Rockstar (28 reviews)

Rockstar Energy Water Orange Tangerine

Rockstar Energy Water Orange Tangerine

Gerald, you just won a big race but I didn't tell you that I have a flat tire and we actually have to run to return this copy of "Bridemaids" to the video store and it closes in fifteen minutes. I have for you a small bottle of energy water. It's like water but it's got some extra goodies in it. What goodies? I don't know; what am I, a scientist? Did I make the drink? No, Gerald. I did not make the drink. Every minute that we're stuck talking about the drink is time that you could be running to the video store. Yeah, I'm surprised that they made the movie on VHS, too but they did. What do I look like, Gerald? A rich person? Only rich people use DVDs. Blu-Ray? What's that?

What does it taste like? Jesus Christ, Gerald. It tastes a little like Tang but a little bit thicker and a little bit more diet. It's good. I had one and I'm wasting my energy talking to you about the where's'it's and who's'it's of this drink. Just get out of here. You don't have to worry about your precious figure because there are no calories in the entire bottle.

Thank you, Gerald, for finally returning my video. Now when you get there, see if they have a VHS copy of "Bachlorette." I'm on a real "bad girl wedding" tear right now.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 20th, 2013
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Rockstar Recovery Orange

Rockstar Recovery Orange

Does anyone else have second thoughts about drinking a beverage that pops when you twist off the cap and an eerie smoke pours out of the opening? I feel like I should be wearing a has mat suit with some thick gloves that you can handle uranium with. Essentially it makes me feel like this beverage should not exist outside of some lab somewhere.

Being as I am a scientist, specifically one with a degree in drinkology (no , not like some pretentious mixologist, I had to spend eight years in college to get my degree), I through caution of radioactivity to the wind an dove in head first. By that I mean I took a small tentative sip. I can safely say that this does not taste nuclear, and I have no fear of my pee coming out glowing later.

The strange thing about this beverage is that it is made with real orange juice (it’s the second ingredient, but it’s only 3% of the whole), yet it still tastes like Tang. Have they ever thought of marketing this as an energy drink for astronauts? I imagine that is exactly what space explorers do not need though. They’re stuck up in orbit for months at a time with, what I expect is little to do for a good portion of their days. Why would they want to be all hopped up on energy drinks? I think I would like to sleep through as much as that experience as possible. So yeah, nix that idea.

As part of the recovery line this beverage is meant to give you energy as well as hydrate you. Think of it as Rockstar meets Gatorade with sexy results!!! Wait, that’s not right. There is nothing sexy about this. It tastes like Gatorade made a Tang flavor and then they added a bit of an energy compound to it. It doesn’t taste too much like chemicals, but it’s there around the edges. Actually it’s there in a way that makes it taste vaguely diet, even though it’s sweetened with sucrose.

On a side note, while I do like the idea that it is in a resealable can, I have to say that about a third of the sips I took resulted in some sort of splash back that got on my clothes. Either they need to work on the design a bit, or I need to learn how to drink properly.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 1st, 2013
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8 Pack - Rockstar Recovery Energy + Hydration - Orange - 16oz.

Rockstar Recovery Grape

Rockstar Recovery Grape

I believe there is a flaw in the basic nature of this beverage. How I see it is that you would want to drink an energy drink prior to doing strenuous activity that would require hydration. Wouldn’t you want that extra boost to help you push through whatever it is that you’re doing? Does added hydration do anything previous to any sort of workout? I suppose you could sip this while you are in the process of whatever it is that you are doing. Would the energy boost hit you in time though? I certainly don’t get it.

Another thing that I don’t get is the flavor. Grape has got to be one of the easiest flavors ever (right along side orange), yet they have somehow messed it up with this. What little non-diet/energy flavor that is present almost tastes more berry than grape. Whatever it is, it’s not very pleasant. It’s certainly doesn’t taste good enough to denote a 24oz can.

I’m going to stick to the one serving out of the three that are in this can, and introduce the rest to the drainage system in my house. It has no place in my person.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 14th, 2013
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8 Pack - Rockstar Recovery Energy + Hydration - Orange - 16oz.

Rockstar Pure Zero Punched

Rockstar Pure Zero Punched

Why is it these days that when energy drink companies decide to make add a diet version to their line that uses either erythritol or stevia it has a fruit punch flavor? Why not just go with your flagship flavor, and not something that is not a staple in your line? Are people out there really clamoring so much for new fruit punch drinks, especially those of the diet variety?

This isn’t all that terrible for a diet fruit punch, but as a friend pointed out, if you can’t take the sugar, leave the punch on the shelf. It doesn’t matter how many pennies you throw in the wishing well, it will never taste the way you want it to. Luckily for everyone involved this is a Hawiian Punch style fruit punch, but more of the classic not a mouthful of syrup variety.

Here are a few final thoughts for you that are a bit disjointed. Fruit punch is a beverage for children. Children shouldn’t consume energy drinks. Energy drinks shouldn’t be flavored like fruit punch. Diet and fruit punch have no place together. This doesn’t make me want to die drinking it, yet I stand by my previous statements.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 25th, 2013
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16 Pack - Rockstar Pure Zero Punched - 16oz.

Rockstar Recovery Energy/Tea/Lemonade

Rockstar Recovery Energy/Tea/Lemonade

First let’s look at the pros:
This is a non-carbonated energy drink. While it’s not entirely novel, but it’s a nice option regardless. On top of that it is also an iced tea energy drink. Something about that makes it seem more natural, even though there are unnatural things afoot. The sugar content is on the lower side for these types of drinks, which is always appreciated. The final plus is that it doesn’t taste like a typical energy drink. The weird chemical candy taste is not present at all. When companies can achieve that, they get my attention.

Now on to the cons:
This smells like a cheap lemon flavored iced tea, and the taste is right there as well. This tastes like it should be a close relative to Brisk. While that may be a very good thing for some people, I personally am not a fan of that fake tea taste. In fact, this doesn’t taste like a “half and half” at all. There is no classic lemonade flavor in this can, it’s just an overly lemon iced tea. Again, perhaps that’s good for some, but I’m not on board. The final con is that along with the glucose this also has sucralose in it. That is the reason for the lower levels of sugar, but it also takes the flavor down a notch as you get hints of diet occasionally.

There it is. Take these lists and decide for yourself if this is the kind of thing you want to put in your body or not. I personally did not make it through the entire can.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 27th, 2013
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16 Pack - Rockstar Recovery Energy / Hydration - Tea / Lemonade - 15.5oz.

Rockstar Super Sours Energy Drink Green Apple

Rockstar Super Sours Energy Drink Green Apple

Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. That's all Francis was doing. He had just moved into a new house and had to caulk and paint the whole house himself. He had some time off and just wanted to knock it out as soon as he could. Paint then caulk. Such a time consuming process. Paint, wash brushes, caulk. Over and over. He knew he could spice it up a bit so he took a break for lunch and saw a new energy drink that he hadn't had before. SuperSours sounds like something he would have drank as a kid. As an adult with a fresh mortgage, he now looked back fondly at his day of youth filled with just playing with friends until the sun set night after night. Now it was just office work day in and day out. Wearing heavily starched shirts with ties, khakis, and dress shoes every day just to sell office supplies. In hindsight, it was not the life that he ever thought that he would lead.

He took a drink and it took him back to those days. He took another sip and just closed his eyes and reminisced about playing in the pool with friends, playing hockey in the street, and football in people's front yards. It was a sour that was somewhere in between a Warhead and a Jolly Rancher. It was a familiar taste that he hadn't had in years. He took another sip and it seemed more and more childish and less like it was a good idea to buy it. What was he doing? It was an energy drink that didn't taste like an energy drink, which was good, but it was a sour, sour apple drink. That was kids stuff. Why would kids drink an energy drink? Kids are filled with energy. Francis was feeling more like an adult with every sip. He said to himself, "Hey, kids can't fix a sink like me. Kids can't crunch numbers to make deals like me. I was a dumb kid. Now look at me. I've got a great haircut, a semi-babe as a girlfriend, and a sweet new house. Who needs this kid stuff? I'm a friggin' adult!" People looked at him like he was crazy. He slowly got up and walked back to his house. He grabbed the tube of caulk and started again and though to himself, "Oh yeah. This sucks. I wish I was a kid again...again."

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 5th, 2014
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8 Pack - Rockstar Super Sours Green Apple - 16oz.

Rockstar Sparkling Cherry Citrus

Rockstar Sparkling Cherry Citrus

Welcome to the international belching competition. This year we have a lot of top notch competitors and we’re hoping to break some records for decibels and for length of belches. Before reigning champion Michelle Dowanowa produces the ceremonial first burp we’d like to announce that our sponsor for this years games is Rockstar Energy. Each of our contestants will be given a can of the new “Sparkling” line of Rockstar in order to produce the largest ball of gas that they can muster from their mouth.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Aren’t all Rockstar drinks carbonated, why do they need a Sparkling line?” Well that would have been true a few short years ago, but since then the company has delved into teas, sports drinks and various other styles of beverages that are bubble free.

Let me tell you the reign of still energy drinks will come to an end as soon as you crack one of these cans open. They are one of the most carbonated drinks that this announcer has encountered in a long, long time. I took one sip and I was a regular Barney Gumble. We are all in for an auditory treat once the contestants down their cans.

Life is not all burps and games, and we are contractually obligated to give you a bit for information about these energy drinks. First off this is the least diet tasting, sucralose sweetened drink I have ever tasted. You can tell that something is up with the flavor, and that they didn’t use real sugar, but it doesn’t taste like diet first, and cherry citrus second. Overall the flavor is very light. The ridiculous amount of carbonation distracts from the flavor a bit, but that is what some people want. I can certainly think of times in my life where this would be exactly what I need to satiate me. A nice light cherry limeade with a little orange thrown into the mix.

Now if you will all stand as our team of past champions will burp the national anthem’s of all of the participants home countries.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 18th, 2014
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16 Pack - Rockstar Sparkling Energy - Cherry Citrus - 16oz.

Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice

Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice

Tonight my band is playing our first show in a while. Due to a lack of sleep and printing mass amounts of shirts all day I am exhausted and was looking for a pick me up for a late night. Of course the only energy drink I had on deck is by Rockstar, so even though I could have drunk it and not mentioned a thing I will let the world know that it made me feel like a turd drinking this when I have a show. I feel like the type of person that drinks these before they play are also the same people who would wear Affliction clothing, and have fifteen minute drum solos in their sets. I call for no nonsense and while I enjoy the taste of most Rockstar beverages, I kind of hate the name and can imagine annoying people referring to each other as “rock star” and that is something that chills me.

All valley girl voices aside, this is way better than anticipated. The inclusion of sucralose in any beverage, even when paired with erythritol is generally bad news. In here it’s not too bad, well as long as you don’t let it warm up. I don’t know how to describe what I would expect “silver ice” to taste like, but this drink is pretty accurate. It’s very crisp and somehow tastes clean. Sure there’s a bit of diet in there, but it doesn’t ruin the drink. It also doesn’t taste like a typical energy drink, diet or regular. It kind of has a lemon-lime flavor, but not really. It is its own beast and I’m into it. My name is Jason Draper and I approve this zero calorie energy drink.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 3rd, 2015
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8 Pack - Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice - 16oz.

Rockstar Roasted Mocha

Rockstar Roasted Mocha

Section one: The False Apology
Sorry (not sorry) this is the third coffee drink in a row.

Section two: The Review
Editor Dan and I went to Toronto to see Zombi, a prog/synth band from Pittsburgh that we hadn't seen in over a decade. The show didn't start until 9:30 and it was a two-ish hour drive home. It was a late night and only got later. What do you do? Coffee, right? That's the right thing to do. I thought that coffee plus additional energy would do the trick, which I did since I'm alive to write this review and now sitting in a ditch upside down off the QEW.

Was it an enjoyable experiment? It was "fine." It was strangely smooth. It seems that all of the sweetened coffee drinks from the United States lost all the edge or the bitterness of coffee, lately. Maybe it's canned, sweetened coffee. It all is starting to taste like thinner, melted, coffee iced cream. I don't want that. I don't think that I expected a high quality roast since Rockstar is not a coffee company first, but this seems like they cut a lot of corners and just bought "coffee flavor." This did not taste like an energy drink which I appreciate.

It did its job and that's what's important. I suppose that it was just "OK" was secondary. Strange, but secondary.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 9th, 2015
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16 Pack - Rockstar Roasted Coffee + Energy Mocha -15oz.

Rockstar Organic Island Fruit Flavor

Rockstar Organic Island Fruit Flavor

I know a lot of people who say things like, “Well obviously I would prefer organic, but without all of the chemicals, energy drinks just don’t work.” Okay maybe no one has ever said that to me, but it’s basically the message that comes across. I’m here to day to tell those people that they are very wrong, and I have a restless night to prove it to them. I knew I had to stay up late last night, so around 8PM I drank 2/3 of this can. At 4:30AM I was still tossing and turning for no other reason than I partook in this beverage. That’s right, I didn’t even consume the entire can and over 8 hours later I couldn’t rest no matter what I tried. To be fair I am more sensitive to caffeine than your average person, but that is a ridiculous amount of time for it to still be effecting me. All of its energy comes from green coffee beans and guarana seed extract, butI promise you that these Rockstar Organic energy drinks do work, and you can down them without feeling terrible about putting a bunch of chemicals into your body.

As an added bonus to the effects, this tastes pretty great as well. It may not contain any juice, but it has a nice passion fruit flavor mixed with a general exotic tropical fruit amalgamation. I’m pretty sure there is guava involved in there, but maybe that is me tasting what I want to taste. It doesn’t matter if it’s in there or not, it’s one of the best tasting energy drinks I’ve ever tasted.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 21st, 2016
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Rockstar Energy Drink Juice, Organic, 24 Fluid Ounce (Pack of 24)
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