RISE - 2 Reviews

RISE Nitro Blood Orange Coffee

RISE Nitro Blood Orange Coffee
I'll have the 2-2-2, please? Egg? Ugg, scrambled. Sausage. Pancakes please. Oh, chocolate chip pancakes. Oh, to drink? Umm. You know what? I'll have a coffee and an orange juice. Thank you.

Wow. That was fast. Oh, it's made before hand and microwaved and brought to me? You can hardly taste the difference. If I wasn't such a scumbag, I might complain but it's garbage food to begin with so I'm fine with it. Why...why are you making that face? Oh yeah, I like to pour orange juice into my coffee. It cools it down and gives it a citrus taste. Is it good? Well it's not...poison. I don't know why I do it. I've been doing it seemingly forever. Wait wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut? You have a drink that tastes like orange juice and coffee mixed together? You can save me the painstakingly large amount of drinking half my orange juice straight like a savage and then pouring scalding hot coffee into my orange juice cup? How it is? It tastes exactly the same? Does it have the same, strange orange citrus taste mixed with the strange bitterness of coffee? You don't say. Well Darlene, I will take one to go and I will tip you handsomely. No, I'm not calling you handsome. Well I did notice that you have a moustache and while it looks good on you I wasn't going to say anything about it. Well I didn't know if you were going for something and I thought it to be none of my business. Darlene, take this $5. It's yours. Cash. Take it. I'll take this can of Rise Nitro Blood Orange Coffee and drink it in the car on the way to clown college. Yes Darlene, you heard me correctly. I'm a grown man going to clown college. My life isn't going exactly as planned.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Coffee and Juice
Company
RISEWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 3/13/19, 11:45 AM
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Amazon.com
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RISE Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black

RISE Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Original Black
Before I can say anything else about this product I have to acknowledge the fact that this is the second can I have drank and both of them made the craziest noises when I cracked them open. It was like I was opening a vault door to some sort of cryogenic chamber. Highly pressurized air came rushing forward and for a moment I was in a scene in a science fiction movie.

Cold brew has been making quite a splash over the past couple of years. Not only are local coffee shops serving it more regularly, but it seems like new companies are popping up every week to see you their ready to drink version. RISE only uses two ingredients in their cold brew, water and coffee beans (organic of course). The thing that makes them stands out in this sea(okay small lake, or maybe a pond?) of new companies is that they infuse it with nitrogen to make it creamy and smooth, which I will attest to, it is. To me this tastes like coffee grounds smelled when I was a kid. It was such a wonderful flavor, but then when I tried it brewed, the taste/scent never matched up. This would have made me a regular coffee drinker at an early age. Like most things that are good it is simple. That is where the power lies. The more garbage you add to a beverage the more you have to worry about things evening out. When it's a two item process, there is so little that could go wrong, especially when you know how to do a proper brew as RISE does.

In our dystopian future where machines have taken over everything and the only hope humanities has lies in the fact that they can still make delicious coffee, RISE will be king. (that's what we call a call back in the biz. People like when you explain things like that, right? )

Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Coffee
Company
RISEWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 4/24/17, 9:49 AM
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