Biliner - 2 Reviews

Mark Smits was a famous actor. He rose to stardom after a series of romantic comedies and after that, his stardom just kept rising. He quickly saw the danger in being so famous and influential. People were doing things like carving their names in their arms, getting tattoos of his perfect face on their bodies, and dressing like him at comic book conventions. His friends started to notice it and made him do things to see just how far people would go "in his honor." They would do things like have him go up to people in the streets and say that he'll give them a hug if they grab strangers butts and they would do it without hesitation. He made people get "MARK SMIT" tattood on their knuckles with the leftover "S" on their thumb and a peace sign on the other thumb and people did it and smiled the whole way. To step it up a notch, his friends dared him to start a company with the premise of people buying anything he endorses. The challenge was on.

Mark bought a thousand bottles, went down to the point in city where the trucks dumped all the snow and just filled up the bottles with salty, dirty, melted snow water. People cringed a bit when they drank it but since Mark said that it was cool, so did everyone else. He decided he did not like what he had become and quit acting all together. He decided to take his million of dollars and invest it wisely and spend the rest on doing good in cities around the country. It would all come full circle when he was working across the country at a soup kitchen and a case of his salty snow water came in and the homeless people recognized him from the campaign and made him sign bottles of it. Mark would never be able to escape his unfortunately uber-successful past.

70% of the Earth is made up of water. The human body contains about the same percentage. That's a whole lot of water. Imagine how either would look if you took that water out? Mummies, or California Raisons? You be the judge. Either way it would be gross and terrible. We don't really review water here on Thirsty Dudes, unless a company sends us some. Our reasoning is that we don't know what to say. How does one describe water? It's wet? It tastes like water? Does anything taste like water, except itself? Sure we understand there are subtle nuances in different companies, but we're not the kind of experts that could easily identify them and explain them to the public.

With all of that being said, Biliner sent us some of their mineral water and it tastes like water with a little something extra in it. It tastes like well water to me. It's not as crisp as "regular water." It contains ammonia, magnesium, calcium, iron, and sodium. I can understand why some people would enjoy this, but personally I would rather drink the water out of the Britta in my fridge.

The people from the company tell me that it is huge in Europe. I can see that. They like fancier waters over there. They also are obsessed with carbonated water, which I simply do not get.