Gazzu - 3 Reviews

Gazzu Mango Orange

Gazzu Mango Orange
As the herd of horses circled Hans, he was a bit worried. He had just knocked over eleven motorcycles like dominoes like in Pee Wee's Big Adventure at a local bar. He was reading a map and walking backwards, a poor combination, and bumped into a bike ever so gently. Knocked them all down, one after another. It all happened in slow motion. All of the bikers came out of the bar because they knew what had happened. They saw Hans standing there, shoulders shrugged, knowing that he was the cause of the mess, and came towards him. He jumped in an old Volkswagon Beetle that a young woman had left the keys in and sped down the street.

After about five minutes, Hans looked back, stopped the car, got out and looked for a phone to call someone. He walked towards a phone, picked it up and didn't hear a dial tone. He looked down and the wire had been cut. Just as he hung up the phone, he heard the galloping of what sounded like a hundred hooves. He turned around and there were a dozen guys on horses staring him down. They had found him. He was in trouble. They all came towards him slowly, yelling in Portuguese, which he couldn't understand because he was born and raised in Boise, Idaho. In high school he only had his option between French and Spanish.

With his back up against a wall, he looked around for some sort of out. He didn't see one until he looked in the Beetle and saw a sparkle in the cup holder. He ran to the car and took out a can of Gazzu. He saw that it was an energy drink and that's exactly what he needed at this point. He opened it up and drank half the can. Feeling the effects kick in immediately, he just started to run. In his head, he thought that he would get some sort of super strength and "Red Rover" through the line of impenetrable muscle.

As he ran towards them, he took a few more sips to ensure a break of the chain of strength. It was for naught as when he ran square into the largest man, he simply fell on the ground and saw stars. The men dragged him by his collar back to the bar. He sipped the Gazzu in hopes that he would muster up enough strength to break free. Now that he had the time to taste the drink, he noticed that it was incredibly sweet. It did taste like a majorly carbonated orange juice with candy in it. He liked the taste and drank the rest of the can before he got back to the scene of the crime.

The men told him to pick up each of the bikes and they said they didn't mind because all of their bikes were pretty beat up. The Gazzu gave Hans the energy he needed to lift all the bikes and put them back how he found them. Then the men invited him into the bar to buy him a drink. They weren't mad that he knocked down the bikes, they were mad he was a coward and ran. He learned that day that he would stand up for himself. Just then, a large woman kicked in the door to the bar and asked to see the man that stole her Beetle. Hans ran out the back door and was never seen in that part of town again.
Rating
🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
Gazzu
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Author
Mike Literman on 3/6/12, 4:54 PM
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Gazzu Energy Drink

Gazzu Energy Drink
Deep within the jungles of South America, there is a town called Gazzu. Not many people know about it because it's really hard to get to. One must row down a river for 2 days, and then hike through the rainforest forest for another day. Only then do you come to Gazzu, the town so small it's not on any map. The reason why it's not on any map is because once people go there they never leave.

No, it's not because they get killed. Why would you jump to that conclusion? It's because of the Gazzu energy spring. While most places in the world have water springs, the spring here gives you life and energy. Okay, so maybe it doesn't give you life per se, but it definitely fills you with energy. Unlike other springs, it's carbonated and sweet. It almost tastes like melted candy.

Now you may ask yourself, how do you know about this spring? Well I live here in Gazzu. This has been one long infomercial on the merits of moving here. Don't you feel more informed now?
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
Gazzu
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose and High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Derek Neuland on 12/29/11, 7:24 PM
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Gazzu Low-Carb Energy Drink

Gazzu Low-Carb Energy Drink
I didn't even have to open this to determine what it would taste like. The can is obviously trying to replicate Monster energy drinks so I was guessing that the insides were as well. I assumed correctly because this tastes just like the low carb Monster: melted candy with a diet energy drink aftertaste. Not bad per se, but not groundbreaking. This should try and find its own energy identity and stop trying to emulate one of the best out there.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Diet and Energy Drink
Company
Gazzu
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Author
Derek Neuland on 10/10/11, 12:11 PM
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