasn’t quite as good, but it still got the job done. Throughout the history of Thirsty Dudes I seem to always end up with the peach flavored drinks, and I’m not complaining.
The Sonrisa peach nectar is not as thick as the previously mentioned brands, but it’s nothing to scoff at. Sure it has HFCS in it as a sweetener, but it comes after the juice on the ingredients list. That is saying something in this day and age. It’s very sweet, a little sweeter than I prefer, but the peach taste makes up for it. Anyone who has downed more than a couple of whole peaches in their life can tell you that different parts of the peach have different flavors. Sonrisa concentrated on the “flesh” of the peach that comes in contact with the pit. In an actual peach that area is a bit tougher, with some rough spots, but the flavor is very specific. If there wasn’t a sweetener added to this I think the taste would be dead on. Adding the sweetener just made it more enjoyable.
- Website
- http://www.jugosonrisa.com/
- Country
- Mexico
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 1 day ago
Monster Energy + Juice Mixxd
You're fading fast. You've had a long day at the office. You know, "the grind", and it's time you let loose. Take that tie off and put it around your head because nothing says "loose" like a tie on your head. Your boss rides you really hard but he's not here. You just relax; there aren't any co-workers in here. Go crazy. Stay out past ten. Drink some of that great looking grape punch. Gah! What happened to the punch?! Did someone spike the punch? What is this, a John Hughes film? Spiking the punch. Really? What did they spike it with? Did they spike it with an energy drink and some sort of liquor? What's happening?
Are you feeling alright? You're feeling energized? That's awesome. You've feeling like you've been alcoholized? Well that's not what you want. You wanted to have a good time and now look at you. You're in rougher shape than before you came to this non-work related party. You don't even drink and now you're a wreck. You've got to get to the bottom of this. "Who did this?" you ask, "Who dumped this stuff in the juice? My first glass was great and then subsequent glasses were less than great. Who's the wise guy?" Less than ten seconds later a kid said that he poured some Monster in there because he wanted to pump the party up. He was bored and now you're suffering the consequences. Thanks kid.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 2 weeks, 1 day ago
