Gatorade (14 reviews)
Gatorade G2 Melon Pear
That sun man. What a jerk. Beaming down on you all of the day. You've got to put on thick layers of creams and salves just to go outside. Das Racist knows what I'm talking about. White man can't even go outside without getting a disease. I feel it. I spent my youth inside playing Ultima on the computer with my friends because I didn't want to squint anymore and it was too hot and his house was air-conditioned. My mom would call down and have my friend's parents kick us outside. My friends hated me because of it.
Max, my little dude, needed a pair of sunglasses. I feel so bad for him in the backseat because apparently they have outlawed tinted static clings. I can't find them anywhere and because of that I had to get him some glasses. I bought some for him, he liked them, liked to wear them for three seconds, take them off, eat them, and throw them on the ground. When I found those glasses, I also found this drink.
I like melon. Love it, really. Pear? We all know where I stand on pears. Whocaresville. I don't hate the taste of pears, though. This was good. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't terribly sweet and actually had a pretty strong melon flavor. Pear is there, but not as much as melon and for that, I thank you, Gatorade. I would buy this again and the whole bottle is only 20 calories.
Next time you go to the store to buy sunglasses, sunscreen, suntan lotion, or a giant sun hat, pick this up, too and you'll be sure to survive one more day out in the sun.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Isomaltulose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 1 day, 14 hours ago
Gatorade Perform 02 Fruit Punch
I was about to say that his is where sports drinks began, but then a quick internet search and I discovered that Lemon Lime was the original Gatorade flavor in 1965. Can you believe that this stuff has been around for so long? I wonder how different the original drink was to the ones that are readily available today.
While this may not have been the original, it certainly was the first I ever had. I used to go with my cousin to his soccer games in some strange sports complex. The concession stand there sold Gatorade and that’s all I ever got. It made me feel like an athlete even though I wasn’t playing. I was also probably five at the time and an idiot. I should have just been playing instead of sitting in the stands like a fool. Whatever. This is the flavor I always got, fruit punch. I’m sure this is an altered version of it, but it still tastes like slightly watered down Hawiian Punch. I’m glad that the company has gotten back off of the HFCS sweetener and gone with sucrose. The drink is way less syrupy this way.
I think as a rule no one should ever need to drink fruit punch (unless it actually is just a bunch of different fruit juices mixed together with no sweetener added), but if you find yourself craving it, I would choose this over its competitors. It’s not so overpoweringly strong.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 week, 6 days ago
Gatorade Perform 02 Grape
Woke up feeling 100%. Fed that kid I know, changed him, felt nauseous, half an hour later until now at almost three in the afternoon. Just spinning. I got enough sleep but feel like I could sleep for another five hours. Since I won't do that, I had to come up with another option. That option? Gatorade. I needed those harvested electrolytes wrangled up and put inside of my frail, crumbling frame.
Lucky for me, this wasn't some experimental flavor, but a simple, classic flavor. It tastes nothing like actual, real, physical grapes, but tastes like "faux" grapes, a taste I am more than familiar with. Look, grape pop plays a limited role in my mouth, but grape other things are more than welcome to play volleyball with my "hangy ball" any time they would like. This is an open invitation to most things grape. This was good and more importantly, safe. I will see how it works in my favor after the electrolytes, which plants do in fact crave, fight the dizzies in my head to regulate me back to where they should be. I will fully allow the fight to continue. It's a "greater good" scenario.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 weeks ago
Gatorade Perform 02 Frost Glacier Freeze
In the 25 years that I lived at home our fridge always had a jug of "blue juice" in it. Yes that's right I didn't move out of my mom's house until I was 25. Sure I could have gotten my own place much sooner, but I was on tour a lot and paying for an apartment when I was gone for a good chunk of time seemed stupid (I did pay my mom rent for the time I was in Buffalo). My living situation isn’t the important aspect of this story, the “blue juice” is. That neon fluid was two packets of Kool Aid’s Sharkleberry Fin (or whatever the name of that flavor was at the time) and way too much sugar. Our house was famous for this drink, and if we were ever out and my friends went to get a glass there was certainly a minor scene. This may seem like a pointless story, but it is relevant because this drink tastes like Gatorade’s version of blue juice. Sure, it has a lot less sugar and that very specific Gatorade taste to it, but the base is all Sharkleberry Fin. I rarely drink Gatorade, but the flavor of this brings me back to a better time before rent and bills were an issue. A time where my friends and I had more of a claim to my family’s house than my mom did. Strange times.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/25/2012
Gatorade Prime 01 Fruit Punch
Let me get this straight. It's January 7th, I'm in Buffalo, NY and it's 45 degrees? Well that seems completely insane. Anyone who doesn't believe in global warming should check themselves, because it's hear and we're loving it (well until summer comes, and until ice caps melt and we all float away). To celebrate I took my old bike (my good one has a flat tire randomly) out for a ten mile ride. It wasn't too long, but when you haven't ridden in three months and it still feels pretty cold when you're riding fast and the wind is blasting you in the face. I still had a good time though. I like adventuring through random backstreets and seeing where I end up. For reference I have absolutely no sense of direction and I get lost easily, which is what makes this fun.
In order to prepare I layered up on clothes and realized it was time to give this Gatorade Prime 01 a test drive. When Mike drank one he said that it had an almost slimy texture. I couldn't agree more. "Almost slimy" is the perfect way to describe it. As your squeezing it into your mouth from the pouch it feels super slimy. Almost like quarter machine slime. Then when it's in your mouth for a second it seems just like a slightly thicker Gatorade. It's weird. I don't know why it feels like a different consistency, but it does and it's strange. The flavor of it falls pretty much dead center between regular fruit punch Gatorade and straight up Gatorade concentrate.
I was weary about drinking this, but the flavor and consistency was much better than anticipated. It also made me chock full of carbs and B vitamins.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/7/2012
Gatorade Perform 02 Rain Lime
When I feel myself getting sick, like if I wake up with a sore throat, cough, or the like, I have two "Go-To" fixes. One is to buy a small carton of orange juice and slam it in one day, spinning my body into a scurvy-free, urinating ball of vitamin C. The other one, which I use less, is to drink Gatorade. Any flavor would have been better than this, though, because it's rank, and no, not like The Smith's record.
Oh this is lime, but it's got a certain...undesirable viscosity. It is from the carbo-loading qualities of the "02 Perform" line. If I were training for a marathon and wanted to skip on my eleventh spaghetti and potato meal of the day, I would slam this as fast as my gullet would approve because even then, I wouldn't want it. I guess as far as carb drinks go, this is pretty good as it actually tastes like lime and your mouth is already used to the thickness of it. For people like me who don't work out and just skip meals while blaming it on my kid taking up all my time but really it's because a Subway foot-long sub the way I like it is upwards of the worst thing one can eat, I just want a simple Gatorade. This loses the superior drinkability that I like about Gatorade. Taste-wise though; consider the mark missed.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/4/2012
Gatorade Low Calorie Perform 02 Blueberry Pomegranate
I've got to get this off the docket immediately. Blueberries, although blue on the outside, are purple. If I had a handful of blueberries and threw them at Andrew WK's crisp white shirt, not only would I be a jerk, but his shirt would have purple on it, not blue. Why do I bring this up? Well friends, this Gatorade might be the most insincere color of all time. It's toxic blue. It's windshield/windscreen washer blue. To add insult to injury, pomegranates most certainly aren't blue. The color of this drink, to me, is unnecessary and brings me to another point; why do we need to color drinks anyhow? Color doesn't mean flavor. Plus, don't those dyes cost money? Save money and I'll drink clear drinks all day. I don't care about it. I will go as far to say that I don't need purple carrot to color my organic drinks. Let the cards fall as they may. If a drink is off white, I don't care. If a drink is brown, I don't care. I know it's a way to distinguish the different flavors and if I see a red drink, it's probably cherry or strawberry. You feel me, dogg?
Flavor is like any other Gatorade, which is surprising because this is low calories and I can't tell the difference. Kudos for that. I can't say that I taste really any distinguishable blueberry or pomegranate. Maybe, if I'm pushing it and Gatorade comes to my house and puts a gun to my head I would say that I might taste some blueberry. If Gatorade does come to my house, I hope they bring that purple "Rain" flavor because that is delicious.
Gatorade, why don't you come out with a clear line of sports drinks? You could market it like, "These colors don't run, but you do." or "We don't see color, we only see results." or the less popular "These drinks are color blind but they're help you train for the air force."
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/13/2011
Gatorade Low Calorie Perform 02 Tropical Blend
Have you heard, Ghostbusters has gone "green." For years they were able to get around all of the E.P.A. laws because they were the only company in the game of keeping NYC's ghosts (I wonder if they were in the inspiration for the
Sonic Youth record) off the streets and in a containment unit where they belong. These days the laws have gotten stricter and they were forced to give in.
This one was Egon's brainchild. He teamed up with Gatorade and worked out a formula that would convert all of their leftover ectoplasm into a tropical tasting sports drink. He came up with the idea when he noticed that Louis Tully always got a second wind whenever he got "slimed." He's normally an accountant/lawyer and is not even close to being in good shape so dragging his proton pack around the city really put a drain on him. He would be dead on his feet and then without fail some ghost would slime him and within seconds he'd be up and running again. After a few quick tests Egon realized that ectoplasm was really 67% electrolytes. He isolated an isotope or two and before he knew it he had a tasty drink on his hands. The only downfall was that it remained a toxic looking green. Let's face it though a lot of the Gatorade flavors are fairly neon in color.
Egon, who is ever the health nut, sweetened the newly transformed ectoplasm with sucralose to try and keep the overweight citizens of New York in check. Gatorade put up a stink, claiming that it tasted too diet, so he ended up adding some sucrose to it as well. The result is a light fruit punch tasting drink that only has the faintest tinge of a diet flavor too it. Now hopefully the public won't freak out when they realize they are essentially drinking ghost poop.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/10/2011
Gatorade Prime 01 Orange
Slime? No. Not quite. Puree? No. Slime? Maybe now that I've ruled out puree. Oh, hello. I didn't see you standing there with that dumb hat on and creepy mustache. What am I doing? Trying to find the right way to describe the viscosity of this drink. It's thicker than a standard, run-of-the-mill liquid. It's meant for carb'n you up before a session of bulkin' out. Bulkin' out. I like that. This is not as sweet as you might expect. Flavor-wise, it's not terrible. It's a bit like a syrupy melted orange Freezepop. It doesn't have that gritty, protein taste. No, it's not a protein drink, but you know how those supplement drinks can be.
I know that some people go to work out and then come home and slam their weight in spaghetti to carb-o-load. Well now you can carb-o-load and think of Florida. Better? I thought so. Good luck in your endeavors as a rapist or child pornographer. That mustache is going to get you arrested within four hours. I guarantee it.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/7/2011
Gatorade Perform 02 Rain Berry
Somewhere in the sands of the Sahara there is a paradise-esque oasis. It is only 30ft x 30ft, but that 900 square foot patch is considered by many to be heaven. It is extremely treacherous to journey to the area that locals call Gondelavisti, but it is said that anyone who completes the journey never returns the same person. It is in this are that the ever-elusive rain berry grows. A common misconception is that the rain berry grows in tropical rainforests. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is the rain berry is what causes the desert. The plant sucks up all of the moisture from the ground leaving everything for miles around cracked and dusty. Honestly without the rain berry deserts would not exist on this world. Luckily it is not an invasive plant of Earth would be the opposite of Water World.
The other side of this coin is that a single berry contains so much water and electrolytes that it could quench the thirst of an entire village that has withstood a 20-year drought. It seems that Gatorade has made its way to Gondelavisti and returned with a supply of rain berries, which they have used in their line of sports drinks. It is very light and absolutely refreshing. The rain berry tastes like a mix between grapes and strawberries. I appreciate that it isn't as syrupy as the original Gatorade line. I've heard that they only use one rain berry for every ten batches of this stuff that they make. That's how insane those berries actually are.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/24/2011
