Grandpa Lundquist - 2 Reviews

Dear Grandpa Lundquist,
I know we haven't seen each other in many, many years, but I needed to write you about something important. Despite being family, I think it's important that I am completely honest with you. I found a bottle of your "Christmas Soda" in the basement last night and drank it. Well, tried to drink it. Mom said it's called Julmust in Sweden and you used to trick her with it when she wanted a treat. I wish she had warned me before I took a big swig. If I knew it had barley and hops in it, I would have never taken it off the shelf. To quote a friend who I let try it, "it tastes like cough medicine, flat beer, and diet coke". While I've never tasted beer myself, I agree completely. My question to you is why would you make something so gross?

Thanks for the proverbial lump of coal.

Your disgusted grandson,
Derek

While Euroboy may be as graceful as can be when it comes to playing guitar, the same cannot be said about the rest of his life. The sad truth is that he is the klutz of Turbonegro. Whenever the band gets together to practice or a show at some point or another Euroboy will break something. It's really his hat that is to blame. With that thing on he really can't see a thing, but he just refuses to take it off. In 2003 when the band had a party to release their album “Scandinavian Leather” Hank from Hell ordered a case of Glogg to celebrate in true Scandinavian fashion. He was so proud of his score, but then Euroboy came bumbling in and crashed into the table. The case went flying and all but one bottle were smashed. It was a sad state of affairs and it's what ultimately led to Hank leaving the band years later.

Oh you've never heard of Glogg? Well it's a traditional Scandinavian winter beverage that is in essence grape and apple juice mixed with chai. You are supposed to drink it hot. I recommend that you do so because when it's cold it tastes like someone dumped some liquid potpourri into juice. It's pretty gross. It smells wonderful. It smells the way Christmas should, and not like burned churches as you might expect something from that region to. When you heat it up it is much better. It is very intense. It's definitely a sipping beverage and not something that you would chug. It's sweet and full of spices such as cinnamon, cloves and cardamom. I would have never thought of mixing chai with fruit juice but it makes an interesting match that will help keep you warm during those long Eastern European winters. Now go listen to any of the three albums that Turbonegro released as the Apocalypse Trilogy and pump your fist. There is no better album than “Apocalypse Dudes” for keeping you awake on those long overnight drives.