Function (10 reviews)

Function Alternative Energy Tropical Citrus

Function Alternative Energy Tropical Citrus

I’ve talked about this before, but energy drinks had really overrun our society. I have so many friends who can’t sleep at night because of their intake, and then in the morning they feel like a filth bin, and they drink more energy drinks just to get through the day. It’s a sad cycle that can be cleared up by some detox time in which people will feel like complete garbage for a while.

I luckily am not in this camp, but I feel a lesser version of it. I’ve been lucky that at any point in my life I’ve been able to fall asleep within five minutes of my head hitting a pillow. This past week things have been different. The little sleep I’ve been able to get has been complete crap. I wake up feeling terrible. I keep saying I just need to buy a new bed, as I’ve had mine forever, but secretly I think that my sensitivity to caffeine is getting worse. It used to be if I drank anything with caffeine after 5PM I wouldn’t get to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning. My 5PM cut off seems to be getting much earlier now. I’m not at a point where I need to drink an energy drink, or coffee every morning to get through the day without being miserable. I really hope that I never get to that point. I did feel it would be a wise idea to drink this Function before I went for a little hike with some friends, seeing as my sleep was limited and poor.

This doesn’t really fall under the same category for me because it doesn’t have the chemical garbage like taurine to give you energy, that makes you crash like a kamikaze. Instead this has the natural stimulus’ caffeine, muira puama root extract, epimedium extract, guarana seed extract, catuaba bark extract and yerba mate leaf extract. It doesn’t taste like a normal energy drink, which the bottle boasts, but I mourn. It also leaves you with less of a crash. That is something I can get behind. Flavor-wise it does have a tropical fruit juice flavor, but there are no individually distinct fruits in there. It just has a general tropical flavor mixed with a bit of the yerba mate flavor. Expecting more of a sports drink type flavor the yerba mate can be a bit off-putting, but when you know to expect it, it’s welcomed.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 9th, 2012
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Function: Alternative Energy Drink, Citrus Yuzu, 16.9 Ounce Bottle (Pack of 12)

Function Light Weight Blueberry Raspberry

Function Light Weight Blueberry Raspberry

I've been putting off trying this diet Function that was sent to us. I really disliked the other diet Function I had. This one really wasn't that bad at all. It lacked that overly diet taste that I had expected. Instead the fruit flavor was the strongest to my taste buds. I might go as far as to say this is the most un-diety diet drink I've ever had. Go ahead, give it a try.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 8th, 2010
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Function: Light Weight Blueberry Raspberry Drink, 16.9 Ounce Bottle (Pack of 12)

Function Urban Detox Pomegranate Cherry

Function Urban Detox Pomegranate Cherry

This is by far, and so far, my favorite Function drink. From the first smell of it I knew I was going to like it. It has a very light flavor. Very light. It's not too sweet at all and actually goes down really smooth. It's essentially a juice as far as I'm concerned. I don't really know what a "dietary supplement" is when it's like this. I can see a protein shake being a dietary supplement. Should I have not had the other half of yesterday's roast beef sub with this? Should I have just drunk this? I should try drinking more and eating less. Perhaps that is the point of a dietary supplement.

Anyhow, it's very strong in it's cherry flavor and you don't really get a whole lot of pomegranate except for at the "end" of your sip. It's light, simple, not too sweet, and it claims to combat sickness, hangovers, and pollutants. Not a bad gig, right?

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 27th, 2010
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Function Drinks Function Urban Detox Pomegranate Cherry, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Function Alternative Energy Acai Grape

Function Alternative Energy Acai Grape

I didn't expect this to be so fruity. I drank an acai drink earlier today, and this didn't really taste like acai, but it was still tasty. It kind of tasted like if some really good fruit punch was mixed with Vitamin Water. There is a weird mixture of ingredients in this. Purple Sweet Potato Extract? Strange. It is an all-natural energy drink, so that's nice. I always appreciate energy drinks that aren't "toxic tasting" and full of weird man made chemicals.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 16th, 2010
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Function Drinks Function Alternative Energy Acai Grape, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Function Alternative Energy Strawberry and Guava

Function Alternative Energy Strawberry and Guava

Woah guava. Holy guava? Which sounds better? Just opening this bottle, you get a rush of guava. Tasting it...different. Initially, I didn't like it. It tasted like...unripened fruit, but I think that it's just actual fruit. This is me giving them the benefit of the doubt. After you kind of "get it", it gets better. It's not an ultra sweet drink. Strong scent, but light flavor. You do get strawberries, no doubt, but don't expect "candy" like strawberry.

I'm not into energy drinks, so the fact that this is and doesn't taste like a handful of Skittles is pretty great. This is a dietary supplement and I also a time-release energy drink. I never really do anything with an exorbitant amount of caffeine so chances are I would not drink something like this on a regular basis. I don't really get those mid-day sleepies that a lot of people get, but I feel that it's one of those "I always drink coffee at the same time so I crash" things. It’s one of the perks to not drinking coffee ever.

All in all, it's not bad. If you are looking for something better than coffee and (probably) better than those 5 Hour Energy shots, give this a whirl. After all physicians created it.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 15th, 2010
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Function Drinks Function Alternative Energy Strawberry Guava, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Function Shock Sports Lemon-Lime Calamansi

Function Shock Sports Lemon-Lime Calamansi

This instantly reminds me of a much higher quality Gatorade. It has a very similar taste to their lemon lime drink, but it's a lot lighter, and the taste is stronger. I had no idea what Calamansi was, so I had to do some research. It turns out it is a citrus fruit from Southeast Asia.
I'm pretty sure Function has discontinued this line, but if you find it I suggest picking some up. If you're in the market for a sports drink that actually has natural additives in it that will help with your recovery time, look no further.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 13th, 2010
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Function Light Weight Acai and Pomegranate

Function Light Weight Acai and Pomegranate

All diet-ness aside this wasn't bad. As far as diet drinks go, this was actually pretty good. A little tinge from the sweeteners and the acai, but even as far as acai drinks go, it was one of the better drinks I've had.

My hat off to Function for actually creating a drink that has five, yeah, that's right, 5, calories and 1 gram of sugar and not having it taste putrid. If you are on a diet, and you are looking for something different, try this out. This company is pretty fantastic and has actual scientists behind their drinks.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Acesulfame Potassium
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 13th, 2010
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Function: Light Weight Acai Pomegranate Drink, 16.9 Ounce Bottle (Pack of 12)

Function Urban Detox Goji Berry

Function Urban Detox Goji Berry

This Function flavor tastes the most like it should be a flavor of Vitamin Water. That's not a bad thing. It definitely tastes like goji berry. It's fairly tangy and fruity. You know what I really don't know how else to describe the taste. It is good I will tell you that. Give it a shot. Mull it over your palette.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 30th, 2010
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Function: Urban Detox Goji Berry Drink, 16.9 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Function Light Weight Peach Mango

Function Light Weight Peach Mango

Ugh. I have had such good experiences with the other Function flavors I've tried. When I saw a peach mango one, I was so stoked. I didn't even take into consideration that it was "Light Weight." It tastes like nothing but artificial sweetener. I get no specific peach or mango flavor. It starts off with a general fruit flavor, and quickly turns to sucralose hell. If you are an alien and love the taste of artificial sweeteners, this may be right up your alley. I will be steering clear. Unfortunately I bought another flavor of "Light Weight" that I still have to review.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 19th, 2010
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Function Drink, Light Weight: Peach Mango, 16.9 Oz. / 12Pk

Function Urban Detox Citrus Prickly Pear

Function Urban Detox Citrus Prickly Pear

The function drinks had been on sale at my local supermarket for a while before I picked one up. I found the marketing a bit ridiculous. The description on the bottle tries to make it seem hip to city folk, before it comes out and says it's a hangover cure. I finally gave in, and I was pleasantly surprised. It reminds me of Vitamin Water, but way better. It tastes like achieving a full flavor was more important to the company, than the vitamin intake. The citrus flavor definitely overpowers the prickly pear, but I for one am okay with that.

Website
http://www.functiondrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 5th, 2010
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Function: Urban Detox Citrus Prickly Pear Drink, 16.9 Ounce Bottle (Pack of 12)
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