Agua Enerviva - 5 Reviews

This is one of those drinks that is hard to classify. If you asked a kid what this was, they would say a juice. I couldn't argue with him since it's dark, fruity, and tastes like juice. When you read the labels, though, they vaguely call it a "beverage" and use sweet buzzwords like "enhanced" and "natural" and "energy" which might or might not make it an enhanced natural energy beverage but those words are borderline worthless. Also, "agua" makes me want to put it in the same category as Vitamin Water and the like but I could be wrong. For the aforementioned reasons I will never discredit a scientist for having to pick the correct genus and species of animal, bug, fruit, et cetera. Some things are drifters. That being said, a tomato is eternally a vegetable. I don't give a rip what seeds mean.

This drink is good. I don't get a lot of pomegranate but get a decent amount of cherry. It does taste like if you ate a candle and I cannot pinpoint that. I worked at a skate shop in my youth that was next door to a candle store and this drink is like someone filtered a pomegranate and cherry juice through some strategically placed candles. I say strategically because if I were performing the task, I would have candles stacked up and carefully melted as to have a seamless, waxful route of like seventeen candles to pour the drink down.

Now I want to do this. Can someone commission me to make a candle slide in which to "enhance" my otherwise average drink with additional mystery flavors? If not to make a drink, just to melt a whole bunch of candles and hook up a garden pump to have water go through a multicolored slide-o-wax? I'll let you name it, just let me take care of the actual work and don't bother me while I make art.
e art.

I hate to always bring reviews of drink such as this back to this company, but this tastes like a diet Vitamin Water. Sure there are dozens of other companies I could compare it too, but I think most people are more familiar with Vitamin Water than those other companies, so it gives them a better base for comparison. Well that was completely unnecessary and boring.

I will say that while this is a fruit punch, it's not the type of drink I think of when I hear the words fruit punch. I think companies should avoid that phrase because it makes me think of Hawiian Punch and the like, which no one really needs to drink. This is not just a bog bottle of red syrup. This is pretty light and has a more adult fruit punch flavor. I think it's interesting that they still sweeten this with cane sugar, just not as much. They make up the difference with sucralose. The mixture doesn't give it that deadly 80's diet flavor that I dread. It tastes diet, but not like poison.

The thing that differentiates Agua Enerviva from Vitamin Water is that their drinks have guarana in them, which is a natural source of caffeine. There's not enough in here to make you crazy and jittery, but it's a nice slight push to get you through your day.

You've got a great thing. Imagine, if you will, a pristine Pontiac Fiero. Gorgeous, right? Red with those strange but lovable cloth seats with the speakers in the headrest. Manual transmission, stock everything, fastback, and unaltered in every way. You love it, much like Cameron's dad's Ferrari in Ferris Bueler's Day Off, you wipe you car with a diaper. You reach a point in your life, though, where you've got a kid and you can no longer see yourself driving such a cherry roadster so you have to sell it. An eighteen year old in a beat up Neon comes to your house, hands you cash, and you sadly give him the keys and the title.

A year later you see the car around your work. It's got a dent in the hood, a plastic bag taped to the passenger window because of an apparent break-in attempt, bigger tires, and a different color passenger rear view mirror. You feel like all your hard work preserving the best of 1988 was for naught and shed the saddest single tear your eyes have ever shed. This drink is that.

You've got one great second of strawberry and kiwi that you wish never ended followed by a diet massacre. The final ingredient is sucralose, which ruins this entire drink turning it into the abomination of what it once was. It truly starts out very promising but then promptly takes a turn for the worse.

Both drinking this and writing that intro made me sad.

Sadly this is a pretty big bottle of mediocrity. I thought that mate lemonade would be pretty interesting but instead, I was served some sort of light juice that doesn't really taste much like lemonade or mate. Odd how that happened. It actually tastes a bit diet, but not too much. I'm just kind of milling over the taste but from what was advertised to what was delivered, they are worlds apart. This drink was fruity but light almost like if you had some guarana Vitamin Water.

I didn't know what it would taste like as mate is inherently pretty bitter and lemonade is sour or tart. Together I thought that it would have given my tongue a run for it's money, a phrase that my tongue doesn't understand because it doesn't work and as many times as I've tried to become a famed voice-over actor, it decided to work by spouting off negativity, sarcasm, and unfortunately misdirected wit.

I might have the energy to complete my day due to the caffeine in both mate and guarana, but I didn't particularly enjoy the path to get there.

Three things:

A. If your flavor has the word passion in it, I'm going to believe that it is passion fruit flavored. This doesn't have passion fruit in it, nor does it taste like it. Instead it has the traditional orange drink flavor of Tang.

B. I expected this to have an insane diet taste, but the mixing of the cane sugar and sucralose isn't bad at all. There isn't much diet flavor to it.

C. The only thing in it that makes it an energy drink is caffeine from guarana. I don't think that actually qualifies this as an energy drink. If it does, than Coke or Pepsi should also be considered.


Overall this isn't a bad drink. Sure the name of the flavor isn't very fitting, but I like the way it tastes. Also, they were able to keep the calories down without sacrificing too much of the taste. I can't argue with that.