Sonu - 2 Reviews

Mark, I asked you to get me a flavored water. What is this crap you brought me? Sure its got water in it's name, but this tastes more like a juice than water. It's so darn sweet. It's absolutely nothing like what I wanted. I wanted something as light as can be, very crisp and just slightly flavored. Well I want it flavored enough that it doesn't taste like someone spit a little juice in my water, but what I want is 98% water. I want it to be like I took a nice frigid pitcher of water out of the fridge, poured myself a nice tall glass. I want that, but lightly flavored, like I said. I want the flavoring to be more of an aftertaste than the actual flavor of the drink. Water first. Flavor second. You have another bottle? That thing looks comically bad. Its label is just screaming artificial sweetener. It's sweetened with agave syrup you say? Well I'll give it a try. Wow this is exactly what I wanted. Now my only problem is that since it's like water I could probably drink ten bottles. Looks like you're going back out in that blizzard to pick up some more. Thanks Mark, you're a doll.

Low calorie. Organic. Electrolytes. Vitamins. Antioxidants. Everything you want, right? Sure, you're fat, eat fast food, have a family history of illness, don't go outside, and your darn dog just peed on your comforter. You need this. It's a necessity. Without it, you might die, or go further down the spiral that your life has become. I'm sorry, but this is the way that it is. This tiny drink, which I just noticed seems small but actually contains twelve ounces of liquid, can cure all of your problems. For instance; weight is controlled by its low calorie count and electrolytes, organic can cure you of your drive-thru habit, vitamins and antioxidants take care of your illnesses and you introverted, pale, agoraphobic ways. Finally, throw the empty bottle at the friggin' dog that just ate your favorite baseball. Jerome is a bit of a handful. Remember that time when he ate your homework and your teacher, Mrs. Hogenmuller wouldn't believe you? I don't blame her. I bet she gets that all the time.

What do expect from this adequately priced drink? Not too shabby. It's a tad viscous, that is to say, it's thicker than water. The taste is deceiving. It's a little pomegranaty and the Acai is actually kind of transformed into a tea taste so it just tastes like a light, berry tea, which I am fine with on all counts.

I want you on the up and up. Get out of that pizza place you pathetically have been making subs at for 14 years and get a job that will allow you to move out of that dump of a place you call an apartment. You're 34 years old and you have $16 in you savings account. You do have a fantastically large anime collection and that is something to be impressed of...to some people. Mostly nerds.