Cintron (28 reviews)
Cintron Grapeade
All morning for no reason in particular we were talking about The Chapelle Show and how great it was. It seriously came out of nowhere and we talked about it for an hour. It was a wonderful three seasons that ended too soon.
I knew I had some "purple drink" down in my pile so I picked it out, refrigerated it, and here we are. I know the "purple drink" he's referring to and that is not great. It's like that age-old discussion that you have with friends about if Skittles taste different because it's like 49% water, 50% sugar, and 1% flavoring. I never, not even as a kid, like "_________ Flavored Drink" because it's a bad imitation of an imitation. This drink is only one tier deep so it's closer to what an actual grape tastes like but still, not what grapes taste like. It sweet, it's juice, it's purple. That seems to be all it takes to pass the grape exam. This isn't terrible, though. It's absolutely drinkable and after a nice long lunch walk with "work dudes," it's just what I needed.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 days, 13 hours ago
Cintron Ade Papaya
I don't know what "ade" is. I'm no dummy but I assume that "lemons" need to be involved. Lemon"ade" lime"ade". I guess that limes could be involved, too. Ade must mean something else. Is "ade" just another word for juice? I mean lemonade is really nothing other than lemon juice with sugar in it. I guess I just cracked the code. Problem solved. Plus one for me. Minus one for, oh I don't know, racism.
For a juice, or newly discovered "ade", this is great. I have eaten papaya but rarely. I have drunk far more papaya related drinks that I have even touched real papaya. This is not due to me being unworldly; it’s just that I don't often fondle fruits I'm not going to buy. It was very fruity, though. There is apple juice in there, but who cares. You can't have a papaya puree ade because that would just be a puree which would be a different animal all together. It wasn't too sweet and defiantly left me wanting more. Even though I have an empty bottle next to me, I still want to open it and hope that I can get some residual drips. I might have already tried that once or twice so I doubt that the third time will be the charm.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/11/2012
Cintron Iced Tea Mandarin Raspberry
This drink was a castaway in the sea of beverages that flows in and out of the homes of the Thirsty Dudes. We’ve reviewed 25 different drinks from Cintron, and I’m pretty sure this is the last one left. When Derek left to move back to Portland last week Mike and I raided his cupboards and stole all of the drinks that he wasn’t going to be able to take with him. I personally expected it to be the lowest of the low like Mike and I have sitting around, the things we are just dreading writing reviews for. As it turns out there were quite a few gems in there, this being one of them.
For such an unusual flavor for iced tea, it doesn’t seem that odd when you drink it. Sure orange has been in hot tea for eons (literally eons, are you calling me a liar?) but how often do you see it in an iced variety. I have seen possible 2 or 3 companies that have it in their product line. Raspberry? That’s old news. Combine the two and you have something new and exciting that doesn’t taste too extreme. Fill up a glass for a friend and dollars to donuts they wouldn’t even ask about the flavor, yet when you know the flavor you detect a subtle orange flavor hidden in an otherwise ordinary raspberry tea. It’s great, and I’m glad we got to potentially close out this company with yet another great review.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/13/2012
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Cintron Iced Tea with Lemon
Lemons are so social. They are the team players of Fruitland. They'll go anywhere and do anything. What drink line doesn't have a lemon flavored drink, or at least lemon as an additive? I don't hate lemons. Unless it's lemonade, there is a different lemon taste. You only get the sting on lemonade. I think that lemonade is a lemon's pet project. That's where they have their best foot forward.
Drinks like this is where the blue-collar lemons go. It's not bad. They're there. You can taste them. They're not in their finest state, but they're there. It's a black tea with lemon in it. Simple. I'm not offended by the corn syrup as this is right on par with "the rival" tallboy. You know the one.
This is fine. Dandy even. Lemons, keep up the good work. Sure, for some reason Jay doesn't like you, but he's strange. He's got Spice Girls and Bauhaus in his music collection. Lemons are fine, Jay.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/5/2012
Cintron Lite Half and Half
You know what, Mr. Waitress; I'm sick and tired of this. I come here day after day and I don't know why. You always get my order wrong, all of the wait staff has a terrible attitude and the pop is usually flat. I got one exceptional meal here and I won't give this place up because I feel that one day it will be that good again. It hasn't been. I've been keeping my mouth shut for months now but this is the last straw.
The only think I asked for is sweet tea and you only have diet. It's not awful, but it's half way to really diet tasting. To make matters worse, you only had enough for half a glass. Now what am I going to do with this. I just filled up on crackers and I am exceptionally thirsty. Mix it with something? What do you propose? Lemonade? Who do I look like, Arnold freakin' Palmer. Yeah, sure. Lemonade me up.
Oh, and another thing. I can't stand...when...the thing is...I...I...I'm sorry. I've had a rough day and all I wanted was a Black and Blue burger. When you brought me a bacon burger, it was half the straw that broke the camel's back. The half diet lemonade was now the savior because this isn't half bad. Sure, it's still a little diet, but the lemonade saves it. It tastes like "kid-made" lemonade. This might be some of the best diet half and half I've ever had.
You, my good sir, have done it. "Done what" you ask? You have roped me into coming here again and again now that you gave me this. It's redeeming. Please, sir. I just ask you one more simple thing. Do you have any more chocolate cream pie? I saw it on your specials board. You don't. Well, how about that. Let down again. You'd better have this concoction in here next time I come or I'm really going to make a stink!
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/26/2012
Cintron Toronja
Oh man. How am I going to do a 500 word essay on the Emancipation Proclamation in...oh jeez. Fourteen minutes. First thing's first, I need something to drink. This high school is strange. I don't know who is stocking this cooler, but there is no Pepsi or Gatorade or anything I've ever heard of before, just this Cintron stuff. Toronja? I don't know what that is but I do enjoy a good iced tea.
Alright, pen to paper. Let's do this. Oh, this tea is good. It's lightly citrus'd but it is just sweetened tea. What?! Ten minutes? I've only put my name on this piece of paper. Ahhh! Alright, one more sip and I'm cracking down on this paper. This is good tea, man. It's very clean tasting. Not too sweet like a southern style sweet tea but it's got the same ingredients. Eight minutes?! Alright, alright. Let's start.
Emancipation Proclamation, by Mitch Fandis.
Slavery is bad. The president, Abraham Lincoln did not like it. He wanted slavery to be abolished. Not everyone hated slavery, though. The south enjoyed slavery. They used slaves on their plantations. Cider House Rules was a movie about slavery.
There. That's about...less than 50 words? Oh man. I don't know what else to say about it. I can re-write this, double space it, and write larger. That will get me to a whole page. Ahh, the tricks of a tenth grader.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/25/2012
Cintron Lemon Lime Mojito
I don't know anything about anything. I always assumed that anything mojito was mint. I don't know the historical travels of the word, the Latin meaning. I just assumed that it was always mint and rum or gin or something. Vodka? I don't know anything. This might be a poor representation of a mojito in regards to it supposedly being mint and Cintron just forgetting the mint. I will tell you, though. Lemon and lime in a black tea make one fantastic Ménage à trois. I don't mean that in a sexual fashion because if there is ever a day where black tea, or just leaves, lemons, and lives are rocking the sheets, I hope to be either far from dead or below them to catch whatever comes out. Maybe that's how this was made. Maybe I have lost my mind this Christmas break since I just said that. What if I got some sort of brain damage for Christmas? Ugh, worse than socks and worse than underwear. This drink is no mint, all real lemon and lime mixed with a great sweetened tea. All natural. No grossness.
I'm going to cut this while I am at, what I hope, is my lowest point. Please...sitting underneath fruits and leaves having sex. Disgusting.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/29/2011
Cintron Liquid Energy Shot Cranberry Splash
Cintron knows how to make a tasty energy drink. They have even managed to make some quality energy shots, which are by definition disgusting. Unfortunately with this offering they have fallen short. The bitterness of the cranberry flavor does not help the already gross energy shot flavor. Instead of masking the grossness, it possibly makes it worse. The sucralose used to sweeten it makes it taste like diet toxic waste. I'm sorry Cintron. I really wish we could have given you all top marks, but this is probably the worst energy shot I've ever tasted. So dear readers you should just pick up their other flavors. They are a company that deserves to be able to shine.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/14/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
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Cintron Liquid Energy Citrus Mango
The past couple of days have really been kicking my keister. Due to the holiday, and general gluttony, I've been eating way too much food. That coupled with the fact that it's dark by 6pm has caused me to get sleepy way early. Yesterday I took a step towards being the old man that I've been striving to become by taking a nap. Today I had too much stuff to do, so I partook in this little treat.
Does it taste like mango? Not really. Does it taste like a citrus fruit punch? You betcha. It has a slight chemical/candy energy drink taste, but for the most part it tastes like a citrus juice. I really wish stores around here sold this line of Cintron energy drinks, because I have yet to have one that I dislike and for some unscientific reason (very unlike us Thirsty Dudes) I don't feel as bad when I drink one of these. Even though they aren't made with real fruit juice, they sure taste like they are, and I will let me mind continue to pretend that they are.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/25/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Cintron Mango Ade
Let's play a little game called taste the flavor. You, the contestant, are put into a dark theatre to enjoy a movie. You are then handed a contraband beverage that your ladyfriend has snuck into the theatre for you. The movie is pretty dark (and completely brutal) so you can't see the label of the drink to know the flavor. Can you guess the flavor in three tries?
On the first sip you discern that it is not quite a juice and that it must be some kind of "ade" or a fruit drink of some kind. It's thinner and sweeter than a juice would be. Since you are an intelligent human being who is familiar with the Cintron line, you know that from the bottle shape this must certainly be an ade. Now you're a little confused. It's a strong fruity flavor is it peach? ***BUZZ*** Nope, your first guess is wrong. Well it does taste more tropical. It's certainly not guava, but it's something along those lines. Suddenly your brain moves to thoughts of stringy fruit. Of course. How could you not have gotten it on the first guess? It's most certainly Cintron's mango ade. Now that you know what it is you can't believe you would have thought it was anything else. It's so obviously the sweet, sweet juice of the mango without all of the sticky, stringy mess. Now sit back and enjoy your film, and try not to drink it all too quickly. You don't want to have to get up to go to the toity and miss a crucial plot point.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/18/2011